Controlled crying help

[Goat]

Hi Karen, I've done cc with both my girls now and I've found if I start when they are in one of those Wonder Week 'leaps' then they can cry for ages. Do you know if your lo is in one? Otherwise I found that the first 2-3 weeks were when they either went to sleep quickly or put up a fight, once I got through those, they were pretty good at going down and sleeping either all night or most of it.
I think it was you I was discussing the pick up/ put down method with my youngest? I did that at 7 months because like you we were co-sleeping and it just wasn't working anymore as she woke every 45 mins. If that hadn't worked I would've gone to cc then too.
Both girls certainly let it be known if they need or want me still though so the theory which says that they just shut down because they're ignored doesn't apply to us....unfortunately... kidding of course
I did do loads of research on cc as I'd also read about the negative side of it that Baby2sky has mentioned, it's all very interesting but I don't really rate the sample study used in many of the research papers and just couldn't see how it applied to well taken care of and loved babies. I am happy I looked into the flip side of cc as it's made me more confident in my decision to do it and I now don't get upset when anyone tells me I'm 'cruel' or anything so I wouldn't be so hard on baby2sky for questioning it.x

 

[Jojo84]

Baby2sky just because you don't agree it doesn't mean you can judge someone. You bring your kids up any way you like but she asked for help and support.

I did cc and my boy didn't "give up" at all and if need be I will do it with this one too. Maybe you should just stop trying to shove your opinions down other people's throats and let people bring their kids up any way they like. My uv supported our version of cc, and it worked for us.

karren, make sure you ignore her - she's just looking for attention.

 

[El1en]

It was my oh who wanted us to do CC he could see I was getting very little sleep and neither was baby. I remember the first night getting upset and when she stopped crying after 20 mins I wailed to my oh "it's because she's given up on life" he just laughed at me and sure enough she was happy as Larry in the morning. A few people have been shocked when I've told them I've done it but I'm happy with my choice. There's that much hate about it online that you could easily be put off but, for me atleastt it was nothing like what I'd read

 

[Baby2sky]

So jojo why did it work? Why was your baby crying? Surely its (as someone said) because they "want" you. So why do they stop crying? Because they stop wanting you? No, because they realise that you're not coming. They've given up on the hope that they will be comforted, which I personally think is really fucking sad for a tiny baby (I actually would think it horrible even for my 3 year old tbh) . And I will state my (informed) opinion as like I said before, its not just the op reading this. I haven't been rude or abusive like a few of the pro cc posters have been.

 

[El1en]

No baby2sky your just being incredibly unhelpful and unsupportive

And when you add your opinion when it's unwanted and you've been asked not to give it then yes that is rude

 

[Baby2sky]

Both my children don't really see bath times as calming activities either, have you tried a massage as part of the bed routine? My son hates getting dressed but loves being massaged with lavender oil. We just kinda unbutton his sleepsuit so hes not fully getting dressed and that helps. Also we tried the sensory lights too with my daughter as she was afraid of the dark and they helped massively.

 

[Baby2sky]

If thats "rude" then so be it. I wonder what you think of all the name calling? Oh, but you agree with all those people so they're not being "rude" or having a bullying, pack mentality... I think RM put it perfectly in her post tbh. This is a forum and generates opinions and advice which is not just for the op, but for all the guests reading too.

But if that's how you feel about opinions, then fine... Please refrain from butting in with your opinion on my advice in future. Thanks!

 

[T84]

And another one crawls out of the woodwork too!

This and calling people stalkers for disagreeing with you = rude! I would let it go now cos your embarrassing yourself again and showing your true colours. Take your negative comments to your own thread! Also notice your changing your tune now and actually offering help. Would have been perfect at the start!

So glad you had a better night Karen, long may it continue - you'll get there! Like I say, us mums need our sleep!

 

[Jojo84]

So jojo why did it work? Why was your baby crying? Surely its (as someone said) because they "want" you. So why do they stop crying? Because they stop wanting you? No, because they realise that you're not coming. They've given up on the hope that they will be comforted, which I personally think is really fucking sad for a tiny baby (I actually would think it horrible even for my 3 year old tbh) . And I will state my (informed) opinion as like I said before, its not just the op reading this. I haven't been rude or abusive like a few of the pro cc posters have been.

Your issue is that you're a very narrow minded and nasty person.

You cannot support people or see other points of view, you just think you are always right, well you're bloody not. I'm getting sick of your holier than Thau attitude.

My son is a very well adjusted and very happy little boy, I didn't just leave him to scream it out - I went in and let him know I was there and in time he realised I was there I just wasn't with him.

Now why don't you step off your high horse and go and mind your own business elsewhere - if I want an opinion on how to be a nasty piece of work I know just who to come to!

 

[Baby2sky]

I think youll find i was only defending myself AFTER the group of you all started on my opinion again.

ETA. The post you quoted? Was me responding to a nasty post. But you wont see iwitch post as nasty as shes part of your clique.isn't she? Its actually funny you would quote that and say its rude!

And I haven't "changed my tune" at all lol. Karen asked for advice on the bedtime routine and I gave it lol?

 

[Baby2sky]

And thanks jojo for proving my point about you rude offensive bullies.

 

[mrs_b_x]

Did anyone watch strictly last night?

 

[Jojo84]

Oh sweetie, you're just paranoid and really not worth my time. You replied negatively for no reason other than to be nasty and judgemental about a subject when you should've just kept your nose out. You are a very rude person and proving my point about being nasty.

Also about that whole "clique" thing? - you don't know me or who I am
friends with and its not bullying, it's stating the facts. You're rude and judgemental. You only commented to be negative and superior. You do it a hell of a lot.

 

[iWitch]

Glad you had a slightly better night Karen! I can't remember if it's been suggested but have you tried the old wearing a Muslin to make it smell like you & leaving that with her for the first settle?

Ignore the negative comments, I'm sure the choice you made to do CC was after you read up on it. Even from such a young age, babies are clever & will pick up how you react to their various cries. If she's settling better after the night feed then she's obviously realising she doesn't need you to be there throughout the night

 

[Mummybexee]

hey someone mention clique?

 

[Baby2sky]

See, you say im not worth your time yet you insist on responding with insults time after time lol! And I'm not just talking about this post. Its funny how youre trying to deny youre all a gang when you KNOW you are lol. But again, you're another of those toxic people who always need to be right and have the last word so here, you can have it hun!

 

[iWitch]

Oh sweetie, you're just paranoid and really not worth my time. You replied negatively for no reason other than to be nasty and judgemental about a subject when you should've just kept your nose out. You are a very rude person and proving my point about being nasty.

Also about that whole "clique" thing? - you don't know me or who I am
friends with and its not bullying, it's stating the facts. You're rude and judgemental. You only commented to be negative and superior. You do it a hell of a lot.

I'd leave it if I were you otherwise the OP's thread will wind up getting closed down when it will be a good place for her to come to for support whilst she's going through this. Just ignore the negativity that the OP didn't want & hopefully people will post their views against CC in a thread where someone is yet to make their choice

 

[Becky1]

Baby2sky - your posts are rude and extremely unhelpful. You can't accuse my of being a 'stalker' either as I don't believe I have really ever commented on any of your posts.

Can I ask are you the perfect parent? I'm assuming that in light of your criticism you do everything by the book? Breastfed/feeding to 2 years as recommended by the WHO (remember breast is best) and I would hope you never considered weaning a day before 6mths?

 

[Mummybexee]

Nope get this! She formula fed

 

[Jojo84]

lol