Why would you NOT breastfeed?

[jills10uk]

Scout, you could have started something brilliant here This could be a "unite bottle and breast" thread and we could all become lovers and live happily ever after on a hill somewhere with beautiful babies and big ol' boobies (and bottles )

x

Id just like to add it REALLY does not matter I think the hapiness of both the child AND the mother are equally important and not alot of ppl realise you have to remake the choices all over again when weening the nippers onto solids as to what to feed them so its a whole other ball game.

i so agree - after the initial week of pain, then getting thrush then having to go on a course of very strong antibiotics that affected my baby, coupled with the extreme tiredness of a very demanding booby baby im beginning to wonder whether it is more imp for me to struggle through or be a happier mummy with some sleep

 

[Suzie and Faith]

Sharne - I was like that at the London meet - but I actually went away happy that i had made the right choice for me and bubs. Glad the Bluewater meet helped you I love giving bottles and i don't feel bad about it at all! How are you finding those new ones you got?

I didn't reply when I first read this thread but i am glad it's turned into a nicer one! We all choose what is best for us and our LOs and so none of us should ever be judged for our choices xxxx

 

[Redshoes]

Cannot stop myself having a say
Formula and Bottles are fine for Goodness sake, its about time Mummy's started to get real and support Mummy's, not judge how good a Mummy they are because of what they feed their babies Women can be such b!tches

 

[mummykay]

i agree with redshoes, long as baby has full tummy it doesnt matter whether its from a boob or bottle

i personally wont breastfeed again, i did it for a year and it was hard work so am goin to see what the other side of the coin is like next time round

 

[LisaJ1986]

The thing with breastfeeding is it's not something you know anything about til you do it. I knew absolutely nothing of the benefits at all. When i got to 25 weeks i was asked at an appointment which i was doing. She gave me all the pros and cons in which my OH begged me to give it a go. In the first 6 weeks i HATED it! If we have money i'd have bought formula, but at the time i was completely broke and get no help with things like that. So i either carried on or she starved.

So my initial instinct was bottle feeding coz i knew how that worked, as all 4 of my nephews are bottle babies.

And also, i have been booby feeding for 6 months and she is on her THIRD cold!

I think most of the time it doesn't make a difference which you do with regards to health. Everyone is doing what is right by them and their babies and that is all that matters. I totally respect bottle feeders, if circumstances were different i'd be one too!

 

[purple13]

formula milk is inferior to booby milk.

this does NOT make formula feeding mummies inferior mummies.

those two statements always get mixed up by people but they really shouldn't


i nearly formula fed because connor couldn't latch, and because he was so underweight in the early weeks. i persevered with bf-ing and am rightly proud of my achievements. he started out on formula, had formula top-ups in the early days and he has had the occasional bottle of formula since, when i've been away from him and i haven't managed to express enough boob milk.

i've looked into both methods of feeding (and into some scientific depth, cos i'm nosey and anal like that ) and i've come to the firm conclusion that i will bf all of my future babies unless there are medical reasons that render it impossible.

 

[Sammystar]

I've done both with all three of mine. Started off booby, went onto formula later. I had problems with both to be honest!

I think the person who said 'less stressed is best' hit the nail on the head!

We all do our best, and as Danni said, as long as the kids are fed and loved, that's all they need.

 

[Jynann]

I started off breatfeeding and after 5 weeks moved onto formula cos I was knackered from Kayleigh feeding all the time, i was getting no sleep, was recovering form an emergency c-sec and just generally in a really bad mood. My oh was suffering too cos he couldn't do ANYTHING to settle my lo, only the boob would do. I felt incredibly guilty at first but she was FINE and still is and is now almost 6 months old and has not had a days illness yet - not even a cold so Kalyleigh is living proof that formula fed babies don't get more illness than bf babies.

She is happy healthy and me and my oh are more of a team and can share feeding - everyone is happy!

 

[mrs_tommo22]

What a lovely and true post redshoes. Well said.

 

[Steelgoddess]

deleted by user

 

[LisaJ1986]

Breastfeeding comes at a time when the woman has literally had her body turned upside hormones are everywhere... Its very unfortunate but alot of failed attempts from breastfeeding can lead to PND.

I think a happy mother feeding by bottle is alot better then a depressed one attempting to feeed by breast. I mean after all the child and mother be happy mentally as well as physically? (Which either way if you are mentally exhausted you risk getting ill anyway...).

Absolutely agree with you here. The strain and bashing your body takes just to get the baby out is one hell of a thing to come to terms with, then when you finally feel like you have your body back you have to learn to share the outside.

As long as mummy and baby are happy then no one should feel the tiniest bit of guilt for whatever they decide.

