Our little dream :) Had a mc???

[dyscochick]

aw sorry hun, just glad to know that you are getting by. I do totally recognise how you feel, the platitudes really don't help sometimes do they, and now we've been guilty of it too! Were you able to sort out any counselling? xxx

 

[dyscochick]

and btw your feeling are not selfish at all. completely normal and i'm sorry I haven't been as understanding as I should have been. everyone takes their own time to heal and for some people that wound never really closes. xxxx

 

[netty]

no counselling makes me feel awkward plus i will have to wait ages and ages. Sorry if my last post sounded insensitive, all you ladies here have helped me so much you wouldnt belive, all i am doing is faling into my own head which is never good i need to snap out of it.

I wont spend so much time away from here in future as i have been bottling everything up all weekend and i should have just come here and said what was on my mind.

 

[dyscochick]

don't apologies, we were just worried about you, thats all, and this should be a place to say how you feel, about anything. I guess its a bit mixed on here just now, for some people its raw and recent, and certainly for me its becoming more distance cos i have work and wedding to throw myself into. xxxx

 

[Hope81]

i am glad that you are ok lynette. guilty indeed that we tried to reassure you that will be ok. i suppose its the same feeling when i hear people telling me don't worry your next pregnancy will be fine.

you don't know if it will be fine, you don't know if i will ever be able to have an LO at all. so don't tell me the next pregnancy will be fine...

is that how you feel when you hear people telling you that the sadness will go away soon?

dysco is right most of us that we have already been here for long time we already somehow moved on. at the end of the day we have jobs, weddings etc.

at the beginning it was like time had stopped completely and then i realized that everything was keep going and it was dragging me, papers to write, grants to finish etc etc. we all struggled to get back on track but it eventually happened.

ok maybe sounds weird as most of the girls here want their LO back asap and i think i want too but sometimes i am just thinking that it took me so much to get back on track after that mc that i will not be able to face one more... now how selfish is that????

you are a strong person lynette, we are here to listen when you feel like talking

 

[netty]

thanks girlies,

Hope, i do feel like i couldnt go through this again with another LO, i dont htink it would hurt less i think it would hurt more so no i dont think your being selfish at all. Me and OH agreed that we didnt want to try until this LO's birth date was up as i feel bad trying during the time i should have been having this one, sounds crazy i know. However I am not going back on the pill as it make me crazy lol so what will be will be, took me a year to get this one so god knows how long if ever another one will come along

 

[kanga86]

Lynette So sorry to hear ur having a rough time, we did miss u on here so glad to to see u back. We will try our hardest to understand and say the right things. As for time standing still I still feel like that now, 3 months have passed in a blink of an eye, yet dragged on so much. Yesterday was a hard day for me, not sure why but after bottling up my feelings they all came tumbling out and I cried so much!

I feel as though my family and friends should be feeling my loss as much as I am still rather than completely forgetting about it already and telling me I'm young and it's happen once so it will happen again! Things like that really ont help. And when people on here said to me time is a great healer, I felt like saying f*** off is it, I am going to feel like this forever. Unfortunately they were right and it's not quite so raw now, does it hurt still? Yeah so so much but I can cope with my emotions better on a daily basis to be able to function again.

sorry for telling u exactly want u don't want to hear, but these are my feelings towards everything now 3 months down the line. What will u be like in 3 months? I haven't got a clue but we will be here to support u through it for as long as u need. Big big hugs xxx

 

[netty]

hey thanks for that Kanga, i do know deep down that in time it will feel better i just dont want to accept that lol. Stubborn as always.

You ladies on here have been so brilliant and if it wasnt for me lurking in the threads seeing people write asking where i was and a couple of PMs i think i would have stayed stuck in my own head which is never good.

I feel much better today since speaking to people on here, i can be quite doom and gloom when i am down and sometimes i just need to snap out of it, its like something takes over me. So I did my hair, got some long blonde extensions in and did my makeup and cooking a stew for when OH comes home, its kinda nice doing normal things. I think i hit rock bottom this weekend so this week should be better.

Love all you girlies, really dont know what i would do without this forum lol big hugs xxxxx

 

[k8_005]

Agree with kanga sometime things said seem heartless or incorrect but its just feelings the first time I lost my baby to anaceaphaly I couldn't bear everyone saying how brave I was.... It wasn't a choice it was the way things were I wasn't brave I was doing all I could to stay sane time really did help me so much so that we tried again we found the same problem with this baby and here I am again is it easier a second time around ? Not in terms of sadness but its easier to understand what your body is found (mostly) and its easier for you to accept you are allowed to grieve but in time you are also allowed to move on that doesn't mean forgettin Lo or forgetting the pain and hurt but it means being able to accept that this has happened its terrible but life around you does go on and you have to with time that is right for you continue your life it never means forgettin about the ones you loose and never means forgettin the sadness its not said to upset you just to remind you that you can and will find a way to continue your life and there is hope for being happy again one day. I hope that makes more sense big hugs you are never alone and we are all here for each and every person who suffers such a raw deal in life xxx

 

[netty]

I think you hit the nail on the head there hun, i am ready to finally just relax this week while i am off work, and start to do the things that make me happy. I draw and paint alot so i may do that, my house is spotless as all i have done today is clean and buzz about doing odd jobs and i have actually enjoyed just pottering about.

