How much does your OH do in the night?

[LucyBee]

I agree with you about the single mothers. I'm in awe too.

Ali was BRILLIANT when Tom was little and, to be honest, I don't know how I would've got through it without him.

When you have PND it makes this especially hard.

Ali used to often let me go sleep in the spare room whilst he looked after Tom for the night.

Maybe you could chat to your OH more about how you're feeling and help him to understand that a night's sleep can really help the PND and get you on top of things.

Lx

 

[poppy160]

Alot! Ella sleeps through, if she does happen to wake in the night I never wake up, I don't even know most of the time if he's got up to do it! He feeds her just before he goes to work aswell and she will sleep in till about half nine. On weekends I try to do the morning feeds

 

[littlepip]

I'm a single mumma so ive done every single night feed on my own since he was born, It was really fun because i was recovering from a section to so i was crying everytime i was getting out of bed from pain! As you can tell ryans dad is VERY helpful.... Yeh right!!

 

[jayla's mummy]

well jay sleeps the whole night through, but he talks so bloody loud on the xbox live that she wakes up sometimes. and he has the cheek to tell me to put her back to sleep when he wwas the one who woke her up. even when i do put her back to sleep his still talking.aaarrrggggghhhhh. his doing it now

 

[Sage]

my oh will get up in the night if i ask and he does offer but sometimes its really not worth it. I always hear kyran as soon as he stirs so normally just get straight up and feed him. My oh says to me some nights wake me up and i'll feed him. so when he does wake i'll just say to oh "ky's awake" he'll grumple ok. wait 5 mins while ky whinges. "he's still awake" not wanting to nag then i get a sharp OK!! another 5mins "want me to do it?" with which i normally get a kevin and perry performance of "ooooh god you always nag me i'll do it in my own time without you nagging me!" as he stubbles out the room with a face like thunder. i get an appology in the morning, alls forgotten i cant be arsed to argue with him but sometimes i do wonder who the child is and if its worth going all through that, lol i should just stick to doing it myself!

 

[Misslarue]

Being honest my OH gets up more than I do. I'm a really deep sleeper, whereas he is a very light one so he normally hears Dan first. For the first 6 months I would wake instantly but as we have got used to Dan, I have gone back to sleeping deep!
My OH usually gets up on a Sat and lets me have a lie in. He's pretty good really. I really should be nicer to him!

 

[CoreysMummy]

Since hes been back at work, he does NO night feeds at all during the week, and VERY rarely at the weekend. He dosent hear Corey (or atleast he pretends that he dosent lol), he does tell me to wake him up and tell him to do the 5am feed and he will. I havent tried this yet, as its not worth the ear ache and moaning the following day about how knacard he is.

Hes at work all day, im at home trying to keep the house, do the shopping etc, and listen to LO crying 90% of the day. He swans home, to a cooked dinner, plays with Corey for a bit if im lucky, then I put him to bed.

 

[Happybunny]

There isn't much my OH can do in the middle of the night as I am BF'ing. I do wake him to reswaddle April. (She relies on swaddle for long sleep and I am crap at swaddling - she gets her arms out in three minutes!!) However, it takes him a few minutes and then her drops back off to sleep within seconds, where as I am awake for an hour or so every three hours. Yes, my dearest also moans about being tired, lol!!!

I can't whinge too much though - he is great in the evenings when he gets in from work. He will either make dinner and bring drinks if I am feeding etc or he will entertain her whilst I cook. He often watches the baby too if I am particularly tired and need a wee nap.

 

[Suzie and Faith]

I'm very lucky as Matt will help out whenever I ask and he will make sure I get rest if I need it.

What gets me is that even if he offers to do the night feed it takes him so long to wake up that i've gotten fed up of hearing her cry and have picked her up and started getting her bottle. I then often poke him and just hand her to him. But even then if I lay down to sleep whilst he feeds her he tends to ask things. Like 'can you pass that muslin' or 'shall i change her nappy' or 'hat time is it' so i never feel like i've gotten a rest as i'm generally awake for most of the feed.

He also has an annoying habit of sitting at the end of my side of the bed so i can't stretch my feet out.

But he is good with Fi and he does as I ask!

I also think that bay duty when OH's are back from work should be 50/50 because otherwise we're working 24/7!

And I also think it might be nice to go out to work for a rest!

 

[charlie84]

If Calleigh ever wakes in the nights OH wouldnt hear her He sleeps through any night awakenings.
Plus to be honest he would be no use other than to pass me Calleigh as i am breastfeeding.
When he goes to work of a morning he will pop her into bed with me if she is awake, save me moving

Just wish he would get the hint on a weekend to get her up and dressed but no i end up doing it while he has a lie in
I have totally forgot what a lie in feels like i bet it would be bliss

 

[xHeatherx]

My OH does nothing basically. He has sat up with her once while I went to bed, he's got up to her once in the middle of the night. Some mornings he will take her downstairs if she has woken about 7ish, but only if he is up already.

