chellieboo
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This diary is written intially looking back at what has happened over the last few months for us in our TTC journey. This first bit is gonna be long as i try to get it up-to-date, please bear with me.
I hope you find it interesting reading.
MONDAY 9th APRIL
Well I thought I'd start a diary for two reasons;
firstly so I can get stuff off my chest and sound off about stuff.
secondly so that I can look back on this as my journey progresses.
A brief intro.
Met DH 8 years ago at uni and have been together ever since. We got married in 2005 and decided to start TTC in Sept 2006.
After TTC for 6 months with no success my DH told me something that he had been keeping to himself because he was worried how I would react and hoped he would never have to tell me - he had undescended testes when he was younger and had an op. to sort it out. after much talking, searching for info on the net, and crying, we have made an appointment at the doctors to find out more details as his parents have never spoken to him about it and he doesn't want to talk to them. The appointment is a week on Thursday and I'm hoping that not only will the doctor be able to go through DH's medical notes but also arrange for us to have initial tests done to determine our fertility and what our options (if any) are.
I told my parents and sisters this weekend that we were having some tests done but nothing more as DH feels uncomfortable about people knowing about his history. I'm still hoping that perhaps he'll talk to his parents soon.
At the moment I'm ranging from being angry with him for not telling me before, to being upset at the prospect of not having any children of our own, to feeling positive that at least we are taking the first step to understanding the level of our problem, to dreading the appointment in case the worst happens.
Trying to maintain a PMA and give plenty of support to DH to help him deal with it to.
Thats all for now. will hopefully update this once we've been to the doctors next week xx
WEDNESDAY 18th APRIL
well doctors appointment tomorrow. am hoping he'll ask for a SA, FSH and CD21 blood test.
Wish us luck
THURSDAY 19th APRIL
Well we've seen the doctor and it went OK but not as well as I'd planned. Found out about DH's history......op on undescended testes no.1 at 6 yrs old, and on no.2 at 7 yrs old. He has given DH pot and instructions for producing a SA sample....can take it to lab any weekday between 8.30 and 4pm and must be there within 60 mins, seems quite do-able as we only live 15mins drive from hospital.
He said if that result is abnormal then he will probably ask DH to do a second sample and then refer him to a urologist.
If DHs SA result is normal then he will ask me to have tests done, but he won't do my tests until we know DH's result. Was too intimidated to argue - not the most forthcoming GP I've ever seen. He didn't say whether I'd get any tests if DH's result was abnormal, but I guess that would follow the referal possibly?
Now just have to wait for DH to produce his sample and wait on the result.
WEDNESDAY 25th APRIL
Hubby has dropped sperm off to lab, now we just have to wait for results!! Its crazy but I'm so proud of him for producing sample on his first attempt (he's been at work constantly since our docs appt so unable to do it until now)...was really worried that he's suffer performance pressure!!
FRIDAY 27th APRIL
I'm so pathetic......I'm sitting here, my first evening in ages that I haven't had something to be doing and all I can think about is when we'll get DH's SA result. Its only been a few days since he submitted it. I'm getting so annoyed with myself but I can't help worrying about it.
I just wish I could see into the future. I just wanna know if i'm stressing about nothing. someone please give me a slap!!
WEDNESDAY 1st MAY
well SA result back:
He received a call today from the GP who said "I'm calling about your SA- we've got the result back. the count is low, well very low actually. now you have to be referred to a urologist, either chelmsford or west suffolk as you work at ipswich hospital. you'll hear when its been sorted".
and thats it!!!!!
you'll have to excuse any swearing here but to be honest I'm more than a bit pissed off with the GP for how its been handled.
what does he mean by "very low"?? what about the other factors?? and how long can we expect to wait for a referral???
I'm really pissed off cos I got home to find hubby crying.
what happened to a bedside manner and discussing results fully with patients.
I'm gonna call the surgery tomorrow to try and get some more info, but I'm shocked that they didn't make an appointment for hubby so he can ask any questions etc.
still looking on the bright side - we have sperm
if his count is really low will ivf still be an option, or would we have to have icsi?? also if he produces sperm then theres no reason for him to have to undrgo surgical extraction is
there??
Trying to persuade DH that now is a good time to talk to his parents, they are coming over for the bank holiday weekend, as he'll need their support emotionally.
TUESDAY 8th MAY
I don't believe it, I'm apparantly not fat enough!! Just been on the phone to Annie at Bourn Hall about the study they are carrying out at the moment.
They are looking to see if a slow-release bolus is as effective as daily injections for IVF...sounds perfect, and are offering to reduce treatment costs if you take part in the study (which has already been shown to work at other clinics abroad).....but you have to weigh a minimum of 60kg and I'm only 56kg........I knew I should've been eating more pies!!
gutted. Oh well.
