Ex chartstalkers pg or just taking a break!

[choklatemunky]

Hope you are ok flossy

 

[Loola]

Morning ladies! Just bumping the thread!

How are you now Flossy? Hope all is ok.

How was everyones weekend? Mine was really quiet, spent most of it cleaning. I also had my hair done in Katie Holmes style bob with thick fringe, quite a drastic change and its taking some getting used to. Ill post a pic when I get home.

What a great way to start the day though, reading Sookies news! So so happy for her!

Any news from Mildly? Hope the baby is on its way soon!

 

[choklatemunky]

Oscar is here Loola! (see Tri 3)
And YEY for Sookie (that made me smile this mornin too!)

 

[Loola]

Ooh thanks Chok! Ill have a look now!

 

[sally12]

Such good news about Mildly and Sookie! Its a good day already!

Chok - its great we have our scans on the same day...I am so excited! We are taking with us all grandparents-to-be which is a bit daunting!

Hope you are OK Flossy - have lots of these

Hope everyone is well x x

 

[Kittykins]

woohoo for Sookie!

and hurrah for Mildly/Oscar! I'm off to Tri3 to get the details then...


hope everyone else is well. Sorry I've not been around. I've not been feeling great at all. I went to the doctor this morning for my check-up (11 days after the D&C); I suddenly started bleeding really heavily and cramping over the weekend and he's diagnosed endometritis (infection of the uterine lining). I have a slightly raised temperature, raised heart rate and am really tired/achey. He does not think there are any retained products, but that during the D&C the lining may have been cut or scraped too deeply and it has not healed but has become infected instead. SO I'm now on antibiotics. I hope they work fast. At the moment I want to cancel the holiday, I feel so crap. Plus the bikini/sanitary towel combination is never a good look. It might be cancelled for us, anyway - our flights were with XL. Our holiday company has assured us it's working flat out to charter another plane for Saturday...

Sorry to be the dampener on all the good news. I'll hibernate till I'm feeling better!

 

[choklatemunky]

Oh Kitty - things just HAVE to get better for you soon......
Sorry you have been feeling pants and that you have had complications from the op.
I do hope the antibiotics kick in quickly and things get sorted out for the holiday......I'm sure, if the flights get sorted out, you will have a good time when you get there.

 

[Loola]

Oh kitty, you are really having a shit time arent you I really hope you do get the holiday sorted cos If anyone needed a break its you. I really hope you feel better soon. It sounds very painful and I would be right pissed off If I was in your situation. I also echo what you said in the email.

 

[Trudyscrumptious76]

Oh no Kitty. It doesn't rain it pours doesn't it. I really hope you get your holiday sorted. I know it's not nice needing sanitary towels on hol, but lets face it getting away from here for a while can't be bad. The break will do you good hun, even if you just lie by the pool with a sarong round your waist and lose yourself in a good book. It's better to do it in the Sun than here. I hope it all works out. Ditto for me too re: your e-mail.

 

[kmac]

Kitty - just wanted to give you lots of these
And babydust is right - you don't need to hibernate, we are all here to listen!
Hope the antibiotics do the trick and you get sorted for your holiday.
xxxx

 

[Kittykins]

thank you all

I hate moaning but I feel so down at the moment. It's over 7 weeks of bleeding more or less every day now and I just can't take any more. It just doesn't stop. I'm a mess at the moment and I feel so powerless and demotivated. I can't even try to lose the flab that's piled on because I can't go swimming, wearing sanitary towels when running is too uncomfortable and the gym with communal showers/changing rooms is obviously out when you're bleeding! So basically, I'm feeling lower than I've ever felt before and I want to walk away from it all but that's not possible. The disappointment of miscarrying, I can cope with. 7 weeks of bleeding, waiting and waiting for it all to be over, I can't.

Anyway, that really was a whinge. I'm sorry. Especially as writing it all down makes me feel worse, not better!

 

[choklatemunky]

Oh Kitty no-one can blame you for feeling low, after everything that's happened. It must be awful in that you don't have a proper end to things yet. I bet that you haven't piled on loads of flab! I think you just think you have as you aren't feeling good in yourself. I just hope things work themselves out for you soon so you can get back to some sort of normality.
You don't need to be sorry at all for having a whinge! We are all here for each other, good times and bad......right girls

 

[Loola]

Absolutely! We are always here if you ever need to moan, or dance with joy! and trust me if I was going through what you are I would be moaning a hell of a lot more. How are you feeling today?

How is everyone else?

 

[Trudyscrumptious76]

Well said Chok and Loola!!! If you can't moan at us Kitty who can you moan at. I'm ok having a bit of a surreal day with a work colleague. Not sure what's going on will have a chat at lunch with him. Hope you're all okay on this lovely cloudy day.

 

[Loola]

That sounds very interesting Sadie! do tell us after lunch!

 

[Trudyscrumptious76]

LOL Loola!!! It's all fine. He's a really nice guy who I get on really well with, he's married too. I've met his wife he's met DH we've been to their house for a party, it's all above board!!!! Well this guy and I usually have lunch together 2-3 times a week, and we have a real giggle, he's from the same town as DH so knows lots of our friends and his wife has a friend in my home town so we have stuff in common outside of work. It's been nice as he wasn't around when I was off sick for 6 months with depression so treats me like I'm normal. (well as normal as I can be!)

