I feel so alone

[Km282]

Hi I'm new to this forum, I am currently miscarrying.. The pregnancy wasn't planned but I was over the moon, now everyone is acting as though the misscarage is a good thing because it wasn't planned. My OH has been brilliant for the first 2 days but he doesn't deal with upset well and thinks I need to put it in the past now ( cos if he puts things out of his mind they can't bother him) .. But how can I ?!? My levels are still pregnant so technically it's not even over yet? Also I just wondered I only spotted for 3 days slight red blood for 1 n then spotted for another ( would provably have filled 2 pads the entire time , obviously I wouldn't leave them on that long lol) .. My hgc levels are dropping but surely that can't be it? I'm running my own business and scared of having to have intervention, I just feel so alone n
Figured someone may be able to help x thanks x

 

[babyfever]

Aw hun I'm so sorry you are going through this. Have you had a scan to see if the docs can see what exactly is going on?

 

[Km282]

I had a scan on Sunday 1st April and my hgc levels were at 1300, they told me it was a threatened misscarage and I had to have my levels done in 48 hours n a scan on the Tuesday after, my levels were 565 so I had to have them 48 hours after that (today) and there at 277 so she said I don't need the scan I just have to go back in a week to see what my levels are at then.. I'm still in a lot of pain but haven't been bleeding since Tuesday so am unsure what to think is coming next .. Thanks for reply x

 

[Princess81]

I guess as you know your hcg is dropping then there is medical involvement? It is a hard time and men don't feel it as much as we do generally as we have to go through the physical aspect too. You do need to look after yourself though - hopefully they will scan you to let you know if intervention is needed. Sorry that you are having to go thru this x

 

[Princess81]

Sorry - you were writing at the same time as me x

 

[Km282]

Thanku, we were having problems before this and in a way it's brought us together but at the same time it's masked out other problems which are only going to come bk and bite us in the bum. I'm a childminder and finding it so hard to look after the other children, I love my little boy and don't get me wrong I am blessed to have him I just hate how all my family seems so happy about this when I just want to sit and cry. Fingers crossed my levels drop next week, seems weird wishing that when the first time I prayed they had doubled, but u cant stop what's going to happen so I just want it to be over with as soon as so i can move on.. Not that I will, I want to try again but my OH doesn't so that's going to be tough too, I know it's not the right time but if there will never be a right time where everything is perfect cos that's just life x

 

[babyfever]

I'm sorry your family isn't being more supportive. And your oh wants to just deal with it by not talking about it. I will be praying for you and I hope that things work out for the best. You're right babies don't fix relationship problems I know you were happy this pregnancy was some what bringing you together, I really hope things get better for you hun....

 

[Km282]

Thanku so much, it's so nice to just be able to talk about how I really feel without worrying about upsetting or offending someone, thanks!!

 

[babyfever]

No judgement here we go through things in life(relationship, family, ttc problems) Talking to people who can relate is such a great outlet. Everyone here is super nice and supportive. Just let it hun, we are here for you...

 

[jojo3972]

(((hugs))) how many weeks along were you sorry if you said in previous thread i didnt see,but usualy with mc u bleed a bit or a lot depending how far along u are and usualy pass the sac with is like a little blob of blood again depending how far u are as to how big this will be, i think it can take a fair few days, i just wanted to say how sorry i am u are going through this and men dont cope well with things like this usualy and im sorry ur family cant be there more for u bless ya and we are all here for u to off load to take care xxxxxx

 

[Km282]

Were not 100% sure because im Stil recovering from my laparoscopy from October my cycles wernt regular ( some what none existant) It may have been a missed misscarage because of the measurements but they don't really care at the hospital just dismiss it your miscarrying so why should u care . Somewhere between 6-7 weeks was there estimate though.. I hope I don't have to have anything done but the sooner this is over the better. I hardly eat I dont sleep, I'm still working full time as well as taking care of my 3 year old and I am just drained its all I think about and it kills me to think my LIL boy is picking up on things cos he doesn't understand the oh didn't want him to no wot happened with him ony being 3 but I think he's more confused this way cos he hears bits and bats and puts 2+2 to make 5 .. He burst out crying in swimming lessons and told his teacher mummys going to be staying in the hospital for a long time without me cos she's got a poorly tummy poor thing , hea become all clingy n doesn't want to leave my side now, it really does effect everyone .. Thanks again for all the lovely help I joined another form before this one n noone replied making me think I was being silly x

 

[babyfever]

No Hun not silly at all. I can understand how you want it to be over and done with. Sorry your LO is being affected all you can do is love on him and reassure him you're going to be fine, because sweetly you are. I hope I don't sound insensitive but our bodies know when a pregnancy isn't healthy and treats it as so...aww hun I'm sending you hugs. Maybe if things get better with your oh you can plan your next pregnancy ....

 

[Km282]

Thanks it's made me feel so much better talking to u.. I wish the oh doesn't want one altho the weird thing is he isn't one for plans we didn't plan the first one but he was the best thing ever happened to us. He thinks it's a bad time cos I've just stated my own business n he's been off sick for a year from having a bone graft that didn't work well so were not ready financially, but the way I look at it who is? Theyll always be something needs paying for , I just need to find some failing contraception that has no effect on the unborn baby ha ha I know he'd be over the moon as he was this time lol.. X

 

[mishi]

Sorry you are going through this honey

It's hard for some men to identify with this after the initial shock of the loss, but harder for you as your body doesn't just switch off.

It took 10 years for my hubby to decide he wanted a family, I hope yours comes around soon.xx

 

[CARNAT22]

Sorry to hear you are going through this hun,

With out first miscarriage we had to wait 3 weeks for it to occur! I was scanned every week but the pregnnacy did not progress so it was just a case of waiting for the worst to happen (which is eventually did so I didn't need any medical assistance but I was scanned after to make sure everything had passed)

My OH was supportive but I think once he knew pregnancy wasn't going to progress he was able to deal with and grieve it whereas I was physically still suffering the effects? It took me a lot longer to get through that loss that it did him. It wasn't his fault I guess he just could not fully comprehand and appreciate the emotions you feel when you lose a baby.. It wasn't happening to him the same way it was happening to me?

I hope it all goes smoothly for you and when the time is right I am sure you will go on to have a successful pregnancy!

xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[laurat]

Sorry for your loss honey! Your not alone in PF. Lots of lovely ladies who have bern in the same boat!

 

[Km282]

Thanks, I know I had one day of work which was when I was in hospital all day on the Monday, I worked everyday until today which I was off anyway and he lasted in bed until 12.30pm cos it's his day off work and I got up with our boy at 6.30am, when I told him I felt poorly he laughed n sed it's done with now ( because I haven't been bleeding since Tuesday) altho I'm not convinced its Over with I've has small amounts of red blood, 1 or 2 clots n no tissue so I'm just waiting for the worse altho my levels had dropped a lot so maybe I'm expecting too much to happen.. Your so right there, they experience the emotional side but don't have the physical there aswell i am so drained its unreal !! X

 

[dyscochick]

sorry to here you are going through this hun. it is a different experience for oh, the whole pregnancy is and you just have to keep talking to him and explaining the pain. hope i starts to ease xxx

 

[Km282]

Thanks x

 

[dyscochick]

You aren't alone, we are always here and we know how it feels x