** May 2019 Testing Thread **

[Kitana]

I am also so fed up with my body. I had an internal scan where they found a cyst 3.5cm on right side and one of the left. I have so much pain during my cycle with endo and cyst now. I am definitely giving up on getting pregnant, seriously I have been trying nearly 2 years now, and all I have left is pain.

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way Max... I had a cyst of 4cm on one ovary a few weeks after my mmc. It's probably your body being a bit confused by the declining hcg but wanting to ovulate. Mine went away on it's own. I'm sure you feel a bit lost at the moment and it will take some time before your body is healed. I was ready to throw in the towel after 3 months of waiting and not knowing what was going on but I caught that egg. There is still hope and I think you better talk to a fertility specialist to know why you keep having those miscarriages. You already have a lovely daughter running around so the chance that you can keep a pregnancy to term is very high. Sometimes it doesn't make sense but it will happen. I'm sure of it.

 

[Maximus17]

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way Max... I had a cyst of 4cm on one ovary a few weeks after my mmc. It's probably your body being a bit confused by the declining hcg but wanting to ovulate. Mine went away on it's own. I'm sure you feel a bit lost at the moment and it will take some time before your body is healed. I was ready to throw in the towel after 3 months of waiting and not knowing what was going on but I caught that egg. There is still hope and I think you better talk to a fertility specialist to know why you keep having those miscarriages. You already have a lovely daughter running around so the chance that you can keep a pregnancy to term is very high. Sometimes it doesn't make sense but it will happen. I'm sure of it.

Thank you Kitana. I just feel so defeated with fertility. I sometimes wish I never tried for a second baby so I wouldn’t feel like this. I am so lucky to have my daughter. I look at her and think I am so lucky as I know how difficult is to have a healthy pregnancy and baby. I really appreciate it more now. Some women have no idea as they keep having babies with no issues. Anyway I am feeling a bit arghhh today as I have no idea if I have ovulated , when is af coming etc. I am having lots of horrible pains though not ovulation. I am thinking to go on birth control so I don’t ovulate and don’t think about it.

 

[babylove2016]

Morning ladies...

I'm so sorry some of you are really feeling the fertility struggle today. It's actual poop... maybe one day we will all be able to have a good look at our repro system using some kind of whizzy screen and all of this will be sooo much easier to understand.

I'm starting to think I did ovulate a week later than normal (CD25) which is mental. My cycles have been a bit pete tong since the early loss in March and I guess I need to be kinder to my body. I'm CD33 today, no AF. If I ovulated at CD18 as per usual, I'd be two days late for AF... but if I didn't and it was when I got my peak (even though no ewcm) I'd only be 8dpo. Oh the joys of having no IDEA!

We are all in this together ladies and I'm so thankful for your support. Honestly, I really look forward to reading these posts and if I can offer some advice and/or comfort, even better.

xx

 

[Kitana]

Thank you Kitana. I just feel so defeated with fertility. I sometimes wish I never tried for a second baby so I wouldn’t feel like this. I am so lucky to have my daughter. I look at her and think I am so lucky as I know how difficult is to have a healthy pregnancy and baby. I really appreciate it more now. Some women have no idea as they keep having babies with no issues. Anyway I am feeling a bit arghhh today as I have no idea if I have ovulated , when is af coming etc. I am having lots of horrible pains though not ovulation. I am thinking to go on birth control so I don’t ovulate and don’t think about it.

My gynaecologist gave me 2 boxes of birth control for two months to calm the ovaries and to stop ovulation but I didn't take them because I wanted to ttc asap. But I don't think it's a bad idea.. where do you live?x

 

[Maximus17]

My gynaecologist gave me 2 boxes of birth control for two months to calm the ovaries and to stop ovulation but I didn't take them because I wanted to ttc asap. But I don't think it's a bad idea.. where do you live?x

I live in the UK.
I just been to a psychiatrist and she told me to just stop thinking about TTC and everything about it. She said it will happen when you are happy and don’t obsess. She even said don’t even do a test if you miss your period. Just live your life as normal and leave it. She said stress can bring miscarriages and even stop you from getting pregnant. She put me on short term anti depressants so I need to see her every 2 weeks for 6 sessions. She also said she sees women get pregnant naturally over the age of 45 so I am going to follow her advice and just relax.

 

[Lollypop79]

Thanks hun, I’ve really surprised myself how hard I’ve taken it this month. I’ve got one more cycle left of ovulation induction that we’ve already paid for then me and dh will decide if we want to try this for another 3 months or move on to ivf.