Anywho, there's a girl who has to have all the male attention in the office. She'll arrange lunch out and only invite the lads. Which the rest of us find quite amusing as we don't really care. Yesterday I heard her and him laughing in the kitchen and felt a stab of what can only be described as jealousy! I immediately went down to tell him as it was so weird and I knew he'd find it funny, but then couldn't put it into words. I had to work in his office this morning and there was a definite tension in the air, talking about stuff but not mentioning 'it'. So I finally told him today and as predicted he laughed and told me I was being odd and all is good, but it's still weird. He even told me that it wasn't just him and her in the room, which I didn't need to know. I wouldn't mind but I don't even fancy him. I wish I did it would make sense!

Everytime I hear her talking to him I want to smack her one. Can someone tell me WTF is going on??? I'm seething now coz I can hear her. I feel like a 5 year old. 'He's my friend not yours!!!' It does feel like something has shifted though now we've had this chat. Should I not spend so much time with him, is the old adage 'men and women can't be just friends' true? I've always had more guys friends than girls so don't see it as a problem, but the rumour mill is churning in the office.

Oh dear until I've just seen it written down I didn't think there was a problem. What to do?

 

[choklatemunky]

Aww Trudy!

 

[Trudyscrumptious76]

I was quite sensible for once and didn't say jealous to him. I just said I felt like smacking her one!!!! I don't know if that is worse! But I thought I'd be honest with you guys and say how it made me feel. I think you're right babydust, it's just her I'm reacting to, she knows we're friends and can't stand it that he'd rather spend time with me than her. She'll hover by his office door if I'm in there and eavesdrop and then when we're talking about something she knows about she'll happen to pop in and join in. I think she's the one who started the rumors! B*tch.

 

[Kittykins]

hi again and thanks so much to everyone. I haven't told many people IRL either about the pregnancy or the m/c - only my parents and brothers, and three friends. One of those friends is very busy with her 5mo baby, but she had a m/c and was signed off work for 6 weeks - so she sort of understands. But not quite. She thinks I must be devastated at the loss of the baby (and I might well be if there ever had been a baby, but there was only ever an empty sac. Try as I might, not even I can wish an empty sac had continued!). I'm more upset at the fact I can't move on. I want to get back to normal and try again. It's ....


Trudy - I know I shouldn't but what a predicament you've got yourself into!!! I wouldn't worry too much. I'd agree with babydust all the way though. I suspect that as amusing as you find this girl's flirting, the jealousy is of her rather than of the guy. Would you have felt the same if you had heard any other female colleague laughing with this friend of yours? If you would, then maybe you need to think a bit more about your friendship. If not, then it's clear the problem is with the girl. I know what you mean, to a certain extent. I had a close friendship with a married male colleague a few years back and it was entirely platonic (any thoughts of anything else, yeuch! I liked him but def wouldn't have fancied him even if I hadn't been with DH!) - but I found myself getting really jealous when the office predatory flirt went out with a drink with him. I think it was a combination of factors - I really didn't like the other woman at all, so I was peed off that my friend liked her enough to go for a drink with her; I was feeling very insecure, and afraid that the topic of conversation was me (goodness knows why); plus I thought of him as 'my property' - we worked on several projects together, we recruited new staff together, we were a team in the office. So I felt she was muscling in. I think I was a bit afraid that she would take my work as well as my friend! But I think mostly I was really jealous because she was such a flirt and I can't do that. I despised her behaviour, but maybe I was a bit envious too. She was using power that either I didn't have or wasn't willing to use, and I felt there was something really underhand about it that I couldn't express.

So I think what you're feeling is perfectly normal - but I think there are little things in your post that you maybe need to think carefully about. I noticed that in justifying your friendship you didn't say that you didn't fancy him at all, or that you love your DH so much that any suggestion of anything non-platonic would be ridiculous. Also your first reaction was to tell this guy, without thinking about how to phrase it first. Have you told your DH? I reckon a basic rule is that if you tell another guy something you wouldn't be willing to tell DH, then maybe you should think hard about your motives. Plus you mentioned the office rumour-mill - well, if the office rumour mill is going, then you definitely need to be careful. There's usually a grain of truth in an office rumour - but the extent to which it is exaggerated can be really damaging.

I don't know everything about you, but from what I do know, you've had a sh*t time over the past year and you haven't got through it yet. You said not so long ago that you'd been feeling really depressed. Maybe you're friends with this guy because he makes you feel good about yourself. Maybe you felt jealous because you thought he was making someone else feel good (hence the laughter) or that he would no longer make you feel good. Maybe at the moment you and your DH just aren't spending enough time together, and that you're getting more attention from your friend at work than you are from DH at home. Maybe your self-esteem is pretty low at the moment and your reaction was similar to mine - that the other woman has something you haven't.

If any of these ring true, I'd say you need to get to the root of the problem first. Are you still running? You were on such a high after that race, which you did with your DH. Maybe you could aim for another one, make yourself feel good again. Or find something else to do that would give you a sense of achievement. Maybe you just need to do some nice things with DH for a bit, and get him to pay you some attention. Office rumours would soon die down if you were meeting your DH for a drink after work instead of going out with your friend. On the other hand, it might just be one of those things - wrong thing, wrong time, wrong reaction...

Anyway, I really hope you sort things out, I can understand why you're feeling so confused at the moment. And if you want to email me please do!

 

[Kittykins]

ps - Trudy, I know you posted in between but I spent so long thinking what to reply to your previous post that no way was I going to scrap it!