To smack or not to smack???????

[claireabell]

I've just been watching GMTV did anyone else see this? With the programme that's on this evening about smacking children, I was wondering how many of you agree with smacking or disagree. I can see points from both sides. There is a difference between smacking and hitting and obviously physical abuse....but how and where do you draw the line? I personally don't smack and have never smacked haylea. I do though have a friend who seems to smack her child quite alot. One of the ladies on GMTV said about when will kissing/cuddling/bathing your children become insest? Maybe that was a bit of an extreme example but I think the way society is going you can never be sure with what they will come up with next. The lady who was anti-smacking campaign then had a valid point : If you hit someone in the street its classed as assault and you can be arrested for this.....so where do people draw the line?
Anyway ladies would love to hear your views on this...the programme is on ITV at 9pm called "I smack and I'm proud"...

 

[BubbleB]

i think its alright to tap kids n let em no theyv done wrong but like u sed if its allowed then isnt that almost physical abuse

i voted no btw wonder who voted yes

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

I voted no i woudlnt actually smack Kiara but lightly tap her hand or somthing ..when shes older of course.
Imagine the old days gettign wiped by belts ect. my dad only belted me once when i came home drunk
Katrina

 

[Rosieroo]

I think that smacking teaches children violence is ok if someone does something that annoys you. What do you do when the smacking doesn't work? Smacking didn't work with me and my mum only stopped when I started hitting her back. It didn't make me respect her any more for it, in fact the opposite. I remember being hit and the humiliation of it, also the resentment of being hit when something had happened that I had nothing to do with. The women who say they smack and are proud of it are vile.

 

[beanie]

I think that smacking teaches children violence is ok if someone does something that annoys you. What do you do when the smacking doesn't work? Smacking didn't work with me and my mum only stopped when I started hitting her back. It didn't make me respect her any more for it, in fact the opposite. I remember being hit and the humiliation of it, also the resentment of being hit when something had happened that I had nothing to do with. The women who say they smack and are proud of it are vile.

I agree. I will never smack Seren as I just don't agree its necessary. If my partner did something that was naughty or one of my friends did I would not even consider smacking them, so why would I want to do that to my child?. My mum smacked me on a couple of occasions and I just had no respect for her when she did that. My OH was smacked by his dad and one day when he was older he turned round and squared up to him, they are best of friends now but OH says that he hated his dad for smacking him. I don't want to watch that programme, the title alone turns my stomach. I used to think that it was ok, I even said the well used phrase "I was smacked and it did me no harm" but after reading around this I have changed my views completely.

 

[cassi]

I think that smacking teaches children violence is ok if someone does something that annoys you. What do you do when the smacking doesn't work? Smacking didn't work with me and my mum only stopped when I started hitting her back. It didn't make me respect her any more for it, in fact the opposite. I remember being hit and the humiliation of it, also the resentment of being hit when something had happened that I had nothing to do with. The women who say they smack and are proud of it are vile.

I agree. I will never smack Seren as I just don't agree its necessary. If my partner did something that was naughty or one of my friends did I would not even consider smacking them, so why would I want to do that to my child?. My mum smacked me on a couple of occasions and I just had no respect for her when she did that. My OH was smacked by his dad and one day when he was older he turned round and squared up to him, they are best of friends now but OH says that he hated his dad for smacking him. I don't want to watch that programme, the title alone turns my stomach. I used to think that it was ok, I even said the well used phrase "I was smacked and it did me no harm" but after reading around this I have changed my views completely.

'

I also agree, i am sick of seeing people smack their children and scream at the top of their voices at them, i mean what the hell! what do they think that is teaching the children..Oh and then they will tell their children off for shouting, by shouting at them ...hmmm oh and if their child smacks another child, they will tell that child off by guess what? smacking them!!...eh???!?!?!?! dont smack, smacking is wrong! *smack* I just dont get what theory of life some people go by i really dont.

When i saw that advert i must admit i stood in shock, but apparently watching themselves doing it has made them parents think twice...

 

[Dee1985]

im looking forward to watch the show. as it will give me a more clear picture about smacking. i was smacked and i respected my parents still and would enver raise a hand to them i knew i was naughty so i deserved it, made me learn to not be naughty, but then again when i got grounded that hurt me more.

But i dont wnt to smack my children i think there is nothing worse then a mother f'ing and blinding at children and swipping them hard around the head.

i have been in 2minds about how to punish Dior some times she can be very nasty and naughty and she knows she is doing it. i try the "no" and telling her in a harsh voice but it dont work. but i think maybe she is to young for any form of punishment?

i tryed for a few days tapping her hand and in return she hits me back

ONE THING I AM VERY AGAINST THOUGH, IF A PARENT DECIDES TO DO CONTROLLED HAND SMACKING THATS FINE BUT I HATE PARENTS SMACKING OUT OF ANGER

 

[hels]

Again, this is very personal. And if someone uses this technique as punishment, thats their choice. Personally, it wouldnt be my choice. My DH has been pretty inspirational as a Daddy, His SS is 6 and can be a little handful at times . If he is naughty, sulky or cheeky DH takes hold of both SS hands, comes down to his level and explains why it is naughty, or not nice. He then suggests that he goes away and thinks about this actions. 9/10 SS comes back to give hugs and appologies. My DH is a big man, the thought of him smacking a wee 6 year old is scary to me never mind his son.
Seeing how fantastic he was with SS in all situations made me want his babies LOL!!!!
It will be an interesting programme to watch. My mum smacked me once or twice, only when i was REALLY naughty. I had much respect for my mum and dad.

