Controlled crying help

[Wobbles]

FAB to see the continued trolling/flaming was ignored, thank you ladies.

Have removed the problem (the BS ).
x

 

[iWitch]

Has she gone off yet?

 

[Starlight1986]

Karen does she have a dummy or a toy as a wee soother, or could you introduce something like that? Just throwing out ideas. Controlled crying worked very quickly for my 2 but they were good sleepers to start with, formula fed and both had a dummy so don't know if I'm much use to you lol. Here for support though x

 

[Karenb]

Have tried a dummy a few times but she won't have it unfortunately. She finally went off but woke a few times in the night, not screaming but a whingey cry. The first five nights I didn't hear a peep all night so we're going backwards!!

 

[mrs_b_x]

I know you said before that it might be worth reviewing her bedtime routine? What do u currently do?

My son has a dummy and a comforter which never leave his cot and I think it was probably around that age that the comforter really came into its own. Because he only has it at bed/nap time the association is so strong, you can say to him 'do u want to go and see Mike (the monkey) and he says yes, then when u hand it to him he starts to rub it on his face and starts to fall asleep before we even lay him down! Maybe take her shopping to choose something and give it a name that's easy to say? My LO also had one of those slumber buddies at that age and it was amazing

 

[Pumpkin9]

Hi Karen, sorry I haven't back read so you'll have to excuse if this has already been suggested all you've tried it but have you tried laying down with her till she falls asleep and then transferring her into her cot?

We did this with my little boy when he went through a stage of not self settling in his cot, and although not a long term solution it did solve the problem for awhile as it meant he went to sleep a lot quicker. We have a single bed in his room so I used to lay on that with him and sing to him. Might be worth a go.

Longer term we did let him cry for abit but that was 5 minutes of him being upset and then he would go to sleep and now he self settles in his own bed fine.

Hi, yes I've tried staying with her, but it makes her worse as she just wants to be on boob the whole time then! And I've never been able to move her when asleep as her eyes pop open and she's fully awake!!! My family find her fascinating how she has never slept much in the day and can wake up so suddenly as if she'd never been asleep!

Ah ok, I was bottle feeding by this point so can see where that's going to make a difference. Good luck Hun.

My sister in law has he some issue with her little girl although she didn't co-sleep, but she kept waking herself up every hour by flapping her arms etc. Anyway after about 2 weeks of problems (including 3 teeth emerging!) she did a 7 hour sleep and settled on her own so it will happen at some point!!

 

[Colleen1988]

Karen... Sorry to change the subject but can you explain to me the process of going from first tastes to 3 meals a day? How did you do it?? I'm starting first tastes in 2 week but I totally don't get what im doing at all lol xxx

 

[caseysmummy11]

Colleen you start by just giving baby a couple of spoonfuls for first taste ( that's what I did) then once I could see she wanted more than that I introduced a meal at a time. I started with lunch as lily wouldn't eat breakfast she still would rather a bottle first thing now but I'm not a morning eater myself so maybe she's the same. Then once she got used to that I introduced tea then added breakfast when she got used to 2 meals but altered it to be around 9- 10am as from what I mentioned above. I think cow and gate have a good step by step weaning guideline starting with first tastes they send you a little pack through the post.

Karen sorry it's not going too well at the moment. Have you tried a different dummy? I only ask as lily's super fussy with dummies I've tried various brands and the only ones she will use are tommee tippee closer to nature, my son would have any you gave him. She's not overly keen on a dummy but she will take it when tired or poorly. We've had a few bad nights with lily over the past couple of weeks due to teeth she had 2 come through and I also found she was waking up at 2-3 starving so I've started offering her more milk more often, I know Sophie is bf so may not be the issue for you xxx

 

[Colleen1988]

Thanks hun, I'll start a new thread as I don't want to keep asking questions unrelated to CC xxx
Ps hope you had a better night Karen xxx

 

[Aimee84]

Hiya my lg struggles to self settle when she's over tired but we got the tomy star projector which has music and projects a moving image on the ceiling. I've found it distracts her enough to relax off to sleep. Also she didn't like being dressed after bathtime but she knows it's her last bottle and can't be doing it being 'manhandled' but I've found getting her dressed in front of a mirror and singing nursery rhymes help. Think we have entered the nine month sleep regression tho as she wakes frequently in the night to moan then goes bk to sleep before I get into her room. Good luck xx

 

[babyscotcher]

Also Karen what time do you put her to bed? We have found that when lo is too tired it often takes him longer to settle. We have learnt his cues now to get him to bed before he gets to that stage. X

 

[Karenb]

I put her down at seven. She definitely shows signs of tiredness- rubbing eyes. It may be related to naps, she's awful at sleeping in the day too so over tired is very likely... She only naps in the car or pushchair so I try these things but can't be driving round all the time?! She'll just nap when we go out anyway. She used to nap after a breastfeed but has stopped that. I have a hippo that projects stars and has music and is lovely, she's not too fussed by it. I will try a comforter of some sort... Thanks for advice xx Coleen message me if you still have questions about weaning xx

 

[JD.Deedee]

There's research for and against every decision! How much research is there saying breast milk is best for babies, but most formula feed?? And I would never ever judge or put down those who do because every baby and situation is different and there and pros and cons to every decision!! We should respect the decisions mothers make for their own children.

This annoys me tho, it doesn't matter what you feed your LO. It's accepting the plain fact that breast milk has health benefits opposed to formula.. Because it's tailored to the babies needs and so on and thus better.. I ended up formula feeding but I never stopped acknowledging that breast is best and I very much regret not knowing more and seeking support. But the research does support breast is best, that's a plain fact nobody can go round.. Back to the original subject.

