miscarried at 20 weeks... very very long and alot of detail
- Thread starter ebony
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hun im so sorry for what you are going through 
i lost my 2nd child who was also named Jamie at 34 weeks they said he had been dead at least 24 hours and up to 1 week which i went mad and said i had been feeling movements the day before apparently this is common as its actually your womb starting to settle which you can feel 
and not baby moving i would definately complain about the way you were treated i found a lot of the staff at the hospital where i was were not trained to deal with things like this and caused me quite a bit of distress write down everything you felt was not done right and tell the consultant about it i did this when i got my post mortom results as i thought maybe it will save the next poor person going through the same things
hun things will never be the same for you again there will always be someone missing but in time you will look at your precious photo and smile and only see what a beautiful baby you had your precious son was too beautiful for this earth
can i also suggest you join the SANDS forums where you will find many people who are going through the same thing as yourself i found a lot of comfort talking to people who understood what i was going through and who gave me fantastic support when i was at my lowest you will also be able to find a local sands support group through them where if you felt up to it you could go and meet other mums and dads in the same position as yourself xxxxxxxx
i lost my 2nd child who was also named Jamie at 34 weeks they said he had been dead at least 24 hours and up to 1 week which i went mad and said i had been feeling movements the day before apparently this is common as its actually your womb starting to settle which you can feel and not baby moving i would definately complain about the way you were treated i found a lot of the staff at the hospital where i was were not trained to deal with things like this and caused me quite a bit of distress write down everything you felt was not done right and tell the consultant about it i did this when i got my post mortom results as i thought maybe it will save the next poor person going through the same things hun things will never be the same for you again there will always be someone missing but in time you will look at your precious photo and smile and only see what a beautiful baby you had your precious son was too beautiful for this earth
can i also suggest you join the SANDS forums where you will find many people who are going through the same thing as yourself i found a lot of comfort talking to people who understood what i was going through and who gave me fantastic support when i was at my lowest you will also be able to find a local sands support group through them where if you felt up to it you could go and meet other mums and dads in the same position as yourself
xxxxxxxxmrs_tommo22
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I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful boy Ebony.
claire2711
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so so sorry for your loss hun, i bet he was gorgeous RIP Jamie xxx
xxx
MagicMarkers
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So sorry hun, hopefully you can get some answers
jsykes1975
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Hi Ebony,
I miscarried at 18 weeks in similar circumstances.
It was thought at the post mortem that a clot on the placenta suggested it had become detached from the womb.
It was also at post mortem that we found out the baby was a girl and not a boy as originally thought.
We named her Emma Mary and although delivered on 02.05.08, her due date was 01.10.08.
We were utterly devastated.
I am pregnant again and due on 18.04.09 but it's an anxious pregnancy and not the enjoyable one I experienced earlier in the year and with my 2 other children.
I hope you got some answers in the post mortem results.
And some peace of mind.
Julie
I miscarried at 18 weeks in similar circumstances.
It was thought at the post mortem that a clot on the placenta suggested it had become detached from the womb.
It was also at post mortem that we found out the baby was a girl and not a boy as originally thought.
We named her Emma Mary and although delivered on 02.05.08, her due date was 01.10.08.
We were utterly devastated.
I am pregnant again and due on 18.04.09 but it's an anxious pregnancy and not the enjoyable one I experienced earlier in the year and with my 2 other children.
I hope you got some answers in the post mortem results.
And some peace of mind.
Julie
dina.marie
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i dont know what to say ebony, im in tears. thats a beautiful poem btw. if it was me, i would complain to the hospital, this has made me so angry. you wouldnt have been left alone if u were giving birth to a living baby so why on earth did they allow you to go through that on ur own. im so so sorry.
Hi Everyone
i would like to thank u all for all your lovely comments and support it has really helped me through the last few months. Jamie was due on 7th Jan and now that has passed i'm now ready to do something about how i was treated at the hospital and try and stop this happening to anyone else. I have a meeting tomorrow with the hospital they want to use me as a learning curve so they can do their best and not make mistakes in the future.
