Having very rough time :(

[Mummy_G]

Hi,

I kinda think I just need to vent more than anything but this is my first pregnancy and I am having a really rough time with it and don't have anyone to talk to.

Im 21, I got married in October to my partner of almost 6 years, and then in January I found out I was pregnant. It was quite a shock for us, we were trying, sort of, but I had been told that I have PCOS so would have trouble conceiving.
When I told hubby I was pregnant he was very shocked and didn't seem all too excited, even though we have been talking about having kids for a while now.
To be honest, he has been a nightmare. My sickness has been awful and I am constantly exhausted, so the thought of washing up, etc sometimes is awful so I leave it till the following day. He just yells at me for this, in all honesty he shouts at me for everything! I thought that after going to the scan and seeing our baby he would calm down and feel a bit better about everything but he hasn't. If I ask him to do something for me he gets arsey and thinks I'm being lazy.
We told our friends and family at the weekend, well I told everyone, he didn't seem to want to, he told his friends by saying 'we have some news, she is fat'
He hasn't announced it on his blackberry messeger, even though he feels the need to talk about every other aspect of his life on it, and I tagged him in a photo of our scan picture on facebook, and he then deactivated his facebook account.

To top it all off I found a valentines card from another woman in his bag yesterday.

I really don't know what to do.

I have wanted this baby for a long time, and I thought he had to, but now I feel like he just isn't bothered about me or the baby.

I really don't know what to do, and as I said I really don't have anyone to talk to.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Sorry for the long rant

 

[Jayjay027]

Have you spoken to him about any of this? Do you know who that mystery woman from the valentines card is? Or why he kept the card?
It sounds to me like he may be having an affair, but you need to sit him down and talk frankly and honestly about how ur feeling and how he is making u feel.

There may be a perfectly innocent reason for this, but u deserve to know the truth!

Good luck, I really hope everything works out for u xx

Sent from my BlackBerry 9800 using Tapatalk

 

[Loula]

So sorry your going through this....
Maybe for him its still sinking in but then the other things you say may implicate an affair.
I think you need to bring up the situation and then decide what the future holds for you both but only married since october and already things a little suspicious doesnt bode well.
Really hope you sort it out or do whats best for you and the baby x

 

[claire671]

I am so sorry to hear you are going through a difficult time. You need to sit him down and talk to him, be assertive and keep control of the conversation, let him know you're feeling awful and need him to support you. The most important thing is to take care of yourself and your baby. Sounds like he really is in denial that you are pregnant and is reacting in a very hurtful way.
I'm sorry I can't give more advice, feel free to message me if you need to chat x

 

[Mummy_G]

I asked him about the card and he said it was from a 'friend' but it didn't seem like something a friend would send.
It was posted and came from Scotland so I'm not worried he is having a physical affair with her but with the not talking about it on facebook or his blackberry messenger, I think he is pretending to be single.

If this were any other time in my life I would be yelling and screaming at him wanting to find out exactly what is going on, but I am trying so hard not to get stressed out for my baby.

Its just so infuriating, why can't men be honest like women are?

 

[mrz85]

sorry ur going through this but u need 2 find out whats going on X

 

[claire671]

You are right to keep yourself calm, but god do men drive us crazy! But still talk to him about how you're feeling physically. I'm not working at the moment and my husband heads off to work this morning shouting "Give the house a tidy today" while I am starfished out in bed, can barely raise my head as I feel so awful. Yeah I'd love to get hoover out!xx

 

[Bee7]

Really sorry to hear you're going through this hun, it sounds awful

As the other ladies have said, i think you definitely need to speak to him openly and honestly and explain how you feel. Tell him that his attitude, the card etc all point to an affair and you need him to be honest about it. You need and deserve to have support around you at the moment and he doesn't sound like he's giving you any at all. Is there any way you could go stay with family or something until you straighten things out? If you go away for a little while it might also make him realise you won't put up with his shitty attitude and he may try harder.

A lot of blokes don't particularly get excited about pregnancy, but once baby arrives of course he'll love it. But that doesn't excuse his lack of support and blatant nastiness to you now. Stick up for yourself, stand your ground and make provisions for you and your baby.

Really hope you manage to sort things out, feel free to PM me if you need to chat xxx

 

[Water_Melon]

Hugs!
You must be so stressed out. He's being very irresponsible by the sounds of things. Even if he isn't having an affair, he should be more understanding as to why you're so shattered all of the time.
Maybe he's the sort of person where you need to just come out with it "do you want to be with me or not?"

I hope everything works out okay for you! Good luck x

 

[Mummy_G]

Thanks for all your comments guys.

He is in the army and is going away to Cyprus on Saturday for three months so I think I'll just tell him how I'm feeling and ask if he wants me here when he gets back.

I think the space may be all we need while he is gone but I'm not sure.

Thanks everyone

 

[rosey]

Sounds like he is being very horrible to you and causing you alot
Of stress! If I were you I would get rid after the things he has said and the way he has acted, do you want your child brought up in that environment?
Do you have any family you can speak to or a friend? We are all here if you need us

 

[EmmaN27]

Sorry to hear you are going through this, the time away might make him realise just how lucky he is to have a wife and baby on the way. Hope your talk with him goes well before he leaves so you can don't feel like you are in limbo. x