Raising baby Issues - Smacking RANT ALERT

[Tillytots]

Jeez Im so pee'd off about something....

topic being Smacking.

The other night me and OH were talking and he tells me he thinks smacking should be used in disciplining a child. I seriously DONT Its one of those things I feel SOOO strongly about. I was smacked as a child - HARD smacks too. I remember not being able to do P.E because I had black and Blue clear as day hand print bruises on my little legs

I feel smacking does nothing to discipline a child AT ALL! Violence isnt going to teach a child anything. OH says he was smacked as a child and it never did him any harm but it did me! I asked him what it taught him and he said to behave... all smacking taught me was parents could be very violent with a child when their lives were going wrong or they was having a bad day etc. I was never really naughty, I just did things like answer back sometimes and general things little ones do.

So...I cleary told OH that he is never to touch MY child. I dont live with him atm anyway as some of you know but GRRRRRR I'd still like us to be a unit when it comes to raising our little boy and clearly this isnt gonna happen

Rant over

xx

 

[mary70]

good you got it sorted hun, i put my hands up i do smack,not to the extent you were smacked but i do smack legs and hands but only as a last resort and it doesnt happen very often but i do agree that you both need to be on the same page

 

[Manda&Thomas]

aww hun sorry hes peed you off again
i wont have any problem with smacking my son if hes been a git!!
ive smacked my nephews in the past if they have been way out of control but i have boundrys as to how hard and where a child gets smacked
id never bruise a child thats just bad
manda xx

 

[Sophie1102]

I smack my daughters on the hand, I only do it as a last resort. My eldest never needs one it's my youngest that really pushes her luck!!

I was smacked a lot as a child and I made the descision not to ever hit my girls like I was and I still stand by that. I remember if we were told off the stomped up the stairs to our room my mum would hit us full on, on the back of the legs each step we went (19 in total) then if we slammed our door she would rench it open and hit us again!!

I know we probably shouldn't have stomped and slammed the door but that is no reason to hit us so much!!!

 

[freepie]

I got smacked as a child, only once or twice - it did me no harm - nothing anywhere near the extent you did!!! that sounds more like child abuse!

you just have to do what you feel comfortable with!

 

[Suzie and Faith]

I'm anti-smacking too and so is my OH (I just asked him).

I just don't see how violence is a good way to show a child how to behave - it surely teaches them that it's ok to hit.

 

[*Cupcake*]

My dad (who didnt live with me) smacked me once that I remember and it didnt help stop me from being naughty. Infact I think it made me worse behaved and I didnt speak to him again untill he took me back to my Moms the next day.
I think naughty corner and removing toys and such worked alot better.

 

[Tillytots]

I'm anti-smacking too and so is my OH (I just asked him).

I just don't see how violence is a good way to show a child how to behave - it surely teaches them that it's ok to hit.

that how I feel. I know alot of people smack their children but personally I wouldnt do it. Even if I hadnt been smacked as a child I still wouldnt agree with it. Its the same as when people shout at their kids to stop shouting

Im not saying Il be the perfect parent but somethings are just common sense to me. I am the eldest of 6 kids and Ive seen them raised in different ways and the ones who werent smacked are far better behaved and have a better temprement to the ones who were. Infact they are angels compared to the ones who have been shouted at and been smacked.

 

[Tillytots]

My dad (who didnt live with me) smacked me once that I remember and it didnt help stop me from being naughty. Infact I think it made me worse behaved and I didnt speak to him again untill he took me back to my Moms the next day.
I think naughty corner and removing toys and such worked alot better.

hell yeah removing toys is a winner! thats my choice of tactics I think kids understand that - its on their level whereas violence and shouting isnt. I was far more upset to have toys or sweets taken away than I was to be whacked

 

[Sally+Baby]

I personally wouldn't smack my child, but I think people should remember there is a difference between smacking and hitting.

