Hydrocephalus - Our baby has now been born - Birth Story on page 18

[xxsammyxx]

Who gave you the tablets? It all just seems like a rush job to me.

One of the people that scanned me to give us a second opinion. It was actually the neurologist that gave us the MRI results and some hope and she definately said if it gets worse we will have options... so where are those options???

The doctor that scanned us was negative from the beginning and even admitted he didnt have enough experience to tell us what the options were so why is he taking our little girls life into his hands without offering us the options we were promised? They told us before if it got worse they could bring her out at 34 weeks... why not if its so bad can they not bring her out now? At least she would have a chance then!!!

 

[Tonks]

I think if it was the sonographer who gave you the tablets and the news, then I would demand a face to face meeting with the neurologist. If she said you'll have options, then I would go with what she says. Like MervsMum says, a sonographer cannot just make this decision.

I understand where you are coming from, they should look at the option of bringing her out early. Like you say, at least there would be a slim chance, rather than no chance with the tablets.

 

[Mervs Mum]

Bin the tablets till you get some proper, professional, experienced opinions. x

 

[Sam's Mum]

I totally agree with the above posts.. They can't expect you to make a decision like this until you have all the information and options given to you by a specialist. Was it an ultrasound today? Can you ask for anothe MRI so they know exactly how much worse things have got? Thinking of you x

 

[xxsammyxx]

I totally agree with the above posts.. They can't expect you to make a decision like this until you have all the information and options given to you by a specialist. Was it an ultrasound today? Can you ask for anothe MRI so they know exactly how much worse things have got? Thinking of you x

Hi,

OH has gone out now for meeting/drinks with his work clients... so much for support. He said WE AGREED!!! I said agreed on what? I never agreed to anything unless she had brain damage and she doesnt right now! Tempers are fraying and now i feel worse. I told him he might as well leave now if thats all he can do RUN, when the going gets tough. The only person that is offering me any support is my other daughter. I think its shameful.

Yes you would have thought they would have offered another MRI or something... the only thing they offered us was two white tablets and a 4pm appointment to go into labour tomorrow!

This sonographer has not got the experience that the neurologist has so why is he now making decisions for us? Why the hell did they not discuss the results with the Neuro and ask her to call us? The only person that has called us it the god damn councellor, yeah like they can help me with advice and decisions. I dont need a councellor right now i need some questions answered and/or some help and advice. I am so mad with OH. It seems he cant go through the emotional "agro" of fighting for her. Its very simple to just say "we will keep a place in our hearts for her and we will try for another one..." well i want THIS ONE! I cant think about another one right now. What a stupid thing to say....

 

[xxsammyxx]

I totally agree with the above posts.. They can't expect you to make a decision like this until you have all the information and options given to you by a specialist. Was it an ultrasound today? Can you ask for anothe MRI so they know exactly how much worse things have got? Thinking of you x

Yes it was just a basic ultrasound.... she was even a trainee on her own!!!! Someone else did come through and re-scan though. I would have thought after all we have been through that a trainee would be a stupid idea!

Thing is the Neurologist is not based at that hospital so chances are they couldnt be bothered to even call her....

 

[Sam's Mum]

I'm sure your OH is finding it hard to deal with too but he should be there with you, not leaving you to deal with it all on your own I think it's terrible that they can't even get someone to speak to you right now too - when they're asking you to make the biggest decision of your life in no time at all.

Do you know the neurologist's name? Is there any way you or one of us can get a contact number? x

 

[xxsammyxx]

Sammy I don't understand why they didn't keep you in in the hospital and help take the burden from you on this, as well as giving a bit of a chance. I hope your OH finds some inner strength and helps to support you, lovely It must be horrific what you're both going through I just wish there was something that could be done to help you both through this

Hi, I have just emailed the contact you gave me to ask for her advice here in Holland....x

 

[Rosie's Mummy]

I am so sorry, I am so sad after reading this, there are no words I can say to make you feel any less pain but I am thinking of you xx

 

[xxsammyxx]

I'm sure your OH is finding it hard to deal with too but he should be there with you, not leaving you to deal with it all on your own I think it's terrible that they can't even get someone to speak to you right now too - when they're asking you to make the biggest decision of your life in no time at all.

