How much does your OH do?

[Lulu_Laroo]

I love him to bits and he does do a lot for me, but I'm starting to get a bit annoyed with the fact that OH thinks that because he goes to work, he doesn't have to do anything around the house. He does help out at weekends, but I can tell it's begrudgingly!

Do you girls think that because your OH works all day, that he doesn't have to do anything at home? I'm not sure what's reasonable or not? It's hardly like I sit at home on my arse all day. Having a baby is hard work, and I'm finding keeping on top of the housework really tough. My house currently looks like a bomb has hit it, and I'm not feeling very well today so I just don't have the energy to tackle it. Poppy is a very good baby, so I have that on my side. She's not demanding at all and only cries when hungry, but I don't like to just plonk her in her chair whilst I spend all day cleaning, I like to spend time interacting with her etc. There's also all her bottles that need to be washed and sterilised every couple of hours, feeding her every three hours, nappy changes, pretty much a full load of laundry every second day. I'm not super woman!

I don't want to sound like a moany old cow, I'm extremely grateful for everything I have in my life, I just wish he would help a little more in the evenings. I'm not asking for much, just him washing-up after I've cooked and served him his dinner would be a big help. I know if I just ask him to do it he probably will, but not without a big sigh and lots of "But I've been at work all day" 's later!

Am I totally unreasonable just to ask him to do a couple of simple things at the end of the day like wash-up and/or maybe hang some washing to dry?

How do you ladies go about it, do you even share any housework at all?

 

[LuW]

I don't think your being unreasonable at all!!

I'm really lucky when L's home - I'm not sure if it's just autopilot with him or whether it's because he knows I'm usually sore by like 3 and don't want to move. He doesn't clean the way I do when I'm able to but he'll like swop the washing over or do the ironing (THANK YOU BRITISH ARMY!! LOLL) and does the pots after tea, but thats like an agreement- I make it, he cleans it! I'm really lucky in that sence, but like most of the time, he isn't home and I'm either not allowed to know where he is or not allowed to know what he's doing. And tbh- Sometimes, when he can tell me, I'd rather not know.

One weekend day could you leave him with a list of things to do and Poppy to look after while you go out for a girly day out somewhere then he'll get an idea of what you do every day?? XXX

 

[clairebear22]

My OH doesn't really do any housework but thats the way I like it! He goes to work Mon-Friday, often doing 12hr days and while he's work I potter about doing washing & light housework i.e loading the dishwasher or cleaning the bathroom/downstairs loo etc while playing/caring for Jack. When OH comes home he has a shower as soon as he gets in and then has Jack while I tackle the bigger jobs like ironing/hoovering etc. On a Sunday they have Jack & Daddy time while I clean the whole house from top to bottom. I enjoy making the house tidy & cooking all the meals (including batch cooking for Jack now he's weaning ) and he never does it how I like it anyway lol. If I ask him to fix anything around the house or hang a picture in a room etc he happily does it without any fuss!

However i'm having keyhole surgery to remove my gall bladder on Friday and he'll be looking after me & Jack for a few days while I recover! The only thing he won't be touching is the ironing becuase I don't trust him not to burn anything lol x

 

[knopk@]

I do some housework but not a loy as A is a hard work. He can feed non-stop for a long time. My DH cooks me dinner when he comes home and either he will do tidy up or me when he plays with A.

But we have a cleaner once a fortnight who irons his shirts as well so thats helping certainly.

 

[ft90]

My OH has been a godsend since Caleb came along! He works offshore but made sure he's home for the first month, so he's around the house all day every day.

He's been doing all the nappy changes, I've changed about 10 in 3 weeks! Im breast feeding but having to give LO bottles as well because he's so hungry all the time, so I'm mostly in charge of feeding.

The only downside is that OH keeps making comments that I'm not doing much! I'm up the whole time he's up in the night and I do all the feeding. I still have some pain from my c-section, but I'm trying to do as much as possible! And when he goes away in about 2 weeks I'll be on my own with LO for 6 weeks, so i'm just trying to take it easy while I can!

