How much does your OH do in the night?

[debecca]

I only ask because I seem to do it all around here on the premise that OH has to work each day. I have done every single night feed and middle of the night feed (bar about 5) since Connie was born and he takes over at 7am to do the morning feed before work - then wakes me at 8.30am. The one time I was struggling badly with lack of sleep and PND he did the night and middle of the night - and he REALLY whinged about how tired he was the next day

Because Connie has been so difficult with this wind, she never sleeps during the day either so I'm basically getting more and more tired.

How much does your OH do if you have one? If you don't I'm completely in awe of you - I have so much respect for single mothers now

 

[fothers]

Mine does absolutely nothing during the night and still has the cheek to moan about being tired.

We have just had an 8w spell where she woke hourly during the night and he could have slept in the spare room but chose not to. I almost ripped his head off a couple of times he moaned about tiredness

 

[LaineyG]

If my ex ever stayed over he did NOTHING. Even on the nights he said "I'll do the feeds" he never woke up when Mhairi woke.

The only time I've ever had a true break is when Mhairi stays at her other Gran's. But even then I usually waken thinking I can hear her! Or I wake at 6 am and can't get back to sleep even though I don't have to pick Mhairi up until the afternoon!

xxx

 

[xkikix]

Your lucky your OH does the first morning feed!

Since a week ago I did all the night feeds since birth, DH probably did one feed a week on the weekend and thats it! However I decided Chester is both our responsibility and he has to help out more with the night feed, so he does saturday nights and its bliss! He does help out with other things tho, he does all the sterilising, preparing feeds etc.

He is getting better cus I really dont want DH to miss any of this precious time and I think alot of it is my fault cus looking back I think I may have "hogged" the baby a bit.

 

[maybebaby]

When DS was tiny I did all the night feeds because I was breastfeeding and it was easier. When I went back to swim teaching on a Saturday morning when DS a few months old he did used to get up with one bottle of EBM on a Friday night, but it was too precious to use too much while I was around and could do the feeds, so I had to get up if he woke more than once (which he did EVERY night!).

Once we started giving formula he was a bit better but I still got up a LOT more than him. We stopped giving him milk in the night when he was about 9 months and OH got a bit better as he didn't have to make up a bottle anymore... but I still get up a lot more than him!

 

[laracomps]

Our lives really do sound similar!!

Tob does the 11 o clock feed a lot, but I am up with them anyway, so it only acts as a bonding experience for them both.

Sometimes he'll do the middle of the night feed at the weekends, but lately has been telling me he needs a lie in... LIE IN?! I don't know the meaning of the word.

Other than that, its all up to muggins here. And Phoebe as you know also doesn't sleep much during the day - even though we have sorted her wind, she is such a nosey alert baby. On Tuesday she was awake from 10.30am until about 6pm. Mum couldn't believe it. Welcome to my world mum....

The thought of having more than 4-5 hours sleep at a time is a dream. Imagine a full nights sleep with a lie in, going to bed at 10pm and waking up at noon droooooooool

Oh and we constantly have the argument that he is more tired than me. GRRR and he has to be 'alert' at work, and you don't looking after a baby?! You know, a whole person?!! I have to laugh or else I'd cry lol

 

[shadow]

Ok I think I must be really lucky! When LO was first born my OH would do his turn in the nights, except when he was up at say 5/6am for work (he starts work different times each day). If he had say a week of all earlies, he would then do a weekend all nighter so I could have a rest. Dont get me wrong some weeks he would be on earlies all the time, and I'd be up 3 or 4 times a night, and exhausted in the morning, but he'd always tell me to ask my mam, or his mam to come over so I could have a sleep.

Now he's working much later, 7.30/8.00am we take it in turns, but luckily our LO sleeps through the night now and wakes about 7.00 so I'll get up and do that feed and make OH sandwiches for work at the same time!

But my OH is fab with doing stuff, he loves looking after LO, anf does his fair share.

