How old?

[Elfs Mummy]

I know hu but she's obvs not listening to you soi think u need to say to her that its not just the one its the whole package and she can either like it or lump it but in a nice way of course as shed probs turn it all round xx

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[Jayceesmumma]

I've said he knew I had kids when he was with and and knew what he was taking on we are a family.. That's when I got the 'happy family' message with the 'they aren't my grandchildren'
He's just got in he didn't even bother going to his mums he went to the pub.. Nice. He said she said 'I only want to be a nan' and that pissed me off so much I just handed him lily (he's only had one beer) and went to the shop.
I'm so angry.. He's like 'it's her first grandchild' I know that! Doesn't mean she can automatically take her from my vagina!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Grrrrr!!!!!!!!!

 

[JJ Mum]

I voted 12-18 mths, as stopped BF at 12 mths and so he was never out of my sight for much for that year.
But that's supposing I got on with MIL and I knew she would stick to my guidlines or my routene.

OH's Mum lves in scotland, and frankly she is on another planet, she left her son when he was 14 to run of with her husbands best mate from army and move to scotland from england, cashing in his baby kiddy savings account funds to do so - we do see her once a year or so, breifly, and she did pop into our wedding, so she has never had or will have any of my kids without me!!! so tough on her, but it does mean I get no MIL issues !!! yayy

 

[Belfast girl]

Yes all the grandparents are brill for us. They are going to look after Emma for a day a week once I go back to work so she only has to go into nursery 3 days. Plus I like seeing the bond that she has with both sets so I don't have a problem leaving with her with them.

I do know that I am one of the lucky ones!

 

[ISH]

0-3, she's had 3 of her own and is ridiculously competent.

 

[vickib_1984]

I've stated out of this as much as I can and from your other posts yes she's a nightmare regarding the feeding etc.........however my mil is like a mum to me she's even better than my own as she can't stand the sight of me, she told me on my 24th birthday that she only had me because she didn't believe in abortion!!???!!! :-0 I trust my mil and my sil totally but would be reluctant to let them take my baby for a long time as I would feel to anxious about it......my mil has has 3 kids herself so knows what she's doing and respects anything I say regarding routine feeding etc.........your mil needs to respect that but I can't see why she can't have lily for a few hours maybe??? Providing she has the older 2 as well and go to a park or something give you and Scott a few hours together and then bring lily back when she's due a feed????? But set clear rules that if she breaks then then she won't be trusted with them on her own???? Xxx

 

[Sarah13]

Only reason I would wait until Kynon is nearer a year is because he don't know them and only met them once as they live the other end of the country plus the breast feeding thing. I would let him stay with them a few hours if we were visiting and we wanted a night out but not over night until he's quite a bit older.

 

[Jayceesmumma]

For starters im bf and can't express.. This is why she's been pushing me to give her formula since birth.. And she's declared that my kids aren't her grandchildren and only wants to see lily on her own.. I don't agree with that at all..
Plus my own mum didn't take my girls out at this age it's something I'm not personally comfortable with..

God what a horrid thing to say on ur birthday!! I'm glad ur mil is there for you hun!!

There can be some lovely mils I've just never met one lol! My exs mum never asked for the kids on her own (until now being a spiteful bitch) and never accused me of not letting her be a nan.. I've done the same this time as I done with my first.. My ex mil never complained at all!! It seems like she just wants her son and granddaughter and noone else.. She's like one of those mums u see on Jeremy Kyle that are so against the girlfriend coz she don't wanna lose him! Childish!

 

[Jayceesmumma]

OH and I have hardly spoke all night. Lily won't settle coz I'm stressed out.. Got a long night ahead of me

 

[vickib_1984]

Oh no don't get me wrong my mil can still be a nightmare and me and her have had words before lol she knows when not to push me and that's that lol well I think your mil should stop being a baby if that's how you feel regarding your baby then she should respect that, and I didn't mean express I ment her bring lily back to you when she's due a feed so you could feed her xxx

 

[Lulabell]

Voted 9-12 months. I trust my mil. But I don't think I would want anyone to have Joshua for the whole day. This brings to mind a convo I had with someone. We talked about family taking our LOs on holiday without us. I wouldn't be happy until LO was at least 10 to 12 yrs old. Maybe that makes me over protective but I just would hate the idea of my child being in a foreign country without me.xx

 

[Heulyn]

I can't vote on my phone, but if my MIL lived closer (she's in Belfast, we're in Wales) then I'd have given her the same opportunity as my Mum, to have LO from 3months.

MIL has had 5 kiddies of her own, and a whole bunch of grandkids, so there's no reason why she couldn't look after Linzie on her own

Also, I know this is about MIL, but just had to add that I leave Linz with my Mum one night every week, and we both do better for having a break!

