Men say the funniest things

[tinks77]

My hubby doesn't often say something stupid but this one just came up

Watching the dispatches program about benefits and the guy on the telly says 'next I put the boss of job centre plus on the spot' and it's cuts to said boss

Hubby: is she your boss then?
Me: who do I work for?
Him: job centre
Me: and what is she the boss of?
Him: job centre
Me: Durrr so yes then?

 

[BabysMomma]

Last night watching the Olympics

The bit with the kids doing the sign language ...

DH: is that for the blind folk or something

Me:


Please excuse any typos from my fat fingers!
Tapatalk madness!

Haha! Brilliant! That actually made me lol

 

[pinkyprincess]

My OH thinks Annie Lennox is in the arithmetic's!!!!

Nuff said!

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

Aahhhhh I could write a book! This thread is cracking me up! My favourite was the conversation about baked beans and spaghetti being the same thing he was completely clueless! He really is fik as shit tho!

 

[John.Cleveland]

Ahh, come on John, you must have come out with some clangers in your time!

Nope (H)

someone should get a thread about blonde women started lol...

 

[tweetyfoo]

Not really something DH said but done yesterday

I was craving carrots and houmous yesterday and asked if he could pick it up on the way home and he turned up with a muddy bunch of carrots and no houmous

He apparently didn't want to turn up
With nothing


Please excuse any typos from my fat fingers!
Tapatalk madness!

 

[Kayelle]

Haha tweety! Bless him!

Mine did something similar, asked for one banana, no bruises, came back with 2 bags because they were a bargain. Of course they were cheap as they were about to go off...

 

[Pudds86]

my OH thought crocodiles and alligators were the same animal just that one was male, one was female... lol

Sent from my shit hot phone! Fo shizzle home girls.

 

[Wills_Mrs]

Stick with me.. This is a bit of a story..

Flying back up to Inverness from London on easyjet flight.. He says he wants a sandwich and a drink from trolley (after much protesting from me about the bloody prices!), and I say fine but need to get Charlie (our dog) one of the chew toys from the gift trolley.. He says aye ok just wake me up (he always sleeps on planes) when the trolley comes round..

So the snack trolley starts to come round, so I nudge him to say the trolley is on the way round. When it gets to our seats he says "can I have a BLT sandwich, a cup of tea, and a plane dog chew?"

I start pissing myself laughing while the stewardess looks at him like he's insane! Then she says "I'm sorry we don't sell dog chews".. He starts arguing and says "aye ya do! It's in the catalogue" and she says "oh yes sir! But that's the next trolley to come round. I thought you wanted a dog chew to eat not a toy!"

OMG!! I was laughing so hard at this point I almost asked her to drop the oxygen masks!! Still wet myself laughing about it now... He always says "in my defence I was half asleep!"..

 

[tweetyfoo]

 

[Em91]

Stick with me.. This is a bit of a story..

Flying back up to Inverness from London on easyjet flight.. He says he wants a sandwich and a drink from trolley (after much protesting from me about the bloody prices!), and I say fine but need to get Charlie (our dog) one of the chew toys from the gift trolley.. He says aye ok just wake me up (he always sleeps on planes) when the trolley comes round..

So the snack trolley starts to come round, so I nudge him to say the trolley is on the way round. When it gets to our seats he says "can I have a BLT sandwich, a cup of tea, and a plane dog chew?"

I start pissing myself laughing while the stewardess looks at him like he's insane! Then she says "I'm sorry we don't sell dog chews".. He starts arguing and says "aye ya do! It's in the catalogue" and she says "oh yes sir! But that's the next trolley to come round. I thought you wanted a dog chew to eat not a toy!"

OMG!! I was laughing so hard at this point I almost asked her to drop the oxygen masks!! Still wet myself laughing about it now... He always says "in my defence I was half asleep!"..

rofl, am reading this in bed and just lol'd! woke oh up! x

Using tapatalk so excuse the typos!

 

[Little_angel]

I love this thread so much!

 

[tweetyfoo]

this thread needed resurrecting because ...

DH put A in bed last night while I was expressing

I went in and found A in his sleeping bag, back to front

Me: You've put him in back to front
DH: Aye, but he's sleeping on his tummy
Me:

 

[KellyHook]

Omfg!!!

 

[daisyduke76]

This isn't pregnancy or baby related at all, but the other morning, the Prince song, Raspberry Beret came on the radio. I heard my DH singing, "red, spherical dress" and he had no idea they weren't the actual words!

 

[Emily0505]

This isn't pregnancy or baby related at all, but the other morning, the Prince song, Raspberry Beret came on the radio. I heard my DH singing, "red, spherical dress" and he had no idea they weren't the actual words!

Brilliant!!

XX

 

[tweetyfoo]

DH thought the words to fairy tale of New York were

The boys of the nypd choir were singing do re me

But I thought the destinys child independant woman lyrics were

"Throw your hands up batman"




Please excuse any typos from my fat fingers!
Tapatalk madness!

 

[daisyduke76]

DH thought the words to fairy tale of New York were

The boys of the nypd choir were singing do re me

But I thought the destinys child independant woman lyrics were

"Throw your hands up batman"




Please excuse any typos from my fat fingers!
Tapatalk madness!

That had me giggling out loud! My other fave from DH is from the Queen song Don't Stop Me Now - he though the lyric was, "I'm a six shot shooter, ready to reload..." rather than sex machine!

 

[Jazz]

Convo between me and daughters dad last night, just found out im pregnant again and ask him if I looked ok

him: you can see your bump in that top
me: that's not possible unless its twins
him: it can't be unless you have what horses get
me:hur
him:I saw it it on tv you know

he was on about ivf he thought that was the only way you get twins pmsl. I do need some bigger jumpers so he was right one one thing!

 

[tweetyfoo]

Just after I had A, I got dressed when we were getting home the first time and we had this conversation

Me: I feel so fat
DH: You're not as fat as you were yesterday

CHARMER!