Our little dream :) Had a mc???

[Hope81]

Kanga my oh is not sharing his feelings either. Take care of you. Did your bleeding stop?
Dysco how was the party?
I am a little under the weather today, snffng and sneezing and headache...I think I will take it easy today...

I hope you will all have a lazy beautiful Sunday. So sorry that you have to work kanga

 

[dyscochick]

Kanga, really sounds like you need to talk to him more honey. Do you make time for each other? I mean like going on 'dates' and stuff, its really nice to do that, we do sometimes and they are really nice evenings, going for a nice meal and a few drinks gives you time to talk without the distractions of everyday life.

Party was fab, feeling slightly worse for wear today! lots of dancing and karaoke!!

 

[Hope81]

Goodmormimg, stil under the weather. Also stressing a lot, my in laws coming to visit us in 2 weeks and that will be first time I meet them....any tips for me? LOL feeling like a 15 year old or sth...I have to super clean the house, shop everything making sure at we don't miss a thing etc, dust all over, God i hate dusting......

On a separate note, I was at the supermarket today and there was a lady with the most gorgeous pram. It was one of those very tall old fashioned ones, looked like out of a black and white tv movie or sth. Ofc completely useless pram as it is huge and it's only a pram, you can't use it later....the lady also had a 3 year old with her that was whining that he wants chocolate and a toy, the things that she could tell him and the way that she was draggig him and pushing him around made me think that some people may deserve kids more than others.....

Hope everyone is ok, glad you had a lovely time at the party dysco karaoke you say, now that I didn't do since I was in high school

 

[Hope81]

Where is everyone? I hoe you are all ok and just busy bees.

Decided the ntnp with oh...we only DTD once during fertile days.(well 2 more days left but we will see lol how sleepy we will be....)
Off I am to the supermarket and then studying. Vacation is almost over

 

[Hope81]

ok back from shopping, opened my books, got an email, a friend who knew that i was pregnant said: i am so sorry for your loss, though i dont think you are sad or anyhting, not that it was actually a baby in there that you lost or sth....

excuse me????i may had a blighted ovum, meaning no baby developed but it was conceived it had its sex and everything defined by the time that the sperm was fuzed with the egg and it was my baby either it grew or not

do i sound paranoic now?

 

[kanga86]

Sorry not been on much lately feeling rather sorry for myself! I am still bleeding, it's now been almost 5 weeks! Just getting myself down about everything hence my other post.

Dysco- as for talking to my oh it has been really difficult the last few days as he is spending most evenings with his mum and dad at the hospital so been really hard to talk to him about anything or spend any time just us. I do try to arrange time for just ourselves but something always gets in the way. Whet hers it's his family or his cousin or him doing extra work on other peoples cars!! I always seem to be the last on the list, I know he is working hard at the mo because we are short on money because I had 3 weeks off for the mmc. So I suppose it's my fault I'm on my own mist of the time! It also doesn't help that I have to work shifts so some evenings I'm not til gone 9pm!

Hope - that's just awful what ur friend said, u were pregnant for so many weeks before u found out about the BO and bonded with it like any women does! I think as soon as u get that bfp u fall in love with ur little bean whether it grows or not! Mine stopped growing before it was visible on a scan so looked similar to a BO, but it doesn't make the loss any easier to deal with. Big hugs to u hunny xx

 

[dyscochick]

Sorry Kanga, replied on the other thread before seeing htis one. Don't blame yourself, finding time together is tough and it sounds like everything is conspiring against you at the moment, with money worries too it can't be fun or easy to spend time together. But please please don't blame yourself for any part of this situation, you have had a rough time and with OH being distracted by his mum I'm not surprised if you closed off a bit. Wish I could send you a proper hug and get you back on track with your cycle too! xxx

OMG Hope, can't believe what your friend said, of course a BO was a baby. It doesn't even matter about the biology, the psychology is the same, to you hun xxxx

 

[Hope81]

thanks girls, sometimes i hope i had a normal mc like other girls rather than BO.

Though BO proves that my body can sustain a pregnancy, nobody knows if my eggs are still of good quality or that will happen again.

 

[dyscochick]

Hope, nothing makes it easier. People keep saying to me 'well at least you know everything works..' well no i don't because if they did I would be 14 weeks pregnant right now. I guess at least others might see it differently if was a 'normal' mc, but I don't think you'd feel differently, if anything those feelings are just stronger and stronger the longer you are pg. xxx

 

[kanga86]

Thank u dysco! My mil went home from the hospital yesterday, and I have just spoke to my oh and I actually get a night with him tonight! Woo!

