I am a mess

[natashateale]

I found that my OH has been looking at a dating website as far as I can see he hasnt signed up but just looking! I ask hom about it and because of his job ( he works in sales) he was just trying to see how people sell them selves. Almost like research. My OH is extremely good in what he does but I wud like to think his sales talk doesnt get passed me. I know when he is guilty of something and apart of me believes this is what he was doing. Buts its a very strange thing to think about/of when researching.
So now he has just buggered of to work and I am sat here with my pregnancy hormones not knowing how to or what to do with this. Every since I found out we were expecting we keep hitting speed bumps in the road and there is only so much I can take.
Dont really know what I am after from this post but any thoughts wud be appreciated I guess.
U dont have to be kind lol.

 

[BabyBrain]

Just tell him it's bothering you and that there's plenty of other ways to do his research. He hasn't signed up so he could well be telling the truth. Hormones suck big time hun but he has to be aware of how they will make things seem 10 times worse for you xxxxxxxxx

 

[Lou12]

Didn't want to read and run hun, but big to you!!!

As for his researching excuse - it is a strange thing to think of while researching - unless he was researching and saw an advert on TV? The amount of adverts on TV for dating websites at the moment is silly!! And surely if it was something dodgy, he'd have covered his tracks a bit better? After all, it's not difficult to erase your browsing history.

I'm not trying to say he's not guilty - I don't know him, just thoughts really.

But I agree with BabyBrain that you should perhaps confront him again with how much it's bothering you.

Take care xx

 

[frankie247]

I agree that it's a strange thing to do, but on the bright side - he wasn't registered! I'd explain to him how you feel and just get him to explain a bit more why he was doing it - for what purpose was the research - there are other ways to see how people sell themselves, just explain it makes you feel uncomfortable. X

 

[VikkiR]

Men can do funny things when there's a baby on the way. I'd go nuts if I had found this out and to be quite honest, I've been around the block a few times, I'm 41, (and speaking from experience in this matter with a former partner), I don't believe him. Maybe the shock of you finding out is enough for this to stop, or he may start to be more secretive. You def need to talk to him calmly. You are vulnerable and certainly don't need the stress of looking over your shoulder or waiting for a bomb to drop. He didn't have to look at dating profiles to see how people sell themselves, I bet he wasn't looking at men's profiles, there are plenty of professional social networking websites he could have looked at IF his reasons were true. You poor thing, big hugs xx

 

[Jayjay027]

As the others have said, he wasn't registered so he could well have been telling the truth! U just have to trust him.
Tell him, calmly, how it made u feel and that it'd mean a lot to u if he could be understanding about it and not research those particular websites x

 

[natashateale]

Thanks ladies for your thoughts. Normally I can tell when hes done aomething wrong, when I confront him about things if he has done something he is like a child and goes all quiet and looks at me as if to say ' u know it was me and I cant get out of it' ladies with children will know that look lol. But this morning when I spoke to him about it he was quiet for about 30secs while it sunk in that I had found it and then he was actually fighting his corner. ( he never does this when I am right) that is the only thing that makes me believe him and the fact that he didnt sign up
Vikki u make a good point about men profiles but he did say he had looked at men and woman, I never saw whos or what profiles as I was in shock my the search of this dating website and spoke to him about it straight away.
It cud be completely harmless but he cud be lieing and trust while pregnant is an extremely hard thing to do after finding that lol.

 

[CARNAT22]

You mentioned a few weeks / a month back that something bad had happened and you had asked him to leave.

I assume that this is totally unrelated?

I think you have to weigh up the pro's and con's.

Me and my work mate have looked at stupid things at work like "sugar daddy.com" purely out of curiosity!! We used to look on Gumtree where people were looking for sex before they closed that bit of the website down it was hysterical, in fact I told OH about all the Gumtree stuff as it was so funny!! People used to post all sorts of pics and requests LOL!!

The point is there could be an explanation - it depends on whether you accept that or not?

My OH never questioned my looking at Guntree ad's for sex and he know never in a million years is that my thing....

I would suggest speaking to him frankly and honestly and telling him that even looking at these kinds of sites upsets and offends you - whatever the reason and you would like it to stop!

xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[babyem]

I don't have any advice, but didn't want to read and run..

x

 

[Lolly85x]

I think you have to speak to him. And tell him your annoyed. See what his reaction is like.
I have to admit me and my friend went on a free dating website to have a look just for a laugh cause we had been told a girl we knew was on it, making herself sound like a model, so we went on for a laugh but it only let us look a few pages then asked us to register... We never. But it was for a laugh xxx

 

[natashateale]

Carnet yes it is unrelated and this isnt half as bad. As long as it is just research or laughing at people then I can forgive him for it and move on.
Like some women have said they have done it out of curiousity I have sat down and thought about it and the shock has qorn off now lol. I think after abit more taljing to him when he gets home I may find out he is telling the truth. Deep down I believe he is telling the truth but I think I need to make sure.