 

[violet-glow]

I used to get smacked when I was younger and told myself I would never do that to my kids. But sometimes I think you have to, dont get me wrong all I do is tap him on his hand, not hard and he goes nuts. Otherwise he doesnt listen. (I rarely do this) We've started using the 'naughty corner' alot more now ...but zack isnt dumb and knows how to work us

 

[lauramumof2]

I think in general that smacking is not okay. I think there are other ways to deal with it. I have smacked once and wont again. It was fruitless and made me feel awful. It didnt alter her behaviour, I want her to understand through words what I mean, not with a smack.

If she ran out in front of a car I cant say I wouldnt smack her though but it would be probably because I would have got fright.

No offence to people who do, I dont really think a tap on the had or bum is really bad its just not what I want to do.

 

[PyscoFalcon]

Some kids need it.

However I'd use it as a last resort. If time outs and groundings, taking things away dosen't work then they'd get a slap on the butt.

I was beaten by both my parents and brother, even belted - it just made me scared of them and I don't want my kid to be scared of me.

On the other hand I won't let them walk all over me either.

 

[claireabell]

I was chatting with a friend of mine about this subject today and another way she looked at it was that years ago when it was acceptable for teachers to smack or use the cane on children alot of children were better behaved and were to scared to be naughty in schools...now she said the children are hitting the teachers....although my argument was that those school years from years back when have probably damaged alot of children mentally I can see her point.
My ex partner's daughter has never been smacked in her life yet because she couldn't get her own way and has totally gone off the rails, she had my ex partner arrested twice for assaulting her....he hadn't laid a finger on her....the charges were dropped as her story didn't match up but I was mortified that she had done this and my ex was heartbroken as he would never lay a finger on his children, he was belted by his father - he and his father haven't spoken in 20 years and he has no respect at all for his father.
I agree with people that say violence breeds violence.....do you think there is any difference in a tap on the hand and hitting?
I'm going to watch the programme to see what the pro and anti arguments are about.....
xxxx

 

[weestar21]

i voted yes

we were smacked as children and it never done us any harm and all this naughty step stuff doesnt work with Adele at all she just laughs and runs of or just copys everything you say to her if your giving her a row so yes i do smack her.

One bad time we were in town and she was kicking and punching me because i wouldnt buy her a £25 pooh jewlery box so i took her by the arm she bit me so hard so i smacked her on the bare leg and she stopped automaticlly and has never behaved like this again.

everyone has differnt views on this matter and i personally think that if your child is behaving really badly then yes but as some of you have pointed out just smacking through pure anger then no thats not ok

but at the end of the day everyone has differnt ways of dealing with different situations

 

[Cat&Noah]

The jury is out on this one for me at the mo. I know that I will not do the whole little smack think, cause I think if anything that is worse, if you just keep giving them a little tap on the hand or round the head or what have you, your asking for them to do it back to you or other kids if they dont get things their way, and it ends up a slippery slope. If they are doing something they shouldnt I would grab hold of their hands and restain them and speak to them in serious term to get them to calm down. And go for the whole naughty step etc. My parents didnt slap me or my brother but if we ever did anything seriously naughty and I mean really dangerous or silly my daad would give us a proper hiding. I dont like my dad now or talk do him, but thats not because of him doing that. It is possible in extreme circumstances that I might bend them over and give them a prober smack, cause this isnt the sort of thing that they are as likly to copy themselves. But they do learn that what they have done is very serious. But as I think about it I hate and I mean hate the idea of ever doing this to a child, as I dont want my children to fear me or hate me. So I would hope that it would never get to the stage where I would feel the need to smack them.

 

[little*red]

I voted yes for this, but after reading some of the replies i don't know why i did, as i personally would not want to smack my own children.
My OH and I are planning to use some of the naughty step kind of thing with our children, but more importantly we want our children to know how important respecting people is.
As said before, i hate it when you see parents shouting/screaming/swearing at their naughty kids and/or eventually hitting them, its such a viciuos cycle and never teaches kids respect, punishment does not encourage good behaviour.
having said this i was smacked as a child (although never by my father,as my mother would not allow this) if i was naughty in a supermarket my mum would give me a slight nip on the arm to let me know i was being bad.
I understand if parents occassionally have to use smacking as a means of controlling their childs behaviour, but i don't agree with this being the only way to deal with naughty kids.

 

[jenna]

i think a gentle tap is ok, not a full on smack though!

 

[Urchin]

I voted no.
I have smacked Mason maybe 3 times ever, each time was when he did something very dangreous, like running off near a busy road or something, so I gave him a light tap on the hand. This hasn't happened for about 2 years and I don't ever intend on doing it again, I don't see the point, if something is so important to teach a child, then I think it's better to sit them and explain to them what they have done wrong, and find a punishment that will make them think about it more, like taking toys away.

 

[beanie]

Decided to watch it, its not comfortable viewing is it? All I can say is especially with the statement "don't f*%$king swear at me"

I was hoping they would use more "normal" parents to show how they smack but its like the Jeremy Kyle show and Supernanny rolled into one.

 

[sarah113]

i think a tap on the hand is ok as long as you dont really hurt them, i dont smack my children as they are all still babies and i dont think i ever would smack them either.

sarahxx

 

[cassi]

i have moved myself away from the tv because this programme is really angering me, i just want to go on there and ask them if smacking works so well then why are their children so badly behaved?!?!?!

The only ones i think is working a little bit are the christian family who are not smacking out of anger but stopping their children, remaining calm and smacking them, then after telling them why they did it, getting a genuine sorry and then giving them a hug. However i dont agree in the way they smack, i think their children are smart enough to just be told off.