Our little dream :) Had a mc???

[kanga86]

I want my baby back!! xx

 

[Hope81]

hey all, good morning, not much online this weekend, being in bed sick most of the day...

i miss my baby and want it back too...sadly probably not this moth as we didnt DTD so much, being both with flu...not that i think that i ovulated....those mc mess with hormones so much i hope my next cycle to be normal.

dysco how was the wedding? got any lovely ideas? and how it goes with symptom spotting? if i ovulted i am practically in my 2ww too now though i really dont think so

kanga do you have some good news for me? did the bleeding stop?

hopeandfaith welcome, i am sorry that we meet like that and not in the 1 trimester threads

have a nice day ladies

 

[kanga86]

Oh no, i hope u and the oh are feeling better now. Good luck in ur 2ww, because I know it will be hard to not get ur hopes up. Hopefully u did ov and catch it, got my fingerscrossed for u xx

No I am still bleeding, day 6 of the heavier bleeding. Really struggling to see the bright side of anything at the mo, just so fed up! It's been 6 long weeks of bleeding!

Sometimes I do wonder if this is a new cycle starting or wether it just mc bleeding still. Not sure what to do? Phone the epu? But then I would feel stupid if they said this was my period at long last, but then I know it probably isn't! xx

 

[Hope81]

ok just called my gynecologist and asked about your situation. you are not suppose to bleed for more than 4 weeks, if you do you need or a d&c if still remains or hormones to stop the bleeding. for you to consider that as your period you should have a 2 weeks at least without bleeding meantime so the hormonal changes can happen.
if i was you i would go and ask them again or go private.and this time tell them they so need to fix that...

 

[Hope81]

sorry some of my post got lost.

thank you, we are feeling a little better. wweather being really crappy last days here and this dosent help so much. getting to stay one more week home from work...

i am really realistic that i probably didnt ovulate as no ovulation signs at all but mind works in mysterious ways and nobody knows if i will be disappointed when poas and BFN or my AF comes....i hope not because i know very well that first cycles after mc can be without ovulation and with weird hormonal changes...

 

[kanga86]

Oh Hun that was lovely to do! I'm going to ring the early pregnancy unit at 8.30 when they open and if they won't do anything I will try my docs and see what they say. It is getting ridiculous now but I hate to be a pain in the arse!

This whole mc thing is so annoying just when u want everything to be normal again is when ur body does messed up things. I think I will just be happy to stop this bleeding first! Maybe we will all be back on track for sept bfp's!! Xx

 

[Hope81]

really not a problem as the doctor is a friend i hope you will get it shorted soon. i can only imagine how hard is to bleed for so long while you want your LO back the soonest i bled for 15 days and i was desperate...
and now i am desperate again for everything to go back to normal soon.

september BFP dosent sound so bad

 

[dyscochick]

Morning girls, I have my scan this morning to make sure everything is clear. Not looking forward too it, we must have had a collective blip last night, cos i suddenly felt so empty and said to OH that I should have been 15 week by now and felt so sad.

Not sure where my body is at. I know my HCG levels dropped back to negative HPTs pretty quickly but my boobs ache and I've still got odd achey feelings in my belly. I'm not symptom spotting, who knows if I ovulated or not. We haven't dtd that much and we aren't trying specifically, I just can't bring myself to prevent a pregnancy, does that sound stupid? I know I need to start being sensible for the next couple of months, otherwise the wedding will be in jeopardy (simply because I'll be due on or around my wedding day).

Speaking of weddings I'm quite excited. The one we went to this weekend was lovely and gave me a few ideas, and clarified others (also a couple of ideas on what I want to avoid! like the bride and groom getting drunk BEFORE the speeches, bless them, it was fun but a little tedious when they rambled on for 90 mins between them!!!!). My wedding website is nearly ready to go live, i've designed the invites and got registrar and venue booked. Hopefully going to see caterers next week and dress shopping with my mum on tuesday, all systems go! I'm actually crapping myself though, there is so much work I should have been doing but all my focus has disappeared, I'm either sad about my baby or planning my wedding to distract me. MUST FIND MOTIVATION!
Kanga, go and make an absolute pain of yourself, this is ridiculous and they need to stop fobbing you off, well done for info Hope, 6 weeks is far too long! Stop being nice, you deserve to be able to move on Kanga!
Glad you and OH on the mend Hope, have my fingers crossed for september BFPs for you both
Happy tuesday girlies xxx

 

[kanga86]

I hope the scan goes well dysco. I have phoned the epau who said they would get back to me after looking at my notes (3 1/2 hrs later still waiting!) so I phoned the doctor surgery at 12 who said they would get someone to ring me back at 1.30pm. I go off to change from my work stuff and pee, to come back to a voicemail from the bloody doctor at 12.30!! Can they not tell the time!! So still awaiting another phonecall back.

