Smacking

[mrs_tommo22]

Nice to know that this topic is turning into a slanging match.

I do not smack my child hard at all and never enough to mark him but if he runs across the road and disapears from site and he knows thats wrong then i will continue tio smack him as i do not want to turn the corner one day and find him hit by a car or worse not find him at all.

Saying that though hes been much better recently

 

[Lou]

Who is having a slanging match?

Reminds me of the ear piercing thread

I have nothing more to say about this subject. I think I've voiced my opinion in a mature and reasonable way. Shame I went to the trouble of posting some valid replies but didnt get a response. Obviously they weren't genuinely interested after all.

Lou

 

[lauramumof2]

I feel guilty if I smack out of temper but not if I am in control and its done with prior warning being given. I very very rarely have to but I will and I will do it.

I done it through temper a few weeks ago and felt like a bully. It didnt get me anywhere as doing it when your mad I think undermines it.

 

[lauramumof2]

At the moment Isaac has a thing about our fire guard. It doesn't matter what I say or do he wants to grab it and drag it across the living room. I have tried being stern and telling him its naughty, I've tried distracting him and removing him from the room but the only thing that works is for me to put the guard under the stairs till he goes to bed then put it back infront of the fire. I could shout at him when he touches it and I could smack him but why cause unneccessary upset?
Lou

Surely it would be better to have the fire guard there. Couldnt you nail it to the wall with hooks.
I think in that case the upset would be neccessary.

 

[Freya]

Horses for courses I think.

I just want to respond to the 'all smacking does is teach them how to smack/hit' I have never (yet) smacked my son - however in temper he does smack me or his sister - where has he learnt this - certainly not from the people who look after him! I think it is an instinctive thing in him.

And I was smacked as a child (a lot ) HOWEVER I was never suspended from school for smacking/hitting anyone in fact I can never remember hitting anyone in temper or otherwise (I feared my mum too much because I would have been 'smacked' by her).

I sometimes think we are too fearful to discipline our children and I feel that sometimes this shows in our society BUT I am not advocating going back to victorian times either

Oh and one thing I have learned as a mother is never to judge other mothers too harshly because every child is different and you just never know how yours will turn out.

 

[Lou]

At the moment Isaac has a thing about our fire guard. It doesn't matter what I say or do he wants to grab it and drag it across the living room. I have tried being stern and telling him its naughty, I've tried distracting him and removing him from the room but the only thing that works is for me to put the guard under the stairs till he goes to bed then put it back infront of the fire. I could shout at him when he touches it and I could smack him but why cause unneccessary upset?
Lou

Surely it would be better to have the fire guard there. Couldnt you nail it to the wall with hooks.
I think in that case the upset would be neccessary.

Hi

Its a original cast iron open fire that we no longer use since I had Isaac so the guard is a decorative item. Its not an electric or gas fire. Isaac also has an open cast iron fireplace in his bedroom and because it has no guard he doesn't touch it atall. I find with Isaac it easier to remove temptation where possible. Childproofing the house is essential I think.

Lou

 

[lauramumof2]

At the moment Isaac has a thing about our fire guard. It doesn't matter what I say or do he wants to grab it and drag it across the living room. I have tried being stern and telling him its naughty, I've tried distracting him and removing him from the room but the only thing that works is for me to put the guard under the stairs till he goes to bed then put it back infront of the fire. I could shout at him when he touches it and I could smack him but why cause unneccessary upset?
Lou

Surely it would be better to have the fire guard there. Couldnt you nail it to the wall with hooks.
I think in that case the upset would be neccessary.

Hi

Its a original cast iron open fire that we no longer use since I had Isaac so the guard is a decorative item. Its not an electric or gas fire. Isaac also has an open cast iron fireplace in his bedroom and because it has no guard he doesn't touch it atall. I find with Isaac it easier to remove temptation where possible. Childproofing the house is essential I think.

Lou

childproofing, haha, I had my last fireplace in the old house covered in that really thick bubble wrap. It was certainly a talking point. Looked quite funky.

 

[Lou]

Horses for courses I think.

I just want to respond to the 'all smacking does is teach them how to smack/hit' I have never (yet) smacked my son - however in temper he does smack me or his sister - where has he learnt this - certainly not from the people who look after him! I think it is an instinctive thing in him.

And I was smacked as a child (a lot ) HOWEVER I was never suspended from school for smacking/hitting anyone in fact I can never remember hitting anyone in temper or otherwise (I feared my mum too much because I would have been 'smacked' by her).

I sometimes think we are too fearful to discipline our children and I feel that sometimes this shows in our society BUT I am not advocating going back to victorian times either

Oh and one thing I have learned as a mother is never to judge other mothers too harshly because every child is different and you just never know how yours will turn out.

And I said I had nothing else to say....

Your son, or any child for that matter my hit out at grown ups or other children out of instinct but the difference is we are adults who can control our emotions and make a decision to smack or not. Children don't know any different unless we teach them that smacking is bad. Surely by smacking a child who instinctively smacks is telling him 'yeah go with your instincts, smack away'!

As for judging people we all do it, its part of life.