Its nice to feel something again as i was totally emotionless for a good few days and thats the most awful feeling i have ever had

 

[kanga86]

glad to hear u have been doing some normal things today lynette, definitely a step in the right direction! I am still trying to find my motivation to get off my bum and do things. But i am feeling in a better place than i was yesterday.

Quite excited for my delivery of a new washing machine and tumbe dryer on thursday Not so excited about the cost, but hey ho, its always nice to get new things!! Delivery any time from 7am to 7pm, bit excessive right? Hopefully i will keep busy pottering around the house xx

 

[netty]

i love getting new appliances as sad as it sounds, anything for the house I love. We are waiting for a new 3 and 2 seater leather recliner sofas eek! On credit from DFS but they are gorgeous

 

[kanga86]

ooh lovely! i wish we had new sofas ours are from a charity shop and one is starting t break, u realy sink into it!

our washing machine and tumble dryer are on credit from argos!! pay nothing for 9 months! We did need a washing machine though as ours trips the electrics!! cant wait to be able to wash my clothes again!! x

 

[Corrinne37]

Agree with kanga sometime things said seem heartless or incorrect but its just feelings the first time I lost my baby to anaceaphaly I couldn't bear everyone saying how brave I was.... It wasn't a choice it was the way things were I wasn't brave I was doing all I could to stay sane time really did help me so much so that we tried again we found the same problem with this baby and here I am again is it easier a second time around ? Not in terms of sadness but its easier to understand what your body is found (mostly) and its easier for you to accept you are allowed to grieve but in time you are also allowed to move on that doesn't mean forgettin Lo or forgetting the pain and hurt but it means being able to accept that this has happened its terrible but life around you does go on and you have to with time that is right for you continue your life it never means forgettin about the ones you loose and never means forgettin the sadness its not said to upset you just to remind you that you can and will find a way to continue your life and there is hope for being happy again one day. I hope that makes more sense big hugs you are never alone and we are all here for each and every person who suffers such a raw deal in life xxx

Hi girls,
Just catching up with this thread as have been busy and out and about all day.
I have to agree with what K8 has said here.
After my first MC , the thought of having to go through it again terrified me, I could never, ever go through that again. It would kill me. Shatter me.
But you know I did , and it hasnt killed me.
I have just learnt to accept that these things happen, no it doesnt hurt less, yes it hurts more, but I know how to deal with the pain now, I know how to let go and move on more quickly as I have been through this before, I can honestly say I am such a stronger person
now. I will bounce back, I will survive and I will have my baby and my happy ending , whatever it takes.
Good luck girlies, don't ever lose the faith. xxxx

 

[Hope81]

good morning,

how is everyone? dysco did the dress arrive???? kanga how are you holding? you should be around 11 dpo today? did you try one more hpt? lynette i hope you are enjoying your week off . corinne how is the liquid diet going?

i would never be able to do a liquid diet btw lol....

i am completely exhausted and thats only after one on duty night...more to come the next weeks anyway i couldn't sleep after i eventually got home yesterday afternoon and its always so annoying that after 36 h of not sleeping to not be able to just relax and sleep so i cleaned around the house and then went for a walk with my oh and then tried to sleep again with no luck....i fell asleep at around 4 in the morning so today i am not a happy bunny at work lol

i hope to catch with the other threads soon. someone to tell me if i miss sth important please lol.

have a nice day everyone! any lovely plans for today or the next days???

 

[Corrinne37]

Hi hope,
yes liquid diet is going ok, feeling very hungry, but atleast it gives me another emotion to think about other than the MC!!.

Theres me thinking i was being really strong, then my work have just phoned me to say they havent rec'd my docs note to be signed off and that they are expecting me back this Saturday. When asked how I was I just got all emotional and started crying on the phone! Feel so stupid, unless this was just me being very clever to ensure they give me full pay!!
Or was it the thought of reality and going back to work????????

Oh and yes I have a cold saw!!! Great!I never get them. So all in all feeling pretty cr*p!! xx

 

[netty]

hey ladies,

what liquid diet are you on corrinne? I am on a health kick i have decided and previously lost 2 stone just usuing asdas own slimming milkshake! so i may try that again, always remember being sooo hungry though so not looking forward to that too much. I wanna go back down to 9 stone wish me luck!
also i cried when talking to my manager at work dont worry lol and for me it was the prospect of getting back to real life it scared the shit out of me,

 

[Corrinne37]

Hey lynette,
well i did start on the cambridge which is just all shakes, but i have had little bits of protein as so hungry.
Weight will still come off.
Cambridge is quite pricey I had some shakes over from before, when run out will prob go to tesco own brand - as all same stuff. I love the shakes!!
Good luck!!!!! xxxx

 

[Hope81]

good morning

how are you girls?


i can't wait for the weekend to come. we don't have plans yet but the saturday can't come fast enough.

we did manage to dtd yesterday night, though i was mostly 1/2 asleep that would be like 3 days before ovulation but i don't think we will have any other chance this week. So....it will probably will not happen this month but 2 WW here i come beginning with SUnday...
i hate 2 WW

so how is everyone holding on?

have a nice day

 

[Corrinne37]

I conceived both last times about 3 days before OV, (thats cos we were purposely trying for a girl)
So it is very possible Hope!!!
Fingers crossed for you.
Have a good day tooxxx