Do you know the neurologist's name? Is there any way you or one of us can get a contact number? x

I am sitting here im tears right now, alone... I have just text OH to say i hope he is enjoying his night out while I sit her frantically waiting to hear the fate of our baby. Im sick of him taking secondhand inexperienced advice from these sonographers who dont know very much. Its clear he cant deal with this saying i was messing with his lfe as well by not taking the pills. His life? At least he has one that has some options! I have told him not to bother coming back and I will fight for our daughter on my own, that i hope he doesnt look back in anger if she turns out ok and he has not the chance to watch her grow up. I am so upset... i just wanted him to throw his arms round me and tell me we would do everything we could to help her but he just wants the easy way out, for me to take the pills i think

We dont have the number only of that of the sonographer.... he always calls her as she is at another hospital. I dont think she takes calls from patients only messages from the doctors so she can call us back in her own time... great isnt it?

 

[Rosie's Mummy]

Do whatever you can to fight for your baby if its what YOU want to do, YOU are carrying her - no-one else can feel what you feel. I wish you luck with your OH xxx

 

[Sam's Mum]

It's terrible that they're not taking the time to talk you through any possible options, or if they feel taking the pills is the only one they should have explained why there is no other option - and I find it hard to believe that if the neurologist said you'd have options if things did get worse You would think at least they would have offered you some sort of counselling if not an immediate appointment with a neurologist after your scan today. It's not good enough at all. And I'm so sorry you OH isn't there with you

 

[ToffeePop]

Sammy I don't understand why they didn't keep you in in the hospital and help take the burden from you on this, as well as giving a bit of a chance. I hope your OH finds some inner strength and helps to support you, lovely It must be horrific what you're both going through I just wish there was something that could be done to help you both through this

Hi, I have just emailed the contact you gave me to ask for her advice here in Holland....x

Fabulous- she was asking if you were going to get in touch

 

[Mamafy]

Awww hun I think you're doing the right thing. I'd go back to the people who gave you the hope last time Don't let anyone make this decision for you, I am so sorry for what you're going through

 

[mrsH2009]

So so sorry you are going through this

I agree with what the ladies say and think I would want to go back to neurologist before the tablets passed my lips

 

[xxsammyxx]

It's terrible that they're not taking the time to talk you through any possible options, or if they feel taking the pills is the only one they should have explained why there is no other option - and I find it hard to believe that if the neurologist said you'd have options if things did get worse You would think at least they would have offered you some sort of counselling if not an immediate appointment with a neurologist after your scan today. It's not good enough at all. And I'm so sorry you OH isn't there with you

I think personally there are too many fingers in the pie. First of all we were scanned 2 weeks ago by a sono, told she had Hydro but they were not experienced to say what would happen or our options then we have an MRI, were told there would always be options to bring her out early, etc etc and now we have gone back to the sono's who can offer no options but the two white pills. Do they know what the hell they are doing? I know they have no grief for our child and must see this all the time and just want to usher us off to the delivery suite but WE actually care!!! I can only trust the Neuro but i cant even speak to the Neuro I had last time who was really nice as she is not available.... I have to speak to someone who i have never met by telephone! I might just wait until she is god damn available whenever that may be!

 

[Sam's Mum]

I certainly wouldn't let anyone make you feel pushed into a decision you're not ready to make until you have spoken to every single person you need information and options from I'm so sorry you're not getting more support x

 

[Piglet10]

i cant give any more advice other than what the other ladies have said... i really hope that you can get in contact with someone soon. at the end of the day even if you do have to take the pills what is the rush until they have found out for sure the damage??? good luck with everything esp your other half. and i would honestly like to say you must have done a pretty good job with your other child if she can be there for you at this time. thinking of you xxx

 

[Pompey_Princess]

words cannot express how sorry i am, i cannot agree more with what the other ladies have said, speak to everyone you can honey before making your decision, i wish i could find some words to help you, you and your daughter are in my thoughts xx

 

[evie_smith]

if i was you hun i would get myself up the hospital no matter what time get someone to look after your daughter and not move untill you get someone to disguss your options and talk about taking her out early. Im so sorry for everything your going thought hun love and kisses from me and my family x x x