TTC at 43

[Nickynackynoo]

Hi I'm 43 and have 3 beautiful children, my youngest being 3. I've caught first time with every 1 of them but this time we have been ttc since May...feeling very deflated and thinking it might never happen as I've read fertility drops at 43. Anyone out there who's an older mum in the same boat?

 

[stacesl3]

Yep also in the over 40 club! (there are a few of us here lol). I've managed to get pregnant twice bur sadly mc both times Not ready to give up yet! Best advice is not to look on internet or google anything re age and fertility as its far too depressing, I am aware of the odds but choose to ignore them

Plenty of people conceive in their 40's, there is a lady on here who just got pregnant naturally at 44 so it can happen! IF you find you have been ttc for 6 months you can go to your GP who will refer you for blood tests! Good luck xx

 

[Syd43]

I got my bfp just over a week ago and I'm 44, got it naturally. Obviously it's still early days and lots could go wrong but I'm hopeful. This is my first pregnancy.

Good luck.

 

[Syd43]

Ha, just seen your comment staces That's me

I totally agree with what you say about not looking at stats. I stupidly started looking at miscarriage stats today and according to my age and oh's I have about a 20% chance of this pregnancy working. At best. I could have cried.

 

[lillith112]

Hi I'm 43 and have 3 beautiful children, my youngest being 3. I've caught first time with every 1 of them but this time we have been ttc since May...feeling very deflated and thinking it might never happen as I've read fertility drops at 43. Anyone out there who's an older mum in the same boat?

Yep, I've just turned 44 a few days ago, I have 3 children from a previous relationship and I caught straight away. I've been trying 20 months with my fiancé and absolutely nothing. I have read chances are less than 1% at age 44. I've basically given up hope now. I have just had 21 day bloods done. I get positive opks every month, I've tried various things to help and still no good. I'm heartbroken but I have to get used to the idea that it's probably never going to happen. I wish you the best of luck, you might be one of the lucky ones. If you need to chat I'm an inbox away. xx

 

[Clementine]

Ha, just seen your comment staces That's me

I totally agree with what you say about not looking at stats. I stupidly started looking at miscarriage stats today and according to my age and oh's I have about a 20% chance of this pregnancy working. At best. I could have cried.

Syd try your best to stay away from Google, I don't think the Stats for over 40 are that reliable, lots of 40+ women have healthy and happy pregnancies. You've crossed the biggest hurdle and gotten pregnant so keep positive and keep away from the scary stats xx

 

[Syd43]

Thank you Clementine, I know you're right x

 

[stacesl3]

Ha, just seen your comment staces That's me

I totally agree with what you say about not looking at stats. I stupidly started looking at miscarriage stats today and according to my age and oh's I have about a 20% chance of this pregnancy working. At best. I could have cried.

It was indeed, you've given us 'oldies' hope Hope all is going well xx

Agree with Clementine, you've done the hard part. I dont think anything will take away the worry and anxiety, its part of the package I guess. if I ever manage to get my BFP again I will be a wreck with my history lol

 

[Syd43]

Thanks Staces. Yes, I can't imagine how much more scary it would be if you've already been through a loss.

 

[Syd43]

So after all that, it looks as if I am on the verge of a miscarriage Started bleeding yesterday, quite a lot of red and pink blood (definitely not brown), had an us yesterday afternoon and I'm measuring a week behind. By lmp I should be 5 weeks 4 days but I'm measuring 4 1/2 weeks, it was basically an empty sac (forgot to ask about yolk, fetal pole etc, was too in shock by her initial reaction of "oh dear"). I'm very sure of dates because we only dtd twice, the last time being 3 1/2 weeks ago so I have to be 5 1/2.

Have to go back in a week to see if any growth but she has more or less said to prepare myself.

Absolutely gutted, oh and I are only in the same country for about 5 weeks for the rest of the year and that combined with all the stress he's currently under plus his very low sex drive means this was really our one chance. By the time I'm back here early next year I'll be just a few weeks away from 45.

 

[Browneyed Girl]

So sorry you're going through this. I really think a scan at 5 weeks is too early to tell if everything's ok or not though - most early scans start at 7 weeks for this reason. At 5 weeks the embryo is too small for any scan to be conclusive and it's completely normal for there to be no heartbeat etc. I know bleeding is super scary (having some spotting myself at the moment) but lots of people do go on to have healthy pregnancies. How are your pregnancy tests looking? xx

 

[Syd43]

Thanks Browneyed Girl. I know you're right about it being early, I think it was just because she was so negative. Plus there is quite a lot of blood, that's been going on for over 24 hrs now.

