i dont even know if i should be here this month :/

[deedee84]

to be honest i havent really thought about things much since mc regarding things such as af and ttc etc i think thats why i am so laid back about testing lol...i say baby dust to us all anyway and i am sure next time we get our bfp's we will see it thru to the end and get our little bundles xx

 

[Sunbeam638]

Will do mine Sunday next week too! Raxx if you do yours before you MUST let us know and whatever happens as Deedee says we will get our bundles eventually!xxx

 

[deedee84]

how are all my fellow 3wwers this morning?

I have a bloody sore throat thanks to my DD sharing her germs so feeling very lethargic today! And i have a busy week too bah humbug! on a good note, chinese buffet with OH and DD saturday then swimming sunday with my little family...should be fun so at least i have something to look forward to at the end of the week! xx

 

[Sunbeam638]

Morning!

Ah that sounds lovely sorry to hear you are poorly. I am never sick and had a swollen throat last week I took no chances out came the strepsils! I'm on a train heading for a meeting and was calculating my dates to test etc I spoke to my friend on a career break it's definitely something I would consider if I can afford to for the amount I would spend on nursery fees and commuting costs!

I went with my family few weeks ago to a leisure centre and watched them swimming with their 2year old son, they looked so cute. I hope I get my chance soon!

This week I am still on mission beach fit but not going too crazy just in case! My symptoms have faded a bit but yesterday something was going on. BFN, BFP either way I hope something is happening!

How old is your DD? I think if I could I would have them close together but can't rush bloody mother nature ! Xx

 

[deedee84]

i went back to work when my DD was 6months old and it wasn't worth it with the child care costs, near on £400 a month :/ so i quit work and i am glad i did my DD is 4...five in January! tbh i think its a good time to TTC with her been in full time school, shes at that age where if i finally get another baby she can help out and get involved and also will give me a break when shes at school all day looking after a new baby as tbh i think i will deffo have my hands full when i have them both at home all day haha! shes really excited to be a big sister eventually, i just hope it happens soon for her. (although at this rate baby number 2 could possibly be born in summer hols if all goes to plan lol)

Oooh hope that something going on is the sign of a BFP for u hun, i will keep everything crossed for you! I'm not too convinced this time around, theres nothing naddar zilch happening with my body haha! xx

 

[Sunbeam638]

Yeah I think for the amount of hours I would need to spend on child care costs I would be better off reducing my hours drastically plus there is no quality of life for me or family with the amount if hours I do. Plus after hopefully having one I know I would struggle going back to work there is a good maternity package so can take a year off

Ah that's a good age, was it hard seeing her go into full time school?

I'm having a day where im thinking it's a bfn, so I'm on your bench with nadder zilch! I will test on Sunday with a tescos hpt last time I had clearer lines....it's all I can think about at the moment xx

 

[deedee84]

aww thats good that they have a really good maternity package hun bet thats gunna be reassuring when the time comes!

As for full time school i think it made me feel better that she didnt cry and waved me off but to be honest i did nothing but think about her for the first day, shes settled in really well now though and i'm actually enjoying getting some me time lol!

Yeah i'm still going to test sunday, i have had no signs of anything so may as well, got nothing to lose haha! xx

 

[Sunbeam638]

From what I can see on your avatar pic your DD is a right cutie! Even the doll looks realistic I had to double check!

Ah that's good she waved you off, I worry about these things....I have to keep reminding myself I'm not even el preggo! Sunday it is...long week ahead but we are in the same boat which is good!xx

 

[deedee84]

hmmm looks can be deceiving lmao she has been a tiny tearaway since starting school, shes got the attitude of a teenager haha and yes the doll is pretty realistic, such a shame the dog has now eaten its arm lol!

U will make a fab mum when it finally happens hun i just know it and yes its going to be a long week although today has gone pretty quickly for me! xx

 

[Sunbeam638]

Face of an angel lol I like the fact she has an attitude of a teenager, I like cheeky monkeys, girls are so cute even when they pull a mean face!

Right then.....I went to tesco and bought 2 packs of 2 hpt!

My reasons being I wanted to to a test tonight to ensure that there is no pg hormone floating around from my mmc and if there was; then the line will get darker over the next couple of weekends if there was a genuine BFP or I can watch it fade (thats my logic behind it and I am very impatient!)

So I did a test and a clear BFN! Which is fab because my body has returned to normal completely, meaning all I have to do now is see over the next couple of weekends and if it changes I will know its a whole new pg and if it stays BFN well...nothing ventured nothing gained!

I would normally share this with my OH but he will probably think I have lost the plot! So stage 1 of 4 complete...phew!
xxx

 

[deedee84]

i totally understand about your reasoning behind doing a test so early, i was told to test 3 weeks after mc but tested a week after just to see and it was a BFN so i was glad that my hcg had gone back to normal! like you said hun nothing ventured nothing gained stage 1 of 4 hee hee love it...is stage 2 af by any chance lol! I havent shared anything with OH apart from my BFN as i wanted him to know that my body had finally got back to normal for us to try again! i feel so guilty though as he did something ridiculously out of character the other night and i had a right go at him and it turns out that the whole mc has been messing with his head (he suffers from depression as well) i just felt that maybe i had not been there enough for him but then how can i when he doesnt talk to me about things! men! lol he has admitted he needs to talk more about what he's feeling so i hope thats the case! xx

 

[Sunbeam638]

Ah bless your OH, this whole mmc thing is tougher than I ever anticipated it would be.

