How much does your OH help with LO?

[Roo3]

Now I feel like a complete cow.

LO has been cranky all day and I'm knackered so broke down in tears when OH got home so he is taking LO off me all evening (apart from bathtime) so I can have a break. I didn't even have to ask!!!

 

[titch]

my OH works mon-fri so doesnt get home til 6pm ish. He takes over once hes home, gives LO bath and bed routine, entertains him so I can get on with cooking if Ive had a bad afternoon. On weekends we have 1 day each to lie in. Usually I get up saturday and him sunday. Generally we take equal responsibility for LO, but I tend ot do the organising, laundry, packing his back for childminder, just cos its easier if one person does that, so things dont get muddled.

I have 2 days off in the week so Im in charge of housework even though I find it hard to get it done now im back in work.

 

[titch]

OMG Im just reading back how many men wont change a nappy! WTF?! If LO does a poo OH just deals with it. whoever smells it deals with it. I suppose I had to lean on him from the start cos I wasnt well, so the nurses in the hospital taught OH how to change the first nappy anyway.

I dont see why you guys have to ask the father to change a nappy? Its not your nappy he's changing, hes doing his child a favour not you!

 

[xxbeckyxx]

Now I feel like a complete cow.

LO has been cranky all day and I'm knackered so broke down in tears when OH got home so he is taking LO off me all evening (apart from bathtime) so I can have a break. I didn't even have to ask!!!

No, you didn't have to ask, BUT you did have to break down in tears?!? Wrong way round honey, you need to sit down and have a good conversation with him. Write down bullet points of how you feel and ask to discuss them with him without it turning into an argument. For every bullet point you make, make sure you reiterate that you understand how hard he is working for you and LO so he doesn't get defensive, and if it looks like it's going to lead to an argument then stop the conversation and try again another time.

Hope you had a nice break though

 

[Marianne]

I think they see it as, your the mum so you have to change it, its unreal and so aggravating!!! i have had many arguements with my partner about all of this, and told him i need help with everything, he always said ok i'll help .... he done some bottles and done a night time watch .... fkn some help! its unbelieveable! and he wonders how im never in the mood for sex and cant be arsed with him a lot of the time .....

i mean hes 30 this year ... and has two other daughters with his ex .... he hould fuckin know whats expected of him !! it drives me insane!!

 

[Roo3]

Now I feel like a complete cow.

LO has been cranky all day and I'm knackered so broke down in tears when OH got home so he is taking LO off me all evening (apart from bathtime) so I can have a break. I didn't even have to ask!!!

No, you didn't have to ask, BUT you did have to break down in tears?!? Wrong way round honey, you need to sit down and have a good conversation with him. Write down bullet points of how you feel and ask to discuss them with him without it turning into an argument. For every bullet point you make, make sure you reiterate that you understand how hard he is working for you and LO so he doesn't get defensive, and if it looks like it's going to lead to an argument then stop the conversation and try again another time.

Hope you had a nice break though

We did have a chat earlier and I told him how tough I was finding it especially because he has so much to do in the evenings so he can't help me much. He did say he understood, but becuase he's so busy with work it's not going to change anytime soon. He's self employed so the fact he's busy is good moneywise.
I did say I need him to take LO for the evening at least once a week so I can have a break. Hopefully it'll happen!
OH goes away at the end of August for 10 days so I'll see if my Dad or MIL can take LO for a few hours a couple of times whilst he's away so I can get some time to myself too.

 

[titch]

that must be very hard. What time does LO go to bed? Now is the age to get a bedtime routine established. My LOs asleep by 7.30 and stays all evening so that's my time off and our time as a couple. I'm really glad we did it, it keeps us sane!

 

[Roo3]

I'm trying to get LO into a routine now. I start his routine off at 7.45 at the mo and he's normally asleep in his crib by 9pm. I'm going to bring that forward by 15 minutes every week until LO is in bed by 7-7.30pm. The good thing is that since about 3 weeks LO has been able to get himself off to sleep when put down awake so hopefully that'll make it easy to bring his bedtime forward. I'm just worried about what times he'll wake up if he goes to bed earlier cos at the moment he normally sleeps until 4 or 5am which is lovely.

 

[Cantstop]

You're already doing really well with the routine, far better than what we've got in place. And deffo get anyone who you can trust to take LO for a few hours now and then - when my hubby is at work and I'm on my own for a few days I get my nana to come and take Lily for an hour or so just so I can get stuff done that I can't otherwise (also she enjoys it of course). If they'll enjoy it, don't just get them on board to help out when your OH is away, make it more a regular thing if you can!

Glad your OH took Jake for a bit - a little break makes all the difference.