Too Much, Please Help. Updated.

[debecca]

I've always got through tough times by working and putting everything I have in to my job.

I take some pride and satisfaction in knowing that I am good at what I do.

To take this away from me just makes me feel like a complete failure on top of everything else that has happened.

What do you do through the employment agency hun?

You're not a failure at all, your work are just being complete ar5es

 

[uknitty]

Have they followed the letter of the law hon? If you had a contract and there are other people in the same job as you then they shouldn't be able to just choose to let you go. I hope you are alright

As I am a temporary worker they can let me go for pretty much any reason.

Apparently more than one days absence in the current climate is unacceptable. Whatever that reason for the absence is.

 

[uknitty]

I've always got through tough times by working and putting everything I have in to my job.

I take some pride and satisfaction in knowing that I am good at what I do.

To take this away from me just makes me feel like a complete failure on top of everything else that has happened.

What do you do through the employment agency hun?

You're not a failure at all, your work are just being complete ar5es

Up until May of this year I worked as an IT Recruitment Consultant

Then I handed in my notice in order to move back to my home town with my B/F. We bought a house and the plan was to make a real go of starting a family.

Since then I have been taking things really easy - especially after the M.C. I have just been doing some call centre work in order to pay the bills.

Why I am so completely gutted is I really wanted to go permanent in this role, and had the EP not happened there would have been no reason why I would not have been offered a perm contract at the end of my probationary period. The role is based literally 5 minutes from where I live, the hours of work fit in perfectly with my lifestyle and other commitments and most of all I really enjoy the role itself.

There aren't too many job opportunities in the area that I live in. To get this role I had to cut huge chunks out of my education and work experience on my CV. There is no chance of doing the role that I used to do in London up here, the only thing that seems a vauge possibility is somehow retraining - Maybe doing a masters or a postgrad in a related subject to my Honors Degree. I dunno. I'm trying so hard to stay positive but it feels like one kick after another.

 

[trixipaws]

omg i'm speechless- that is outrageous!

do ur work kno what the reason is for ur absence??? whats wrong with those people?

i'm so so sorry honey for what youve been thru. only just seen this update

 

[uknitty]

Trixi,

I was completely open with them and more than willing to work the necessary extra hours (unpaid if required) to make up for the time I missed

The email I sent to my line manager pretty much immediately after being discharged from hospital.

Dear You

Please excuse the rather formal e-mail - I hope to speak with you once you have read this mail and have a clearer picture of what has happened over the last few days, however in the first instance it is easier for me to explain things in writing.

A couple of days before Christmas I had a very heavy and painful period. I was concerned that something may be wrong, but as it was the Christmas Holidays I thought it best to take things easy and hopefully things would sort themselves out.

Things had not got any better by the 29th December so I made an appointment to see my GP. When I spoke to her, she said it sounded like I may have an ectopic pregnancy and that I had to go to hospital for a scan. The news of a pregnancy was a complete surprise as my monthly cycle had been normal. Apparently this is all too common in Ectopics, with almost 80% of women with this condition not being diagnosed until they are in acute pain.

An appointment was made for me to attend the Early Pregnancy Assessment Unit on the 30th December, where the diagnosis of Ectopic Pregnancy was confirmed. I was admitted in to hospital, for observation, and to discuss which of the available treatment options would be most suitable for me. I opted to try and avoid surgery, and be managed medically using a drug called "Methotrexate" which is used to dissolve abnormal cells and tissues back in to the body without the need for surgery.

I had the injection to dissolve the pregnancy on 5th January and was sent home. This was followed by a second injection on the 12th January as an outpatient. To the best of my knowledge the ectopic mass was shrinking and the situation was resolving. A number of Doctor's agreed I was physically fit to start work as long as I felt up to it - which I did ! Other than feeling a little bit under the weather I felt well and was really looking forward to throwing myself in to the new role at acme company.

As an out patient I needed to go back to the ward for bi-weekly for tests to check that my hormone levels were falling (indicating that the pregnancy tissue was dissolving). The last test I had was at midday Tuesday 20th January - at this point everything seemed to be fine, and I had absolutely no reason to suspect that anything was amiss. I was so relieved to be on the mend and really pleased to have the opportunity to put it all behind me and make a real go of things in my new job. After the hospital appointment I even spent a couple of hours shopping in town and bought some new work clothes ready for the weeks ahead.

I woke up on Thursday morning with extreme pain, this was a complete shock as all the tests up to this point had indicated that treatment was working. An ambulance was called and I was taken in for emergency surgery at around 12.30 in the afternoon. In the course of the operation it was discovered that I had been experiencing chronic internal bleeding. I had lost almost 4 pints of blood which had to be removed from my abdominal cavity along with the remaining pregnancy tissue. The tissue and bleeding had been situated in an area of my abdomen obscured by the bowel, which is why it had not previously been picked up on during ultra sound examination. The pregnancy itself *was* resolving (getting smaller), however I was in a critical situation as cells that form the placenta were burrowing in to blood vessels in my abdomen, that are not equipped for that job. A number of them had ruptured or stared to seep blood and it was this that was causing the internal bleeding. Frighteningly enough I have since learned that the bleeding had progressed to such a point that it would have been fatal if left untreated for another 24 hours. The only treatment option available to me at this point was surgery to immediately remove the cause of the bleeding and repair any damage done to prevent further blood loss. During the surgery I also had reconstructive work done on the organs that had been affected by the ectopic mass with the hope that this will maintain some future fertility.

