Should find out gender...? Thoughts!

[SiameseCatLady]

Wow!
Thanks for responses! Am so surprised at how many people find out, only because I was ignorant and thought that most people left it for a surprise. I think it must be lovely to know, but equally lovely to leave it as a surprise.
Spoke to DH again last night and he was absolutely adamant, for the first time (before he'd been suggestive, not absolutely decided), that he doesn't want to know. This has made my mind up for me - we'll leave it and have a lovely surprise. However, also shocked at how many people find out 'by accident' particularly with boys! Fully prepared for this to happen, but we'll see.
Feeling depressed as went to my Pregnancy in Mind group and they are all ahead of me. All they kept saying was, "You're not showing yet, are you?" when I've had to get maternity leggings and knickers and my family and work colleagues all say that they can see now that I am. Stupid thing to get upset about, but hey, hormones. I have a bit of a fat belly anyway so I think people just see it as that currently
I want to look pregnant and freaks me out that something is going wrong!
Arg...

 

[Copterpops]

Don't feel sad. My mum told me I looked fat for ages, when it was all just early pregnancy bloat. (She has a delightful way with words, that you get used to over time!)

As for finding out gender, we haven't. My OH wants to be able to make the phone calls to the family one baby has arrived to say 'it's a...' And since he hasn't done anything for the last 9 mnths, I figure it's only fair. It is hard buying gender neutral clothes, but it means once you know what you have. You can then buy clothes to suit him/her instead of getting over excited by using everything.

 

[russellmuscle]

I was told I was huge alot, even though I actually wasnt huge. That sucked sometimes. Mostly towards the end I felt like punching people.

I think its kind of tradition for OH to do the phonecall isnt it? My OH alerted everyone it was a boy, they didnt know - but we did

xxxx

 

[Copterpops]

That's nice too. I just know my OH would spill the beans if we found out. He can't keep a secret to save himself. I have ended up with birthday presents weeks early cause he bought it, and couldn't keep it a secret!!!!

 

[Cherrybelly]

We found out with our daughter at our 20w scan. Oh didn't want to at first, but I really did so we did. I really think it helped him bond with her. It also helps with buying stuff (not that I only bought pink, I'm all for gender neutral, but some things you can't put a boy in really- eg dresses) and names. Also didn't like just referring to her as 'baby' all the time. I don't agree that I was less motivated in labour because I knew she was a girl. We'd been through so much to get that far and I was desperate to meet my daughter.

This time, I think we'll find out again for the same reasons. Due to previous losses, I'm really struggling to bond this time and believe all will be ok. I had a reassurance scan yesterday and everything is perfect. The more I see that and know about my baby, I think the more relaxed I'll be.

I understand why people don't find out, but for me I think it's as much as a lovely surprise at 20w as it is at full term x

 

[YorksLass]

We haven't found out and this is our first, but we're not bothered about gender specific colours either! Plus our residence is likely temporary, so we can't do much by way of nursery decoration anyway.
We call the babe 'Ooly' (for silly reasons) and although obviously it'll get a proper name after being born, I do feel nicely bonded with Ooly, be they a boy or girl!
We've had to have extra scans due to a kidney issue, so we just try not to look on the between the legs shots - that's the hardest thing! The nephrologist is a lovely guy though and always shows us a close up of the face before we go