Who's your birth partner and how do you think they will cope

[spacehopper]

Title says it all really lol

Im having my OH Jacob and my big sister Kelly.

I wanted Jacob, my mum and his mum but they said no to 3 people so insted of causing arguments i asked my sister.

I think my sister will be brilliant as she is always supportive and tells me im great and that she is proud of me.

Jacob on the other hand, he says he wont stand in reaching distance of my hands I think he will cope but may get a bit peeved off at me as he hates me being grumpy and upset.

xx

 

[kerryp]

mine is going to be my OH... hes not good with "gore" as such but ive told him to do whatever he can as he has to concentrate on keeping me calm as hes the only person who can do this for me

 

[aramintalovegrove]

My DH, although he did say if I 'knew' anyone who would like to do it he saw DS being born so he 'wouldnt mind not being there this time' when he said this th eair was blue, he put her in there he can see my pain getting her out!!

He was ok last time just didnt cope very well with me being sick alot.

My MIL came in when DS was crowning and still crows how it was 'such an easy birth', yes love if you only see the last and easiest bit of course it seemed that way!! She got a bit obsessed with DS after witnessing his birth so is not invited this time

 

[Little Bump]

Well mine's all gone to pot

OH is being there, obviously, but he's a "I don't expect sympathy therefore don't give sympathy" kind of guy...I'm hoping he'll be different over labour than when I broke my wrist (where he was adamant I was overreacting and made me feel like a right wimp! The X-rays soon shut him up though!)

And my Mum wanted to be there, which I thought was great. She said she'd be loitering at the hospital anyway, and I really wanted her present, only she announced yesterday she doesn't know whether she can cope seeing me in that much pain

So I probably won't let mum know I'm in labour until it's nearing the end if that makes sense. We're really close, and talk at least 3 times a day, but I don't want her upset....


OH reckons it'll be ok as he's seen pigs being born before

Work that one out!

 

[dannii87]

Aww Spacehopper! He'll suprise you I bet!! Glad you've got your sister there too

Kerryp: That's so sweet! I don't think I know anyone who can keep me calm when I feel like I'm dying!

Aramintalovegrove: Haha!! My Dad said that to me when I gave him the invitation! It was a huge cop out - He just doesn't want to be there, he wants to run in, cut the cord, have the first hold and tell everyone how amazing it was to "see" his first grandchild born!

Sam (LittleBump): LOL I bet your OH will suprise you too! He'll probably be a sobbing wreck while YOU'RE having to console HIM! lol

 

[dannii87]

My Mum is my birthing partner, she's had 4 children (one was a stillborn at 20 weeks ) so she's seen it all and knows how to act (or how I want her to act lol). I'm sure she'll be great, she's really supportive and very excited so I think she'll remain calm (but will be VERY emotional I bet!)

 

[NickyB]

Mine's my OH, he's not good with gore either to the extent I think he'll get more attention than I will!!

 

[Little Bump]

I overheard my OH's friend telling him that 'this labour lark isn't all they crack it up to be....my missus reckoned she was in labour for 3 days but I reckon she just wanted to milk it'

Yeah...because I imagine every woman makes it last out as long as possible

As long as he doesn't listen to him....

Dannii I bet your mum'll be lovely to have there, and imagine what a bond she'll have with Evie

 

[lisa282]

Mine is my OH. He coped really well last time, although later confessed to being totally scared and helpless...and hated it! He didnt want to come this time, said it was really tough last time and not sure if he could witness it again, but Ive bribed him with a weekend away with his mates as long as he is there to hold my hand! Thats all I ask... He didnt like being at the 'business' end and probably saw more than he wanted to last time, so as long as he is there to hold my hand and talk to me I will be happy I know he cant do much and probably feels REALLY uncomfortable, but I just want the company more than anything, he really kept me going last time

 

[Fly]

Mine's gonna be me OH and me Mum. Lee will be really good at keepin me loose and active and makin me laugh if i start takin it all too seriously or freakin out about anything - he's also got magic hands which instinctively know where pain is and are very warm
and Mum i've asked her to help with my breathing and making sure Lee doesn't freak out too much lol

I'm hoping it will just be me, lee and my son for the early stages n then i'll get me mum to come over when am startin to need her help stayin focussed on the breathing - she'll be able to guide me into a nice relaxed meditation if needs be

Mum'll be brilliant n I think lee will be excellent once he's got into the swing of what's going on.. it'll be the first labour for me and the first for him so we are both in the dark on what to expect really lol Mum's done it twice before though so am relying on her to keep our feet on the ground

 

[aramintalovegrove]

I overheard my OH's friend telling him that 'this labour lark isn't all they crack it up to be....my missus reckoned she was in labour for 3 days but I reckon she just wanted to milk it'

grrr men!! when I was having DS OH went outside for a breather and to call folk and an old mate from school was there, he said his DW had just had a 7LB baby and he had 'Shit bigger'

 

[chickadee1976]

Brian will be great with me.
But not sure how much i can rely on him to keep the midwives in check.