I was discharged from hospital earlier today, I'm in a need of good nights sleep in my own bed, and rather sore but definitely on the mend.

I have tried to be as candid as possible in explaining the events of the last week. I hope you can appreciate that I do not feel ready to actually "talk" in any great detail about what has happened. My consultant is willing to provide me with the necessary documents to explain my absence from work, the official reason being "abdominal surgery". I do not wish anyone other than yourself to know the exact nature of this surgery, as I do not feel that the details of the operation have any bearing on my ability to do my job.

I am a capable and experienced candidate who is 100% committed to working for acme company.. I believe that I would be a great asset to the acme company specialist team name here, and whilst the events of the last week may be a setback, I do not believe it should be one that prevents me from contributing my skills and experience to the team at acme company.

I have every confidence that we can come to an arrangement that will allow me to fast track through the necessary training procedures.

I'm back at home now, so you can give me a bell on my home number whenever it is convenient for you to talk.

Speak Soon

Me

 

[SpaceAngel]

I think your employment agency has been very unreasonable and I think you may still have some rights. Have you thought of contacting ACAS to find out what your rights may be?

Good luck with finding a new job, I know things are a complete nightmare at the moment but things do have a habit of coming up x

 

[uknitty]

Just found this, and wanted to post it for future reference ( and so I can find it easily !)

Not many Doctors are in favor of conserving the tube (although from what I can gather in many cases it may be because the skill required to repair a tube far outweighs the skill required to remove it completely) I just wanted to record an argument for conserving the tube in here, so I can remember why I was so determined to keep my tube in play, even though it was the bloody awkward route to take ! Also I am trying to figure out which group of women I fall in to.....

The risk of another ectopic depends on several factors, in particular the type of surgery that has taken place, the presence of any damage to the other tube and whether there were any difficulties conceiving first time around.

Studies that compare removing the tube (salpingectomy) with opening it at the time of surgery and removing the pregnancy (salpingostomy) have found that when the other factors above have been controlled for, the risk of repeat ectopic is about 9% if the tube is removed and 12% if the tube is left behind.

There is no difference in outcome whether the operation was an open one or key-hole surgery was used (laparoscopy), but recovery is certainly quicker with the key-hole option.

So why leave the tube at all if it leads to more ectopics? The first reason is that if another ectopic were to occur and the salpingectomy had to be performed this time around, the only option for pregnancy in the future would be test-tube pregnancy (IVF). The other reason is that although the ectopic risk is slightly higher, the normal pregnancy rate may be improved if the tube is conserved.

In women who have had no difficulty getting pregnant, the normal pregnancy rate is 70% to 85% whether salpingectomy or salpingostomy was performed. For women who had difficulty conceiving the first time around, the subsequent normal pregnancy rate is around 10% if the tube was removed and 25% if it is conserved

Ok so the first factor is previous difficulties conceiving.

Both times I have been TTC I have got PG by the 3rd cycle, although I've not managed to get past 10/11 weeks with either of my pregnancies. The problem doesn't seem to be getting PG it seems to be staying that way, or getting it in the right flipping place.

Do I fall in to the group of women who have no difficulty getting pregnancy in your opinion?

The second factor is presence of damage to the other tube

The surgeon told me that my left tube looked good, although if the EP was caused by damage to the cillia inside the tube there is no way of telling if there is a problem or not. ( That is to say everything can look normal, but until you try and use it then there is no guarantee it is working normally) I have been told repeatedly by sonographers that there is no evidence of masses,scarring or anything overtly sinister going on.

I've never really suffered with heavy or painful periods (Irregular in my late teens yes, but not painful) I have no reason to suspect I have every had or been at risk of PCOS, Endometriosis, Fibroids or any of the other conditions that indicate a hightened risk of EP.

The other factor that is listed as affecting the outcome is type of surgery. Although the only effect this seems to have is increase the risk of infection, and require a longer recovery time. In the long run I don't think this will affect my chances of getting PG as the surgery went very well and I seem to be on the mend.

Finally, although it is not discussed in any great detail in this article, age is usually a factor for consideration. At 30 is my age likely to affect the outcome of future pregnancies ?

I'd be interested to hear your thoughts

 

[KikoDinoGirl]

To take this away from me just makes me feel like a complete failure on top of everything else that has happened.

You are absoutely not a failure. You are dealing with so much in such a short amount of time, and you would have hoped your company was being supportive. Whilst you are a temporary working and that clearly restricts rights I agree that giving ACAS a call they might be able to advise either way. I have recommended them to someone else on the forum and they were really helpful.