Might write down all of my feelings that I have posted to u ladies and tell him exactly how I am, going to need notes to remember what to say. Wish me luck that I don't chicken out of it! Xx

 

[dyscochick]

I think thats a brilliant idea, so glad you are going to get some time with him, and writing down will help. Have you told him that you feel that you come last on his list too? It might not be the best time to come at him with that one as he'll be defensive about his mum being in hosp etc but its an important one to talk about if you are going to be having a family together. I hope it goes well, or that you just decide to have a nice evening together, I'm sure either would help right now xxx

 

[Hope81]

thats perfect kanga, be sincere and open with him and see how it will go

 

[kanga86]

I have spoke to him before about being second best to everything else, but not in a while. I will see how the other chat goes first and see if it is wise to bring it up yet or not.

Just hoping to have a nice evening together xx

 

[dyscochick]

Fingers crossed for you to have a nice evening, xxxx

 

[MrsDraven]

I can't believe your 'friend' said that to you Hope!!! Gah! Of course you feel something! Some people are so ignorant.

 

[kanga86]

did these out of curiousity again today. still got a f'ing positive hpt! this isnt just me is it?

the opk is the top and hpt bottom

the link is for an invert image to show the lines better. iphone camera is pretty crap!

http://www.canyouseealine.com/view_home_pregnancy_test.php?method=invert&testID=13773

ps. sorry about the size xx

 

[Hope81]

Kanga I was getting positive test tll likev2 days before my period (a faint line ) but given you are still bleeding you need to go back to the doctor I think.

 

[dyscochick]

Kanga I can't believe they haven't sorted you out properly. I got my first negative HPT about 10 days after the mc. I know mine was drug induced but this seems to be going on such a long time! Now, tell all, did you and OH have a nice evening together?

Today I'm grumpy, I like cycling to work but not in the p@$$ing rain! so now I'm damp in my office trying to motivate myself to do some work, NOT look at anything to do with weddings and focus on grants, book chapters and papers....argh!

Also am symptom spotting, have had odd pains, sore boobs, icky feelings. I haven't done any OPKs cos I didn't see the point straight after mc, and I do not want to be a POAS addict (which Iw ould very likely turn into). we've have BD'd a couple of times since the mc and head wise, I know I don't want to get pregnant until after my first cycle, emotionally I desperately want to get pregnant again. So I'm kinda just waiting to see if/when AF makes an appearance. my cycle before was about 35 days so I've got a couple of weeks yet....hmmmm, syptoms are probably just paranoia!

 

[Hope81]

good morning

kanga how was your night????

its rainy and cloudy here too, just made a coffee and enjoying studying near the window looking at the wet baby seeps. still sniffing and sneezing and coughing. Drives me crazy.

dysco after ovulation last month after the d&c i had all kind of symptoms, sore boobs mainly that disappeared when my period was here. Fx for you that you get your BFP. Also my cycle was 30 days instead of 25 that i usually had and this one dosent look to be normal either i should be ovulating my now, but no discharge (sorry TMI) that i usually get before my ovulation so probably this cycle will not be 25 days either...if i will even ovulate lol. I didnt do any OPKs also because i dont want to turn into a POAS addict either lol.
so if your symptoms are actually getting strong you cna even check before those 35 days as you cna never know how long your cycle will be this month

i completely understand the ''emotionally i want to get pregnant again right away.'' i feel the same too. on my facebook there are lot of newborn photos or of scan pictures, people announcing that are pregnant all over....
BTW symptom spotting is as addcitiv as POAs lol. Dont do it or you will drive yourself crazy for 2 weeks
have a nice day everyone

 

[kanga86]

good morning ladies!

I did have a really nice relaxed evening with my oh, sat and had tea at the dining room table without any tv on ( normal we sit in the lounge with the tv going). Watched a bit of tv and actually got to talk to him about everything thats been bothering me. He was telling me how he wishes he could sort me out and that i didnt have to keep going through all the crap with the mmc. he also kept apologising about not spending time with me the last week or so, he said he tried to spread himself out between everyone but knows it didnt work too well. I think he was quite worried about his dad being on his own so he was always here or with mike doing something.

i told him my fears about getting pregnant and wanting a baby, whether i was ready to actually have a baby at the end. He said that he really wanted a LO which made me so happy as i felt sometimes he was doing it all for me.

so i am a happy ish bunny today! the bleeding has got slightly heavier today so not sure whats happening yet again!

I have decided that i am going to try and get a bit fitter whilst waiting for my body to sort its self out as i am on the heavy side. So i went for a walk on tuesday evening and yesterday i walked to and from work, but today its raining so not sure if i want to walk or not! i haven got the car so would have to use the motorbike so i suppose either way i am going to get wet!! xx