Im going to loose him :(

Dee1985

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I love kris with all my heart would never ever cheat on him hurt him. he is perfect for me in every way. he treats me like a princess does any thing for me.

but me. im so obsesive and suffercating. im so ashamed to admit the way i am.
but kris has never gone to a pub in 3yrs. alot of the reason is because he dont want to and loves staying in but if he ever decided he wanted to i think i would die. he has just got a new job and works with alot of girls i no they are young and pretty.
im soooooo jelous i cant explane it

im a complete control freak i time every thing and question every thing i was so jelous of a girl on his team i made him take a pic of her on his phone so i could see her :cry: why am i so wierd and controlling? iv tryed every thing to change but i just cant! when a topless girl is on the tv i see him go red and get scared and i just boil up inside

kris tells me how much he hates it, on lunch he hides in the corner for fear of a girl chatting to him incase i find out as he knows il go potty.

kris went to the shop on lunch and just as he got in the car a girl hes training with said ohhh can i jump in so i can get some thing to eat. i phoned kris he said he crapped himself i went potty when he told me my blood boils so much i see red and want to lash out. i hate the way i am.
how can i change im slowly but surly loosing him :cry:

i love him sooo much im so scared of loosing him
 
Awwwww hun, it is horrible to be like that? Has he ever given you reason to be like this?

There has to be trust in a relationships otherwise it is miserable for both of you!

Can't you just try to stop asking so many questions about girls at work and maybe just chill a bit?! I know it is easier said than done, but he is obviously more than aware of all he can lose if he did stray in anyway, but if you don't let up a little then you could lose him anyway! :cry:

Start by trying to think of why he is with you, what he likes about you, and the life you have together...........do you really think he would want to give that all up? If the answer is no, you need to try and get more confidence in yourself babe, you really need to do this to let him off the hook a bit.

I hope you feel better soon babe :hug: xx
 
i no kris would never cheat on me its just the thought of him looking at a girl in that way. kris hasnt caused it iv been like it all my life my last boyfriend i loved to bits after 3yrs he left me he couldnt take it any more.

if some one said chop your arm off and the jelousy would go i honestly would i hate it


i think i need to see some one profesional. its messing me up i just sit in all day imaging al the bad things kris could be doing i get all angry and messed up that when he comes home i explode and shout things like "do you perve on my friends arse" its so random and he looks at me gone out
 
lately i have been the same with my other half :( i know he wouldnt cheat deep down but any girl he even looks at really winds me up

he goes to college to do welding and there is a girl there and i keep asking him if he fancys her etc even though she is really not hes type

i feel for you dionne and hope your ok but i do know how you feel but i really dont know what to do

all i can do is send you a really big hug hun and hope your feeling alot better soon :hug:
 
cheers tam and sami. been moaning to you both on msn :hug:
 
Dionne please dont take this badly but i'm going to suggest something i think might help.

I had a similar problem hun, its a total nightmare isn't it. My problems stemmed from an abusive childhood. Anyway i did get help and its made an amazing difference.

Ask your doctor about cognitive behaviour therapy. Its a form a therapy that helps you change the way you view things. We have these set ideas hun that sometimes get a bit messed up as we are growing up and they form the basis of the behaviour. Changing those set ideas changes the behaviour. I'll be honest i thought it was a load of crap at first but i stuck with it and im so glad i did. CBT really did change things for me.

:hug:
 
really? im willing to give any thing a try. iv never meet my doc before as iv just moved house il feel so silly how would i come out with it? what if he dont no what im on about? should i just explane that im so obbseive and controlling its ruining my life? im expecting him to just put it down to pnd, but i no its not as iv always been this way?

how did you come out with it to your doc?
 
When i went to the doctors i just spoke to him really honestly. It was hard though hun i wont deny that. I told him how angry i got and how obsessive i had become and that i was ruining my life and the life of someone i loved very much because of it and i needed help.

