I would like to recommend a book to read. Its such a good book that has changed my life, I call it the womens BIBLE.
Its called, 'Why Men Love Bitches' by, Sherry Argov. Anyone heard of it or read it? She also wrote: 'Why Men Marry Bitches.'
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1580 ... y&v=glance
I too used to get jealous. Still do a bit sometimes. Used to get so jealous (even after reading this book once) I would get sick in my stomach at the thought of my boyfriend going out with his mates.
Now I realise that there is no need for jealousy and there are plenty of fish in the sea. Why get so hung up about one guy when there are millions of men out there to shower me with gifts if my current screws up.
I think Sherry's book should be titled 'Independant Woman' because it made me realise my self worth. Which helped me to get over the jealousy. I had to realise this within myself, and it was like a demon being exorcised from my soul! The burden of jealousy was so heavy and overpowering. Now I feel a million pounds lighter inside, even though I am huge with pregnancy!
Bitch (noun): A woman who wont bang her head against the wall obsessing over someone elses opinion be it a man or anyone else in her life. She understands that if someone does not approve of her, its just one persons opinion; therefore, its of no real importance. She doesnt try to live up to anyone elses standards only her own. Because of this, she relates to a man very differently.
The theme of Argovs book is that being too nice, too willing to bend over backwards to accommodate and please a man, as well as being too available, does not bring you the love and attention you crave from a man but having your own life, and standing up for yourself will. The point isnt to be an ungrateful shrew, but to use intelligence and humor to let a man know youre not to be messed with. Argov originally began writing the book as a joke because she was always the one friends turned to for boyfriend advice, but after interviewing hundreds of men she realized she was hearing important information straight from the horses mouth that just had to be shared with other women.
The book is organized into ten chapters with 100 Attraction Principals taking the reader from the very beginnings of a relationship and what will really gain a mans interest such as Attraction Principal #6 Its your attitude about yourself that a man will adopt to re-igniting the spark in an established relationship where youve begun to feel unappreciated and taken for granted with Attraction Principal #86 The more independent you are of him, the more interested he will be.
Again and again Argov points out in the book that you can be very nice and still get your point across. In chapter five Jumping Through A Hoop Like A Circus Poodle Argov points out When you have control of yourself, you dont need to be emotional all the time. She lays out that your true power is marked by; understanding your own life rhythm (do you constantly stay up late for a man when you need to get up early?), know who you are and what you will or wont accept (has a man been able to sweet talk you into behavior that doesnt feel right to you?), having the ability to make decisions without second guessing yourself (this is a tough one for women), and having self-control.
Argovs writing is honest, to the point, and with a wry humor that sheds light on the myriad of ways women can turn themselves into romantic, emotional, and sexual pretzels for men. Her book is filled with practical no nonsense steps to take to keep from falling back into bad behavior (or too nice behavior). I found myself nodding in agreement to most of her pointers (though I have to respectfully disagree with much of chapter 4 Dumb Like A Fox) and cringing with recognition over many of the mistakes Ive made in the past when I was willing to drop just about everything for a new guy. Many women will be shocked to learn that behavior they thought was simply showing how much you care is actually the very behavior that leads a man to feel the woman isnt really interesting enough to pursue. In the section called Basic Bitch 101 Argov points out that A man notices something from the very first phone message that he leaves on a womans answering service: whether she is trying too hard. She may be trying too hard to impress him, she may be trying too hard to win him over; or she may be trying too hard to be sexy. Whether she is too needy or trying too hard, it has the same effect. The bitch never tires that hard to make an impression.
One of the most important Attraction Principals in the book is Attraction Principal #44 Most women are starving to receive something from a man that they need to give themselves. Argov points out The nice girl thinks shes giving up something to get something better in return. She gives up control over her own life. When the time comes for her to get what she had expected, she winds up disappointed. In addition to being empty-handed, shes depleted. What woman hasnt played exactly by these rules in a relationship and ended up feeling like a vampires drained her blood instead of feeling elation and fulfillment?
Just like a best girlfriend giving you a hard to hear but a much needed pep talk Argov points out behaviors that will have men walking on you like a doormat, and then spells out simple easy to take steps that will start you on the right path to be alluring again. Chapter six Nagging No More is an important one and Argov starts it off with Attraction Principle #52 When you nag, he tunes you out. But when you speak with your actions, he pays attention. The book is filled with stories Argov uses to illustrate what to and not to do in various dating and relationship situations with short stories from friends and interviewees as in chapter ten The New and Improved Bitch with the story of Charlotte and her spending a fortune on a party for her boyfriend Tom (who couldnt even be bothered to make it to the party) with Attraction Principal #95 A man feels hes won, or conquered a woman, when she eats out of the palm of his hand. At which point, he begins to get bored.
Tired of being taken advantage of? Tired of guys not calling you back or doing what they said theyd do? Well girls, then its time to get Sherrys book and find out just why men love bitches.
