Preparing for battle

[Hunnie]

Will be stalking this thread as to how you get on as I plan to have a vbac/water birth when I get pregnant next time.

 

[Hunnie]

Forgot to say, good luck!!! Xxxx

 

[AugustMum]

Just remember that they can't MAKE you do anything. They can scare you into doing things, but can never make you. Ultimately it is YOUR birth, not theirs. If you are happy with it, then I would say just refuse constant monitoring and maybe just try and have the birth you want in a normal labour ward without water but still being mobile and using only the pain relief you want.

If they're that worried tell them they should have a midwife with you 1 to 1 while your in labour (a senior) to monitor you and keep a look out for any signs. There are so many more signs of rupture than just the heart beat and if they took the time to actually have a midwife there with you the whole time (which btw, you'd get two all to yourself if you had a home birth) rather than one just popping in and out then it'll be fine.

Do you know of any midwives in your area that are pro natural birth? I mentioned to my HV my plans for a hbac and he told me which midwife to go to if I wanted it (which happened to be the same midwife I had last time who was so so lovely).

 

[willowwisp]

Sorry it didn't go to plan hun

Can you hold out at home for as long as possible when you go into labour? This will be your fourth (??) experience of birth? You know your body better than anyone and you've been through all this before and I haven't so I could be talking nonsense. If your close or close-ish to the hospital you could stay at home and stay mobile for as long as you can before going in? Might reduce the time you spend strapped down? Bit of a compromise?

 

[cosmicgirl]

I was planning to stay at home in my own pool as long as possible but now I'm worrying about being at home and rupturing (they've got me all paranoid about it).
I think Im going to see what the head mw says and if I'm not happy then I will look at a hbac x

 

[cosmicgirl]

Just remember that they can't MAKE you do anything. They can scare you into doing things, but can never make you. Ultimately it is YOUR birth, not theirs. If you are happy with it, then I would say just refuse constant monitoring and maybe just try and have the birth you want in a normal labour ward without water but still being mobile and using only the pain relief you want.

If they're that worried tell them they should have a midwife with you 1 to 1 while your in labour (a senior) to monitor you and keep a look out for any signs. There are so many more signs of rupture than just the heart beat and if they took the time to actually have a midwife there with you the whole time (which btw, you'd get two all to yourself if you had a home birth) rather than one just popping in and out then it'll be fine.

Do you know of any midwives in your area that are pro natural birth? I mentioned to my HV my plans for a hbac and he told me which midwife to go to if I wanted it (which happened to be the same midwife I had last time who was so so lovely).

That's the thing though, they're laying on the scare tactics talking about cerebral palsy and baby death if they don't notice a rupture because I've refused constant monitoring x

 

[Mrs Wibbily]

Wouldn't it be lovely if you could tell them to feck right off and you'll labour as you wish to?

Try not to be scared into any of what they say, I don't know why they can't be more supportive, you would think they would want to promote as natural a birth as possible. Like you said ruptures have a tiny % of actually happening and as someone said earlier there are so many more ways of spotting the signs of rupture. Get yourself clued up on it and then you can have something to argue back with when you see the head midwife.
At the hospital where I will be they now have mobile monitoring, maybe you could ask about this?
You need to stay strong chick and remind them that it's your birth and your baby and although you are happy to do everything necessary to ensure the birth is safe you don't want to be scared into doing something you don't want to. Do they make EVERY woman have constant monitoring after having a section? Surely not. Is there anyway you could change hospitals?

 

[cosmicgirl]

There are two hospitals in the area, this one and the other one I had all my other babies at. I changed hospital this time as I believe I was mis-managed at the other hospital. There aren't any other hospitals
The hospitals policy is that all vbacs have constant monitoring.

I will swat up on signs of rupture, good idea

I will fight my corner, don't you worry xxx

 

[AugustMum]

Sorry I know I keep coming back to this thread

But just had a look on the homebirth site and got this quote. It says about the chance of uterine rupture being about 0.8-0.9%.

"To put these rates into perspective, the probability of requireing an emergency cesarean section for acute other conditions (fetal distress, cord prolapse, or antepartum hemorrhage) in any woman giving birth, is approximately 2.7%, or up to 30 times as high as the risk of uterine rupture with a planned vaginal birth after cesarean"

They don't try and scare first time mothers with those statistics so why are they trying to scare you. It enrages me!