Id seen a program about cognitive behaviour therapy and said to the doctor i thought it sounded like it was worth ago and did we have it available here. There was a waiting list but he put me on it and to be honest just know i was going to get some sort of help made a bit difference Dionne.

Maybe you could use me as your way of opening it to the doctor. Just say i have a friend who had similar problems and she got some really valuable help from having CBT and you would like to try it to see if you can get the same help.

I've found these website for you hun to check it out

http://www.nacbt.org/whatiscbt.htm

http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Book ... nseCBT.htm

http://www.nida.nih.gov/TXManuals/CBT/CBT1.html
 
hun u r gorgous u dont need to worry bout him even looking uv got two kids to look after and yet in every pic u post i know u certainly make me jealous let alone the others
dont worry about it he obv loves u and u obv love him try n relax
 
I can totally relate to what ur saying dionne cos im the same, like melanie said i think with me its cos i had a bad childhood. luckily daniel is heaven sent and i dont think he'd ever cheat, he adores me and josh and sometimes i think he's too good to be true!

But all the things you say about them looking at other girls, I feel the same. When pretty girls come on the telly daniel looks away cos he knows i'll start having a go at him asking if he wants someone who looks like that.

He works in a garage and its all men who work there but when he goes on courses and stuff I always have to ask if theres any women there and if there is i'll worry about whether he's talking to them.

As for going out, he hasnt been out with the lads since I met him! I feel so embarassed admitting that but to be honest thats his choice, ive never stopped him but at the same time I'd hate it if he did.

Sorry for going on a bit but when i read your post it was like reading something about myself, I know its not nice and I think you've got alot of courage to come on here and openly tell everyone how it is and that you want to change.

Hope everything works out for you xx :hug:
 
awwww kirsty :hug: i wouldnt wish it upon my worst enimy. its horrid and i cant change iv tryed so hard but over the past few months its getting worse im out of control and have no control over myself any more. iv got an appointment to see a realtionship consellor next week. dout it will help as all they kept asking was is there any domestic abuse in the realationship which there isnt. i wish i knew what was causing it but i have NO idea i had a great childhood kris is a saint. i am not insecure about my looks im quite confident so i dont no what it is :(
 
i can definitely sympathise. i think that dh is going to leave me for a tart with legs up to her arm pits. boobs in the right place etc. its irrational i know but it is really hard to control.

i dont question him or quiz himabout ladies on tv, though, i havent got to that stage.
 
davina said:
i dont question him or quiz himabout ladies on tv, though, i havent got to that stage.

lol you dont want to get to this stage trust me im like a syco maniac woman im soooooo obsessed its tiring all the worrying i do im knackerd all the time! :roll:

poor Kris he must love me to put up with me
 
aww Dionne of course Kris loves you. Are you going to try the cognitive scheme.
 
Im the same huni, I know Alan would never cheat but if he ever goes out i always give him the 3rd degree, was there any girls there? etc etc etc...luckily he dosnt go out much cause he works shifts and prefers to stay in nowdays, and he only works with guys (engineer) But when he worked in the offices there was female admins etc and if he ever said they had been in to ask him something or other i would get really angry and upset and ask is she pretty? how old is she ?etc etc etc whenevr he was in work i would think he was up to something. even though when i think about it he would never cheat and he is sooo good to me i feel bad.

Once he was going out on a works meal and a girl he had a little thing with ages ago ( then he realised she wasnt even his type) was going too cause she works there but in a different building thank god, and she was going with her new fella who also works there and i went nuts at him..he was scared to tell me in the first place but he never keeps things from me.

I just worked at it and looked inside myself,I have been much better since i have been PG and we got engaged.

But when he went to germany last week i couldnt sleep cause i kept thinking things like that, but i controlled myself and didnt give him the 3rd degree i just looked inside myself and told myself that he would never do anything and it helped alot.

cas xx
 

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