Dysco as for preventing, just do what u feel is best. I think because of what we have been through it is hard to know what we want and what's best for the time being. I know what u mean about not wanting to prevent, I just want things to be as they were so dont want to stop "trying" as it is all I want.

The wedding planning sounds great and glad u had a good time and got some ideas. What sort of things have u got on ur wedding website? Never heard of one of them before. I agree with the focus tho, I must finish by bookkeeping courses by the end of sept but have no enthusiasm to do any of it!

It was really awkward at work today, as someone asked me how my pregnancy was going?! I didn't know if I wanted to cry or run out the room! I told him I had a mc and he felt reallly bad that he asked. I feel horrible for telling people as I know they aren't going to know what to say and feel embarrassed. We all ended up laughing it of, nervous type laughter and then he left the room! I feel so horrible that I made it awkward, and pissed off that one of our duty managers wasn't informed about what had happened. I tell you the communication there is ridiculous! Xx

 

[kanga86]

So I have spoken to the doctor and she reckons because I had a thickened lining at my last scan that my hormones were getting back to normal and that this bleed is probably a period bleed. Cautiously hopefully that this means things are back on track. She said if I am still bleeding heavy in 4-5 days to phone them again and they will do a beta blood test to check the hcg levels are normal etc. So just got to see if it stops this time, seems to be lighter again this afternoon but we will see! Xx

 

[Hope81]

good news kanga i hope thats it for you.

yesterday was a crazy night here, it was a storm and was blowing so much that all the pots with flowers were down the same as the top part of our bunnies cage...it almost blew us away when we got outside finally we abandoned the idea of going for shopping and we got inside and we made a lovely fire at the fireplace, roasted some corn for oh (me dieting....) and an eggplant for my salad. we lighted some candles and made an apple, cinnamon raisin tea, it was almost like christmas lol and its only august...
i sware weather has gone crazy lately and today isnt better either...

anyway, planning of cooking some chicken tights for lunch, dinner no idea yet meantime studying a little and maybe a nap later. though i hate the whole housewife thing as i never card much of that am so gonna miss vacation even if it means tha ti have to cook everyday, do the landry etc lol......

BTW sth sinister and weird happened last night. i woke up at 3 for a wee and 1/2 asleep as i was i was thinking at my way to the bathroom that soon i will be to trimester 2 and at least maybe the nighttime wee will get a little better until trimester 3....for soon to realize that my LO isnt there anymore ....so weird it was, probably blame my before bed tea...i was even too sleepy to be sad or symptom spotting at that h lol...

have a nice day everyone and btw what are you cooking/eating today?????still no idea what we will eat for dinner...

 

[kanga86]

Wow that was some storm! It's been quite nice here, although the sun is out it looks rather windy outside.

How strange about the night time thinking! Amazing what our brains trick us with, hope u are feeling ok. I must admit the last few days I have been feeling really down about everything, not sure what I feel at the mo. Excited about ttc again but so so sad that I am ttc again, if that makes sense!

Was thinking of doing spag Bol with meatballs for tea, nice and easy as finishing work at 8pm tonight.

D'oh I thought I clicked send on this post about an hour ago!!

Feeling really down now, just phoned in sick for work as I don't think I can cope with it tonight, sat here having a little cry not even sure what about. Just feeling physically and emotionally drained!

Even though I laughed it off yesterday, the guy asking how my pregnancy was going was like a great big thump in the heart! I thought I was getting passed the grieve stage, obviously not!

