Men say the funniest things

[Angela2612]

hurt the chips I've heard it all now

I'm loving this thread OH is always getting muddled up he's worse than me

 

[Durhamchance]

love it!

 

[evie_smith]

I read all the way through this last night reading bits to DH we were in stitches! Lol mostly me I couldn't tell him half of it for laughing!

My hubby won't say "silly" things buy he will come out with stupid things hours later for example - yesterday

Me "I've got £20 in my purse at home if I save £3.50 after our Chinese tonight you can have the change for fags the next day"

DH "what"

Me "are you listening?"

DH "yea"

Me "are you sure?"

DH "yea after Chinese tonight you will buy me fags"

Me "no you can get them yourself the next day!"

About 2 hours later (after shopping)

DH "did you save any change?" (He had given me money for elec key)

Me "no I told you I'm putting it all on the electric"

DH "what?! I thought you were buying me fags?!"

Me "I knew you weren't listening!"

 

[Angela2612]

Well OH went out and bought himself dead space 3 its a ps3 game and was playing it most of the night, Well this morning baby woke me up at half 7 and OH woke half asleep turned to me and

OH says: don't forget to collect your resources
Me: huh what you on about
OH: don't forget to collect your resources from around the house
Me: what the fuck you talking about
OH: it doesn't matter, just don't forget to collect your resources on dead space
ME: I don't even have dead space you fool

I swear he spends to much time on that ps3, can't wait to ask him about these resources I'm meant to be collecting around the house

 

[evie_smith]

Lol!!

 

[Angela2612]

I remember him telling me to look out for canisters of oxygen too

 

[evie_smith]

Haha!! I sleep talk! Hubby said I say the strangest things I had a go at him one night for turning the light on and waking me up! Aha!! The light was of course off! And I was fast asleep

 

[Angela2612]

i also sleep talk well OH says I do I don't remember any of it of course

 

[Frankie_Lou]

Got up with William in the night and when I got back into bed had this conversation.OH: where've you been?
Me: to sort William out, he was cold so I've put another blanket on him
OH: well of course he's cold you've put him in the fridge!
What the hell was he dreaming about? Lol
And just for the record I've never put him in the fridge!

 

[evie_smith]

Hahaha!!

 

[MrsR]

Lmao frankie!!! That is just too funny!

 

[tweetyfoo]

Frankie!

I have to share this one - it was my gran so not technically "men say the funniest things" topic

My gran was asking what SIL's partner did when we were at the Christening and it went like this

Me: He's a psychiatrist
Gran: A what?
Me: A psychiatrist
Gran: Oh really do you think he'll do me a reading
Claire (my sis) : No granny a psychiatrist not a psychic
Gran: Oh - can he not give me a reading then?

I nearly fell off my seat

 

[KAW83]

Down stairs expressing and giggling to myself trying not to wake hubby and Megan! So good to have a giggle

Megan arrived at 0052 and we got home at 0600 popped Megan in her basket and went straight to sleep. Obviously completely shattered due to long labor.

Door bell goes at 1030, I wake up panicked as its going again.
Turn to hubby and say someone's at the door.
(Obv last few weeks before having Megan hubby had been helping me out of bed as so big had to be launched!)
Hubby: Ok
Me: babes they'll be gone if you don't go now
Hubby: hmmm
Me: I really don't think I can do it
Hubby: I'll help you (half asleep)
Me: ok but I just don't think I can (tears start coming)
Hubby: it's ok hubby ill help you, don't worry
Hubby starts to roll me out the bed and tries sitting me up. With more tears and moans that I don't think I can.
Hubby: what are you doing babes?
Me: I'm was trying to wake you to answer the door, but you just started rolling me out the bed, I've just had a baby and my bits aren't quite right yet. I don't think I can do it.
Hubby: oh god so sorry (quickly starts helping me back to bed)
It was the midwife so up I got anyway!

Was horrible at the time, being exhausted in pain and "helped" to answer the door!
Reminded hubby about it the other day and we were both in stitches.
What lack of sleep can do to you hay?!

 

[Pudds86]

Aww bless him!! Haha. Obviously exhausted. Id have been shouting at the git. Lol x

Tapatalking :-D Can't see tickers...

 

[CeeCee]

Loooool. The sleep talking ones sound like me. It was only the other night I whacked myself in the face cause I thought there was a wasp on me & I asked my OH if he'd help me rob a cash point, with a snorkel so no one would know who it is & if I get sent to prison, can I take the Ice cream!

Paha

 

[evie_smith]

Lol!!

 

[Froslass]

Oh and I were in the car at mcdonalds drive thru before Christmas, a leona Lewis song came on the radio..

Me: oh, I haven't heard one of her songs for ages!
OH: me either...
Me: I wonder what happened to her?
OH: she bled to death.

Cue me spraying my juice everywhere.

 

[brand new]

Oh and I were in the car at mcdonalds drive thru before Christmas, a leona Lewis song came on the radio..

Me: oh, I haven't heard one of her songs for ages!
OH: me either...
Me: I wonder what happened to her?
OH: she bled to death.

Cue me spraying my juice everywhere.

I just actually wee'd reading this!! X

 

[evie_smith]

OMG what I thing to say! Lol x

 

[NavyLouise]

My oh is making a cheesecake, he just ran into the bathroom (I was having a nice soak!) and in a matter of life and death tone asked "egg YOLK, is the middle bit isn't it?"


Bloody hell!