 

[Babylicious]

I have previously smacked Paris but there really is no point, what are you teaching your child? That it's ok to smack. The naughty step works much better

 

[MissSara]

I was never smacked as a child, although i do admit for the teenager i grew into i should have been smacked....lol
But i pretty much got away with murder, what you would call a spoilt brat and i didn't want my child turning out like that.

I don't smack harrison all i have to do is count to 3 and by the time i am at three he has done what he is told to do.
Although i'm not against a tap on the hand, as i don't see that as being harmfull.

 

[YoungMummy]

im pro smaking and so's my boyfriend. if my mum hadnt smacked me i would hav been a brat it put me in my place and made me so strong to this day. i not saying smack ur child black n blue but a smack on the hand or bottem aint gna kill them and trust they will learn my mum smacked me n my brother but not my lil sis cause shes the good child my brother smakes his children and now all he has 2 do is sa he will and they behave. smaking is somethingmore parents need 2 use.

 

[Squiglet]

I've never needed to smack Tia. I have only done it once and it was when I caught her trying to stick her fingers in a plug socket and well I freaked out... I screamed too and the sound I think upset her much more than the smacking. (oh and the pretending to smack her bum when she's messing around calling me a smelly bum)

I was smacked a lot as a child... It only served to reduce my self confidence to zero. I don't think I would have been a brat, I needed to talk to someone, to confide in them... but I was afraid of what wrath it would incurr and I promised myself I would never do that to my child. I want them to trust in me.

I know when Tia is acting up its because there is something more behind it than just, I'm a brat. I make it clear that her behaviour sometimes is unacceptable, but refusing to look at her, acknowledge her, cuddle her and occasionally I will even raise my voice, although the latter reduces her to an emotional gibbering wreck. Eventually she comes round and will ask to talk to me, and we get to the route of the problem (usually "daddy" issues) .

As a toddler, I never had that many issues with her either. Tantrums were handled one way, warning, warning, warning then no speaking to her, no reasoning with her, just picking her up and either carrying her where I needed to go, or taking her out of the situation.

There have been times where I have had to physically restrain her when she's been having full blown paddies, but tbh, smacking would have just made the situation worse. Smacking only increases the mood the child is in, rather than calm them down, and when they are at risk of hurting themselves you need them to calm down asap. Again no talking, reasoning etc.. that just exasperates their already over stimulated moods.

 

[muppetmummy]

I've smacked James a couple times when he was younger but learnt that it doesn't work with him, he just laughed and thought it was funny! I find confiscating toys and withholding treats works a lot better.
He's very good overall though so it's not often I have to tell him off

 

[Tegala-7thMarch08]

im not going to smack! i wouldnt put my child threw stuff i went threw.

and as for his father if i ever hear of him touching my child i wud decapatate his head

 

[Happybunny]

Me and OH are very anti-smacking and shouting. There are plenty of non violent, non aggressive ways to manage a child's unwanted behaviour.

 

[mary70]

Can i just ask all the ladies that are saying that the dads wont smack their children are you with the fathers and if so what happened to both parents having an input into their childs upbringing?. i just wondered what your oh have had to say about you making the rules

 

[debecca]

I am definitely anti-smacking but I had quite a violent father which is probably why...

 

[Tillytots]

Can i just ask all the ladies that are saying that the dads wont smack their children are you with the fathers and if so what happened to both parents having an input into their childs upbringing?. i just wondered what your oh have had to say about you making the rules

Even though Im not living with OH ( he may be here when baby is born...? ) I said to him if he can give me an explantion of what smacking teaches a child and explain exactly how the child will benefit from it then Id be willing to listen but until then he knows what he can do and I knew full well he wouldnt come up with any such reason because there isnt one.

I brought the subject up again and I think we now agree Smacking isnt an option. I think he understood the part where I said the only thing smacking your child is going to do is cause them physical pain Why would you want to hurt them? he agreed that he wouldnt and that it is far better to use other methods such as the naughty step etc.

My OH is so stubborn....even if he knows Im right he will argue a point for the sake of it and he hates to back down such hard work sometimes!!!