Terrified history will repeat itself!

Discussion in 'Coping with Miscarriage & Loss' started by MustangMomma, Apr 6, 2021.

  1. MustangMomma

    MustangMomma Member

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    I have eight confirmed miscarriages and at least two suspected additional miscarriages.

    I've never carried to term.

    I haven't been able to conceive since 2011 and have had several doctors tell me that it is extremely unlikely I would ever be able to conceive again.

    I have endometriosis, thrombophilia, a lot of internal scar tissue from assault and trauma.. as well as scar tissue from my prior pregnancies.

    I am 36 years old and was considered extremely high risk at 30.

    Somehow.. I'm pregnant!

    I had the first exam, my second round of HCG testing and the first introvaginal ultrasound, done yesterday.

    This is a viable, uterine pregnancy with fetal development and a yolk sac (not ectopic or nonviable)!

    I'm 6 weeks and one day!

    I've started daily lovenox, progesterone and aspirin... In hopes of keeping my body from attacking the baby and triggering a miscarriage.

    I want so badly to be excited, but I am simply terrified that history will repeat itself!

    Does this anxiety, or fear, ever go away?
     
    Kitana and Maza1993 like this.
  2. miamia

    miamia Well-Known Member

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    try to stay positive as it's very crucial for the health of your baby. Congrats on yr pregnancy
     
    MustangMomma likes this.
  3. LRN

    LRN Well-Known Member

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    Congratulations
    Xx
     
    MustangMomma likes this.
  4. Kitana

    Kitana Moderator

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    Congrats!! The feeling doesn't really go away entirely. I found I was blissfully unaware of the dangers during my first pregnancy and terrified with my second after a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks.
    The moments you will feel the most reassured is when you start feeling the baby, but then you get worried again if you think you haven't felt the baby enough.
    Hang in there hun, it's easy for someone to tell you to relax but the worry is always there in the back of your mind.
    Have a happy and healthy 9 months!x
     
    MustangMomma likes this.
  5. miamia

    miamia Well-Known Member

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    agree, it's easy to say (write) and difficult to do
     
    MustangMomma likes this.
  6. MustangMomma

    MustangMomma Member

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    Thank you ladies!!

    So far... So good... No signs of miscarriage or failure. I have appointments every two weeks and my next (2nd) appointment is next Friday the 16th!

    Everything looked good the first visit... Praying for a heartbeat on this one!
     
    Kitana likes this.

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