I was worried about my OH too he is suffers from depression (although he would never show it infront of anyone else) and I was relieved he actually spoke to a mutual friend of ours and told them I mmc. I thought it has obviously played on his mind but I think he just wants to be all positive infront of me. He has been very clingy last couple of weeks, he is normally like a macho macho man...I want to be a macho man! (sorry couldnt resist)

Well, I just walked past the hpt test currently sitting on the kitchen counter..gross I know as OH calls them my 'wee sticks' classy! Luckily OH is working this evening so my wee stick shall be safely placed in my girly bits draw and he would never dare wonder into that territory!

AND there is a shadow where a BFP line should be but its barely there but I am not taking it as anything only as a comparison for stage 2 of 4 commencing sunday! Hee hee Operation Aunty Flo!


xx

 

[deedee84]

Depression seems to be more common that i imagined to be honest! bless your OH been a little clingy, mine goes the other way if i'm been honest so it was nice to chat to him saturday and clear the air etc! haha love the macho man part made me chuckle!

Oooh i do have to confess, i POAS this morning, i found a cheapy in my bag and couldnt resist i thought i saw a really really faint line (and i mean just about non existent) and i threw it out as i knew i would make myself go crazy constantly checking it and squinting lol! so i shall be a good girl and not purchase any until friday and then i will test sunday with a better test and see what that shows! if i am been honest i think i was almost imagining that line this morning haha! oh the joys of TTC! xx

 

[Sunbeam638]

POAS addicts! Which test did you use? Well in May I did a tesco one (early may) and that was clear as day BFN, where as this is faint faint faint...its all in my head faint!

Thats interesting because if you did one a week after your mc which was clear and this one this morning which is faint faint faint then you could be stage 3 of 4 sooner than sunday! Yeah dont cave until the weekend, I only got them because they are cheap as chips although clear blue and first response have money off at the moment in Tesco.

Yeah I am keeping a watchful eye on OH now and giving him cuddles when he needs them! I am not use to this though so quite enjoying being needy! Ah glad you had a heart to heart, I just worry about made up scenarios in my head such as worrying he is worrying about me the next time we get el preggo!

Well this faint line wont stop me having a small glass of red whilst watching Doc Martin otherwise I will loose the plot! You need a magnifying class but still....!
xx

 

[maybe baby]

Good luck for your next tests girls, post me some piccys won't you!

xx

 

[raxx]

Your faint lines sound really positive, ladies! Fx your lines get darker!

 

[Sunbeam638]

Hee hee thank you ladies. I think they are imaginary lines but its great it keeps my mind on something positive! xx

 

[deedee84]

morning ladies...

I have no clue what i used, they are that cheap i cant remember their name haha, 3 strips for £1 a savers lol!

Yeah it is quite interesting re my 2 tests but then is that because the first one i expected it to be negative so didnt inspect too closely and the 2nd one i was secretly hoping for a BFP so analysed it more and half imagined the faintest of lines :/ hmmmm i think thats the likelihood lol.

Hope you enjoyed your nice glass of red...i have had the night from hell. My Oh stayed over at his mums last night and i seem to panic when hes not here so when i went to bed for some reason i inspected the bedroom for spiders, closed my wardrobe door so no spiders could get out haha and watched telly in bed while gettin my self worked up about spiders and thinking "what if one crawls on me in the night etc" Then half way through Big Bro i noticed a shadow on my curtain, i switched the light on n there sat on my curtain was the biggest chuffing spider i ever saw! Daisy cat tried to get it but it ran down the curtain and disappeared so i ended up in bed with my DD hardly slept a wink, then at 5am my stupid smoke alarm decided to take the p*ss and kept going off for no reason so i am totally cream crackered today! sorry for rant haha! xx

 

[raxx]

Oh dear, deedee. Looks like it's going to be a looooonnnnnggg day for you! I hope you will get a chance of a nap at some point. Is it always so hard for you when your OH is away? Just wondering if it might be a symptom

I did 2 tests this morning with FMU - both bfn, not even a sniff of a line! What's going on? I am at least 18dpo and 7 days after what I thought could've been IB. Maybe the stress is keeping the witch away. Grrrr....

 

[deedee84]

yeah its normal for me to sleep crappy when OH is not here, usually i just get into bed and cant sleep and have stupid panic attacks, seems weird i kinda foretold the spider incident :/ it was like a gut feeling that i knew there was one lurking in my bedroom some where!

As for BFN's it could be stress hun we girlies have gone through a lot tbh, not sure how many dpo i am, think i am roughly 13dpo but cant be too sure...had some cm last night and ov pains AGAIN...just think my body is all over at the mo grrrr which is very frustrating! xx