I felt exactly the same hun, it just seems so cruel to make us go through this. I went to the RAH and the staff were absolute angels, they were so sensitive and caring and without them, it would have been a whole lot worse.
I know it's easier said than done, but try not to think too much about what will happen because I did and it wasn't half as bad as I was imagining it was going to be. I'm so sorry you're going through this xx