Is this selfish?

[cosmicgirl]

So tar, nicotine and hundreds of carcinogenic (cancer causing) chemicals are "ok" for your unborn baby to breathe???
If you're ok with that though, I feel sorry for your baby

 

[kellymummytobe]

At the end of the day it's up to you if you smoke while pregnant nobody else and some of you are just saying that if you smoke while pregnant then your a bad mum or bad mum to be and tbh that's wrong like I said don't tell me how to look after my baby I know what's best not you you have your opinion and I have mine I'm not telling you how to look after yours so dont tell me how to look after mine when you have been though the stuff I have and walked in my shoes then you can tell me what to do until then I think you should just keep your opinion to yourself fact you may think your helping but your really not your just making people feel like there bad mums and that's not going to help her stop is it


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[kellymummytobe]

And I feel sorry for you tbh love


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[babyem]

I dont think it's right that people are being made to feel like they're a bad mum/mum to be...

tbh, this is gone far enough..

 

[cosmicgirl]

And I feel sorry for you tbh love


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Dont feel sorry for me hun, my children have never inhaled smoke and cancer causing chemicals!
As a mum you put your children first, end of. If you smoke whilst pregant you are putting YOU first! So yeah, I'd say that is not being a very good mum.
I think you are kidding yourself to be honest hun. You and I both know all of the risks of smoking around children and whilst pregnant. It can cause miscarriege, cot death, low birth weight, neurological problems etc etc - I could go on (but i think most arte educated about the risks)
So if you think you and your children are immune to these risks, then crack on hunnie.
How would you feel if your children did suffer ill health because you smoked??

 

[mishi]

I am not arguing with silly people tbh don't tell me what's best for my baby that's my choice I was stating a fact like everyone so just leave it it's up to her how she looks after her baby and up to me how I look after mine


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But poisioning your baby, which is effectively what you do when you smoke, is not 'looking after your baby'!!!

Will you blow smoke in its face when it's outside your uterus, because that's effectively what your doing every day that it's in there?

I know how hard it is to give up, I've smoked on and off probably for longer than you've been alive! I think you both need to not be so selfish.

Your putting the pleasure you get from a hideously dangerous drug ahead of the health and well being of your babies and that is shameful.

 

[cosmicgirl]

I dont think it's right that people are being made to feel like they're a bad mum/mum to be...

tbh, this is gone far enough..

Are some posters getting defensive because they know it is wrong maybe? Touched a nerve with some? (I dont mean you babyem)
There is only one poster who has come on here and caused a stir.
Look at the first post!!
This girl asked for opinions - we gave them!

 

[cosmicgirl]

I am not arguing with silly people tbh don't tell me what's best for my baby that's my choice I was stating a fact like everyone so just leave it it's up to her how she looks after her baby and up to me how I look after mine


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But poisioning your baby, which is effectively what you do when you smoke, is not 'looking after your baby'!!!

Will you blow smoke in its face when it's outside your uterus, because that's effectively what your doing every day that it's in there?

I know how hard it is to give up, I've smoked on and off probably for longer than you've been alive! I think you both need to not be so selfish.

Your putting the pleasure you get from a hideously dangerous drug ahead of the health and well being of your babies and that is shameful.

Couldnt have put it better hunnie xx

 

[maybe baby]

No one is saying anyone in particular is a bad mum but how can you expect people to accept that smoking whilst pregnant is ok?

And really, no matter what your excuses smoking whilst pregnant puts your needs before your child's which is not something that you can class as good or right.

It's also worth considering what some people have been through get the precious life inside them and perhaps that's why they feel so strongly about someone condoning poisoning your unborn baby!!

 

[babyem]

I don't expect people to accept it, it's not acceptable.. And no there are no excuses, but sometimes there are things people need to deal with, and there way is to smoke.. I appreciate that people have been through alot to get to where they are, we have had a lot of heart ache in our family.

This has gone far enough, its not giving advice anymore

 

[cosmicgirl]

Lovin the avatar Maybe
Hope your precious bean is growing nicely xxx

 

[cosmicgirl]

I don't expect people to accept it, it's not acceptable.. And no there are no excuses, but sometimes there are things people need to deal with, and there way is to smoke.. I appreciate that people have been through alot to get to where they are, we have had a lot of heart ache in our family.