Lou

 

[Lou]

At the moment Isaac has a thing about our fire guard. It doesn't matter what I say or do he wants to grab it and drag it across the living room. I have tried being stern and telling him its naughty, I've tried distracting him and removing him from the room but the only thing that works is for me to put the guard under the stairs till he goes to bed then put it back infront of the fire. I could shout at him when he touches it and I could smack him but why cause unneccessary upset?
Lou

Surely it would be better to have the fire guard there. Couldnt you nail it to the wall with hooks.
I think in that case the upset would be neccessary.

Hi

Its a original cast iron open fire that we no longer use since I had Isaac so the guard is a decorative item. Its not an electric or gas fire. Isaac also has an open cast iron fireplace in his bedroom and because it has no guard he doesn't touch it atall. I find with Isaac it easier to remove temptation where possible. Childproofing the house is essential I think.

Lou

childproofing, haha, I had my last fireplace in the old house covered in that really thick bubble wrap. It was certainly a talking point. Looked quite funky.

I couldn't relax in the same room as bubble wrap without popping it. What was the fireplace made out of? Broken glass?

Lou

 

[beanie]

smacking does not = discipline. Even though I don't smack my child she is still disciplined.

I don't think this thread has become a slanging match, there have been some vry interesting posts made. I hope it isn't locked.

 

[Lou]

smacking does not = discipline. Even though I don't smack my child she is still disciplined.

I don't think this thread has become a slanging match, there have been some vry interesting posts made. I hope it isn't locked.

I find this thread interesting too. And beanie I didn't know you were expecting again Congratulations

Lou

 

[Misslarue]

I don't think this thread has become a slanging match, there have been some vry interesting posts made. I hope it isn't locked.

Me too. Sometimes difference of opinions can be mistaken for arguments. To me, someone who is yet undecided on the whole 'smacking' thing, its been a very interesting read.

 

[beanie]

smacking does not = discipline. Even though I don't smack my child she is still disciplined.

I don't think this thread has become a slanging match, there have been some vry interesting posts made. I hope it isn't locked.

I find this thread interesting too. And beanie I didn't know you were expecting again Congratulations

Lou

thanks hun, it was a shock to us too

 

[Lou]

smacking does not = discipline. Even though I don't smack my child she is still disciplined.

I don't think this thread has become a slanging match, there have been some vry interesting posts made. I hope it isn't locked.

I find this thread interesting too. And beanie I didn't know you were expecting again Congratulations

Lou

thanks hun, it was a shock to us too

lol a happy shock I hope!

What about the 'not getting pg while you breast feed' myth then?

Lou

 

[beanie]

haha. We went out to celebrate a friends birthday, the first time in years I goit very very drunk and the last time for a while now.

Yes it is a happy shock, we saw the baby on Monday and we are both getting excited now.

 

[Lou]

yeah it will be lovely. Just think about all things you worried about the first time round but now you know what you are doing.

Piece of p*ss!

Alot of people are having babies one after the other now aren't they? I think is hormones. I have felt very broody a good few times. Especially at playgroup when I hold other people babies.

oh no I feel it now!

Lou

 

[kellysomer]

Lou,

Thanks for answering my question without turning it into an an
arguement, it is a interesting thread and i have actually learned quite a few pointers from you and other posters.

Do you find that Isaac understands when you say he wont do something if hes naughty, ie you wont go to nursery anymore if you do that? I cant think of anything that i could use for Isla, she doesnt go to nursery so cant use that, and i dont think something like 'i'll take away blankie is fair'? as that is her comfort zone. Any ideas? Also Isla pays no attention to my 'stern voice' which is actually very stern as i was in the army and used to drill squads of men and women! I think this is the problem with my discipline as i was brought up very strictly and having been in the army and so seem to be the same with Isla.

on the plus side we dont have a fireplace to worry about (cheap 60's housing)

 

[Eveadel]

This is an interesting poll.

Im not judgemental about any mothers decision.

Does anyone have the supernanny book or a book that is as good?

 

[Sammystar]

I would never judge or say a mum was 'abusing' her child if she smacks. I know how hard it can be!

I've got the Supernanny book, Little Angels DVD and CD, watched The House of Tiny Tearaways, tried the whatsername Ford methods......We've got a naughty room, we've withdrawn favours, used the ignore bad and praise good method EVERYTHING and still my little angels can mutate into little devils in a whisper for ZERO reason!
Luckily they tend to return back to being angels after a while

Sometimes I even put MYSELF in the naughty room, just to get away from them
Actually, that method seems to shock them and be most effective!

 

[Eveadel]

I would never judge or say a mum was 'abusing' her child if she smacks. I know how hard it can be!

I've got the Supernanny book, Little Angels DVD and CD, watched The House of Tiny Tearaways, tried the whatsername Ford methods......We've got a naughty room, we've withdrawn favours, used the ignore bad and praise good method EVERYTHING and still my little angels can mutate into little devils in a whisper for ZERO reason!
Luckily they tend to return back to being angels after a while

Sometimes I even put MYSELF in the naughty room, just to get away from them
Actually, that method seems to shock them and be most effective!

How interesting, the last method works the best!!!

Do you have a preferred method though?