Somebody please talk sense to me!

[cosmicgirl]

As you may know, I had a hideous delivery last time and this has made me very anxious. I am doing a hypnobirth course this time and am going to back that up with lots of reading and the CD's.
I have ordered a birthing pool from ebay (for use in early labour at home) and had planned a hospital water borth, at a different hospital to the one i gave birth to all of my other children in.

Here's where the problems begin!
I have recently been reading about a vbac and have discovered that most hospitals demand constant fetal monitoring in labour. This disturbs me. When labouring with the twins, they wanted fetal monitoring and I really struggled with the contractions whilst strapped to a bed. It felt unnatural to be lying flat and I wanted to stand and bend over the bed to breathe through the contractions but I couldnt because I was strapped to a bed.
So this is worrying as I think it will ruin my experience, I will struggle with the pain and obviously the water birth would be out of the window.

Soooo, I go against everything I believe in but I am considering a hbac.
I have never felt that a home birth is for me, I am comfortable with all of the dr's and equipment being around me in a hospital, I work in a hospital so its a familiar place for me to be. But I really wasnt a hypno water birth and i dont think I'm going to get this in hospital.
Also, I have been to the hospital twice now and I dont get a nice feel from it. The staff I saw where not the most friendly and the place felt un friendly. The clinical care there is second to none though so should this matter???

Opinions please x

 

[cosmicgirl]

Anyone???? Don't leave me hanging x

 

[Emily0505]

Awww hun, I don't really know what to suggest as this is my first so I have no idea what labour will be like.

Maybe have a chat with your MW about it and explain how you are feeling and your concerns and see what she suggests?

At the end of the day, yours and baby's safety is priority.

I'm not much help I'm afraid but didn't want to read and run

XX

 

[cosmicgirl]

Thanks for the reply hun. I've got a consultant appointment at the end of may to discuss my last delivery and plans for this one. Just wanted to get things straight in my own head x

 

[katey123]

I've had 3 hosptial births although all went well , I hated the impersonal way it felt ,different mw 's coming in and then leaving me and my partner alone then he had to drag someone back to catch the baby. I couldn't wait to go home. My 4th birth should have been at hosptial because like you I thought it was the safest place. But no. 4 came within a hour of labour starting so there was no time and I had an unplanned home birth ,I had two mw's for two hours and an ambulance crew waiting in my hallway it was amazing I felt supported and safe it was a lovely experience.
So with no.5 had a planned home birth , two mw's the whole two hours again , most of which is after the birth drinking tea and chatting . Baby poohed so again an ambulance crew waiting in the wings but all was fine. Again it was a lovely experience for all .
It is up to you to decided what kind of birth you want , but these were my experiences I hope they may help you with your decisions, all the best xx

 

[cosmicgirl]

Thanks hun, that really helps xxx

 

[willowwisp]

I'm obviously a total novice too, but could you book a hbac with the intention of staying at home with the support of a mw for as long as you can manage, going to hospital if you need it? How far away from the hospital are you? That way you can keep moving and make use of your pool that bit longer?

 

[katey123]

your welcome xx

 

[cosmicgirl]

I'm obviously a total novice too, but could you book a hbac with the intention of staying at home with the support of a mw for as long as you can manage, going to hospital if you need it? How far away from the hospital are you? That way you can keep moving and make use of your pool that bit longer?

I suppose theres no reason why not (I dont think).
The hospital is about 25 mins away, which is a shame as the last hospital was only 10 mins up the road!!!
I worry that i will be more anxious at home knowing that there are no dr's or emergency type people about xx

 

[willowwisp]

You can always change your mind. If you book a hbac, go into labour and it doesn't feel right you can just go straight to hospital?

The other option could be to sort out monitoring the baby for x amount of time each hour, so you can move around the rest? The might have some suggestions to help?

 

[cosmicgirl]

Some great ideas there, thanks very much. I feel like I'm already stressing about it. I had in my mind how it was going to go and then this monitoring business crept up on me and shit all over my lovely birth plan x

 

[Amyrose]

I kind of feel cheated of a waterbirth or been able to have choices like epidural ect. I have had all my kiddies so fast it was never an option and I always felt kind if shocked and slightly traumatised after the birth. I think if it's what you want then go for it but only if it's safe for you. I know we get told oh the best place is in hospital but alot of the time this is pushed on us as it's the easier option for them not us.
I would just worry hun because you have had problems that you could run into them again and being in hospital might be best for you and lo. Have a chat with your midwife and tell her how you feel she should be able to help you make the best choice for you. It would be so nice to have an amazing experience after what you have been through x

 

[cosmicgirl]

I'm so confused. I like the iodea of a nice relaxed hbac with limited intervention and its all rainbows and fairy dust. Then in reality i know that as hard as I try I do reach that point where I lose the plot and need the drugs. But then that was where the hypnobirthing was going to come into it and the water. But then on another hand i feel safe in a hospital, would I relax at home???? GRRRRR!! x

 

[Amyrose]

I wouldn't relax at home I would be stressed to high heavens with my brood around me and me shouting my head off I woukd much rather be in hospital where nobody knows me lol x

 

[cosmicgirl]

I'm thinking the same, but if i go to hospital it means more intervention, unlikely to get a waterbirth and strapped to a bed unless they agree otherwise, arrggghh its so so hard x

 

[willowwisp]

You could always write two plans, a home plan and a hospital plan, see what mw says and how confident you are with the hypnobirthing and make the decision later?

 

[cosmicgirl]

Sounds good, I can deffo do that.
Do you have to decide before a certain time??? Like to book mw's to do the hb??? God, I know nothing! x

 

[CARNAT22]

It's odd hun as my MW said they recommend any women that can and want to use the birthing centre do so.

Obviously you have to meet a certain criteria to begin with and on the day all has to be OK but that is what she recommended?

The beauty is you are just a floor away from the labour ward if you need help.

I think it will all become clearer when you speak to your consultant but I am guessing your last delivery will be a stumbling block about being able to use the birthing centre? I am assuming your last delivery is why you are under consultant care hun?

xxxxxxxxx

 

[jojo3972]

im to scared to have a home birth altho i have had 6 perfect labours but on my last one the placenta decided to get stuck and didnt play ball so i ended up with an emergency op to get it out and meanwhile i lost 4 units of bloood was realy terrifying but here i am having another i must be mad,i was meant to have a water birth with my last but as she had pooped inside me i wasnt alowed and obviuosly im not allowed with this one i will be as u say strapped to a bed but i am going to wander about the room where i can and as my sister works labour /birth ward il have a bit of a personal touch hopefully if she is at work lol,i admire u wanting to do it all at home and doing what u want i dont think i have the guts to do it, i think its bcos if i ahd been at home wen i had maddison i may not have made it and i dont mean to frighten u thats the last thing i want to do and u seem to knoww at ur doing i wish u luck with wat u decide and hope u get what u want xxxx

 

[cosmicgirl]

Yeah, because of what happened last time, i have to go and see the consultant and I dont know if my hospital even has a birthing centre, I doubt I'd be allowed there but really dont know??

I should add at this point that my oh really doesnt like the idea of a hb because of what happened last time, he's really nervous x