JemRose, I know this won't be comfortable to hear, but I can already hear in your posts this morning that you are starting to justify his behaviour for him. You're already forgiving him, you might not think it, but your posts say that all he has to do is apologise. I know I wrote a lengthy post last time he did similar but I stick by that. This is harsh, but honestly, this is not a relationship. This is an ownership.
To make it a bit clearer, imagine having a dog at home. When the dog behaves perfectly and all is going well, the dog sees that it's part of the family, accepted, loved, respected, because you, it's owner, is being always lovely. If the dog does something wrong though, the owner will immediately do something to correct that behaviour. The dog is ONLY in a position of feeling like one of the family while it is being good. The moment it is bad, the ownership is reinforced and the dog is reminded that it is actually not in an equal relationship at all.
Your bloke is loving and caring when you fit his accepted parameters for a girlfriend. The moment you don't, you are no longer a partner, you are a belonging that he feels he can dictate behaviour to.
This isn't going to change. He's not, "having a bad day" and he's not doing it because he's worried or stressed. They are total cop outs as are ALL other excuses/reasons.
Him saying sorry...again, means fuck all to him because he knows, as it's worked before, that he can get away with it again and keep you.
Normal people just don't behave that way. Even in the worst of situations, would never speak to a person they loved that way. Yes, in relationships, sometimes we speak out of turn, but that is not your boyfriend. He Has, in a few short months that we are aware of, shown a pattern of behaviour which personally, really worries me. I am worried for you and I am worried for your baby.
I'm not saying to leave him tomorrow, but I am saying to put you and your baby first and make sure you have a back up plan for yourself.
Honestly, I'd have chucked him out after your first post about him and he'd have had to really work to get back in. After the pattern he's shown, I wouldnt even entertain him letting my child see their father treat their mother that way...or be treated that way themselves.
I really am sorry to be so blunt, but from the outside looking in, I just see a twat getting away with treating you like doormat by "acting" like a good boyfriend when he knows he's crossed a line. That good behaviour isn't who he really is. It's just the cover up. It's who he thinks you "deserve" when you fit his ideals. The real him is the one who turns on you when you step out of line.
You're not his possession. Please don't let him keep doing this to you. You deserve so much more.
Xx
