Ttc shit boat - long term ttcers

[millielaura]

14dpo or 15dpo . I think. Unless I ovulated 2 days after my pos opk which would make me 13 dpo. I'm not really sure :/
I'm gonna do another later as don't think I'd sleep with the uncertainty overnight.
I'm probably being really overdramatic but after chemicals before I just feel like it's happening again. xxx

 

[mylullaby]

You can't help how you feel hun - completely understandable.
Don't forget you're more likely to get a false negative than a false positive, so chances are you'll be fine

 

[millielaura]

I really hope so!! Someone needs to invent a super amazing scan machine that every woman can have so she can see whats happening inside her uterus at all times! None of this poas thing haha xxx

 

[mylullaby]

There'll be an app for it in a few years! Ha! And women will be shrieking in disbelief at the stories their mothers tell them "eeeuuuwwww you had to actually PEE on a piece of plastic?! Stop lying mother - as if!"

 

[millielaura]

Hahahha yeah!! How funny lol!

I can't believe people used to have to just wait and see- although they where quite lucky not have to have all the stress over lines business!

xxx

 

[millielaura]

Ahhh looks like I'm sailing on this boat for a bit longer. Just started heavy bleeding so my anxieties about a chemical where right! gutted

 

[Loubalouba]

Oh Hun I am so sorry... Why is this journey so cruel... I just can't understand it! Your body is trying! Surely it's only a matter of time for you... Hugs xxx

 

[millielaura]

I'm so gutted just seems like my body can't hold onto beanies at all. I'm gonna ring doctors on Monday to tell them seeing as I rung earlier about the bfn just to tell them to confirm my referral wont be affected. I'm just so relieved we have the referral appointment coming. A positive is that at least I ovulated later this month as I was getting 17 day cycles at one point. It's a comfort to know that.
Feel bad for OH as his work friend announced he was having a baby today and OH said only thing that made it okay for him was that we got our bfp. Feel terrible for him now because theres only 5/6 of them working together and everyones all a buzz with this friends baby news atm! Xx

 

[Loubalouba]

I know the baby at work thing!! The whole time we have been trying 4 of my work colleagues have had babies and it's tough!! Esp as their line manager who has to look after their pregnancy health and safety and sort cover for their midwife appts etc!! It's good you have your referral just focus on that and think that at least you are having conceptions so your eggs are getting fertilised, you are getting past a stage some people don't even get to xx

Have you tried acupuncture ? Xx

 

[millielaura]

Yes I'm so greatful we are having conceptions . Some of my cycles have been too short to but the doctor said I'l be given clomid most likely so with that I should have more chances as should ov each month and so l will have more chance of a sticky bean keeping positive .

I bet thats so tough on you at work xxxx I'm so glad none of my close friends have babies yet or anything as think I'd really struggle. Xxx

 

[millielaura]

And I booked for acupuncture but OH said to just wait till fertility appt as he didn't want to spend all the money if it didn't work. I really wanna do it. Just to help my anxiety if nothing else xxx

 

[Loubalouba]

It could really help get your cycles more regular before appt it's something you could do before appt and to keep you positive until the appt x heard lots of good things about it! I had reflexology and that helped regulate my cycles and was really relaxing! I loved it!

I know and my best friend got pregnant on her 1st month of trying after we had started fertility treatment and my sister in law has had 2 children since we have been ttc!! And both were accidents!! It's been a lot to cope with and at times really tough but it's going to be our time one day just like it will be yours... You are getting some close calls so bound to happen one day!! Xx

 

[Dee28]

I'm so sorry Millie, how incredibly gutting, urgh I hope you're ok xxx

 

[millielaura]

Yeah i will defo have more of a think about it! Especially if appts going to be a while.

All of this makes my health anxiety so bad. I do it with everything but started doing it with ttc. For example any chest pain i think heart attack. So with ttc i just dwell on what could be up , why my cycles are funny,what causes mc and chemicals etc etc and it all goes round in my head and I think of all sorts and get to where I think I have life threatening cancer etc. Honestly its ridiculous. Getting cbt for anxiety soon so hopefully that will help but every month does make me think is there something seriously wrong with me etc. Theres not actually many things at all that couldnt be fixed so I dont know why I get so anxious but its just me I guess

That must of been so hard for you loubalouba. I dont wanna be mean and this sounds mean but I dread the day my SIL announces preg! Theyve bougt a house together now amd I just know its imminent. I couldn't cope hearing all about it off MIL all the time etc ! Xxx

 

[Loubalouba]

I think some people are just more anxious than others, I have realised from ttc that I am an anxious person, I developed anxiety last year and I went for hypnotherapy and the results were amazing!! If you could afford to have some because it works amazing for anxiety! Just find a good one!

Yeah it was really hard! It put a big strain on my friendship, and I avoided seeing everyone with babies for a while as it was just soooo painful holding a baby!!

Xxx

 

[millielaura]

Hypnotherapy sounds good. I have a few apps with soundtracks and it sounds great and really relaxes me. how did you find somewhere to get it etc?

Aw yes I don't blame you . I would avoid them too for sure.
There was this time recently that OHs parents where looking after a baby (as MIL a childminder)and me and OH had gone to pick up my kittens that had been staying with them whilst we where away and it really upset me to be in a room all of us and see his parents fussing over the baby and I just kept thinking that should be our baby their fussing over etc.
Xx

 

[millielaura]

A fair few of my friends keep saying "we're waiting for the preg announcement" etc which I find really hard especially after chemicals etc. Hope no one says it to me anytime soon. I have told a few friends and some have been great (posted in this thread about telling people I think as wasnt sure whether too) but one friend completely ignored my message which kinda hurt! Xx

 

[Loubalouba]

I know my work ladies have been amazing better than some of my friends! I just googled hypnotherapist specialising in fertility and anxiety and found a lovely lady close to home! It has been the best thing I have ever done!

Have a look online and email them first with your situation and see how they reply, that's how I chose mine! I liked her reply!

It really helped me cope and research says it increases your fertility, I certainly feel in a much better frame of mind to get pregnant now xx

 

[MelC2011]

Oh Millie honey I'm so sad to read this
Absolutely gutted for you.
Sending huge hugs lovely xx

 

[millielaura]

I'l defo have a look loubalouba I do think my anxiety and fertility are quite interlinked. I get anxious because of this making a baby stuff but also think I throw my hormones out of wack by being anxious sometimes.

I really hate chemicals they're such a rollercoaster. Feel exhausted. I'd rather it happened now though than a couple months down the line again I guess.

Setting my sights for a christmas baby now. And fingers crossed for everyone on this boat for november/december babies Xx