I am going to talk about the following points that happened to me but if anyone would like to add anything from your experiences i would be grateful and pass it on, I know its short notice but I can always raise these at the next meeting.
I want to talk to them about what the Registrar said to me i think they should realise that comments said to you through this very emotional time stay with u forever and that it doesn't matter how many other children u have, comments like u should be grateful or how common it is doesn't help and is really hurtfull.
I asked for a second scan as I was sure I could feel movement but the Registrar refused and gave me no explanation why i would feel things and made me feel stupid for asking, I think every woman who asks for a second scan should have one, your head is all over the place and if this makes u feel better then there should be no questions asked.
I don't think anyone shoud give birth in A&E especially alone with no support or pain releif, I realise this probably doesn't happen that often but this is what i'm most upset about, this particular hospital should change there procedure nobody knew what to do with me so they just left me instead, there must have been someone to call maybe the chaplain or a bereavement officer or at least someone to hold your hand.
Apparently the EPU who normally deal with this sort of thing in my hospital closed down due to cut backs so this is why i was put on other wards that are used to dealing with operations like knee and hip replacements. The staff on the day I had Jamie were really lovely but when I was rushed in 2 weeks later with heavy bleeding they sent my husband home and left me crying alot i had only buried Jamie that day and some of them were very moody and never asked me wat was wrong, so when I tell them this they might think about staff training.
I dont understand why there is no follow up appointment after. I was told to see the gynocologist in six weeks but if I had been seen it would of stopped me from going back into hospital with heavy blood loss and infection.
If the medical photographer does take a picture of your baby it should be done on the same day and if not u should be sat down and explained that your baby had deteriated at the time of the photo and explain that it could be upsetting not just handed over and get on with it. When your baby is born you are not thinking straight and u dont think of buying a camera so i think this should be suggested to you.
Thanks
i would like to thank u all for all your lovely comments and support it has really helped me through the last few months. Jamie was due on 7th Jan and now that has passed i'm now ready to do something about how i was treated at the hospital and try and stop this happening to anyone else. I have a meeting tomorrow with the hospital they want to use me as a learning curve so they can do their best and not make mistakes in the future.
I am going to talk about the following points that happened to me but if anyone would like to add anything from your experiences i would be grateful and pass it on, I know its short notice but I can always raise these at the next meeting.
I want to talk to them about what the Registrar said to me i think they should realise that comments said to you through this very emotional time stay with u forever and that it doesn't matter how many other children u have, comments like u should be grateful or how common it is doesn't help and is really hurtfull.
I asked for a second scan as I was sure I could feel movement but the Registrar refused and gave me no explanation why i would feel things and made me feel stupid for asking, I think every woman who asks for a second scan should have one, your head is all over the place and if this makes u feel better then there should be no questions asked.
I don't think anyone shoud give birth in A&E especially alone with no support or pain releif, I realise this probably doesn't happen that often but this is what i'm most upset about, this particular hospital should change there procedure nobody knew what to do with me so they just left me instead, there must have been someone to call maybe the chaplain or a bereavement officer or at least someone to hold your hand.
Apparently the EPU who normally deal with this sort of thing in my hospital closed down due to cut backs so this is why i was put on other wards that are used to dealing with operations like knee and hip replacements. The staff on the day I had Jamie were really lovely but when I was rushed in 2 weeks later with heavy bleeding they sent my husband home and left me crying alot i had only buried Jamie that day and some of them were very moody and never asked me wat was wrong, so when I tell them this they might think about staff training.
I dont understand why there is no follow up appointment after. I was told to see the gynocologist in six weeks but if I had been seen it would of stopped me from going back into hospital with heavy blood loss and infection.
If the medical photographer does take a picture of your baby it should be done on the same day and if not u should be sat down and explained that your baby had deteriated at the time of the photo and explain that it could be upsetting not just handed over and get on with it. When your baby is born you are not thinking straight and u dont think of buying a camera so i think this should be suggested to you.
Thanks
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