How have your OHs reacted?

[Mrs CW]

Hi all

I was just wondering how your OHs have reacted to everything?
My hubby has always been quite laid back and hes not been any different with the knowledge that we are expecting. He just doesn't want to talk about it at all and when I try I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall ! If we go to our parents both mums want to talk about it, not excessively, but checking how I'm feeling, when the next appointment is etc, as soon as we leave Hubby tells me that we're all getting too excited and that we haven't had a scan yet!
I got my scan date through last week and had a bit of a wobble thinking what if things go wrong - I told hubby how I was feeling and he didn't even respond which really upset me!

He went out saturday night and text when he was drunk that he loves me and bump even if he doesn't seem excited about it which made me feel better. I know that we will both relax a bit more once we've had our scan but I'm worried about his reaction at the moment and I don't know how to get him to be more interested - if thats the right thing to say?!

Sorry for the long post
Cat x

 

[kpd]

Shame Mrs CW, maybe he is just trying not to get too excited untill u have the scan and know everything is okay. But still, why don't you talk to him about it again and let him know it is really upsetting you and that you need his support at the moment.

 

[Mrs CW]

I have tried although I will try again! Hes one of those men that doesn't show his feelings often, if hes feeling emotional he will just take himself off on his own. I'm hoping that after the text on saturday he might be more open to talking about it but I don't want to push him too hard! x

 

[Tryingagain Em]

My other half is exactly the same. We MC last year and when I showed him the first test I did he said, now let's not get excited it might be nothing. Then when I did another 2 tests he was still very much, well ok but it's early days. I couldn't wait to phone my parents and tell them, the only people we said we'd tell was our parents, but he didn't seem that bothered. When I told him I had tummy pains, he asked if I had "stuff" with me just in case I was MC again. We don't know how far along we are due to my PCOS and have to wait for a scan to find out but he doesn't seem to want to get excited.

Then the other morning as I got out of bed, he kissed me on the forehead and then kissed my belly!

I think men are sometimes just not capable of showing the same excitement as us because we have the hormones running through us and can feel the pains and flutterings. Give him time, I'm sure once he hears the heartbeat he will melt!

Here's to the first scan!!! Xxx

 

[Mrs CW]

Thanks Em.
We had an mc in feb so I think hes being more reserved this time as hes worried. I hope once we've had our scan he will show his excitement! I'm sure your OH will do the same! x

 

[Constantstar]

Hi all

I was just wondering how your OHs have reacted to everything?
My hubby has always been quite laid back and hes not been any different with the knowledge that we are expecting. He just doesn't want to talk about it at all and when I try I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall ! If we go to our parents both mums want to talk about it, not excessively, but checking how I'm feeling, when the next appointment is etc, as soon as we leave Hubby tells me that we're all getting too excited and that we haven't had a scan yet!
I got my scan date through last week and had a bit of a wobble thinking what if things go wrong - I told hubby how I was feeling and he didn't even respond which really upset me!

He went out saturday night and text when he was drunk that he loves me and bump even if he doesn't seem excited about it which made me feel better. I know that we will both relax a bit more once we've had our scan but I'm worried about his reaction at the moment and I don't know how to get him to be more interested - if thats the right thing to say?!

Sorry for the long post
Cat x

We had a mc in April 10 and a chemical preg in aug and got preg again in Oct 10 now with 7 weeks to go. When showed him my preg test I left t on the side he didn't really react he said he ws scared to make a fuss incase it happened again. H is very laud back to man on little words and like u If he is out I may get a drunk text saying love u and bump etc but would be nice if he was being a bit more fussy. It became more real when we saw baby at 12 weeks then 20 weeks but I just don't think it will hit him ( or me) till I'm in labour and baby is here! But totally getwhere ur coming from xx

 

[Samsgirl]

i think he is just wary and scared for you both following the mc. he will not want to believe it this time until he sees it on the scan. just remember us ladies have better ways of coping with these things...men struggle.

he will just remember the pain you both felt at the time and he will be struggling to get past that at the moment...

bet when he sees that healthy little bundle, all with change

xx

 

[Taassh_0x]

This is a bit of a personal question but have you or yor hubby had pregnancy troubles in the past? Because me and OH had and he didn't sink in to it properly until after the 20 week scan. But he don't get as excited as me, when he kicks he feels it once and then moves his hand out the way... pregnancy isn't as exciting to men because they don't experience the pregnancy feeling like we do... I'm sure if pregnancy made us turn into tellitubies with screens on our bellys that they could watch the match on in HD they would soon be interested!! Lol! Try not to worry, he could be worrying about complications cuz OH did in early pregnancy, he said he didn't want to tempt fate and for something to go wrong so just give him time... you've got 40 weeks after all! x

 

[Cazza]

It's the opposite here I'm afraid!!

My OH wants to be very excited but I just can't be until scans etc are all ok.

After a MMC in Januar and age against us I just don't feel able to be overly excited yet!!

 

[Princess81]

My o/h seemed very unitersted generally at first. When I mc'd in January he was very practical about it and showed no emotion at all (that's just him though, the way he is)

With this one, when I told him I was pregnant he said congratulations to me like it was just my news and not his. However, as it's progressed he's got a lot more interested. He came to one of my early scans and I think it made it kick in with him and now he genuinely seems quite excited about it.

He left to go back to work today for the week and told me to look after the baby - aaaw. x

 

[1986princess]

my oh was thrilled when i told him! But was fairly quiet about it for a week, perhaps because we dont know how many weeks and havnt had scan yet plus mc in march affected him.I said why arent u excited or wanting to talk about it etc and he said because it was early days!

so i left it and dont mention much about baby stuff. however for the past 3 days hes been asking me how i feel and doing a bit more in the house and has arranged all his friends to help us with the move into new house so i dont have to lift a finger!

also said to me this morning then when we have a few days off we will have to go and get me some nice maternity clothes so i feel good over next few months.

so they all come round eventually!

 

[ceris]

mine didn't seem bothered at all until he came to my 2nd scan at 8 weeks. then it totally changed! he now drives me mad trying to do everything for me!!! we have just started telling the customers in our pub and the parents at my dance school, and having the 12 week scan picture helped too as it looks lke a baby!!

until he came to the scan, i elt like he didnt care, and i was doing all on my own. we had a MC in january, and i think he just ddnt want to get his hopes up....
you might find your other half will be different after seeing it for himself! it is truly amazing o see your little one jumping around!!

xxx

 

[Mrs CW]

Thanks for all your replies! I hope once we've had our 12 week scan on the 20th he might start talking about it more and be a bit more relaxed! I've managed to get a bit more of a response from him today so hopefully he's already starting to relax a bit although he'll always be a man of few words! X