Not sure what's worse, having someone to moan about or being moaned at haha!

xx

 

[Yodabo]

Mine has his lazy days but he will help if I ask him. Every night for the last week he has bathed Drake. He'll do his bottles every night, will tidy up if it's messy here but that's it. He won't do any cleaning (maybe wipe down the sofas) but he doesn't do it properly anyways. I don't mind doing it if he takes the kids off my hands for me to do it! Its a nightmare trying to clean right now with a crawling baby!

 

[Amyrose]

My oh is amazing he does so much for me I love him to pieces

 

[Princess81]

Mine is great outside but crap inside. Hopefully he'll be hands-on with the baby though

 

[Roo3]

Mine give LO his last bottle before bed and plays with him whilst I cook the tea. He hoovered today but only cos I asked him to. Other than that he doesn't do anything.

 

[Minchin]

Our LO is now nearly 14 months and I bf til 6 months, up until that point OH would do dreamfeed of EBM at 10 ish. we take turns to cook and wash up, he tends to cook more than me as likes it more. everything else is pretty much 50/50. these days I tend to do more cleaning and cooking if I can while at home with LO. but since February I have worked 2 or 3 days a week and OH has compressed his hours so he haS LO on one of the days I;m at work. He'll often cook stuff for freezer, clean bathroom, hoover, wash the floors, do washing etc without being asked He's a good un

 

[Amy_J]

not alot whatsoever! i do all the cooking and cleaning, and basically everything related to LO. starting to piss me off now tbh, i feel as tho i may as well be a single parent at times. he does do some early morning and breakfasts, but i cant remember the last time he bathed lo, or gave him dinner! i got up late at weekend and lo was still in pjs! *sigh*

 

[Piglet's Mama]

Al is pretty good, he cooks most nights after work and gives Brooke her bath before bed. I save up all my housework for Weds afternoons in the week as my Mum comes round, then I do another cleansweep when Al is home at the weekend.
Does Luke spend alot of time with Poppy on his own? Al has Brooke on his own for a couple of hours on a Sat morning so I get a teeny lie in and he now says he can appreciate how hard it is looking after her - I think this makes him want to do more around the house to help out xx

 

[LuciaLeek]

Just realised how lucky I am! My DH cooks, cleans, looks after little one etc. I do all the mid week chores like washing, cleaning the kitchen etc (apart from the bins - that's his job) but at the weekend we both do a major clean. He is in charge of emptying bins, hoovering, polishing and mopping while I do the kitchen and bathrooms - oh yeah, he does the shopping too
He is full on with our LO and bottle feeds her my expressed milk every time he can. He also changes nappies, baths her and generally entertains her.
He's always been great like this - I have his Mum to thank for that as she always made him help around the house when he was young. In this day and age though, I'm surprised that so many men are getting away with doing bugger all! Lulu - you are definitely not being a moany cow - It's all about team work! xx

 

[Lulu_Laroo]

Al is pretty good, he cooks most nights after work and gives Brooke her bath before bed. I save up all my housework for Weds afternoons in the week as my Mum comes round, then I do another cleansweep when Al is home at the weekend.
Does Luke spend alot of time with Poppy on his own? Al has Brooke on his own for a couple of hours on a Sat morning so I get a teeny lie in and he now says he can appreciate how hard it is looking after her - I think this makes him want to do more around the house to help out xx

Thinking about it, he is never really with Poppy on his own as such. He'll take her round to his mum's whilst I'm at home, but then I guess his mum takes over when he's there. He'll look after her whilst I have a bath or something but that's what, an hour tops?
We agreed at the beginning that at weekends he would do the night feeds, but she doesn't have night feeds anymore so he got out of that one!

Thanks for all your replies girls, maybe I'll sit and have a chat with him just so we can share the housework just a little bit! I don't expect him to blitz the place every day from top to bottom, just help out a little.
I don't like to whinge about him, as he really is good, always buys me presents etc and he sometimes cooks at weekends. He doesn't go out and get drunk at weekends (not a big drinker at all) so I don't have all that sort of thing to worry about with him. He is very good to me in other ways.

And LuW - that's a good idea, think I'll be suggesting that! x