I wish he would do more but it's like talking to a brick wall.

 

[abcd1234]

the first night i was home Dave sat up and watched her sleep for ages cos she was restless and i was so paranoid about her waking up and me being too tired to hear her.

Now if he ever stays around he does nothing, he'll change her during the day but night times are mine, tbh i know theres no point in him being up too, all i do is change her then lie down with a boobie out until she falls asleep and thats usually only once night,she slept through last night though.

it does bug me that he lies there asleep and snoring whilst i'm up, it'd be nice to have the company whilst i'm up, but i'm gonna try expressing soon.

As of monday i'm on my own totally but i like it, i like the fact only i look after her

 

[Geordie&Bairn]

As you know James works away so i am sort of a single Mam half the time
But when James is home he is wonderful i breast feed so do most of the feeding but at the start when i was in pain and still recovering from Colliers birth he would wake when Collier cried out in the night for a fed and get up and give him a top up formula.
He didnt wake me bless my lovely man
He also helps out with burping him after ive fed Collier so he is part of the feeding and bonds with his son

He helps me so much as im looking afte Collier he is doing the dishes, the washing, vaccuming, cooking the dinner

And he loves to play with Collier he sits hom on his laps and makes silly faces cute noises and gives him hugs and kisses hes such a loving Daddy.

He also dose his fair share of the nappy changes and dose not turn away from the big yucky poo ones he finds colliers loud bottom popping poos quite amusing

And when i need a brake i was so tired the other day when collier woke up early and wouldnt go back to sleep ( after feeding in the morning i stay up James has a lay in) he sent me back top bed got up and stayed with him

He's wonderful 8)

 

[Sage]

What gets me is that even if he offers to do the night feed it takes him so long to wake up that i've gotten fed up of hearing her cry and have picked her up and started getting her bottle. I then often poke him and just hand her to him.

haha if you'd of lived in wales id be worried we're sharing a man! my OH is EXACTLY the same. he does offer but i dont bother waking him up its just quicker if i do it. what annoys me is if i wake him up to feed him i cant sleep until after hes finished then oh normally falls back asleep before me!

another thing that annoys me is he'll be watching the telly or playing on the computer and ky will start whining and all i can hear is OH doing massive sighs and tutting about him making a noise, uh...PICK HIM UP!

lol and i rarely ask him to dress ky coz he has absolutely no colour coordination at all! and he always manages to put vests on back to front!

 

[MattM]

I probably don't do enough. I'm such a deep sleeper even though I do 'try' to sleep lighter; it just doesn't happen. I do hear Luke cry often though and will get up to see if he needs soothing back to sleep or winding.

It's difficult with him being breastfed. At times, I've spent a while with him and he's gone back to sleep but only to wake up 20 minutes later hungry. Often Debbie will just ask for him so she can feed him. It's the 'curse' of the breast fed baby, really. Especially when he can wake hungry every two or three hours.

A while ago we did try using a bottle of expressed milk to give Debbie a break in the night. This didn't last too long as Luke is not used to waiting for his booby and screams loudly in protest while I'm downstairs heating the bottle. By the time it's ready, Luke is hoarse from screaming. Debbie is wide-awake and could have fed him herself twice.

I don't know why men-folk are so immune to their screaming child. I always thought I'd have some magical ability to wake from the deepest sleep on the merest whimper but it isn't always the case! For me, it's not about being lazy or not wanting to help out, promise! I'm just such a deep sleeper. Debbie has joked in the past (pre-Luke) that I go into a coma at night.

I do try and do as much as I can for the household though. I often get Debbie breakfast and do the washing up / vacuuming on a daily basis as well as change the bed, etc. I'm proper domesticated. I also offer to talk Luke for walks, etc but Debbie hates being parted from him. It's an effort to persuade her to take a soak in the bath to try and relax for a short while.

 

[valentine]

Matt - you sound lovely, can I clone you?

Valentine Xxx

 

[charlie84]

Matt - you sound lovely, can I clone you?

Valentine Xxx

Me Too

I think we all could do with a MattM around the house

 

[Miss.Monroe]

Matt - you sound lovely, can I clone you?

Valentine Xxx

Me Too

I think we all could do with a MattM around the house

i was just thinking the same! id love a domesticated OH!

 

[DebbieM]

I am open to offers for him!

 

[Magic Monkey]

Having read all these posts I promise I will never moan about my OH again! When I first had LO, I really struggled with the pain from my stitches so OH did all the night feeds while he was on paternity leave. Once he went back to work, I used to go to bed really early (8ish!) and he used to keep her downstairs in the moses basket until her last feed, then get her to sleep and bring her up. I then did the rest of the feeds. Now she pretty much sleeps through, I do the early morning feed during the week and he does it at weekends as he goes straight back to sleep afterwards, but I never can!

He slept in the spare room after he put her to bed, until about 3 weeks ago, which actually meant we both slept better. I used to worry so much about her waking him up that I would get up and get her up everytime she stirred!