Our little dream :) Had a mc???

[kanga86]

That's what I was thinking, I don't really fit in the normal rule book for the recovery after the op, as most people have everything taken out soon after their mc. I'm hoping this means I will get my cycles back on track quicker as really do feel as though I want ttc again! I know it's probably on another post somewhere but when did u get ur first AF after ur dnc? If yesterday was cd1 the I'm due AF on the 23rd sept for a 28 day cycle but could be later as sometimes I have 30 day cycles. I really hope I don't have to wait longer than that. I was going to do a hpt tomorrow morning to see if that is negative now. xx

 

[Hope81]

at CD 30 and before i had 25 cycles. Did you ask the doctor about TTC? i would think that is safer after all those problems to wait 1 cycle or did they give you the ok?

 

[kanga86]

They never said either way, but a leaflet I got said to wait til after my first AF! It's going to be so hard to wait, even though I know it's for the best! I must stay strong!!

 

[Hope81]

1 month is really nth. if you want my medical opinion you should wait. yes you can go for it and be lucky and everything can go ok and we saw people before with that situation BUT...

whatever you decide we are here to support you either way anyway

 

[kanga86]

I know another month is nothing compared to what I've been through already this year, never in my life did I think that 6months of my life has been taken over by all this, 12 weeks pregnant and 10 weeks mc!! I just feel as though it has been one long dream and none of it feels real anymore.

I would never get over the pain if I got pregnant quick and then mc again, I would blame not waiting so not sure I could take the risk. Xx

 

[Hope81]

yep that stopped me also from TTC right away. also i needed some time to find myself again. all those worries and feelings i fell like too much negative energy around. i needed time to feel ok again if you know what i mean. i didnt want to rush to it with so many mixed feelings.

 

[kanga86]

I thought I was getting over the greive of what happened but after yesterday and too much thinking, I realise that I had just blocked it all out because it's been going on so long. I really hope now I can move on, as I feel my life has been at a massive stand still since June, and finding it hard to believe it's nearly the end of august. All the bfp's on here today probably haven't helped the down feelings although I know everyone deserves their bfp, just so gutted that it's not me yet! Sorry for the down post! Xx

 

[Hope81]

awww d&c will most certainly help you move. i am sure that in a couple of days you will fell much better though for me this happened when i stopped bleeding as before that i had a constant reminder of what happened.

 

[Hope81]

btw am i completely insensitive that all the bfp or babies that i see around dont make me sad?

i still get the feeling that i first had that i didnt grieve enough for my babys lost
or just that doctor thing made me so thick skinned that i dont even care about loosing my own LO?

oh dear i better stop thinking lol your emotions and reactions sound far normal than mine. i would be frustrated and completely wasted too if i was bleeding for 9 weeks after the mc.

 

[kanga86]

Aww Hope sorry I've got u thinking ! Most of the time I'm happy for the bfp's on here, just today it seems too much to deal with. I think being a doctor ur not insensitive u just find a way of blocking the hurt so much, even if it is for ur lo. I don't think u don't care about loosing ur lo, but don't beat urself up about ur feelings as everyone copes differently. I block out my feelings most of the time, and forget I was pregnant! I mean how can u forget u had a lo? xx

 

[Hope81]

well kanga i forgot about having an LO the day i stopped bleeding. now it all seems that happened in a dream or years ago or to someone else if you know what i mean. But i was sure thats how i will feel even from the day that i saw an empty sac at 6 weeks...

i had to brake bad news to patients so many times and i saw so many of them dying without me being able to help them that i suppose it somehow changed my defend mechanisms... or at least i hope thats the problem and not that i am not able to be maternal or bond with my baby...but i will not even go thinking about this...


right i am going to pick my oh and God helps him if he is drunk lol. BTW i am sure that we will miss the fertile days because of that lol...but i jus cnat tell him huni lets get DTD because i am close to ovulation
oh well there is always next month

goodnight kanga, go rest and i hope you will feel 100 times better tomorrow

 

[kanga86]

I get exactly what u mean about feeling as though it happened someone else. I really feel as though ur job and having to be the bearer of bad news to patients as definitely altered ur defensive mechanisms. Maybe with the oh being drunk he might want to bd anyway. My oh usually does

I will probably be on tomorrow morning but travelling to Wales tomorrow afternoon and not home til Tuesday, I hope I can get wifi in the hotel others I might suffer withdrawal symptoms

 

[Hope81]

Good morning at home in bed today and probably for the rest of the week. I can barely move around....

