OH is a weed smoker... advice please.

[fabwisp]

The thing is this, this forum is usually a happy place where woman (like me) can come and recieve friendly advice and support, its not usually a place where arguments occur, if one of us is feeling down then usually the help is there to pick us back up again, its about positivity, and good sound advice, sometimes girls need to vent, and yes the facility is there for them.to have a good moan, but without trying to be disrespectful, I think when.you have been around-the-clock so to speak you will come to a point where you will realise that drugs and alcohol are not acceptable around babies and children, it is personal choice, but unfortunately those who usually partake in these things to excess are in my opinion too selfish to consider the health and feelings of those around them anyway. And the personal choice of the child is not regarded, weed, in fact is just as destructive as alcohol, it gets a grip and tares your life apart, can lead to psychological problems including paranoia for one, I don't that its overreacting to want to protect your unborn child from this, sorry if this seems like a rant I am.not getting at anyone I just felt the need to clarify a few points, mainly that this is a safe place not a nasty place sigh
Sent from my HTC Desire S using Tapatalk

Thank you Daisy. I have been in the 1st trimester section for a few weeks and the support I have recieved there is amazing. I have had two episodes of bleeding and clots. something to do with my placenta.
The support i have seen other women get too is wonderful. The reassurance everyone gives is wonderful and i hope that i have been able to give that to some of the women there as well. That was why I thought i would pop on here.
I in no way wanted to start a row or upset anyone. but maybe in hindsight i would have been better not posting. i know the answer and what I have to do. but I suppose rather childishly, I needed to hear it from others to confirm my gut feeling is right x

 

[kirstymichelle]

Can he relax without it ? yes he can

Weed induced sleep < nope we just got a puppy and he's been up in the night more than i have to let her out to the toilet and settle her.

He doesnt smoke for stress??? maybe your OH is a heavier user then mine?

I did not judge you i gave an opposite opinion of others that maybe you knew he smoked ?? you didnt specify in your first post that you caught whilst on the pill etc i just gave my opinion and because its one that you or others didnt like to hear you all bacame judgemental on my life , pot calling kettle black spings to mind.

If you dont like it and he doesnt want to stop then finishing it is not unreasonable but you cant force someone to quit! By the way cannabis /weed isnt actaully a physical addiction , the only physical addiction you gat from smoking it is a nicotene addiction .


i didnt judge you just the situation , i dont know you! but you have all judged me from one post . Frm this i see that a few women on here are judgemental and best avoided, it seems that i am not allowed a difference of opinion

 

[xxbeckyxx]

All I will say on this matter is that men don't really 'get' pregnancy. There were a lot of things my OH was doing/not doing during my pregnancy that made me question how we would raise our baby.
HOWEVER, when this 'bump' becomes their own living, breathing, noisy child, most men finally realise what we've been going on about for the last 9 months!!

 

[fabwisp]

And fabwisp I totally u.derstand your dilema, have you thought about gettin.g him some professional help with hobo.g up he dies soy.d like he us trying to be supportive, I wish you all the luck in the world with this xx
Sent from my HTC Desire S using Tapatalk

He is supportive and i think he does want to quit. Just doesn't know how to cope with the real world without it. TBH i wouldn't know who to approach for help.
It will be sad if he doesn't manage it as he is such a wonderful man. But the physical effects it has on him, would make him a danger to the baby imo. And no use to me in a crisis. Not to mention the irresponsibility of me to allow a child to grow up around his father smoking weed, even though it is outside. it would be normal to that child and i don't want a child to grow up thinking it is normal.
I just can't work out how long i should give him to try and sort himself out. x

 

[fabwisp]

Can he relax without it ? yes he can

Weed induced sleep < nope we just got a puppy and he's been up in the night more than i have to let her out to the toilet and settle her.

He doesnt smoke for stress??? maybe your OH is a heavier user then mine?

I did not judge you i gave an opposite opinion of others that maybe you knew he smoked ?? you didnt specify in your first post that you caught whilst on the pill etc i just gave my opinion and because its one that you or others didnt like to hear you all bacame judgemental on my life , pot calling kettle black spings to mind.

If you dont like it and he doesnt want to stop then finishing it is not unreasonable but you cant force someone to quit! By the way cannabis /weed isnt actaully a physical addiction , the only physical addiction you gat from smoking it is a nicotene addiction .


i didnt judge you just the situation , i dont know you! but you have all judged me from one post . Frm this i see that a few women on here are judgemental and best avoided, it seems that i am not allowed a difference of opinion

NO oNe judged you. You expressed an opinion and others expressed theirs. You were the one who got personal and started attacking others.

Yoou are in serious denial about weed. It is addictive. It is a mentally addictive drug. the physical addiction is gone within a couple of days.

So you would happily leave your newborn with someone who has recently had a smoke? Get in to a car with someone who has smoked? And I hate to say it, but a puppy is no comparrison to a new born.