Aw I’m sorry. It really is a tough journey and it’s so hard to figure what to do x

 

[Lollypop79]

I live in the UK.
I just been to a psychiatrist and she told me to just stop thinking about TTC and everything about it. She said it will happen when you are happy and don’t obsess. She even said don’t even do a test if you miss your period. Just live your life as normal and leave it. She said stress can bring miscarriages and even stop you from getting pregnant. She put me on short term anti depressants so I need to see her every 2 weeks for 6 sessions. She also said she sees women get pregnant naturally over the age of 45 so I am going to follow her advice and just relax.

It’s easier said than done to just relax isn’t it. I hope the sessions help and you feel a lot more relaxed and better soon xx

 

[Maximus17]

It’s easier said than done to just relax isn’t it. I hope the sessions help and you feel a lot more relaxed and better soon xx

yes definitely it's easier said than done but I have no choice. I obsessed for nearly 2 years and it got me no where. You do hear stories of women get pregnant when they stop trying, and I have so many relatives like this. One of them had IVF , after that she got pregnant twice naturally. Obviously if you have no fertility issues than it could happen. I have seriously decided to move on with my life after talking to her, and concentrate on what I have rather than what I don't have. Lets see if I can put it to practice now

 

[chattychar1990]

yes definitely it's easier said than done but I have no choice. I obsessed for nearly 2 years and it got me no where. You do hear stories of women get pregnant when they stop trying, and I have so many relatives like this. One of them had IVF , after that she got pregnant twice naturally. Obviously if you have no fertility issues than it could happen. I have seriously decided to move on with my life after talking to her, and concentrate on what I have rather than what I don't have. Lets see if I can put it to practice now

That’s amazing Maximus.
I think these sessions will really help you x

 

[soffphie]

I dont want to test tomorrow :'( im such a big wimp!
keep thinking of reasons why its a bad day to find out im pregnant.
but it is a good day to find out im not pregnant (last feast day, start fresh Sunday etc!)

 

[Natalie8964]

I dont want to test tomorrow :'( im such a big wimp!
keep thinking of reasons why its a bad day to find out im pregnant.
but it is a good day to find out im not pregnant (last feast day, start fresh Sunday etc!)

Try not to think about it - read a book, put a movie on! Whatever will be, will be.. whatever the outcome you cant change it, but of course I hope its good news for you x

 

[Kitana]

yes definitely it's easier said than done but I have no choice. I obsessed for nearly 2 years and it got me no where. You do hear stories of women get pregnant when they stop trying, and I have so many relatives like this. One of them had IVF , after that she got pregnant twice naturally. Obviously if you have no fertility issues than it could happen. I have seriously decided to move on with my life after talking to her, and concentrate on what I have rather than what I don't have. Lets see if I can put it to practice now

She is so right though. It will happen when it happens and stressing about it will only make it make the journey so much longer!
I hope you will feel better soon!

 

[soffphie]

I dont think be a + for me tomorrow. Yellow cm & a slight wet feeling. So v much likely out. Ill defo test tomorrow am as starting to get anxious and wanting to keep checking etc (havent yet!) But to stop that and to just know .. ill test

 

[SugaryIris]

I dont want to test tomorrow :'( im such a big wimp!
keep thinking of reasons why its a bad day to find out im pregnant.
but it is a good day to find out im not pregnant (last feast day, start fresh Sunday etc!)

You’re not a whimp, don’t force yourself to test if you can’t stand it, waiting a few extra days won’t change the outcome. X

 

[LuckyLaura]

sending big hugs to everyone, I'm so sorry to hear that there are lovely ladies in here struggling so much this month in particular. The ttc journey is so hard I've been feeling really dispirited since hubby has halted our journey but I can't do anything about it. He asked me not to talk about it too as he feels under pressure if I do apparently xx

 

[soffphie]

Hi so i tested, very nervous 10mns. Obviously a No-
Im not surprised and now im glad i just know but it feels different to seeing AF - less real in a bit of shock so far really!!
Just to add i used FRER and i too saw the evap line, i think ladies they are all doing them now and i think ya need to see a very obvious pink to be a +
Now i have to try and mustar some energy to act 'normal' all day. argh. its so tough.
AF due either tomorrow, monday (v likely) or pos at latest tuesday. ill temp now - end just to know the day before it comes.