 

[loz]

Ha, my OH has never helped in the night with feeds or properly given a bottle at anytime of day!

He spent the 1st 6 weeks in the spare room and now sleeps through mostly even when Emms is a bit wingy. He also says that he needs to sleep to be alert at work (excuses excuses).

TBH it is less stressful doing it myself. He just doesnt have the patience or perseverence at the moment to feed Emms a bottle of expressed milk. I have to ask him to do the odd nappy change, otherwise he'd happily let me do everything! He calls me the mother and housewife now!!!

 

[*Star*]

My OH has been great with oliver.
when i was breastfeeding he went down to sleep in his crib. when he woke oh got him out and brought him to me.

when he moved onto formula mark still got up and got the bottles ready for him.

im sure that's not what you wanted to know but i basically almost pleaded with him to get up and help me. eventualy he agreed and then never looked back!!

i hope it carries on with this baby too!

 

[Sherlock]

OK so my Bloke does his fair share Made a bit more tricky for him as I am BF'ing. I realise how lucky I am as not every OH does this much.

I did struggle the first 2 weeks doing pretty much all of it at night myself but eventually with health woes etc it just got too much and I only slept about 2 hours, if that a night. So OH decided to step in and do his bit. When Galen was more or less living on my boob and if not was wanting to bed cuddled I would feed Galen around 10pm ish and then head to bed. OH would then take him off into his study and do some work while cuddling Galen or having him right next to him in his moses basket. He worked in a low light and it was just the click of his keyboard keys. He'd keep Galen calm and content. He would then wake me when Galen woke and needed feeding. He would usually change his nappy before bringing him in. I'd then feed and hand Galen back and go back to sleep. OH would come to bed around 3-4am and I'd then let him sleep till about 10am next day in return. He would do this on any day he didn't need to be up and out the door early.

Now Galen is more settled and I tried expressing (and more or less decided to stick to boob only) he still does his share. He'll do the before bed feed if I express and I can go get a few hours in before Galen wakes for his middle of night feed. I always wake OH to wind Galen and put him back into his cot at this feed otherwise he won't settle. Same again if he wakes before 6am for a feed.

Also if I am struggling with him in the night he'll do the nappy change or take Galen into the bed with him while I go crash next door for the last couple of hours.

He never complains if I wake him in the night and while I try hard to not disturb him, if I have to I know I can. He is able to go back to sleep in a nanosecond so doing something like winding and then popping Galen into his cot takes him 15 minutes and he then crashes again. Those 15 minutes give me the chance to settle and start nodding off.

He works full time Mon-Fri and while some days he is tired he says we have a new baby and that takes its toll on both parents so he doesn't mind being tired sometimes when at work. He says it will get better after the first few months and he wants to help as much as possible so does what he can.

If he is home during the day and I've had a crappy night with Galen he will also then take him for a few hours so I can nap.

He does loads more also but then he has had to tbh as some days I just could not manage if he didn't. Thankfully my health woes are slowly improving so its meaning I can do more. But OH wants to do as much as he can so continues to do so I cannot complain and he seems to be very happy doing his bit.

 

[LisaJ1986]

He does nothing. But it is my fault. Coz i'm BF i always did the 1st few weeks. Then i decided to express for him to help. But it's a struggle getting him up. But i find by the time i've gone down stairs, sorted and warmed a bottle and got over the initial fight with a bottle, i'll have BF, burped and put her back to bed.
I just prefer to feed her myself.

 

[Emma58]

My OH does knack all during the night.

During the first week after Sam was born he let me go to bed and stayed up with him until he fell asleep but, since then nothing.

I get the same remark when I mention it to him and that's that he has to be up early for work and I can stay in bed if i want too WTF like sam understands the concept of a lie in.

It really annoys me when he can't even do just one night for instance a Saturday when he doesn't have to be up for work the next morning just to give me a break.