My oh wasn't drunk but we didn't DTD anyway as we were both so tired at that h...so with only one time near ovulation dosent seem very likely for this month but you can never know...

Kanga how are y feeling?
Dysco you have to tell me everything about your camping

Have a nice day

 

[dyscochick]

Camping was awesome! lots of fun with lovely friends, two dogs and 6 month old little one of one of my closest friends! Here's a shot from yesterday.

 

[dyscochick]

can't upload for some reason, will try later x

 

[kanga86]

Hey ladies, I have had a lovely time away in Wales, still finding it strange they have a different accent to me! Think it sounds cool though

Leaving for home soon, so have 3 hours in the car with the in laws again, 3 days together is getting a bit much!

I am feeling a bit better now, but yesterday and today I have been getting some strong cramps and more bleeding. So my wishful thinking of only having the pink tinge for a few days is gone!

Hope it only takes the one time near ov to catch it, I'm sure that's all we did when I fell in April, but even then I'm not sure. I didn't even think we had dtd at the right time at all that month! Sorry to hear that ur back is playing up, hope u feel better soon though xx

 

[dyscochick]

Here is a phot of camping.

Kanga I live in Wales (I'm a londonder originally) so I know all about the odd accents! Gotta love the Welsh though! Sorry you are having cramps now but fingers crossed its the beginning of the end and you'll be pg so soon you'll both be leaving me behind! For your sakes I'm really hoping for that
xxxxx

 

[Hope81]

hey,

dysco that looks fun, did you have a good weather? was it hard to be near a so young baby?

kanga sorry you have a hard time, i hope you will feel all better soon. glad you enjoyed the weeding. though 3 days with oh family sounds like tough lol.

i am still at home, mostly doing nth, sleeping is a nightmare too as i hurt so much every time i try to move in my sleep so not much sleeping...the weather is still crappy, not too cold but its raining and so so windy. i think this is the end of the summer...in norway...i didnt even wear my summer clothes...God i so miss Greece

dysco btw are there toilets where people goes camping?or you just have to use the nature lol.i even hold my pee when we are downtown so i dont use the restaurant etc toilets go figure trying to use the nature for that purpose or an unclean toilet...and thats why i suppose i never been camping lol. though i admit it looks fun.

 

[kanga86]

No dysco, we can't leave u behind! Hopefully u won't be too far behind us, if and when we get our bfp's!

It was so hard being at the wedding because I really want to be married now, and that's 2 weddings I've been too of couples younger than me and been with their oh for less time. I just wish the whole wedding thing didn't have to be so complicated, my families don't get on with each other so really don't want any thing kickin off. Plus I hate bring centre of attention so a whole day about me and my oh doesn't not seem like fun!

I keep telling my oh I want to be married on the 5th march 2012, as that is our 10 years anniversary! maybe I can arrange a trip away with a few friends and just get married!

And from ur post in deedee's thread I feel that same, I should have had my 20 week scan by now and should've been supporting some sort of bump at the wedding yesterday! but we can't keep dwelling on what should've been and try and get past it, although I know in January I'm going to be a mess! Xx

 

[dyscochick]

At the campsite we were fairly close to a loo block where there were good hot showers and clean loos. Its a bit rough and ready but we had a LOT of fun on the beach, and its quite a unique experience. I'll attach more phots later, need to work out how to batch process them all to a reasonable size!

Kanga, I think if your families are hard work, just go on holiday and do it. Go to a registry office (our one in Cardiff is lovely) arrange for everyone to be in the pub and surprise them! how much fun would that be

Being around the little one is hard but Rose is practically my niece, me and her mum and VERY close and I've been so involved in her life I'm just glad she's still there!