This has gone far enough, its not giving advice anymore

But the problem is people coming on and wrongly advising this member that smoking IS acceptable (and that a mw said it was ok to smoke when pregnant) and does no harm, then getting defensive when people say "actually its not"
Wouldn't be right for us to say nothing and the OP to think its ok to smoke and not know the vast amoutn of risks ot her and her baby.

 

[kellymummytobe]

Yeah and that's what I did and you are now making them feel like there bad mums you said what you thought just like I did and look what happens you get a group of people telling you how to look after your baby that's not fare that's not what the pf is for not to make people feel so low about them selfs I mean how would you feel if I said well you not looking after your child properly or that's not how you should bring her or him up they would be better off with out you no that's not fair I know how harmful it is and I know what could happen I am not a bad person I do care about my baby more then you will ever know but you think that me stopping smoking will help me or my baby and your wrong I have done every thing by the book apart from smoking yes I do smoke about 20 to 25 cigs a week I don't chain smoke I smoke when I really need sometimes one on a morning and one before bed yeah maybe that is still harming but this is my baby it's growing inside of me and I decide what's best and if that makes me a bad person then so be it nothing to do with anyone one else.


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[jules84]

I didn't disagree with ANY of the comments saying YES it is selfish, I just don't think it's necessary to put comments in inverted commas mocking the poster.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, it is a forum after all but snidey comments won't get anyone anywhere, except the poster won't come back to this thread and maybe see the reasoning as to why she should give up smoking.

 

[cosmicgirl]

You're not getting it are you?
No one has called anyone a bad mum.
What we have said is that by smoking when pregnant you are putting YOU first and not baby.
Your baby is inhaling poison!
Do you disagree with any of this?
You can have all of the reasons in the world that you smoke (and believe me lots of ladies have been through some horrendous things) but the facts above still stand.
I'm leaving this now, its like talking to a brick wall

 

[babyem]

I don't expect people to accept it, it's not acceptable.. And no there are no excuses, but sometimes there are things people need to deal with, and there way is to smoke.. I appreciate that people have been through alot to get to where they are, we have had a lot of heart ache in our family.

This has gone far enough, its not giving advice anymore

But the problem is people coming on and wrongly advising this member that smoking IS acceptable (and that a mw said it was ok to smoke when pregnant) and does no harm, then getting defensive when people say "actually its not"
Wouldn't be right for us to say nothing and the OP to think its ok to smoke and not know the vast amoutn of risks ot her and her baby.

I totally understand what you mean, and I don't think you can advise someone that it's a good thing, when it clearly isn't. Thats obviously how they choose to live, and I don't think a MW should say that, I think it should more be a case of smoking is wrong however, you need to stop and if you have cut down then at least its a start. No i do agree, the right advice should be given, but I think its just got abit out of hand.

 

[cosmicgirl]

I didn't disagree with ANY of the comments saying YES it is selfish, I just don't think it's necessary to put comments in inverted commas mocking the poster.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, it is a forum after all but snidey comments won't get anyone anywhere, except the poster won't come back to this thread and maybe see the reasoning as to why she should give up smoking.

But she knows the risks - look at the first post - she doesnt want to give up and was asking if it was selfish

 

[cosmicgirl]

I don't expect people to accept it, it's not acceptable.. And no there are no excuses, but sometimes there are things people need to deal with, and there way is to smoke.. I appreciate that people have been through alot to get to where they are, we have had a lot of heart ache in our family.

This has gone far enough, its not giving advice anymore

But the problem is people coming on and wrongly advising this member that smoking IS acceptable (and that a mw said it was ok to smoke when pregnant) and does no harm, then getting defensive when people say "actually its not"
Wouldn't be right for us to say nothing and the OP to think its ok to smoke and not know the vast amoutn of risks ot her and her baby.

I totally understand what you mean, and I don't think you can advise someone that it's a good thing, when it clearly isn't. Thats obviously how they choose to live, and I don't think a MW should say that, I think it should more be a case of smoking is wrong however, you need to stop and if you have cut down then at least its a start. No i do agree, the right advice should be given, but I think its just got abit out of hand.

We're on the same page hun, agree, agree, agree!

 

[babyem]

I didn't disagree with ANY of the comments saying YES it is selfish, I just don't think it's necessary to put comments in inverted commas mocking the poster.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, it is a forum after all but snidey comments won't get anyone anywhere, except the poster won't come back to this thread and maybe see the reasoning as to why she should give up smoking.

this is what I was trying to say before

 

[cosmicgirl]

Good luck with your pregnancies ladies - have a healthy and happy 9 months x