 

[AliCat]

My birth partner will be my husband, Dave. I'd like my mum to be present at the birth, but she's quite a sensitive person and I don't know what she'd be like to see her youngest daughter in pain swearing her head off at her husband!
I might ask my best mate, Kate to be there as she's been through it all before and is that little bit older, so would be great for advice and sympathy. She was also a witness at our wedding last year, along with her fella. Except she cried buckets all through the ceremony - more than what my mum did!!

 

[vickyxoxo]

Mine is my OH Drew i'd of liked my mum too but he wants it to be just the 2 of us, and i am dreading how he will cope he hates needles and gore, i had an amnio early on (all was ok ) and he screamed cause i was squeezing his hand too hard!!! He comes from a farming background and he keeps comparing me to lambing a sheep.... i am not impressed, he really thinks he can help deliver it so i told him firmly he is staying up by my head

 

[Cleo100]

Mine is my OH, and to be honest I think he will be pants on the support front, he is physically unable to not take the piss and I expect to have the mickey taken out of me during the whole labour......

Fortunatley I think I'm strong enough to be able to do it on my tod as such and I wouldn't not have him there even if he is a tactless git..... I trust him to ensure my wishes are carried out should I not be able to make a decision myself which is the most importaint thing for me and LO I guess.....

 

[analiza]

Mine is my OH hes so excited about the birth that hes went out and bought the Panasonic HD Camcorder, you know the one where the husband collapses and end up in a hospital bed himself, I can see my OH doing that, god help us all!!

 

[Laura_James&Amber]

My birthing partner is OH and I think he will be great, I wouldn't be able to do it without him. He might be a bit squeamish though! But he doesn't have to look down that end if he doesn't want too!

 

[Mildly]

My OH will be mine, I can't imagine having anyone else there. He will be great and is so looking forward to meeting his son He's going to stay away from the business end (thank goodness) and I think he'll be a bit squeamish to cut the cord although he may surprise us. He can gut a fish so I'm sure he'd be quite capable! I think the main thing is that I'm hoping he doesn't annoy me - if I'm ill or in pain, I tend to want to be left alone to moan quietly and I can get quite snappy. I hope I remember that this is his offspring's birth and that anything he does he is doing it because he thinks it is helping. I don't want to spoil the moment for him

 

[Steelgoddess]

Mine is OH I wrote a birth plan especially for him last night so now he feels confident in knowing what to do...

 

[Daffodil]

Well I'm having my OH and....

A doula! http://www.doula.org.uk/

I booked the doula when I was something like 8 weeks pregnant and I'm really glad I did. She has already been fantastic and she has helped me feel ready for giving birth.

Some interesting research about doulas, in case anyone else is thinking about it:

Research* has shown that having a doula present at a birth:
Shortens first-time labour by an average of 2 hours
Decreases the chance of caesarean section by 50%
Decreases the need for pain medication
Helps fathers or birth partners participate with confidence
Increases success in breastfeeding
*Findings from "Mothering the Mother", Klaus, Kennell & Klaus, 1993

The obstetrical and postpartum benefits of continuous support during childbirth.
Scott KD, Klaus PH, Klaus MH. J Womens Health Gend Based Med 1999 Dec;8(10):1257-64 Division of Public Health, County of Sonoma Department of Health Services, Santa Rosa, California 95404, USA.
The purpose of this article is to review the evidence regarding the effectiveness of continuous support provided by a trained laywoman (doula) during childbirth on obstetrical and postpartum outcomes.

*Emotional and physical support significantly shortens labor and decreases the need for cesarean deliveries, forceps and vacuum extraction, oxytocin augmentation, and analgesia.

*Doula-supported mothers also rate childbirth as less difficult and painful than do women not supported by a doula. Labor support by fathers does not appear to produce similar obstetrical benefits.

* Eight of the twelve trials report early or late psychosocial benefits of doula support. Early benefits include reductions in state anxiety scores, positive feelings about the birth experience, and increased rates of breastfeeding initiation.

*Later postpartum benefits include decreased symptoms of depression, improved self-esteem, exclusive breastfeeding, and increased sensitivity of the mother to her child's needs. The results of these twelve trials strongly suggest that doula support is an essential component of childbirth.

A thorough reorganization of current birth practices is in order to ensure that every woman has access to continuous emotional and physical support during labor.