lol typical man, i just wondered, its very rarely that we smack we use naughty step too but i know if i said to my husband u dont smack because i say so, he would hit the roof which i think is fair enough, i think there is a compromise to everything its just finding it
Raising baby Issues - Smacking RANT ALERT
- Thread starter Tillytots
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Tegala-7thMarch08
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mary70 said:
he does anything i say lol allways has done hes a right push over
i feel guilty for saying that now
we havnt really talked about it yet but i dont think his parents will have touched him when he was younger and hes not violent at all, i've never even seen him properly angry yet so i think he'll agree with me.
I'm determined that i will not lay a finger on my child, i was always smacked and like tilly spent some of my time with finger marks on my legs from being hit so hard, it made me determined never to do that to my own child and it's taught my parents as well that it doesnt work, i dont think they're ever smacked my sister, and if they did my brother it was a long time ago.
I respect what my OH may have to say on the subject but its one of those things i feel i'll never back down on.
Clare x
I'm determined that i will not lay a finger on my child, i was always smacked and like tilly spent some of my time with finger marks on my legs from being hit so hard, it made me determined never to do that to my own child and it's taught my parents as well that it doesnt work, i dont think they're ever smacked my sister, and if they did my brother it was a long time ago.
I respect what my OH may have to say on the subject but its one of those things i feel i'll never back down on.
Clare x
I think it really depends on the individual as to what they feel would be the best form of discipline. There is no right or wrong answer here...its down to you as a parent and what works best with the child.
On that note, I was smacked as a child - but only if I was bloody naughty. My dad put the fear of God into me about certain things (like falling pregnant young and doing drugs) whilst growing up and that was worse than getting smacked!! I didnt do any of those things as he threatened to disown me and that set me on the straight and narrow as I didnt want to disappoint him or end up on the streets (not that I would have as he couldnt hurt a fly - but he said those things to scare me and they did)
My mother in law on the other hand used to prick her kids hands with a pin if they touched stuff she said not to. I have warned her with her life that she will NEVER EVER do that to my children or there will be serious consequences!!!
On that note, I was smacked as a child - but only if I was bloody naughty. My dad put the fear of God into me about certain things (like falling pregnant young and doing drugs) whilst growing up and that was worse than getting smacked!! I didnt do any of those things as he threatened to disown me and that set me on the straight and narrow as I didnt want to disappoint him or end up on the streets (not that I would have as he couldnt hurt a fly - but he said those things to scare me and they did)
My mother in law on the other hand used to prick her kids hands with a pin if they touched stuff she said not to. I have warned her with her life that she will NEVER EVER do that to my children or there will be serious consequences!!!
mrsbrickelltobe
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i do not agree with smacking either. dont wanna offend anyone but i think smacking is an easy way out for parents if they are not capable of disciplining their children properly.
it gets them no where other other than reinforcing that violence is ok. im sorry but i too was smacked way too hard as a child,. often with a belt or stick and perhaps this is why i bother to look for alternative ways to discipline my child, as i can clearly remember it all too well.
good luck on agreeing on another form of discipline x
it gets them no where other other than reinforcing that violence is ok. im sorry but i too was smacked way too hard as a child,. often with a belt or stick and perhaps this is why i bother to look for alternative ways to discipline my child, as i can clearly remember it all too well.
good luck on agreeing on another form of discipline x
Little miss pink
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I was smacked absolutley loads as a child by my mum and I remember some of the times quite clearly. and never once did i think it was violence or abuse etc etc. I remember I always just thought "oopps you were warned and you over stepped the mark again". Mum would always give me three warnings to stop whatever the naughty thing was i was doing and if i chose to continue i would get a smack and sent to my room for a time, like i said before i knew why it was happening and it did make me think twice/hard about continuing my behaviour. And as for my relationship with my mum, she is my best friend, confidant and sole rock in my life we are so so close and everyone sees this, so it hasn't had a negative effect on our relationship either.
And I also hand on heart believe that the mix of the respect i held for my mother along with the fear of disappointment/response is behind why i refused drugs and all the other bad things through the years. although by that age i wasn't smacked anymore i remember being scared of my parents finding out and being upset and angry at me (scared in a good way, as in respect not living in fear of reprisal). While my peers had no respect for their parents and a "what are you going to do about it" attitude.
My mum's smackings were always on the bum and I never was in any pain from it apart from a little tingle it was more the embarrassment that worked for me.
And i knew clearly the difference from being smacked to abuse and violencce as i remember my friends parents used to slap him in the face and hit him hard across the back and sometimes with belts and as i child i remember been horrified and telling my parents about it.
In my experience smacking is fine, i think the difference/problem lies in how people interpret what is smacking and the different levels of force that is used etc etc.
LMP x
(sorry for rambling)
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And I also hand on heart believe that the mix of the respect i held for my mother along with the fear of disappointment/response is behind why i refused drugs and all the other bad things through the years. although by that age i wasn't smacked anymore i remember being scared of my parents finding out and being upset and angry at me (scared in a good way, as in respect not living in fear of reprisal). While my peers had no respect for their parents and a "what are you going to do about it" attitude.
My mum's smackings were always on the bum and I never was in any pain from it apart from a little tingle it was more the embarrassment that worked for me.
And i knew clearly the difference from being smacked to abuse and violencce as i remember my friends parents used to slap him in the face and hit him hard across the back and sometimes with belts and as i child i remember been horrified and telling my parents about it.
In my experience smacking is fine, i think the difference/problem lies in how people interpret what is smacking and the different levels of force that is used etc etc.
LMP x
(sorry for rambling)
[/b]
I am lucky as my OH is as anti smacking as me so we have found disciplinig a clear cut area. We were both smacked - not hit, but smacked and it only ever made me angry against my mum and taught me that if I did something I would get hit whereas we both want our children to do the right thing because they want to not because they fear being hit.
It is important to talk about this with your family though, I have had to say to all my family that I will not accept anyone smacking my child
or threatening to, and luckily they use the same tatics as we do so Seren gets a consistent message
It is important to talk about this with your family though, I have had to say to all my family that I will not accept anyone smacking my child
or threatening to, and luckily they use the same tatics as we do so Seren gets a consistent message