WEDNESDAY 9th MAY
Just spoke to the receptionist at my surgery and she says that my CD2 bloodtests are all "normal".
Hooray!!!!
SATURDAY 12th MAY
Well I'm feeling quite positive. We're being sent some information on egg sharing by a couple of fertility clinic close to us, and they sounded very positive when I spoke to them on the phone.
still no date for the urologist, hopefully we'll hear something soon.
WEDNESDAY 16th MAY
Woohoo....went back to GPs today and saw a different doctor, and he's agreed to refer us to ipswich hospital fertility unit!!! yay!!!! still have to wait for the appointment which could be up to 18 weeks apparantly, but at least now I feel that we've been referred to the right person. He also said that if DH wanted to come it to talk through his SA results to make an appointment to see him - I'm just so pleased to have found a doctor at my surgery who is happy to talk to us!!
FRIDAY 7th SEPTEMBER
Gosh! its been a while since I updated my diary. I guess I should summarise the last couple of months or so and get it back up-to-date..
May 31st - got my CD21 progesterone..all A OK.
June 4th - repeat CD2 with estradiol this time as we were told when we phoned a couple of clinics that we'd need this result as well.
June 14th - still nothing from our urology referal.....DH found lump in testicle, decided to sod waiting on the NHS and go private for a urologist. So we booked the appointment that afternoon for 21st June. Now we have to arrange a letter from our GP.
June 19th - Dh went to GPs to sort out new referral letter to private urologist. Unfortunately DH burst into tears in waiting room as he was so worried about the testicular lump and we ended up coming home without seeing anyone. GP phoned us at home and arranged for DH to go straight back to let him look at lump and write letter. When we went back the GP said lump was probably nothing to worry about but we need to see the urologist ASAP, unfortunately it then transpired that there was a mix-up at the clinic and our appointment was moved to the 29th June.
June 25th - got my results back from repeat FSH/LH and E2. FSH/LH fine, E2 a little low, I havent been given no further explanation. I am slightly concerned as to what this means and whether it will affect the success of any fertility treatment but will have to wait to see a specialist to find out what it means.
June 29th - DH finally sees a urologist. Lump is nothing to worry about, an epidydimal cyst. It is suggested DH goes for an operation to see if sperm count can be improved. DH speaks to the urologist privately so I dont really have much of a clue whats going to be done, although he did tell me the urologist says he has good size testes I have such a proud husband!
July 2nd Our letter arrives from NHS urology referral ( a bit too late!). So we cancel the appointment as weve already seen the private urologist.
August 9th - DHs pre-assessment before his operation. everything is fine. MRSA swabs are taken.
August 13th - DH MRSA negative. operation to go ahead as scheduled.
August 20th - DH goes into hospital for operation....we arrive at 12 midday as instructed, he has been nil by mouth since last night, and then we sit and wait and wait and wait and finally he gets taken off at 4pm. General aneasthetic given and I'm told to "sod off" politely for an hour. He's out by 5pm, still woozy from the anaesthetic. Surgeon pops round and says things were more complicated than expected due to the amount of scar tissue, expect it to take a bit longer to heal. He doesnt sound very convinced that itll have been a success. DHs Blood pressure is a bit low so this has to stabilise and he has to pee before we can leave. Huurah, we leave finally leave the hospital at 7.30pm.
Then the worst night ever. DH has had a circumcision (foreskin a bit tight so might be impeeding ejaculation), urethral dilation (scarring present apparantly) and a look to see if they can clear scar tissue to improve sperm flow. anyway, DH spends the whole night struggling to pee cos its so painful, but desperate to pee.....at 5 am we give in and he goes in the bath, great that he's finally managed to pee, but now we have to change his dressing.....not easy to dress a willy!!
September 1st - DH is finally starting to heal....wound oozed and bled for about a week and the end of his willy blistered as its not used to be so exposed all the time. But finally there seems to be some light at the end of the tunnel. We went to the bourn hall open day today which we both found really useful and we both really like it there. So weve booked an egg sharing (donor) consultation for Sept 25th.
And now I'm up to date. we have our appointment at the fertility monitoring unit on the 12th and then our private consultation at bourn hall on the 25th. Sometimes I worry that we are perhaps moving too fast going private already, but then i look back at this diary and see how much time has passed already just waiting for things to happen and i know we are making the right decision for us.
hope this hasn't been too much of a waffle on!
I hope you find it interesting reading.