 

[Becky]

The thing I find hard about the whole feeding issue is that everyone, bottle and breastfeeding mums all say how hard it is to breast feed, we all agree about that, yet when a breastfeeding mum is proud of her achievement despite the difficulties she's made to feel guilty because she's made a bottle-feeding mum feel bad.

I think we all need to step back and stop judging ourselves against each other, the same way we all agree that you can't compare one child against another. There are many different choices to make and we will all make them based on what we feel is right for our child at that moment in time.

Breast-feeding mums should be very proud of themselves, as it is a great achievement to get over all the hurdles that come with breast feeding. No-one should make her feel bad for being proud. This achievement does not mean that other mum's who have (for their own reasons) made different decisions are bad mums, far from it.

But it's very sad if we can't congratulate mothers for succeeding with their parenting choices without offending those who make different decisions.

 

[pilkers]

well I'm a bottle feeding mum and I'm really chuffed with the decision I made and I like to think that fate played a hand.

It's quite a complicated and long winded story but I'll give you the quick version...

During my pregnancy the docs discovered a blood disorder and so I had to inject myself daily with a blood thinning drug. I had always said that although the idea of BFing did freak me out a bit I would definitely give it a go.

When I got down to the last few weeks of my pregnancy I was really suffering with symptoms relating to the medicines I was on and my OH and I talked about bottle v breast. After much soul searching we decided that we'd bottle feed Evie...there were numerous reasons for this but mainly because OH was so concerned about my health.

Anyway, I was never asked by the doc's or MW's about bottle or breast feeding. As it turns out the choice we made was by far the best choice for Evie because I have since found out that if I had given E the boob I could have done a lot more harm than good with the medication I was on.

I'm still angry to this day that it was never mentioned to me by the medical staff...and I like to think that perhaps there was some sort of "intervention" that made me and OH have that conversation that night and make the decision we did.

 

[Steelgoddess]

The thing I find hard about the whole feeding issue is that everyone, bottle and breastfeeding mums all say how hard it is to breast feed, we all agree about that, yet when a breastfeeding mum is proud of her achievement despite the difficulties she's made to feel guilty because she's made a bottle-feeding mum feel bad.

I think we all need to step back and stop judging ourselves against each other, the same way we all agree that you can't compare one child against another. There are many different choices to make and we will all make them based on what we feel is right for our child at that moment in time.

Breast-feeding mums should be very proud of themselves, as it is a great achievement to get over all the hurdles that come with breast feeding. No-one should make her feel bad for being proud. This achievement does not mean that other mum's who have (for their own reasons) made different decisions are bad mums, far from it.

But it's very sad if we can't congratulate mothers for succeeding with their parenting choices without offending those who make different decisions.

i think we've all had a time in our lives when if someone had something we wanted or could not achieve we feel a bit jealous, depressed etc about it... In these circumstances we should just move on and either go forth and do our best to make that achievement or accept what will not be for us but be happy for others...

I think ppl can only congratulate others when they feel within themselves they are 110% confident in what they are doing. But I think what you have said is very true and all this "Guilt" needs to removed so we can all just live in harmony...

 

[nori]

Its a shame this post started off a bit hormonal as i think its an interesting subject. I've always wondered why mums wouldnt TRY to breastfeed first. Its always a question i dont personally feel i can ask as people get quite defensive. Im not saying going straight to the bottle is right or wrong but i think its interesting to understand why people came to that decision thats all.

I know there are so many reasons why people cant breastfeed (i wasnt sure i would be allowed to with the meds im on) but i suppose theres so much evidence out there to say even the first few days is best for baby that i wonder why people dont try at the start even if they end up only doing a few days or weeks.

Its not a matter of judging others, i think its more a matter of understanding others.. If noone ever talks about these things in an adult way then noone will ever understand why people make the decisions they do.

I think its a good thread.. maybe worded slightly wrong at the start.. but interesting...

Claire x

 

[laetitia85]

PERSONAL CHOICE...thats the short answer....

exactly.

 

[Squiglet]

I'm shocked... last time a thread like this was started there was blood splattered on the forum walls for weeks... So To everyone for being so mature about this..

Everything about parenthood is a choice. I have a 9 year old and I STILL have to make decisions about her upbringing. It never changes... only the choices we make. And people still look down on me and give me advice as to what to do

I chose to breast feed. I breast fed both my girls. I will breast feed all future children. Why do I choose to do this... For all the reasons that scientific studes tells us ... because breastfeeding comes with a whole host of long term advantages that formula doesn't. Formula also comes with advantages too.. but I prefer the set of long term advantages that breastfeeding brings... Some people prefer the formula... I prefer black clothes some people like colours... so meh!

