Any other "older" mothers ttc

[san]

I am 43 and suspect I may be pregnant. Af due today but did two test , one Wed first thing and yesterday lunchtime - both were negative . I already have 4 children, sons of 20, 15 and 13 and a daughter of 6 - my dh and I are celebrating our silver wedding anniversary in October. I genuinely though I had finished with motherhood however after an unexpected pregnancy resulted in a blighted ovum in November my maternal instinct has reawoken. What is the conscensous on older mums? I feel no different to the way I felt 20 years ago, I'm a mature student studying for a BA in Early Childhood Studies and feel as fit as I ever did. The only difference is I have never felt such a gut wrenching longing for pregnancy, birth and motherhood - its an almost spiritual need/longing as though this has to be - does that sound totally weird? I have experienced the pain of loosing my babies on 3 previous occasions, all early miscarriages - but I am a together kind of person and know there was a reason they "left" and that they are always with me.
Gosh I hope there is no word limit for this forum I seem to have written a novel - anyway any older (or younger ) mums out there I need to know if there is hope for me or am I passed it!

 

[A&J]

Hi and welcome

I am not an "older" ladie ttc I am 28! there is a few older ladies on here ttc! I do not think you are past it at all, and there is always hope, If i was you I would test again in a couple of days using FMU have you got any symptoms of pregnancy?

Good luck and sending you lots of babydust

 

[sandee]

I am 34, but my g/f just had # 2 at 43! She has a 17 year old son! You will be great when you get that BFP! Baby dust!

 

[kazlin]

Hi there san,

I became pregnant at 38 and to be honest I don't and have never felt an age. I hate it when an age is put on people, to me it's just a number. I have a really good mate who is 24 and she acts more grown up than me!!!

I don't think that you are too old at all, if you feel that you want another child then go for it. At the end of the day it's all about whether you are capable of bringing a human being into the world, not what age you are. We are thinking (fingers crossed) of trying for another child next year and I'll be 40.

Best of luck and I say again...go for it!

 

[san]

Thanks your words are all very kind - definately what I want/need to hear!

With all my previous pregnancies I never tested before due date but who says with age comes patience and wisdom I more impatient this time than ever! I have some pregnancy symptoms, bigger boobs, dizzy and metallic taste but I sometimes think these things happen anyway just don't notice them cause I'm not looking - if you know what I mean! My cycle since puberty has always been regular as clockwork and I af always arrives on a Saturday - still nothing yet but because of the two negatives I'm reluctant to test again ! Have many out there tested negative early and then later got a positive - I used CB digital. Also one other strange thing this month I had some spotting - literally just a wipe of fresh red blood - no need for pad or liner. Not like af blood very red and actually more like a cut very bizarre. That was about 10 days ago. Happended to anyone else.

Thanks again for the kind words.
San
x

 

[MrsBrightside]

I think its great that you want another baby, only you know how ya will cope etc... if you feel its right then go for it hun!! im 28 and have just started TTC.

There is too much in the press about women been too old or too young what about a woman who is naturally meant to be a mother?? there shouldn't be an issue about any age as far as im concerned

 

[~Honey~]

San - I'm 41 so definitely in the realm of "older" mother (though not a mother to a living child unfortunately). We've had two early losses and I do consider myself a Mum to my angels cos I did all I could for them both.

Anyway, I wanted to say that I think it's brilliant that you have such a deep longing for another child - you see kids have kids these days and they really don't have an idea of what parenthood is about... a least you know and you still want to do it!!! Does that make sense???

Also loving the sound of the spotting 10 days ago, sounds like an implant spot to me.

I'm late also and have tested twice already, both BFN's same as you. I've decided to wait til Wednesday before I test again - I figure if its not + by then, it never will be (unless it's an immaculate conception!!!).

If you do test when would you test again? What CD/DPO are you now?

Good luck to you, I really really hope you are preggers!!! Think of all those ready made babysitters you have on tap!!!!

 

[san]

Thanks Honey - your words were very kind and made complete sense. So sorry for your losses, I have 4 angels - they will be ready to greet us when the time comes! I though the bleed may have been an implantation too but I've never had one before so not sure - af is due today and I keep going to the loo to check! When was your af due? I have two more tests in and may test in the morning (if I can't wait ) but would prefer to wait until later in the week - just don't think I can! The daft thing is if I test pos I'll then start worrying about blighted ovum/miscarriage again - wish I had a crystal ball ! When it happens we dread telling people too, even the dr who we know quite well - I know it shouldn't matter but they look at us like we're nutters - even my parents. I wish they could be happy for us - its like being a teenager again admitting our guilty secret - definately only pc (in our family anyway) to have babies between 25 and 30 !! Fingers crossed and baby dust for you Honey.
x

 

[~Honey~]

San, forgot to mention that my Mum had my younger sis at 44 years of age and my sis is now 35 so you can imagine how un-pc it was that long ago to be preggers at 44!!! No matter though, she had a perfectly healthy (if somewhat annoying baby).

Never mind what others think, they don't live your life. Life is too short to not go for what we want - if your dearest wish is to have another child, then I for one am glad that a wanted and longed for child is going to brought into the world.

My AF was due 4 days ago - my usual cycle since the MC is 28 days (used to be 26 days). I've never in my life been this late without a BFP which is why it's so annoying. I won't test again til Wednesday (if AF doesn't come that is) ... I'm good at waiting. I've to go to Tesco to get a couple of their tests tomorrow to keep in the drawer.

