Second miscarriage and very scared

Discussion in 'Coping with Miscarriage & Loss' started by lizsamuel80, Feb 24, 2012.

  1. lizsamuel80

    lizsamuel80 Well-Known Member

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    I had my first MC on Nov 7 2011 at 8 weeks and 2 days but i had had strange cramps and back pain since about 5 weeks. It was an unplanned pregnancy and we had a 10 week holiday planned in December so i was sad but We had the holiday to look forward too. Both the ER doctor and my GP at my follow up said that it was a very clean natural MC and there is no reason why we could not try again when ever we wanted. So we thought we would try while on holiday after all it took us a few months to have our second child back in 2007.

    Dec 7 2011 I had my first period it also happened to be the day we left on our trip 24 hrs of travel with a heavy flow yay! Anyway we figured since my period was pretty much on time we may as well go for it and having 2 docs say we could try ASAP it's all good. Jan 02 2012 We got our first positive. I was so happy we were staying with family in Canada I think I was the happiest I have ever been. Everything was going so well the pregnancy before that i lost in Nov felt so strange so different from my other two (Boy 9 and girl 5) I knew something was up the whole time I didn't even believe I was pregnant. This one I felt so good I'm one of those lucky people who don't get morning sickness so i can never rely on that as a sign. But i still had sore breasts, urination and fatigue. The Fatigue was the worst while were in Disneyland at about 7 weeks. My daughter kept asking me if I was Ok and Geez it felt so great to be so tied. My son kept begging me to go on rides he ended up thinking I was too scared to go one any.

    After that we headed to Vegas. That is the first place I noticed something. I had reached 8 weeks and took some bump photos to document like i usually do. Then we drove for a few hours to Grand Canyon west and spent the day hiking etc. That night we were all tired so we watched a movie about half way through I felt strange very strange. I went to bed very nervous but managed to sleep. On Saturday we flew back to LA for a day before we left America to head to Fiji. That one day in LA was killer. We had finally got to our room I went to the toilet and there was pink CM. I freaked out. My husband managed to calm me down and put me on bed rest. There was nothing else so we hoped.

    We got to Fiji and for two days I just layed in bed or on the pool chairs there was nothing else and i felt normal. We were packing to leave Fiji (I was 10 weeks) when I went to the toilet and noticed two small streaks of red in my CM. I was not hopeful anymore at all. We rang my doc from there and made an appointment for the day we arrived home. I went in and had some blood tests and he sent me off for an emergency US. I could see everything they didn't turn off the extra viewing screen and my baby measured exactly 8 weeks, the day I had felt weird in vegas. I passed the baby two days later with out help.

    Anyway I took it hard very hard and then yesterday I was checking facebook for a reunion I'm meant to be going to in a few months. I get on the first page and there right in my face is "We are expecting baby #3 on September 12!!!!!" My exact words were taken out of my happy mind from a few weeks ago. I died! I know life goes on but it's so hard especially to know that my friend is having a baby that is due on my due date.

    Anyway spoke to my Doc on Wed just gone and I asked for tests. He said they don't usually do anything until you loose 3 and the fact that I've had 2 live births and I'm still young the chances of finding anything is slim. He also said that he doubted that it is hormonal because I don't have trouble getting pregnant. He said maybe this time we should wait a little longer. I'm so scared that it will happen again. Part of me wants to look at the next pregnancy as a dummy run because after that I will get tests for sure.
     
  2. laurat

    laurat Well-Known Member

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    Im so sorry for your loss honey! It truely is devastating! I was like you I know the exact day my baby went as well I felt the difference in my body! I cried that day and went to the dr on the Mon to say I felt something was wrong! She put it down to first baby nerves and told me to go enjoy my pregnancy. Week later I was in hospital bleeding. Scan confirmed my bean had gone! So funny you know your own body!

    You need to take care of you and your family and I reccomend when you feel ready try again! Your know your body. Big Hug! Xx
     
  3. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    Sorry to hear this hun,

    The 3 loss rule is very harsh - I have had 3 losses and am awaiting my results but there is still a high chance our problems staying pregnant will remian unexplained.

    My specialist did tell me the reason the rule is 3 losses is because even after 2 miscarriages statistically your risk for a 3rd loss is very low. Howver once you have that 3rd loss sadly you do become much more at risk to further miscarriage.

    I am 32 and have never had a baby - yet I keep the faith that one day I will.

    I suggest you get yourself physically and emotionally strong and you enjoy your two bub's. When the time is right you can try again!

    Good luck

    xxxxxxxxxx
     
  4. kra0

    kra0 Well-Known Member

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    I'm so sorry for your loss xx this happened me too where I can pinpoint the exact day the baby died and my scan showed I was right. We women just know our bodys so well xxxx

    Sent from my BlackBerry 9800 using Tapatalk
     
  5. lizsamuel80

    lizsamuel80 Well-Known Member

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    Hey Carnat22, I am also 32 and that is another reason my doc is not too worried. He said most people these days start out at my age and we should be fine. I also asked him will I get extra tests when I am pregnant next time and he said "We can do all the tests you want but if the baby is not physically able to survive there is nothing we can do to help." Which after reading heaps of things on google it really is a game of chance. All I can do is make sure I eat right take all my vitamins and pray basically.

    My husband keeps telling me odds are that we will make it next time. But some times it makes me so angry. I don't drink, do drugs or smoke. In fact my 9 year old was shocked to see a beer in my hand the other night. I see people smoking and drinking and they still have healthy babies, why am I having trouble?
     
  6. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    I know it isn't fair....

    I am trying everything in my power to have a sticky bean and some people get pregnant by accident and carry on drinking / smoking etc....

    I try not to be bitter though....

    Your Dr is right (although he could have been a bit more polite!!) our bodies tend to reject non viable fetus's - miscarriage is sadly so common BUT multiple (more than 3) miscarriage does indicate a deeper problem.

    I am sure you'll be fine next time though so when you feel ready I am sure it will happen

    xxxxxxxxxxx
     
    #6 CARNAT22, Feb 25, 2012
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2012

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