Men say the funniest things

[Angela2612]

My oh is making a cheesecake, he just ran into the bathroom (I was having a nice soak!) and in a matter of life and death tone asked "egg YOLK, is the middle bit isn't it?"


Bloody hell!

what a question to be asked while relaxing i sometimes wonder if men have brains they would be lost without us that's for sure

 

[Wills_Mrs]

Loooool. The sleep talking ones sound like me. It was only the other night I whacked myself in the face cause I thought there was a wasp on me & I asked my OH if he'd help me rob a cash point, with a snorkel so no one would know who it is & if I get sent to prison, can I take the Ice cream!

Paha

Me and other half are both absolutely terrible for sleep talking.. One night he got up to go pee and I sat bolt upright with my eyes open and started shouting at him saying I saw with the lollipop lady and don't try to deny it and how ill get that skank and deck her to within an inch of her life!!!! Hahaha!! Don't remember a thing lol..

 

[Titch85]

This morning I received a "To my Boyfriend..." valentine's card!

 

[tweetyfoo]

This morning I received a "To my Boyfriend..." valentine's card!

To be fair I gave DH a blank bday card that says "just for you"


Please excuse any typos from my fat fingers!
Tapatalk madness!

 

[k8_005]

My OH is the funniest when he sleep talks! My fave is being tapped on the shoulder at 3am followed by "thanks for coming I really appreciate it" He then turned over and was asleep in seconds while I was in stiches! Still makes me laugh years later!!

my husband appeared to wake up one night and said to me..... "im a zebra" ...then conked back out he still denys he said it but he soooo did in his sleep still makes me laugh

 

[CeeCee]

LMFAO. Sleep talking is hilarious. It really is.

 

[Titch85]

While talking about the hamster...
Me: have you seen her today?
Oh: no she's not been out
Me: do you think she's ok?
Oh: she was ok when I saw her this morning
Me: you just said you hadn't seen her today?
Oh: no I haven't, I saw her this morning.

 

[evie_smith]

Hahahahahaha!!!

 

[tiaflame]

Oh god I'm actually in tears reading tis thread trying not to laugh out loud!! Xx


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

[vinandbella]

Hahaha titch


Sent from my new shiny iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Robyner]

Upon waking up, my dh's hair was in two massive horns on his head, I couldn't speak for laughing, he looked liked wolverine. Whilst looking in the mirror he says " that's awesome! Someone needs to invent some kind of freeze spray, so my hair can just stay like this!! "Erm... Hairspray has been invented for years darling....

 

[evie_smith]

Lol men! - love it tho freeze spray! Lol

 

[tweetyfoo]

Aww I love that my thread has be resurrected!

I'm trying to think of something stupid that OH has said recently, but can't think of anything in particular

 

[Titch85]

Aww I love that my thread has be resurrected!

I'm trying to think of something stupid that OH has said recently, but can't think of anything in particular

I love this thread, my OH is famous amongst our friends for the stuff he comes out with. He's been doing ok the last few weeks so I haven't had much to post lol.

 

[evie_smith]

My husband this morning (we have just moved house hence registering with doctors)

Him - Zander has a bad cough lets keep him off school today and get him a doctors appointment

Me - well we can keep him off school but we need to register with the doctors first

Him - oh ok we will do that later today - Zander your not going to school today get dressed in your normal clothes


- Zander walks off -

5 mins later Zander comes back

Him - Zander why aren't you in your uniform?!

Zander - but daddy you told me no school

Him - what no your going to school you have to go

Me - but I thought you said to keep him off coz he is sick?????

Danny - oh yea! Have you made him a doctors appointment yet?

 

[Robyner]

has he got pregnancy brain in sympathy?

 

[evie_smith]

Lol I know right aha! Think he was half asleep x

 

[Robyner]

Lol Evie! We went shopping for housy stuff and had just left the car park when I remembered something.Me: crap, king size duvet
Dh: what?
Me: we need one
Dh: we've got one!
Me: Er no we haven't
Dh: you bought one last week!!! Pregnancy brain!!
Me: that's a king size duvet COVER.....


You should have seen him trying to fold a FITTED sheet the other day, I wish I had videoed it. I could hear grunts and groans coming fom the bedroom, he was INSIDE the sheet and looked like he was wearing a pair of wings! Adorable!

 

[evie_smith]

Hahahaha!!!!!!! Xxx

 

[Tiny2012x]

My OH has come out with a few good ones.

Jean Claude Van Dam appears on the tele, OH says "Aw there's the Brussels from Muscles" haha I was like excuse me who? Took him about 5 mins to realise why I was rolling! He's also asked me what National Insurance stands for pmsl.

He's good at talking in his sleep too. He says one night, facing away from me, haha that guy dropped his chinese, an I misheard him and thought he says I want a chinese, so I was like at this time of night, he says nooooo that guy lost his chinese, me - haha really, Aye, he fell down the stairs behind it - 3 second silence - then he starts laughin and says Pr*ck!! I was in stitches, he totally denies it though.

He was sleep walking one night and I gets up to find him peeing in the bath, gross, I know lol so I was like what you doin the toilet is right there, so he stops mid-pee, removes my bloomin toilet seat, dumps it in the bath and continues to pee none the wiser. Needless to say I was not amused at the time ha but can see the funny side now x