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Controlled crying help

Sophie woke three times last night and all times I went to her and fed her, I'm responding to her needs. I'm sure she would rather stay with me than go to nursery, so is sending her to nursery cruel too, because I sure can't respond to her needs then??

I will have a look out for soon calming lighting of some sort and omit the bath from bedtime routine tonight and see if it helps her settle.

Again, I appreciate all advice given on my situation.

Did she go back down easier after the feeds?

Hopefully the various comments in between will be removed & your thread will remain

Yes she did go back down after her feeds, it's just the first settle that is taking ages, will try without the bath and a longer time relaxing with books and calming music to see if I can relax her a bit more first :)

Tiny steps then but progress! just try small adjustments so you don't upset first settle further
 
Hi Karen thought I'd give you my experience given I won't be lynched for it, we found it quite a struggle getting him asleep from around.. 6/7 months on. I was extremely reluctant to do any sort of CC, but just before he hit 1, we were running out of methods to get him asleep, as we tried everything, patting, singing, lying with him, rocking, feeding to sleep etc would work for a few weeks and suddenly, he wouldn't settle doing it and would just cry as soon as we moved him to the cot if he would wake. sometimes it could take upto 3 hours to get him asleep.

I decided his lack of sleep (give or take sleep regressions) and mine, was nearly at my breaking point and I'd just cry every night, and he was tired most days, limiting his naps was getting more difficult, and he was quite late for crawling etc, so alot of the time wearing him out was difficult. we decided to ease into "self soothing" rather than CC, so we got him a slumber buddy toy which is just a little projector and music, and continued his routine of bath, massage, bottle, dummy and then cot with slumber buddy. the first few nights he did a 'moaning' sort of cry more than a bawling, I'm sure you know the difference between your daughter's whingey type cry and a proper hunger cry! and I would go in and put his dummy back in, maybe pat his back, but I refused to pick him up. We found he was watching the projector and music. Forgot to mention, by the time he could roll he would sleep on his stomach/side, at first we would move him to his back as we were concerned about the risk of SIDS, but he would roll on his front anyway.

My point in that rambling was, sometimes he still has bad nights and I have to walk up and down the hall with all 25 lbs of him, but his initial protests etc, has not affected his bond with either me, or his father. He's a very well-balanced 14 month old, (aside from his actual walking balance lol) and I wish we had instilled the set routine of bath, massage, feed, bed WITH use of the slumber buddy/projector earlier. He now settles without crying at all, and is usually asleep within 5 mins. We usually only go in to remove dummy and place a warm blanket over him once hes fast asleep. I wish we'd have tried the whole routine with a projector whilst he was abit younger, it wouldve saved us a massive deal of tears and tantrums!
 
:lol: Oh, and for the record, when he's tired, he cries because Peppa Pig has gone to the end credits, so I consider the fact he doesn't whinge at all at bedtime a thumbs up for projectors and soothing toys etc :lol:
 
Although I don't think CC is for me just wanted to say I hope it works out for you! We all have the right to decide what's best for us and our own kids without being vilified for it. I hope you can get some sleep soon x
 
Although I don't think CC is for me just wanted to say I hope it works out for you! We all have the right to decide what's best for us and our own kids without being vilified for it. I hope you can get some sleep soon x

Thanks, I have exhausted other methods of getting her sleeping, she just loves boobie too much!! When she's settled she's normally fine but taking hours (usually 2) to get her to that point. Normally starts with quite a strong cry but then lessens. If she's obviously hungry, of course I go feed her :) I'm no monster hehe xx
 
Oh no :( I really feel for you! There really is nothing worse than broken sleep! with isaac I used a book [edited by admin as per the forum rules], I didn't follow it to the letter but I took out bits and followed it as much as I could, it really helped me get my LO into a brill routine, (feeding, naps and sleeping through) it is in sections so you find the section that most relates to your little one and start with that routine, it also has Q & As in it for problem solving! Maybe Google it and see if it might be of any help to you! I had it recommended to me by so many people and it's been a life saver! xxx
 
I just wrote this long reply about a book I used and it hasn't posted? Are you not allowed to promote books?? xxx
 
My LO doesn't sleep through, he does wake several times in the night but he talks to himself and then he must drift back off to sleep! [edited by admin as per the forum rules].
 
I'm not so fussed about sleeping through, it's being in her cot that's important and being able to settle without boob!
 
Hi,
Cc might work for some babies and not others. I think it's trial and error on what will work best for your lo. I read somewhere that if they don't improve within a week then it's not for them. My lo was in and out of her cot for the first year and she gradually did it on her own. Try not to worry to much you will get there 😊 X
 
Aww hun, wish there was a magic fix :( keep at it or try different methods of CC, hopefully something will work for you and baby! it's all trial and error! It's not going to be forever, keep reminding yourself of that lol xxx
 
Hi Karen will she take expressed milk in a bottle? It would you consider some formula at night and also have you started weaning? I'm just wondering if filling her up more at bed time then trying a dream feed with a bottle would help? Maybe she needs to disassociate waking in the night with mummy's boobs coming in and daddy can go in with a bottle instead?

You might have some baby massage classes near you - I took Alex to them and then used to massage him every night after his bath and think that helped his night time routine too x
 
We are introducing a bottle of formula a day but so far she hasn't taken bottle, I've tried various teats etc. Once she's settled she doesn't seem to need me then all night, it's just the first bit.
 
My son never took a bottle, we went straight to sippy cups first for water then for expressed milk. X
 
This is night 7 and it's no better, hasn't improved over the week so thinking it's just not working?? It's so frustrating as she's brilliant when finally stopped crying but two hours of crying every night is not an option long term!! I really thought it would work. I just can't go back to co sleeping, it's too painful and I got NO sleep. Staying with her by cot didn't work- tried it. I am at such a loss as to what to do!! (Crying as I type).
 
Sorry if you've already spoken about this but is she weaned? If she isn't on 3 solid meals a day you may find it a little tricky to make this work at this stage. Does she fall asleep on you whilst feeding? If so, does she stay asleep when you put her in the cot?x
 
When my little girl was 2/3 months it used to take hours to settle her to bed. She now goes to bed on her own, awake and just goes to sleep (and we both know our girls were born on the same day, so exact same age). I'm just trying to say that I would stick it out a bit longer - within the realms of what you are comfortable with. It took prob close to a month for my daughter to go to bed and and self settle. We put her in her own cot in her own room from quite early on so went through the pain a while ago. I remember so many nights of us persevering with settling her wondering if she would ever do it. And then just one night it got easier, then easier. And now she's totally amazing at self settling. We didn't do cc or anything, was just rocking to sleep (which in itself was hard work as she obv woke the second you stopped rocking or put her down!). But stick to a routine and be consistent with it and Sophie will slowly but surely get used to it. You might find next week it's 1hr 30 to settle. Then week after an hour. Any progress should demonstrate its working. Plus the fact that once she's settled she's sleeping the whole (if not most the) night shows she isn't being traumatised by it all - she's just being stubborn at going to bed.

Hope it gets easier xx
 
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