Guess I belong here for now

[SiameseCatLady]

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[SiameseCatLady]

I know I am stalking you, lovely, but I was just told to go home.
When I passed my baby, I rang EPU but they did nothing and told me to just wait it out and take painkillers.
It was just a case of waiting for the bleeding to stop from that point, sadly, but you said that you weren't feeling well, so perhaps A and E is best to get you checked out.
So many of us have been there.... Hope this gives you a bit of hope.
I never believed I could have a baby after experiencing a mc, but it's possible. Keep your chin up and remember there is hope, when you're ready. Xxxxxx

 

[Clover]

Hi Siamesecatlady
I like the fact that your stalking me you are so kind and really helping me through this ordeal

I've updated on Tri 1 but I'd best update in here I'm just waiting now as my hcg has risen but not enough so they suspect a failing pregnancy or an eptopic
Repeat bloods tomorrow

Just want this nightmare to end

xxxxxxx

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[Clover]

I'm bleeding more heavily and it hurts now I think this is it
Laying down on my bed just want it over with

xxxxx


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[Emily0505]

Oh hun

I hope it happens quickly for you and that the pain isn't too bad.

Mine was over and done with in a few hours.

Def take some pain killers if it's hurting.

I'm so sorry sweetheart

XX

 

[Clover]

Well the pain has eased off a bit, I'm still bleeding dark red now, a bit clotty
I have a constant ache in my lower left uterus area
It's not right sided do I'm not worried about it being eptopic pain
Been thinking tonight about TTC again
I do want to try again but I just don't know if I can face it, it was a bloody miricle that I got pregnant as my Dr said ot would be unlikely due my PCOS and low egg reserve /quality

What if it takes 2 years again? Do I have the strength to put myself and my family through that and with perhaps the same outcome? I'm not getting any younger so it's a decision I really need to think long and hard about


xxxxxxx

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[Tonks82]

Oh Clover so sorry Hun.

It is natural to start thinking back to the ttc journey again. I think with mine in Jan I was crying and having panic attacks about starting all over again.
I'm not going to lie when we started trying again and got my AF it fucking hurt like hell it was a bitter reminder of everything I lost and went through, but it does get easier.

Things will get clearer in your head. At the moment your probably thinking a million things at once while still trying to get your head round what's happened so suddenly.

You will get strength from somewhere lovely whether you decide its for a ttc break or to start trying again.

Big hugs Hun xxxx

 

[Emily0505]

Awww Gail hun.

Don't make any decisions right now.

When we were at the hospital having found out we'd lost Lil RB, I said to hubby we'll take a break and ntnp again for a while. Well, not long after I was kicking myself for saying it and wanted to get straight back to ttc properly. Luckily hubby was happy to go along with it.

Give yourself some time before you decide what you want to do. Once you've got over the shock of all of this you might feel ready and more determined than ever to get your rainbow or you might want to take a break from it all.

Losing your little one is awful but you did manage to get pregnant naturally, which is brilliant. It is said that women can be more fertile after a mc so it may not take so long next time should you decide to try again.

Your head is bound to be all over the place at the moment. You've had something you've tried for and wanted so badly for two years, just snatched away from you suddenly and it's going to knock you for six. Take some time and see how you feel.

XX

 

[Maaaaaac]

Ohno! Clover! Youve been soo nice to everyone and so supportive i hope we can help you. Hope you get a sticky baby soon. Thinking of you x

 

[SiameseCatLady]

Well the pain has eased off a bit, I'm still bleeding dark red now, a bit clotty
I have a constant ache in my lower left uterus area
It's not right sided do I'm not worried about it being eptopic pain
Been thinking tonight about TTC again
I do want to try again but I just don't know if I can face it, it was a bloody miricle that I got pregnant as my Dr said ot would be unlikely due my PCOS and low egg reserve /quality

What if it takes 2 years again? Do I have the strength to put myself and my family through that and with perhaps the same outcome? I'm not getting any younger so it's a decision I really need to think long and hard about


xxxxxxx

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What ifs are always there after this, I think!
But you're all over the place, as would be normal. Your mind is jumping to all of these thoughts, which is natural I believe, but you're not in the right place to be deciding about it yet. You'll find the time comes when the decision comes to you and then it will be the right time. You'll just know. I really understand it's not just as simple as just trying for you and just getting pregnant, which makes it harder.
I think you should take some time to do some stuff that you love, or a bit of art therapy?
Something that stops me thinking about stuff, silly as it is, is those flipping 'paint a pot' centres! I could quite happily paint 4/5 of those in a row and not say a word to anyone, in my own little world!
Maybe on your own, or maybe with your precious little ones.
You need you time. You can't be expected to bounce back and make all the decisions straight away.
I know it's hard when you have children, but your OH sounds lovely. Could you find a good friend and do something like a spa day when you're over the horrible bits?
You deserve it and need it!
Going to mention Miscarriage Association again....😉
I believe that it's ladies' mental health that is most affected by these tragedies. After my experiences and those I have seen from others, when I stop worrying about what my useless body is doing to my baby, I am seriously considering researching mental health in pregnancy and supporting a charity or trying to set something up. It's not a priority and people are just sent into a quite literal limbo, which makes physical healing harder.
Still thinking of you.
Look after yourself. Xxxxx

 

[Clover]

I feel really sad this morning, had a dream about my baby she was beautiful, woke up feeling overwhelmed with grief, can't stop crying
This time last week we were setting off on holiday I was so happy and now a week later I'm losing my baby
Siamesecatlady and Emily thank you both so much for your kindness, I don't think I'm doing very well mentally, the fact that a miscarriage / eptopic hasn't been officially confirmed is really hurting me because I know in my heart that I've lost my baby but then there's the small glimmer of hope ....
I'm at the hospital this morning at 10am for bloods again

xxxxxx

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[Clover]

Bloods are back but waiting to be reviewed by the Dr, nurse has just done my blood pressure and temp and asked me of I have any pain and if it's right sided
She also asked about shoulder pain

xxxxx

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[Charlotte9]

Oh this waiting in so hard. Hope you get some answers soon Gail. Hugs xxxxx

Why did she ask about the shoulder pain??? x

 

[Clover]

Thanks Charlotte I've seen your other post on my other thread, I just don't know where to post tbh I don't want to upset anyone so I'll probably carry on posting here
I think shoulder pain is a sign of Eptopic
So that's why she asked, I get a feeling my bloods may have risen if she's still ?? Eptopic

Bleeding is just on wiping but dark red now

xxxx

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[Charlotte9]

Oh Gail, this waiting is insane. Why can't they just say what is going on.

I hope its nothing complicated. Docs hurry up, its so stressful. Hugs my lovely xxxxx

 

[lisey]

So sorry you're going through all of this clover and I hope you get answers soon xx

 

[Slb24]

Any news yet Hun? Xx

 

[Clover]

Just been seen by the Dr my hcg has gone up but not enough to be a viable pregnancy , there is still the risk that it's eptopic but because I have no pain and a sac was seen in the womb the chances are it's a 'straightforward ' miscarriage (her words not mine)

Xxxxx

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[Slb24]

I'm so sorry Hun. What's the plan now? Just keep monitoring you?

It's such a difficult time and I hope you have all the support you need.

We are all here for you!

Remember.. After every storm comes a rainbow.

You will get there Hun xxx

 

[Clover]

It just upsets me that they act like I have no feelings it's like they are saying yay it's not an eptopic it's only a miscarriage

xxxxx



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