It has only been when my Mum had him a few weeks ago that I got a break from it and managed to get a decent nights sleep.

He makes out to other people though that Sam keeps him awake at night which is a load of rubbish, whenever I get up to feed Sam in the night he is fast asleep and doesn't even hear him. Then he'll wake up in the morning and think Sam has slept through the whole night.

TBH i am getting really fed up with feeling like Sam is my responsibilty and he just gets the good bits.

 

[Becky]

I am so lucky to have my OH as he volunteered to do nappy changes through the night even though he was working full time. He said that the baby was my full time job so it wasn't fair for me to do nappies/feeds all day and night.

So our arrangement was that if she needed a feed (I bf) then I would do it but if she needed her nappy changed, he would do it.

Now obviously it wasn't set in stone and there were times where I would do the nappy either because I was already awake or she'd just been fed or whatever.

And all that from a OH who loves his sleep and is normally very grumpy if he doesn't get his uninterrupted 8 hours!


I hope I don't offend but I think its unfair of anyone's OH to suggest they need the sleep more because they're going to work. You are looking after a little baby 24 hours and you can't take a coffee break or lunch break when you want, you have to fit your breaks in around the baby's needs and newborn babies are very demanding!

My opinion is that you made this baby together therefor you should share the care together.

 

[Emma58]

I hope I don't offend but I think its unfair of anyone's OH to suggest they need the sleep more because they're going to work. You are looking after a little baby 24 hours and you can't take a coffee break or lunch break when you want, you have to fit your breaks in around the baby's needs and newborn babies are very demanding!

My opinion is that you made this baby together therefor you should share the care together.

My thoughts exactly.

Now can you please tell that to my OH

 

[lisa&alex]

als really good.. he usually puts charlotte to bed, gets teds nappies makes his night bottles..i put him to bed and if he wakes we share who goes up.. i would say he does more than me in the night tbh.. hes fab..some nights he makes tea to.. god im really luck..

 

[Marijana FC]

Mine was really good while I was expressing: I would express in the night and he would awake feeding the baby. But then he started snoring really badly and was demoted to the sofa. Plus he sleeps through Danica's crying and seeing him blisfully asleep in bed while I struggle to settle her really annoyes me

But he gets up at 6am to play with Danica until 7.30-8, while a have a catch up nap . And that's why I miss his lots when he is away with work; it has nothing to do with missing the nap - honestly!

 

[kalia]

OH does most of it and I'm the one who complains about being tired
Gabrielle is on expressed breastmilk and it takes a lot of time to feed her, change her and express. So OH feeds and changes at night and I express.
We're still in the routine from when I was pregnant - he does all the cooking, washing up, clothes washing, brings me snacks and cups of tea..... I'm no longer in crippling pain but I still leave him to do all this
I look after her all day but she's really good and sleeps lots so that's no big deal.

 

[Squiglet]

Mine does absolutely nothing during the night and still has the cheek to moan about being tired.

mine too... mind I booby feed. He's offered to...but I won't let him as he has to go to work... also its a pain to express and lil miss loves mummy too much for any of this fake booby stuff from anyone but me... so night feeds are hard

 

[debecca]

Hmm seems a lot of us are in the same boat

A few of you have mentioned the fact your OHs don't stir when baby cries - mine's like this too, so by the time he HAS woken up to do the bottle I'm wide awake anyway. Must be a caring mummy thing...

Thanks for all your responses.

(Hasten to add btw that he does make the tea in the evening quite often so I can't complain too much - but the other day he asked me to move Connie's evening feed back to 4pm so I could make tea I nearly wet myself laughing)...

 

[lfc_sarah]

Callum is quite good at sleeping so we dont really have night feeds as such...
Im breastfeeding but express my milk aswel so other people can help.

My OH works 12 hour long shifts
He feeds him before we go to bed when he gets in at about half 11pm/12
And i get up with him in the morning, 7am when Lees in work that day

If hes off though, he'll do it so i can sleep