 

[Hope81]

1 in one 100 women to have her uterus ruptured its super high for my liking
One in 100 women will be close on loosing her life and deprive her LO from blood flow and therefor from oxygen risking cerebral palsy or death?

am I the only one that wouldn't risk that for my comfort or for a positive experience?
I know that I am a doctor and during my rotation I saw done horrible cases that didn't end ok while there are millions out there that end up just perfect. But I wouldn't risk it for anything in the world to be one of the unfortunate ones???

Don't get that as me being critical here please cosmic I battle my own demons here just on the other side of the coin than you.

 

[cosmicgirl]

1 in one 100 women to have her uterus ruptured its super high for my liking
One in 100 women will be close on loosing her life and deprive her LO from blood flow and therefor from oxygen risking cerebral palsy or death?

am I the only one that wouldn't risk that for my comfort or for a positive experience?
I know that I am a doctor and during my rotation I saw done horrible cases that didn't end ok while there are millions out there that end up just perfect. But I wouldn't risk it for anything in the world to be one of the unfortunate ones???

Don't get that as me being critical here please cosmic I battle my own demons here just on the other side of the coin than you.

This is what worries me.
I was told that the risk was a lot lower than that so your post does surprise me.
That's the thing though, I don't want to risk anything but I want to balance the risks with a suitable birthing experience that won't lead to another section or an instrumental delivery.
I was really looking forward to this labour but now I'm dreading it. I can see it being just as invasive and medically managed as the last.
All the hypnobirthing ideas have gone in the bin.
I don't want to risk my lo for anything in the world but my birth experience is. Important.
I suffered post traumatic stress following the hideous twin delivery and received counselling, I wanted this to be so different x

 

[Hope81]

Go with hypnobirthing. After all is all about managing contractions and overcoming your fears and anxiety.
You can never know maybe gas and air and hypnobirh will be enough to cut the edge of the pain even if you have to stay in bed? Btw Dosent your hospital have wireless monitoring?
Every birth is completely different cos and it can be as pleasant as you are willing to make it.
Urgent c sections are tough. But I have seen quite a lot of planned c sections thy they were brilliant. A nice atmosphere, music in the theater, you are awake, you get skin to skin, your h can be there with you.
It Dosent have to be horrible as last time ifykwim.
Same comes for the epidural. You can ask for the epidural to left to wear off a little just so you can feel pushing in the last stage.
I am pretty sure that there is room for negotiating with the doctors.
Anyway you should try hypnobirthing you may be surprised

 

[cosmicgirl]

I have been reading the hypnobirthing books and ironically my CDs arrived yesterday.
My hospital doesn't have wireless monitoring, that would have been totally acceptable as I would be able to be in a sensible position and be mobile to deal with the pain.
I 100% do not want another section, that's not a choice (unless in case of dire emergency).
I'm going to be strapped to a bed, on my back, immobile - the least natural and ineffective birth position you can think of. Contractions are 1000000 times worse when lying on your back in a bed.
I do hope the head mw can come to some sort of compromise here x

 

[cosmicgirl]

Another thing I forgot to mention is that the head mw is a man. I so badly wanted to ask if any of the others were men. I felt daft asking (so didn't) but I really wouldn't be comfortable with a male mw.
So many worries on my mind since yesterday.
Then I started worrying about who might look after me on the day.
The head mw is likely to still practice clinically isn't he? I'm unlikely to get him though aren't I? x

 

[Hope81]

I would say its unlikely to get him but there is always a small chance. I hope you can find a solution to all these. Stop stressing though that Dosent help
I have no problem with male mw but I so hope I will be more consultant monitored than mw
I am the exactly opposite of you cos lol. I want the safest birth ever for the baby and I couldn't care less if I go through hell for that. ( I will so regret that won't I lol?)