MONDAY 9th APRIL
Well I thought I'd start a diary for two reasons;
firstly so I can get stuff off my chest and sound off about stuff.
secondly so that I can look back on this as my journey progresses.
A brief intro.
Met DH 8 years ago at uni and have been together ever since. We got married in 2005 and decided to start TTC in Sept 2006.
After TTC for 6 months with no success my DH told me something that he had been keeping to himself because he was worried how I would react and hoped he would never have to tell me - he had undescended testes when he was younger and had an op. to sort it out. after much talking, searching for info on the net, and crying, we have made an appointment at the doctors to find out more details as his parents have never spoken to him about it and he doesn't want to talk to them. The appointment is a week on Thursday and I'm hoping that not only will the doctor be able to go through DH's medical notes but also arrange for us to have initial tests done to determine our fertility and what our options (if any) are.
I told my parents and sisters this weekend that we were having some tests done but nothing more as DH feels uncomfortable about people knowing about his history. I'm still hoping that perhaps he'll talk to his parents soon.
At the moment I'm ranging from being angry with him for not telling me before, to being upset at the prospect of not having any children of our own, to feeling positive that at least we are taking the first step to understanding the level of our problem, to dreading the appointment in case the worst happens.
Trying to maintain a PMA and give plenty of support to DH to help him deal with it to.
Thats all for now. will hopefully update this once we've been to the doctors next week xx
WEDNESDAY 18th APRIL
well doctors appointment tomorrow. am hoping he'll ask for a SA, FSH and CD21 blood test.
Wish us luck
THURSDAY 19th APRIL
Well we've seen the doctor and it went OK but not as well as I'd planned. Found out about DH's history......op on undescended testes no.1 at 6 yrs old, and on no.2 at 7 yrs old. He has given DH pot and instructions for producing a SA sample....can take it to lab any weekday between 8.30 and 4pm and must be there within 60 mins, seems quite do-able as we only live 15mins drive from hospital.
He said if that result is abnormal then he will probably ask DH to do a second sample and then refer him to a urologist.
If DHs SA result is normal then he will ask me to have tests done, but he won't do my tests until we know DH's result. Was too intimidated to argue - not the most forthcoming GP I've ever seen. He didn't say whether I'd get any tests if DH's result was abnormal, but I guess that would follow the referal possibly?
Now just have to wait for DH to produce his sample and wait on the result.
WEDNESDAY 25th APRIL
Hubby has dropped sperm off to lab, now we just have to wait for results!! Its crazy but I'm so proud of him for producing sample on his first attempt (he's been at work constantly since our docs appt so unable to do it until now)...was really worried that he's suffer performance pressure!!
FRIDAY 27th APRIL
I'm so pathetic......I'm sitting here, my first evening in ages that I haven't had something to be doing and all I can think about is when we'll get DH's SA result. Its only been a few days since he submitted it. I'm getting so annoyed with myself but I can't help worrying about it.
I just wish I could see into the future. I just wanna know if i'm stressing about nothing. someone please give me a slap!!
WEDNESDAY 1st MAY
well SA result back:
He received a call today from the GP who said "I'm calling about your SA- we've got the result back. the count is low, well very low actually. now you have to be referred to a urologist, either chelmsford or west suffolk as you work at ipswich hospital. you'll hear when its been sorted".
and thats it!!!!!
you'll have to excuse any swearing here but to be honest I'm more than a bit pissed off with the GP for how its been handled.
what does he mean by "very low"?? what about the other factors?? and how long can we expect to wait for a referral???
I'm really pissed off cos I got home to find hubby crying.
what happened to a bedside manner and discussing results fully with patients.
I'm gonna call the surgery tomorrow to try and get some more info, but I'm shocked that they didn't make an appointment for hubby so he can ask any questions etc.
still looking on the bright side - we have sperm
if his count is really low will ivf still be an option, or would we have to have icsi?? also if he produces sperm then theres no reason for him to have to undrgo surgical extraction is
there??
Trying to persuade DH that now is a good time to talk to his parents, they are coming over for the bank holiday weekend, as he'll need their support emotionally.
TUESDAY 8th MAY
I don't believe it, I'm apparantly not fat enough!! Just been on the phone to Annie at Bourn Hall about the study they are carrying out at the moment.
They are looking to see if a slow-release bolus is as effective as daily injections for IVF...sounds perfect, and are offering to reduce treatment costs if you take part in the study (which has already been shown to work at other clinics abroad).....but you have to weigh a minimum of 60kg and I'm only 56kg........I knew I should've been eating more pies!!
gutted. Oh well.
WEDNESDAY 9th MAY
Just spoke to the receptionist at my surgery and she says that my CD2 bloodtests are all "normal".