 

[SugaryIris]

Hi so i tested, very nervous 10mns. Obviously a No-
Im not surprised and now im glad i just know but it feels different to seeing AF - less real in a bit of shock so far really!!
Just to add i used FRER and i too saw the evap line, i think ladies they are all doing them now and i think ya need to see a very obvious pink to be a +
Now i have to try and mustar some energy to act 'normal' all day. argh. its so tough.
AF due either tomorrow, monday (v likely) or pos at latest tuesday. ill temp now - end just to know the day before it comes.

I’m sorry hun, I really hope this happens soon for you. I agree about the frer I see the Evaps on every test now x

 

[Bambi42]

Hi girls,

I’ve not been on for a while because I just feel so lost. I had to leave the office in tears yesterday because my colleague had been to where we live and was going on and on about what a lovely place it is and how child friendly he found it. Loads of cafes with kids menus, a nice park, loads of couples pushing buggies . It’s just so hard to listen to when we so desperately want a child. My other half has finally admitted how gutted he is our ivf didn’t work after putting a brave face on. And that breaks my heart even more.

But reading through all these posts and seeing how hurt we all are in this process I wanted to say that I think you’re all incredible. I’m don’t know why our bodies aren’t doing what we want them to.....but it’s not our fault. And I think it’s important not to beat ourselves up, even on the really dark days.

@Maximus17 good for you going to the psychologist, that takes courage and I hope it helps you find a way through.

Maybe we just need to re-charge our batteries? Because women are incredibly strong and when you think you’ve hit rock bottom somehow we find the courage to find a way through.

I have found the Zita West book (How to get pregnant) really valuable, I wish I’d bought it years ago instead of after 18 months of TTC. She suggests hypnosis works for some people to remove any emotional / mental barriers. I honestly can’t afford anything else after the ivf but for my own sanity I’m going to try it in the hope it brings me some peace and some coping mechanisms. I go on Tuesday and am a little bit scared.

Lots of love to you girls x

 

[soffphie]

Hi girls,

I’ve not been on for a while because I just feel so lost. I had to leave the office in tears yesterday because my colleague had been to where we live and was going on and on about what a lovely place it is and how child friendly he found it. Loads of cafes with kids menus, a nice park, loads of couples pushing buggies . It’s just so hard to listen to when we so desperately want a child. My other half has finally admitted how gutted he is our ivf didn’t work after putting a brave face on. And that breaks my heart even more.

But reading through all these posts and seeing how hurt we all are in this process I wanted to say that I think you’re all incredible. I’m don’t know why our bodies aren’t doing what we want them to.....but it’s not our fault. And I think it’s important not to beat ourselves up, even on the really dark days.

@Maximus17 good for you going to the psychologist, that takes courage and I hope it helps you find a way through.

Maybe we just need to re-charge our batteries? Because women are incredibly strong and when you think you’ve hit rock bottom somehow we find the courage to find a way through.

I have found the Zita West book (How to get pregnant) really valuable, I wish I’d bought it years ago instead of after 18 months of TTC. She suggests hypnosis works for some people to remove any emotional / mental barriers. I honestly can’t afford anything else after the ivf but for my own sanity I’m going to try it in the hope it brings me some peace and some coping mechanisms. I go on Tuesday and am a little bit scared.

Lots of love to you girls x

Bambi im so sorry to hear your not feeling too good. i know the feeling just starts becoming pretty numbing dont it. But the hypnosis could work for you!? you never know anything good for you mentally has got to be good for TTC

 

[Nattles33]

Morning ladies...

I'm so sorry some of you are really feeling the fertility struggle today. It's actual poop... maybe one day we will all be able to have a good look at our repro system using some kind of whizzy screen and all of this will be sooo much easier to understand.

I'm starting to think I did ovulate a week later than normal (CD25) which is mental. My cycles have been a bit pete tong since the early loss in March and I guess I need to be kinder to my body. I'm CD33 today, no AF. If I ovulated at CD18 as per usual, I'd be two days late for AF... but if I didn't and it was when I got my peak (even though no ewcm) I'd only be 8dpo. Oh the joys of having no IDEA!

We are all in this together ladies and I'm so thankful for your support. Honestly, I really look forward to reading these posts and if I can offer some advice and/or comfort, even better.

xx

@babylove2016 i feel your pain I am in the same position I NO IDEA what’s going on.

My miscarriage was Feb. Had a period in March and I’ve had nothing since. I’m well overdue. I’m no pregnant I’ve done a test, in assuming my body is still getting back to normal.