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[hopefulmummy]

I am extremely close to my mum - she's my best friend, I never feel guilty about her taking the baby in the early hours, cleaning my house, etc etc. she puts him
Down for a nap when he's tired and is
Close enough to me to make decisions without feeling the need to ask me every minute. My mil would e so worried about doing something wrong shed tiptoe around. Which is sweet in some ways but makes it a lt more stressful as well.

Lulu, i totally agree with you about allowing grandparents time. My hubby's and my parents live 15 mins away from
Each other. This means that whenever I pop
Home without hubby during te week to see my parents I always make an effort to take the baby round to theirs So that they get to see him. I'm still breastfeeding And am fuming for you, jayceesmum, that she is bullying you to give up for
Purely selfish reasons - you are giving the best to her grandkid and she wants you to stop!?

 

[charliebear]

I dont have a MIL

Anyhoo, I have never left AJ with any of OH's sisters for more than a few minutes.

In fact AJ is 3 and its not often that he spends time with anyone other than immediate family, me, OH and his sister. My mum has had him a couple of time and she now picks him up from nursery once a week and takes him for a few hrs. My sister is taking him for the first time ever! He's having a sleep over for his cousins birthday in a couple of weeks. I'm so nervous, he's only ever stayed away from home once, when he stayed with his sister. x

Oh I voted 2+

 

[Piglet's Mama]

MIL - never. And my husband would agree to this too. She's a fucking nutcase and I don't want my child around her. Grandparent or not, I don't give a monkeys. She treats her own son like crap and has zero respect for me as Brooke's Mother so as far as I'm concerned she can keep her distance.

My Mum is brill though and will look after Brooke as & when I need for an hour here and there and has babysat the one night Al & I have been out.

I think grandparents can be incredibly selfish. They say they should spend time etc but very small babies shouldn't be away from their mothers (in my opinion) it's lovely for grandparents to visit but there was no way I could leave Brooke when she was so small. Even now, I have no intention of leaving her with anyone. She's my baby, my choices, my decisions x

 

[LoopyLouize]

Id trust my mil right now to be honest. I live with her at the moment as we are currently in the process of moving houses, we only get the keys tomorrow so for these 2 weeks I couldn't thank the mil enough. She hasn't overdone it nor had she ignored us, she had said that if I need help dont be afraid to ask and the only reason she isn't fussing loads over Harlow is that she doesn't want to upset me. Bless x

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Thanks for sharing your experiences
I wouldn't be able to let my kids go on a plane without me til about that age too and I'd still be wary!!

Hate the fact he hasn't had his own opinion and just goes along with whatever

 

[Piglet's Mama]

For starters im bf and can't express.. This is why she's been pushing me to give her formula since birth.. And she's declared that my kids aren't her grandchildren and only wants to see lily on her own.. I don't agree with that at all..
Plus my own mum didn't take my girls out at this age it's something I'm not personally comfortable with..

God what a horrid thing to say on ur birthday!! I'm glad ur mil is there for you hun!!

There can be some lovely mils I've just never met one lol! My exs mum never asked for the kids on her own (until now being a spiteful bitch) and never accused me of not letting her be a nan.. I've done the same this time as I done with my first.. My ex mil never complained at all!! It seems like she just wants her son and granddaughter and noone else.. She's like one of those mums u see on Jeremy Kyle that are so against the girlfriend coz she don't wanna lose him! Childish!

I'm sorry, but this is a classic example of a grandparent being incredibly selfish - what sane person tells a mother to stop breastfeeding her child? I'm sorry but I wouldn't want that kind of person around my baby. Stand your ground hun, tell her to piss off x

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Thank you!! OH keeps saying we are both being pathetic.. Wtf have I done?? It's hurtful!!!

 

[Bunnykins]

I'm incredibly lucky that my mil is great, she supports bf'ing, baby led weaning etc all the things we want for our child, so I trust her with my baby, she knows when to step in and help and when to back off and leave us be, so I have no qualms with her taking lo for 10-1 every Friday so she gets quality time with him and I get to do my housework and have a bath and generally get my sanity back!! My mum is funny about bf which I've mentioned before, but cos my mum is round the corner me and lo visit her together and I don't leave him but if she offered to take him I'd let her but he's such a constant wriggler and so strong he hurts her back so she doesn't like having him without me there!!!

I think your situation is different and if I had your mil I would defo not let her have lo on her own, I'd make her come to me or say we all go out together, I'd never give up bf just so someone could spend time with lo I can't believe she think that!! I'm lucky I can express but if I couldn't then I'd not leave lo with anyone until he was weaned off me.