Like i've said try the Jo frost method... I'm sure you can read more about it on her website in little bits related to the subject.
Perhaps you can find something that if it does not work now, it might work in say two months time.. You might coincidentally have a tooth bothering or a leap starting days after you started this so it might look like you're going back.

http://www.jofrost.com/controlled-timed-crying-technique-ctct/

I've heard loads of people rave about Ewan the dreamsheep too.. I never got round to buying it but loads of people seemed to say it helped them at the time! And a mattress cover that's meant to help them sleep better.. But I'm talking a good year and a half to two back...

Good luck.

 

[Karenb]

Yup got Ewan too!! Honestly, feel like I'm just replying to advice saying 'done that' 'done that' because I do feel I've tried everything which is why I'm feeling so desperate!

 

[Pumpkin9]

Yup got Ewan too!! Honestly, feel like I'm just replying to advice saying 'done that' 'done that' because I do feel I've tried everything which is why I'm feeling so desperate!

Don't worry Hun, we're all just offering up suggestions to try and help, no one minds if you say you've already tried it (although I'm sure you do purely because you want something to work!!)

The only thing you can do is keep trying.

My little boy has only just started to show an attachment to soft comforters and toys at 22 months old. They have been in his cot since I believed it was safe to have them in there and they've been next to his cot since he started sleeping in it!!

I'm fortunate that he has a dummy so that is his comfort - although it's going to cause problems when I stop giving it to him and also was a nightmare at 6 months when he kept spitting it out and then couldn't find it.

 

[JD.Deedee]

I introduced a pillow at 8 months old because I had a vomiter.. Although he was used to having a pillow whilst napping on the settee (by 7-8 months he learned how to proper slide off the settee without hurting himself) that did make him sleep a lot better but that was because he was finally elevated in a way that worked for him.. He still cuddled up to me earlier in the morning or for a bottle but I took the side off and slid the bed next to ours so I could pop him back in whenever..(he hated sides too, we tried again to self settle when we put it against the wall he threw up all over) but now he will fall asleep in his bed and not mess about by getting out! We have one of them big box spring beds so our bed was technically a side and he just climbed into our bed for a feed or comfort and I could pop him back in.. I still am pained from co-sleeping on my right hand side and having him in my right arm.. (we have a hard mattress on top of that )

I'd like to think sometimes it takes a leap for it to slot into place and suddenly it will happen!
I do very much regret waiting over 2 years and three months to get a massage as it took an hour just to loosen up my neck and shoulders! For us there were too many factors why he wouldn't self settle and therefore cc just wasn't even optional and just get hysterical in his own bed but we found ways to make it easier, side off, pillow, letting him stay up til later so we'd get some sleep during our sleep hours but mainly him being sick from anything and everything was a recipe for plenty to just fail! Some children drop naps earlier than others too, especially when the parent decides to implement naps rather than letting baby choose when to do whatever and I did the last one..

Maybe trying to keep little one awake for the last nap before bed might result in a more restful sleep (it does to us when he sleeps through over having a late nap). My youngest nephew is 19 month younger than my son and he doesn't have the throwing up problems and he sleeps a lot better, sil is quite strict to following a routine setting times for his bottles, his meals and his naps when he was younger he ended up with her in bed a couple of times following some teeth or leaps but she's always been persistent to get him back in bed. I'll ask her how she got him to sleep back in his own bed and whether that could've been around 6 months!

Remember only more and more things will slot into place from this age onwards, you're not going back you're going forward. You're little one is whiney crying not being hysterical, I'd take that as a positive not a negative because hysterical crying would be more of an indicator that it would not be working or it's likely like with us to never work..

 

[Karenb]

Thanks for that info, she does cry quite hysterically at first now... For a while!! That's the hard bit!

 

[tiggy85]

Hiya.

I've not posted for a while but I've just had to go down the route of CC. Like you I had tried everything and nothing was working, he was waking every 45 mins and staying awake for an hour each time .....don't know how we were all surviving!

Anyway first time we tried controlled crying he was 7.5months and I still fed him twice in the night, it kind of worked within a week and was waking a few times a night just to be fed then would go back down for a few hours, I was happy with that but then in the second week he started being more and more persistent particularly at times when I knew he wasn't hungry as he had just been fed. And then he got worse with waking 10-12 times a night,
Health visitor advised me to cut out the two nights feeds. I was hesitant as I was worried I would be hungry. Anyway on doing the CC properly second time (8.5 months) with no night feeds on night 3 he slept through and he has been pretty good since. He is now actually feeding better in the daytime too and goes down with minimal fuss and always within 5 mins.
Are you still night feeding? Health visitor says it can send confusing messages about what night time is about and then they can wake at the end of sleep cycles (45 mins) wondering if it's time to be fed!

Also helpful was making day and nighttime very different and decide on what time morning is and go into her room with smily face, lights on and bright voice (opposite to any night wakings).

Good luck with it. It can be stressful but it is worth it!

 

[Karenb]

Thanks for that post, very helpful. The first 5 nights she didn't wake for feed but the last two she has... So maybe I shouldn't feed her?? Unless of course it's like 6am when she's likely to be genuinely hungry? How long did he cry for when first put down? And how did you settle him on the checks?? There may be something small
I'm doing wrong... Maybe she wants it to be completely dark as in our bedroom that's how it was?? Guess it's trial and error but very upsetting while its not working well!! Xx

 

[Rooster30]

Sorry your thread went a bit bonkers. I did CC with my son under the guidance of my HV. At 8/9 months old he was still being rocked to sleep. It took about a week to work but once it did it was amazing. Funnily enough my PND started to disappear after we successfully did CC.

All the very best of luck and I hope your baby settles soon