Ttc shit boat - long term ttcers

[millielaura]

Has anyone ever seen the Youtubers Ellie and Jared?
They're an American couple and they started by documenting their infertility journey on Youtube. Took them 3 and a half years to conceive and they got pregnant on Femera (I think?) and where going to do iui but she ovulated early and it got called off but thy ended up preg that cycle.
I love them and watching them gives me loads of hope. I came across them just after we started making a baby and they had just had their baby and in the summer I went back and watched all their infertility vlogs and they really help.

There's this lovely video they've done and Jared wrote a song when they where trying about their future baby and they've done a collage of their times at the infertility clinic and then their pregnancy journey and made it into a video with the song. It really helps me to feel positive about the outcome.

Oh and not so long ago they announced their surprise pregnancy. Ellie got pregnant when Jackson their son was 5 months old and she has PCOS and had only had one cycle in that time. I was so over the moon for them so it shows miracles can and do happen and just by struggling for one baby doesn't mean you will struggle everytime. Here's the link if anyone wants to see the video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_FYhuKG4cY

Seeing their positive journey really helps keep me positive. OH and I watch their vlogs every night and they are absolutely amazing loving parents and I think a lot of their happiness and patience comes from their long journey to get Jackson here!

 

[millielaura]

They were trying for a year and then went to docs, had Clomid etc which didn't work and took 2 and a half years from first going to see a doc to getting their positive result .

They also have this video this did last year on mothers day which I like:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-Wx13luIXo

 

[PurpleCloud]

I got my BFP today and I'm over the moon. But I wanted to say thank you to all the ladies that have supported me and taken the time to reply to any of my ramblings. TTC is brutal. It was harder than I ever expected and I count myself very very lucky to have only had to wait 15 months. Wishing every one of you lots of baby dust and I can't wait to see you join tri1. Xxx

 

[lisey]

I got my BFP today and I'm over the moon. But I wanted to say thank you to all the ladies that have supported me and taken the time to reply to any of my ramblings. TTC is brutal. It was harder than I ever expected and I count myself very very lucky to have only had to wait 15 months. Wishing every one of you lots of baby dust and I can't wait to see you join tri1. Xxx

Huge congrats, I had a feeling it would be positive xx

 

[millielaura]

Eeeek another big congrats to you. Capsize the boat on your way out lol xxc

 

[snowbee]

Great news Purple! Congratulations!

 

[millielaura]

As I suspected- I went to collect the letter and the clinic have refused to see us due to the pregnancy in November. Beyond devastated atm. I know we got preg naturally yes but even if i wasnt trying to get pregnant why are my cycles everywhere? why am i spotting sometimes midcycle? Why does it hurt me dtd? Why does my cervix really burn sometimes? What about the scar tissue that was causing me pain?
This is all stuff the doctor said theyd help with.
She said she can't re refer us at the moment and hopes it will happen again soon.

We're going to go back and complain like we were planning to but honestly I've had it up to here with the effing nhs. I know they can be amazing and most of the time they do a great job but firstly, they where meant to operate on my cyst when it was smaller... i was waiting 5 months for the op just to be told that theyd forgotten me. By the time i had the op some of my ovary had to be removed. Then ive had a constant battle with them saying hurtful things telling me we're too young and not to worry about it and go and have fun. I spotted for most of the time during my pregnancy and tbh they didnt even help much then. Then finally we get somewhere and hopes of being referred amd its all effed up again
I don't know if I can go through going to different gp's etc. I might just ask to go through gynae find out whats going on that way and then pay for a private consultation. The amount ive spent on supplements amd preg and ovulation tests i may as well just pay for something that may get us somewhere. Going to ring the private unit on Monday and ask their advice. Means we cant do our house up for along time now but I can't go on having no hope. There has to be a reason why my body cant keep a pregnancy and why im getting pain and my cycles being funny. There must be
So just going to cut our losses with that stupid nhs system and get treatment privately. Will make sure all my tests are up to date on NHS and that they send me to gynae for investigations. No doubt that will take ages. Then will book a consultation with a private unit. I know my gp has to send them a letter to refer me privately. Surely I can still have the choice to go private, surely?
Trying to be positive but had such a horrid week feeling over the moon with a bfp, devastated with a chemical and now the thing thats kept us going since the m/c has been taken away too
I don't even know whether to just pay privately or just to think eff it and go back on my pill and forget the whole thing for a few years and start from square one. Xx

 

[lisey]

Oh its just rubbish Millielaura, I had similar with our fertility appointment, we went, had initial tests, got pregnant, miscarried and they wouldn't even see me again to give me the results of the tests. I think the NHS is a wonderful thing and we are lucky to have it in this country but I have had so many issues with it during the ttc and pregnancy process.
You have had such a rollercoaster few days and its normal for you to be feeling fed up. I think best thing to do is get referral to gynae asap...I think they can prescribe clomid (not 100% sure though) and they will do all sorts of investigations into your cycles etc. The referral for gynae for me was about 6 weeks I think so not too long, obv could be shorter or longer for you but you could ask them roughly how long it takes.
If you go private then it shouldn't be too expensive hopefully, an initial consultation and then the clomid-the clomid is quite cheap from what the other ladies have said, they will prob want you to have monitoring scans too though so I guess that adds to it.
It really isn't fair that you are left with so much uncertainty. I don't think they really understand how hard it is to go through it all xx

 

[millielaura]