 

[cosmicgirl]

AYou won't regret it if that's what you are comfortable with. Although I wouldn't wish a birth like my last one on anyone

I suppose I had this idea of how great this birth would be. After the disappointment of the gender, I really sunk my teeth into planning a wonderful birth and that gave me some focus. So I couldn't have my little girl but I would have a lovely labour and delivery that would hopefully ease some of the metal scars from last time.
Now I'm being told no, no, no. Every item on the list that I took to the dr - they disagreed with - everything!
That's pretty crushing.
I am an anxious person and I'm not one to take undue risks where my children or myself are concerned.
This is all very disappointing for me, especially as I know how hard it is to labour with constant monitoring. I might as well order my epidural now.
That's not me being defeatist (although I do feel defeated), I just know how it feels and I know my limitations x

 

[Princess81]

Oh cos love you sound so disheartened and this makes me feel so sad for you. Defo use the hypnotherapy - it did wonders for me.
I'd say that a doula may be a good option for you, they do loads of training and know the stats etc inside out - also when the time comes they will be in their right frame of mind to help you
I needed a lot of monitoring (allegedly) during my labour as he was prem by one day but most of my labour was spent dancing round the room also during the transition stages I was stood up and leaning over the bed but they were still monitoring me for this.
It sounds to me like they are scare mongering you into having a birth that they are in control of, not you xx

 

[cosmicgirl]

Oh yes, they are definitely trying to scare me (and being pretty successful).
The dr even wrote the words cerebral palsy and death in my notes! Thanks for that!!!
Now I don't know if all monitors are the same but when I had constant monitoring last time, the machine had really short leads.
When I got up off the bed or moved, the pads moved (because the wires moved) and it lost contact.
The mw came in moaning "you can't move, stay on the bed!!".
When I talked about this to the dr yesterday, she nodded, she didn't say "don't worry, you'll be able to move" or anything to put my mind at ease. She agreed. That doesn't bode well.
This is the only other hospital within a sensible distance from my house, even then it's not my nearest. I'm running out of options rapidly. Liverpool women's hospital apparently have the best care in Merseyside but don't have wireless monitoring?????? x

 

[Mrs Wibbily]

Morning

Try not to be put off by the fact that the head mw is a male, maybe it could work in your favour. What hospital is it that you are being seen at?
It is ALL scaremongering, try to be strong and not pay any attention to it. Very easy to say but honestly they want to cover their backs (although I think writing DEATH in your notes is quite out of order). What’s your community midwife? Could you get her on side?

To all who read this next bit please do not take it as an attack of any opinions put forward.

When you’ve been in the unfortunate position of having to have intervention within your labour and birth the thought of having to go through it all again is absolutely petrifying. The constant monitoring, the laying on your back for HOURS, the epidural, the instrumental intervention that goes wrong and leads to a c-section, it’s all a complete nightmare. There is absolutely not doubt that every woman wants the safest and most straightforward labour and birth for their child. However to try for a labour and birth which is as natural as possible should be every woman’s right. I feel that if every woman was to experience the unpleasant experience of having the previously mentioned intervention they would know just how awful it is and how important it is to try for a natural labour for your next pregnancy. The benefits to mother and baby with having a natural labour are momentous and this is something I feel should be offered to every woman who is pregnant, regardless of what their previous births have been like (of course there are exceptions to this rule for ladies who are unable to have natural labours due to medical conditions etc).

You must try and stick to your guns Cos, explain to them that you are fully aware of the risks and that although you are more than prepared to have SOME monitoring, constant is out of the question. Make two birth plans one for what you want and one for just in case. I plan to do that, if things progress naturally fantastic, however if things start going as they did before then I will say instantly that I want another c-section. I won’t go through it all again for a traumatic delivery that left me scarred. It’s important that you have your opinion listened to. Is there any way you could ask to see a different consultant?

Rant over, I think it could be time for my 2nd breakfast!

 

[willowwisp]

I really feel for you, loosing control is the worst feeling ever. Especially on something so important. Did you have an emergency c-section last time? If you did, you might actually find a planned section less stressful? If you had a planned one previously then that idea is out.

If your anxious and strapped down when you go into hospital will that affect the progress of labour? I think they only let you labour for so long with VBAC before they whisk you down for a c-section?

I would voice your concerns about a male midwife. I know it doesn't bother lots of women but I have to confess it would bother me too and I think with the situation your in the more you feel you have control of the better.

Forgive my ignorance but at what stage of labour are the possible complications likely to occur? If it's later on then you may be able to strike a bargain with controlling the early stages on your terms, perhaps being checked regularly but the rest of the time being free to move, but accepting the more restricting monitoring in the later stages?