 

[DaisyPurple]

And fabwisp I totally u.derstand your dilema, have you thought about gettin.g him some professional help with hobo.g up he dies soy.d like he us trying to be supportive, I wish you all the luck in the world with this xx
Sent from my HTC Desire S using Tapatalk

He is supportive and i think he does want to quit. Just doesn't know how to cope with the real world without it. TBH i wouldn't know who to approach for help.
It will be sad if he doesn't manage it as he is such a wonderful man. But the physical effects it has on him, would make him a danger to the baby imo. And no use to me in a crisis. Not to mention the irresponsibility of me to allow a child to grow up around his father smoking weed, even though it is outside. it would be normal to that child and i don't want a child to grow up thinking it is normal.
I just can't work out how long i should give him to try and sort himself out. x

I am glad you understood my predictive text errors, xx

Sent from my HTC Desire S using Tapatalk

 

[fabwisp]

And fabwisp I totally u.derstand your dilema, have you thought about gettin.g him some professional help with hobo.g up he dies soy.d like he us trying to be supportive, I wish you all the luck in the world with this xx
Sent from my HTC Desire S using Tapatalk

He is supportive and i think he does want to quit. Just doesn't know how to cope with the real world without it. TBH i wouldn't know who to approach for help.
It will be sad if he doesn't manage it as he is such a wonderful man. But the physical effects it has on him, would make him a danger to the baby imo. And no use to me in a crisis. Not to mention the irresponsibility of me to allow a child to grow up around his father smoking weed, even though it is outside. it would be normal to that child and i don't want a child to grow up thinking it is normal.
I just can't work out how long i should give him to try and sort himself out. x

I am glad you understood my predictive text errors, xx

Sent from my HTC Desire S using Tapatalk

lol! predictive text is a nightmare! i have sent and recieved some very odd messages when it has decided to use a completely different word to what I wanted! x

 

[Elfs Mummy]

Yes weed does relieve stress and yes it does make reactions sluggish ! there's research to prove all this. I've watched friends of mine became addicted and in turn become completly different people.
I would set a date maybe a Friday so that you can spend the whole weekend together doing fun activities that distract him, maybe organise a short break where he won't have any access to the drug ?
I think you need to give him a chance but if he continues to smoke after a set date he needs to be out until he's kicked the habit xx

 

[fabwisp]

Yes weed does relieve stress and yes it does make reactions sluggish ! there's research to prove all this. I've watched friends of mine became addicted and in turn become completly different people.
I would set a date maybe a Friday so that you can spend the whole weekend together doing fun activities that distract him, maybe organise a short break where he won't have any access to the drug ?
I think you need to give him a chance but if he continues to smoke after a set date he needs to be out until he's kicked the habit xx

Thank you. A short break away does sound like a good idea. i hadn't thought of doing something like that. x

 

[Piglet10]

just came across some info that weed decreases a mans sperm count xx

 

[DaisyPurple]

Also true... Although fabwisp's OH is obviously not affected by this hense the bump xx lol x


Sent from my HTC Desire S using Tapatalk

 

[Piglet10]

very true!! xx

 

[DaisyPurple]

How's your dad today love? X

Sent from my HTC Desire S using Tapatalk

 

[Piglet10]

tbh DP not great , they keep trying him off life support as they think it should be ok but he is not strong enough , so hopefully he picks up soon, theyve prepared us its going to be a long rocky road tho :s thanks for asking!! how r u keeping?? sticking to the diet? ive been so bold lol xxx

 

[DaisyPurple]

Well today I'm a bit picky as in picking at whatever I find lol so will have to write it all down think I need more water tbh, I'm.keeping my fingers crossed that your dad will be ok xx its so worrying isn't it, xxx

Sent from my HTC Desire S using Tapatalk

 

[Sparkle24]

Some people are ignorant.


You wait untill addiction really kicks in and one day you dont have any weed, arguments start, trying to get money from you. you only have £10 left you wont give it to him, what does he do....kick the crap out of you and take the money anyway. Been there, Long story.
but come on how can you justify smoking weed, you cant. Its childish.
As far as my opinion goes i dont speed in my car because its illegal, i dont do drugs because its illegal. things are illegal for a reason.

 

[DaisyPurple]

This is true, for the record (forgot to add this earlier) I don't speed either, and try to live my life as safely as possible, our kids learn from us, they look up to us to see how to do things, I want to be a good role model for my child, xx

Sent from my HTC Desire S using Tapatalk

 

[cosmicgirl]

sparkle, drugs ruin lives end of.
My idea of a perfect oh (if there was one, there isn't, no one is perfect) is not one who smokes weed! Some people just need to justify it to themselves.
My oh may not wash the dishes but he doesn't smoke drugs x

 

[Hayley1608]

Even if he isnt smoking it around you hun it will be on his clothes.

I smoked before getting pregnant... not weed just standard cigarettes and so did my partner. It was easier for me to give up than it was for my partner however he realised the importance of creating a safer environment for our baby.

The first and best thing you can ever do as a mother is to create a healty and safe environment for you to progress in pregnancy and for your baby to be born into. In my opinion this should be his main priority too.

Even if you knew he was smoking weed when you conceived that doesnt make it acceptable for him to continue doing it now. Its not just his health he is jepordising anymore... even if he isnt smoking it around you with normal cigarettes you are constantly breathing out chemicals even when you are not actively smoking so it must be a lot worse with weed.

I hope you manage to work things out

Xx

 

[cosmicgirl]

he does way more than the average man i've been reading the post ' your OH annoying habbits' and i'm glad to say my OH is far more considerate than all those men put together , he cooks , cleans up after himself , is respectful of me , never raises his voice at me , tidy , clean blah blah blah and i'd never dis him out on here for other women to GAGGLE over . So go on JUMP ON THAT^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ x

Your oh's are all rubbish - they should be more like my perfect drug smokin oh Hahahaha