Hooray!!!!
SATURDAY 12th MAY
Well I'm feeling quite positive. We're being sent some information on egg sharing by a couple of fertility clinic close to us, and they sounded very positive when I spoke to them on the phone.
still no date for the urologist, hopefully we'll hear something soon.
WEDNESDAY 16th MAY
Woohoo....went back to GPs today and saw a different doctor, and he's agreed to refer us to ipswich hospital fertility unit!!! yay!!!! still have to wait for the appointment which could be up to 18 weeks apparantly, but at least now I feel that we've been referred to the right person. He also said that if DH wanted to come it to talk through his SA results to make an appointment to see him - I'm just so pleased to have found a doctor at my surgery who is happy to talk to us!!
FRIDAY 7th SEPTEMBER
Gosh! its been a while since I updated my diary. I guess I should summarise the last couple of months or so and get it back up-to-date..
May 31st - got my CD21 progesterone..all A OK.
June 4th - repeat CD2 with estradiol this time as we were told when we phoned a couple of clinics that we'd need this result as well.
June 14th - still nothing from our urology referal.....DH found lump in testicle, decided to sod waiting on the NHS and go private for a urologist. So we booked the appointment that afternoon for 21st June. Now we have to arrange a letter from our GP.
June 19th - Dh went to GPs to sort out new referral letter to private urologist. Unfortunately DH burst into tears in waiting room as he was so worried about the testicular lump and we ended up coming home without seeing anyone. GP phoned us at home and arranged for DH to go straight back to let him look at lump and write letter. When we went back the GP said lump was probably nothing to worry about but we need to see the urologist ASAP, unfortunately it then transpired that there was a mix-up at the clinic and our appointment was moved to the 29th June.
June 25th - got my results back from repeat FSH/LH and E2. FSH/LH fine, E2 a little low, I havent been given no further explanation. I am slightly concerned as to what this means and whether it will affect the success of any fertility treatment but will have to wait to see a specialist to find out what it means.
June 29th - DH finally sees a urologist. Lump is nothing to worry about, an epidydimal cyst. It is suggested DH goes for an operation to see if sperm count can be improved. DH speaks to the urologist privately so I dont really have much of a clue whats going to be done, although he did tell me the urologist says he has good size testes I have such a proud husband!
July 2nd Our letter arrives from NHS urology referral ( a bit too late!). So we cancel the appointment as weve already seen the private urologist.
August 9th - DHs pre-assessment before his operation. everything is fine. MRSA swabs are taken.
August 13th - DH MRSA negative. operation to go ahead as scheduled.
August 20th - DH goes into hospital for operation....we arrive at 12 midday as instructed, he has been nil by mouth since last night, and then we sit and wait and wait and wait and finally he gets taken off at 4pm. General aneasthetic given and I'm told to "sod off" politely for an hour. He's out by 5pm, still woozy from the anaesthetic. Surgeon pops round and says things were more complicated than expected due to the amount of scar tissue, expect it to take a bit longer to heal. He doesnt sound very convinced that itll have been a success. DHs Blood pressure is a bit low so this has to stabilise and he has to pee before we can leave. Huurah, we leave finally leave the hospital at 7.30pm.
Then the worst night ever. DH has had a circumcision (foreskin a bit tight so might be impeeding ejaculation), urethral dilation (scarring present apparantly) and a look to see if they can clear scar tissue to improve sperm flow. anyway, DH spends the whole night struggling to pee cos its so painful, but desperate to pee.....at 5 am we give in and he goes in the bath, great that he's finally managed to pee, but now we have to change his dressing.....not easy to dress a willy!!
September 1st - DH is finally starting to heal....wound oozed and bled for about a week and the end of his willy blistered as its not used to be so exposed all the time. But finally there seems to be some light at the end of the tunnel. We went to the bourn hall open day today which we both found really useful and we both really like it there. So weve booked an egg sharing (donor) consultation for Sept 25th.
And now I'm up to date. we have our appointment at the fertility monitoring unit on the 12th and then our private consultation at bourn hall on the 25th. Sometimes I worry that we are perhaps moving too fast going private already, but then i look back at this diary and see how much time has passed already just waiting for things to happen and i know we are making the right decision for us.
hope this hasn't been too much of a waffle on!
to both of you. He is very brave and has had to face a lot more than my DH. Your diary was very moving, i wish my DH would show his emotions sometimes as i feel i dont really know how he feels about this a lot of the time. It must be very hard for him, men seem to find it a lot more difficult talking about things like this than us. My Dh went very quiet when we found out about his low sperm count but insisted everything was ok. 
