Writing a letter to my OH

[Mummybexee]

Give him time to think. You've made your feelings clear. He needs to understand his. Space is key.

 

[Dotty_woman]

Thanks everyone. I'm going nuts! Will take your advice and sit it out though. I don't want to be the one to make the next move. I was very upset last night and went for a drive to the bottle bank at 110pm to take my frustration out on some beer bottles. Went straight to bed when I got home. xxx

 

[H16]

Bless you hun, hopefully like the others have said he is just taking time to think things through before he responds as it is a big decision to make if he is unsure. Keep us posted xx

 

[T84]

Oh god I couldn't stand the wait either!! I'm terrible with things like this and would have to say something like 'did you read my letter?' And leave it open to response, even if it's a yeah I'm thinking on it. How are you managing to avoid the situation?

 

[Mrs M]

If it were my hubby I'd be waiting another 3 weeks for him just to read it, then another few weeks for a response! Lol! Hope you get the answers that you want x

 

[Mackmummy]

I get the waiting is awful! Bless you! But he could have just turned round straight away and said no and binned the letter, that's got to be a bit of a good sign, he must be thinking about it. Fingers crossed that it all works out regardless of the outcome Hun xx

 

[Dotty_woman]

I think he's writing a letter back. I found something on the computer. I don't think it's a yes or even a maybe. I'll leave him to finish it in his own time. It took a couple of drafts for me so I need to let him do the same. xxx

 

[Mum2Many]

Good luck hun. I hope he comes around or at least is open to discussion. Whether you planned children before getting married or not is irrelevant - it's not fair for him to outright say no without a decent explanation and a bit of conversation. Everything in marriage should be a bit of give and take - why should he get the final decision on your childbearing without even a proper conversation and due consideration given.

I truly hope his response is a good one, or at least includes a decent reason for his answer if not.

 

[Dotty_woman]

Ok it's been 4 days. I'm starting to crack.

 

[Mummybexee]

Maybe approach him now before you crack and regret something you'll say or how you will approach him

 

[Mrbump83]

Ohhhh my days, you are sooooo much more patient than me!!! I wouldn't have lasted a day! X

 

[JJ Mum]

Dotty, i know youve tweeked it since I heard you'd given it to him, but having now read the basic first draft it 's a good letter, and you got some good feedback here.

Just wanted to say this about life changing really -
Having been totally in your shoes after devon i understand exactly where your coming from.
I had an unplanned baby before marriage, infact we went on to have three before marriage, you can try to discuss family, you can even have plans set in stone, but life evolves, nobody knows how they will feel after birth about more children nor how they will feel when life gets easier again, financial situations change , and at 41 myself now the bodyclock and a few more years make a huge difference to our thinking on things, for both husbsnd and wife, nothing is ever set in stone..

My last son was born for me, and for my 4 year old to grow up with, my husband did not want more children, but he gave me the biggest gift he could ever have given, and for that myself and my little Roman will love him forever. And now Roman is here my husband loves him and will do forever, we can't omagine our family unit without him.

I am hoping and praying that with some more pondering time your husband will at the least open communications more on this so you can work througth this together xx

 

[Emily0505]

I waited a while before asking hubby for an answer as he said he would give it serious thought.

Perhaps rather than pressure him for an answer just ask if he read the letter and would like some time to mull things over?

Just some form of acknowledgement from him that he's thinking about things would help you feel better.

XX

 

[Dotty_woman]

Well, I got handed a letter tonight. It is quite clear that he does not want any more children and to try to persue this any further would be a folly. Looks like it's over for me but at least I tried. Feeling a bit empty but know where I stand now. Time to try to move on. Many thanks to everyone for all your support. xxx

 

[Mackmummy]

Oh dotty I'm so sorry it wasn't what you wanted, but like you say, you know you tried and at least you now have some closure. Hope you're ok xxxx

 

[Dotty_woman]

At least he didn't wait until Saturday. Decided to sleep on the sofa so I can get upset without the Spanish Inqiuisition xxx

 

[SunnySue]

Argh Dotty, i'm so sorry that it's not better news. I hate to think of you so upset hun big hugs x

 

[T84]

So sorry dotty! I don't know how, but hopefully you can move on and be content in your life as it is. You don't want it creating a wedge between you and hubby

 

[Emily0505]

Oh hun, I'm sorry it's a no from hubby.

It must be tearing you apart, but as others have said, don't allow this to drive a wedge between you and your hubby.



XX

 

[H16]

I'm sorry it wasn't the news you were hoping for but at least he took the time to think it over and respond this time rather than his previous flat out no responses. I hope you are ok *big hugs* x