Also I hate formula/baby product manufacturers, and have chosen to boycott them (*COUGH* Nestle... who are evil.. and not just because of their formula.!!! Evil chocolate makers too... ) as they really have no morals in the promotion of their products in third world countries... but this is a whole other debate for another time, and really doesn't have anything to do with the breastfeeding/bottle feeding choice debate. Same boycott idea behind Starbucks over 9/11 and selling water to the firemen.. nothing to do with health concerns or quality of their products.

I would always encourage people to breastfeed... I'm pro breastfeeding and I am proud of my achievements because I had to fight long and hard to get where I am. I'm not going to dumb down my achievements any more than I'd dumb down me getting my degree as a single mum... Anyone who fights long and hard for ANYTHING feels proud.

Almost everyone who stops breastfeeding or chooses not to does so because they don't get the adequate support or help from friends/family/medical professionals. Especially the medical professionals. They push breast is best down a mother/to be's throat from the very start (often turning them against breastfeeding before they've even started), then give her faulty or incorrect advice concerning breastfeeding, or how a breastfed newborn acts, which completely messes with their ability to do so. And with people saying "she needs a bottle" or "go on give him a bottle" or "isn't it time you weaned her off the breast, she'll get clingy"... its only a matter of time before even the strongest resolve to breastfeed will disintegrate.

What does this achieve? It leaves a group of women feeling guilty for having "failed", when they should have been supported from the beginning, constantly bolstered from all sides at their achievements but have been failed by the system... because when your tired and in pain, just having everyone on your side helps you go that little bit further. Breastfeeding is the same as a marathon, you "train" for it for months, then you run, are exhausted and tired and in pain, but having the whole crowd cheer you on for being so great, helps you to that finish line.

All the facts should be presented to women in pregnancy... truthful honest facts of both breast (which there are tonnes..) and formula (which there is actually quite little as the formula companies zealously guard their products).... then let the women choose... and once they have chosen... SUPPORT them completely in their decision.

Go waffly squiglet Go I'm also very proud of my ability to help insomniacs to sleep everywhere...

 

[valentine]

The thing I find hard about the whole feeding issue is that everyone, bottle and breastfeeding mums all say how hard it is to breast feed, we all agree about that, yet when a breastfeeding mum is proud of her achievement despite the difficulties she's made to feel guilty because she's made a bottle-feeding mum feel bad.

I absolutely agree with this. I sometimes feel I'm not 'allowed' to feel proud of myself for only breastfeeding for 1 year, despite all the ups and downs I went through; as I may be at risk of offending people who don't/couldn't/won't breastfeed.

Just 'cos I breastfed, it doesn't mean I'm not also proud of all the amazing mothers on this forum who BOTH breastfeed and bottlefeed, just for being themselves and bringing up their children brilliantly.

Valentine Xxx

 

[daftscotslass]

Almost everyone who stops breastfeeding or chooses not to does so because they don't get the adequate support or help from friends/family/medical professionals. Especially the medical professionals. They push breast is best down a mother/to be's throat from the very start (often turning them against breastfeeding before they've even started), then give her faulty or incorrect advice concerning breastfeeding, or how a breastfed newborn acts, which completely messes with their ability to do so. And with people saying "she needs a bottle" or "go on give him a bottle" or "isn't it time you weaned her off the breast, she'll get clingy"... its only a matter of time before even the strongest resolve to breastfeed will disintegrate.

What does this achieve? It leaves a group of women feeling guilty for having "failed", when they should have been supported from the beginning, constantly bolstered from all sides at their achievements but have been failed by the system... because when your tired and in pain, just having everyone on your side helps you go that little bit further. Breastfeeding is the same as a marathon, you "train" for it for months, then you run, are exhausted and tired and in pain, but having the whole crowd cheer you on for being so great, helps you to that finish line.

All the facts should be presented to women in pregnancy... truthful honest facts of both breast (which there are tonnes..) and formula (which there is actually quite little as the formula companies zealously guard their products).... then let the women choose... and once they have chosen... SUPPORT them completely in their decision.

Go waffly squiglet Go I'm also very proud of my ability to help insomniacs to sleep everywhere...

 

[LisaJ1986]

All the facts should be presented to women in pregnancy... truthful honest facts of both breast (which there are tonnes..) and formula (which there is actually quite little as the formula companies zealously guard their products).... then let the women choose... and once they have chosen... SUPPORT them completely in their decision.

Go waffly squiglet Go I'm also very proud of my ability to help insomniacs to sleep everywhere...

This bit is the bit i feel. I was not given adequate info on anything. I did not know it would hurt. I did not know i'd grit my eyes and teeth together just to get through each feed. That you do it when baby wants, not by timing it.

Maybe we should start a mass campaign! Someone needs help! My mw's would come check baby's temp then leave me to it. I had no idea what the hell i was doing! I got through by guess work til i joined here, where the truth comes out!