I got 1-2 on a digi 10 days ago and 2-3 a few days ago. Will do another this weekend and see if it's gone to 3+ although I know the hormones can linger for a while even if you do miscarry.

Hope your spotting stops soon.

 

[lillith112]

So after all that, it looks as if I am on the verge of a miscarriage Started bleeding yesterday, quite a lot of red and pink blood (definitely not brown), had an us yesterday afternoon and I'm measuring a week behind. By lmp I should be 5 weeks 4 days but I'm measuring 4 1/2 weeks, it was basically an empty sac (forgot to ask about yolk, fetal pole etc, was too in shock by her initial reaction of "oh dear"). I'm very sure of dates because we only dtd twice, the last time being 3 1/2 weeks ago so I have to be 5 1/2.

Have to go back in a week to see if any growth but she has more or less said to prepare myself.

Absolutely gutted, oh and I are only in the same country for about 5 weeks for the rest of the year and that combined with all the stress he's currently under plus his very low sex drive means this was really our one chance. By the time I'm back here early next year I'll be just a few weeks away from 45.

Syd I feel so sad reading this, you are an inspiration, you gave me and my oh hope that it can happen. Don't count yourself out yet, you may have ovulated later than you think as sperm can live up to 7 days inside. Also I had quite heavy bleeding with my son when af was due and that was bright red fresh blood. Try to rest up if you can until your next scan. I'm keeping everything crossed for you and I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Don't give up hope.
I know how you feel about not seeing your oh much, mine lives 6 hour drive away and is fulltime carer for his mum, it means we only see each other every 4-7 weeks so it really limits the time we can ttc. Hugs to you xx

 

[Charlotte9]

Syd, no way This is shocking. So sorry I hope that little bean continues to grow. Its heartbreaking after all this time. On the other side your fibroid is removed and you caught it in the first cycle. You are highly fertile so now its only wait and see what happens. my thoughts are with you x

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Tapatalk

 

[Clementine]

Hi Syd, upset to read your news, please don't give up hope yet, you may have got pregnant / implanted later than you thought and it's very hard to measure dates in the first few weeks. Bleeding does not always mean miscarriage especially if it stops, I know people say red blood is a bad sign but with my first missed miscarriage it was brown spotting that I had. Have you had any cramping/back pain or clotting. My sister had lots of bleeding with her first child who is now 26. I'm sending you so much sticky baby bean dust, hopefully your scan next week will bring happier news for you, and try to limit lifting / strenuous exercise.

( ps if things don't work out this time and you are limited with the number of months you can see your partner could you try IVF as maybe they could freeze his sperm and then work with your cycle)

Look after yourself xxxx

 

[stacesl3]

Oh Syd, I really am sorry you are going through this, its sh&t!!!!! I really wanted this to be it for you, I truely hope for a miracle for you and that everything is well on your next scan. Never give up hope, it really is all we have xx
Like Lilith I'm also in the same boat re not living with OH, he's only 2 hours away but travels all the time so it really is touch and go if I get to see him around OV. And I understand completely about the age thing, I could say dont worry about age but I know thats impossible as I do all the time, but on the plus side you said all your blood tests came back good and you have managed to get pregnant pretty much straight after your op which is really positive. Big hugs and if you need to talk feel free to pm me xx

 

[Syd43]

Thanks everyone, really appreciate your support.

Clementine, still bleeding but no clotting or back pain, very mild cramping.

xx

 

[lillith112]

Been thinking of you today Syd, really hope you're ok and the bleeding has stopped, sending you hugs xx

 

[Syd43]

Thanks Lilith. Still bleeding and got 1-2 on digi this morning, should be 3+ by now. Also still getting mild cramping so not at all hopeful.

 

[lillith112]

Thanks Lilith. Still bleeding and got 1-2 on digi this morning, should be 3+ by now. Also still getting mild cramping so not at all hopeful.

I'm so sorry hun, I really thought this was it for you. It's absolutely heartbreaking. Try and see this as a positive that you can actually catch pregnant, that is the biggest hurdle and you did it. Can you not have a scan sooner to see what's going on ?.xx