Yeah I will def ask to be seen through gynae. Its making my health anxiety bad not even just about ttc but in general wondering whats wrong. Hopefully they can give clomid or at least advise for us to go to fertility clinic. Surely then theyd have to see me?
I did ask what can I do about irregular cycles and spotting at a previous appt and the doctor said the pill. Which was very helpful ... not!
I just don't understand it. Ive had friends in the past who have got preg buy accident and not wanted to keep the baby and their appts where all done and dusted within the week. So why the F when people want a baby do we have all these stupid hoops and hurdles to jump through! . I know its not the doctors fault but feel very peed off she said wed be okay to get referred even after the mc and i wait 5 WEEKS to be told something she probs could of rung up and found out in 5 mins .
Would you advise waiting till I've seen gynae before booking private consultation so that I know where I'm at etc? Xxx

 

[lisey]

Not knowing is the worst and doctors are generally not that great with fertility issues so I would take everything they say with a pinch of salt unless they have a special interest in that area. I know its worrying and I have been there so I know too well but remember there is so much they can do, clomid, progesterone, laparoscopys for investigations etc. They can fix so many issues.
As hard as it is to wait, I would, for a matter of a couple of months it might be worth seeing if gynae can offer solutions cos otherwise the fertility clinic might want to know whats causing the issues before they start treatment, so that they know what treatment to give xx

 

[mylullaby]

I got my BFP today and I'm over the moon. But I wanted to say thank you to all the ladies that have supported me and taken the time to reply to any of my ramblings. TTC is brutal. It was harder than I ever expected and I count myself very very lucky to have only had to wait 15 months. Wishing every one of you lots of baby dust and I can't wait to see you join tri1. Xxx

This is such amazing news!! So happy for you xxx

 

[millielaura]

Thank you lisey
We've talked about it and plan is to go back to the docs and argue our case. Ask to be put through to gynae as I'm still worried about what could be up. Then if that doesn't help then pay to go private. If no luck still then I guess in a year or so they would be able to refer us again if we had no luck.
Feel so so much better after everyones help on here and discussing it with OH. Feel a lot more positive again. Maybe it's even a sign that we won't need it who knows!
Xxx

 

[mylullaby]

You have a great attitude. I know you say your anxiety is a problem, but you're doing so well considering everything you've been through. I'm sure it will pay off sooner or later xxx

 

[Loubalouba]

Millielaura I am sorry Hun that is shit!! Don't understand it! You have been trying for over a year so whether you have had a mc or not surely that should not matter? You could take it to PALS and complain? I had a mc and a few months after asked to be referred and there was no issue!? We had been trying for over a year at that point.

I hope you get something sorted Hun to help you xx

 

[millielaura]

Oh thank you mylullaby. I was really down and low earlier but speaking to everyone on here helped so much and OH has made me feel loads better. We had a massive talk about it which really helped me as he usually doesn't want to talk about it all but think he realised how upset I was. We sort of wrapped up the discussion on the vibe that we will get a family and more than likely our own biologicaly but if it came to it we would go through the adoption process. So either way we will end up with our family . I am really lucky that we are young and have a lot of time to sort everything out and everything happens for a reason I guess (I usually hate saying that lol) and I'm sure there will be a reason for the referral being cancelled . Looked up some statistics about ttc in your 2nd year and we have a good likelihood and also been reading about people have several m/cs and chemicals and then conceiving their sticky bean naturally so feeling tons better. Think the letter just came on the worst day possible the day after a chemical happened!
Sending lots of positive vibes around the boat xxxxxx

 

[millielaura]

What's PALS loubalouba? I was thinking of sending a strongly worded email to the CCG or whatever it is when i was in my down mood earlier haha. Goodness knows what I would of ended up saying!
We are still going to argue our case with the doctors even though we feel tons more positive right now. The doctor herself was lovely and the problem was the ferility clinic. There is another one we could go to which is the one we would go to privately anyway. It does NHS and private so could try out luck before going there privately.
I do think they need one national set of rules and to stick to them lol!! Xxx

 

[Loubalouba]

You go girl..., that's the attitude you will be a mummy one day and one way or another, you are getting the 1st bit sorted

i have forgotten what pals stands for!! But it's basically where you can complain about the system you have received under the nhs x

Like you say you have time on your side, so why not book a nice holiday and keep busy enjoying life together whilst waiting xx make the most of it just being you 2 doing all the things you can't do with a bundle of joy xxxx We are renovating a house so I have been getting stuck into that xxx

 

[Lilmisshopeful]

Your issues with cycles being all over spotting and pain all need dealing with regardless of seeing a fertility doc. So demand gynae hun. You might find that they sort them issues out and a baby follows. Dtd should not hurt xxx

 

[millielaura]

Yeah defo think it needs checking by gynae as I would be worried about it regardless to if we wanted a baby or not.

Loubalouba thanks so much for your pals suggestion. We have emailed them this morning and also emailed the local ccg with our complaints amd explaining the situation and included the CCG's guidelines showing we are entitled to treatmemt and saying we wish to appeal against the clinics decision. Explained the situation and used words like "dumbfounded" , "shocked", "devastated" etc. Wrapped up the email saying "We wish to appeal against the clinics decision and we wish to make a formal complaint as to how we have been treated during the most emotionally painful and challenging experience of our lives."

Now lets just hope it takes them less than 5 weeks to get back to me lol! Xx

Xxx

 

[millielaura]

I also mentioned how we have been unhappy with them from the get go and mentioned the things GPs have said when they discriminated against us because of our age.

Ooh I love sending complaint emails haha. Xx