Sorry I have nothing cheerful to chat about today, hope u all are well xx

 

[Hope81]

awww kanga, i missed the incident with the guy, sorry to ehar about that.

about grieve stage...will we really get over this at some point???? am not so sure, maybe after we have our LOs?
talking yesterday to my auntie who had 2 stillbirths and one mc (btw i think a stillbirth is the worst thing ever to happen ) and asked her if she really got over it she surprisingly told me she did and that she could never have her last amazing daughter if she wasnt for those stillbirths....

now kanga spaghetti and meatballs lol, sounds yummy but do yu actually mean real meatballs like those big ish ones or just browned minced meat like bolognese sauce? sorry for that, never tried before, i am sure its yummy and well know maybe in uk. it sounds difficult to eat with big chunks of meat in the spaghetti but hey i dont mind getting dirty lol if its yummy

you gave me a great idea, its spaghetti with bronwed minced meat and tomato sauce for oh and browmed minced meat over a cabbage salad for the big dieting girl lol.

i totally understand btw the idea of happy to ttc and sad that you ttc, i could never describe it better myself.
i thought i will be so happy for a 2ww because i never had one before and now that i am practically on my 2ww (if i ever ovulated...) i only feel stress about it. i am not really sure right now if i will be s happy to be pregnant again but in the same time i am dying to have my LO again. but i will be so stressed that sth will go so wrong that i would maybe prefer to be in a constant 2ww or sth??
sorry if that dosent make any sense i dont even know how to explain what i feel.

smart idea to call it sick today, how about a relaxing evening with a tea and a book?

 

[kanga86]

The meatballs are basically mince meat in a small ball. U just cut them up to eat them, just makes the meal slightly different to standard mince.

I suppose there must be a point where we can get passed the greive enough to function better, I know 7 years after the loss of my mum and I still get days where it is really hard. Just want more good days than bad days. My auntie has had a stillborn at 7months and 3 mc's at 14,16, and 20 weeks!! Just don't know how people can deal with that but I suppose if u get a baby eventually the pain must ease slightly.

I think we all feel the same way when it comes to ttc again, and it is really hard to explain. But I know exactly what u mean.

Might have a nice bath and I love reading so might go and grab that and try to take my mind off the real world for a while. Got family coming down tomorrow so going to busy enough to not think too much over a few days. Xx

 

[Hope81]

i may try that with the meatballs sounds yummy and interesting i love getting to know how things are doen in different countries. though it took me a while to understand that you use the word tea for dinner for us tea is a tea that you drink and couldnt really see how meatballs will get well with black cinnamon tea lol

i like reading too, being a while since i did that, i am aways so busy reading medical books. i may grab sth different tonight if my oh will let me have an 1 h alone lol.

is your ohs the same? he wants to do everything with me, like a toddler that follows you i suppose all day lol...

one last question, when you think about your LOs do you think them as a boy or a girl or just it?

 

[kanga86]

I'm lucky if my other half is even home!! He is always working on someone elses car after he finishes work, like tonight he is working on his dads car. When he is home and I try to read, it is when he tries to talk to me the most! Typical! So now I mainly read at night because he falls to sleep quicker than I do!

We say tea for the hot drink too! Lol must get rather confusing!

Most of the time I think boy, but that is because I really wanted a boy, then I think I didn't see a baby so was it even there! Then sometimes I think I was probably having a little girl that I lost. So generally just say my baby. What about u? Xx

 

[Hope81]

My oh generally refers to the baby saying That kid lol will make us worry for the rest of our life or he uses he.
I use she az I want a girl i am afraid that I will be quite sad if I will have a boy as I always wanted a girl to dress up and fix her hair etc, I really hope to get over it as what it matters is ofc a very healthy LO. Oh wants whatever he says.

Oh and oh dosent even go to sleep alone if I a, not in bed with him. No luck of me having alone time lol...

 

[Hope81]

Also are you ever thinking already if you want a pram or a sling or BLW or cloth nappies or disposables etc etc?

I caught myself yesterday thinking of that, weird it was...I don't even have an LO yet and I am afraid that I will make the wrong choices when it will be here...

 

[kanga86]

Whats a blw?

I was on babies r us website before I was even pregnant picking out my nursery furniture, colour scheme, pram, everything! I thought about maybe trying cloth nappies, but then thought do I even want to try and wash a very dirty nappy!

I think regarding the sex of ur baby ur always going to prefer one over the other for different reasons but when they are there I think that all changes . No matter how much I want a little boy, Harry, I also love the idea of having a girl, Emma! ( I even have names ) I am not that girly so having a girl scares me more!

I don't think we will feel we have made the right decisions even when they are all grown up, we just have to do are best u can't fault that, and give lots of love xx

 

[Hope81]

BLW is baby leading weaning. Look it up interesting thing.having dinner and coming back to tell you about my choices