As to worrying after MCing? Well, yep that'll happen for sure. I don't think, even if I get my BFP, I'll go a day without worrying and waiting for the spot to happen (both mine started with brown spotting) but I guess if we're not in this, we can't win. The thing I want most in the world, above a bigger house or car or whatever, is to see the look on my darling husband's face as he holds our baby in his arms. That I would give my soul for.

 

[jemz24]

I just wanted to say. Im 26 in november and have no right to complain.
I tottaly admire you all. It saddens me that there are so many women out there who have not yet had a child. I also believe it dosent matter how old u are to bring a child in the world its wether u can provide for it.
I wish u lots of luck girls, hope u dreams come true sooner rather than later xx

 

[EllieBelle]

Im 34 and just got a BFP with baby number 1, saying that my DH is 40.

I also have a very good friend who had her children when she was 38 and 39,and is a wonderful mother!

I dont think anyone can judge anyone, and if you want another child then dont let anyone put you off!

Hope you get your BFP soon!

 

[san]

Damn my impatience just test again - negative . What has others experience been with CB digital? Af was due yesterday and I tested about an hour ago - I know first wee in the morning is supposed to be better but I was just to impatient!! In my other pregnancies I've always tested positive on day af due - so think I'm clutching at straws! Oh well still waiting. Baby dust to everyone!
xx

 

[Pinky38]

I am 38 and my hubby is 40, he has 10yr old son (nearly 11) and I dont have any!!!

 

[san]

Soo frustrated I feel sicky and prickly boobs but the test said nay - I also have lower back pain a sure sign that af is imminent. Wish I had a normal stick to pee on instead of the digital - not convinced about them - but then I suppose the negative result might have something to do with that - grrr!! Oh for a crystal ball.

 

[EllieBelle]

I only got a positive on a clearblue digital at 14 dpo - tested at 11 days and was BFN, I also used the cheapie high sensitive tests from 8 dpo and got a faint positive straight away!

So in my opinion the Digitals work, but there needs to be a good amount of HCG present before you get a positive, and when you see "not pregnant" its just awful!!!

 

[~Honey~]

San - I think the digi's are pretty good but you have to use them at the right time. I wouldn't recommend them for early testing... however, you're late now so, technically, they have worked. Are you sure about your O day? Could it be that you O'd later and so your LP is still in your normal range? I checked on FF at all the charts that are + on 15DPO or more and there are tons (even one for 28DPO if you'd believe it) and I know of some women who tested BFN and then BFP after 16DPO. The not knowing is the worst thing.

For my two other pregnanices, I tested at 18DPO for the first (wouldn't believe I was pregnant as I'd only had one AF in 4 months) and the second on 15DPO (too scared to test any earlier). Both were very positive - but I guess each pregnancy is different and so the levels of HCG will be different too.

Sorry you got a BFN today, that's a bummer - I took my temp today and it's 36.27 which is colder than a cold thing stuck in a iceberg so I can't really believe I'm pregnant either.

This is all a bit poo really isn't it???

 

[san]

What is the temperature thing Honey? If pregnant does our temperature go up? Must admit I'm beginning to wonder about my af due date, I'm sure it was yesterday but perhaps I counted wrong and its actually next Saturday ( always a Saturday - lol). I bled during (none after )a bd last weekend too (just remembered). Going to make sure I keep a firmer hold on my diary! The problem is with the 3 negatives you start questioning yourself - lol! baby dust to you Honey and remember till af arrives there is always hope!
xx

 

[~Honey~]

I used to temp and chart my temps during my cycle. At the beginning of a cycle your temp is fairly low, one the day you ovulate it drops down even lower and then your temp climbs up to higher than pre O temps after you've O'd - that way you can confirm if you've O'd or not and when. I used to chart on Fertility Friend which is a payable American site with forums etc (I see others on here having links to it). Anyways, you can chart for free too, you don't need to use that. I started doing it cos I knew nothing about my body at all or how my cycles worked. Before we decided to ttc I couldn't have even told you when my AF was due or how long my cycle was or anything. I never really needed to know being on the pill and everything

Having temps to check back on does help confirm when (or even if) you've O'd so you can say oh well in X number of days, AF will be due. My LP (luteal phase or phase after O) is almost always 13 days so either I O'd late or something else is stopping AF from appearing. I have to say I've been under huge stress in work lately (even so far as having to have a few days off sick) and that may be affecting my cycle too.

For me 36.24 is a very low post AF temp (pre O) and not a good sign. But, as someone else reminded me on another site, temps can go weird if you're pregnant so it's always advised that the second you know you are preggers, you stop temping or you'd drive yourself nuts. I guess the one way we'll really know for sure is:

1 AF comes or
2 We got a BFP

Bloody annoying waiting though!!!!

 

[trish5566]

Hi,
I'm an older mum.Had my son at 41,big surprise that was as we didn't think that we could..OH is/was infertile.
I've now got the baby bug and am desperate for another before i do get too old.
Were trying but nothing as yet,maybe he will just be our little gift from heaven.

 

[tuck]

hi, I had my 1st baby at 40, following a miscarriage theyear before, we're also trying for baby no 2.

I dont think age matters anymore, I dont feel 41, but then how are you sposed to feel ?????

good luck with everything.