Ex chartstalkers pg or just taking a break!
- Thread starter Trudyscrumptious76
- Start date
Trudyscrumptious76 said:
Ooooo Loola, maybe my prayers for holey condoms worked!!!!
If somehow Mikes few spermies have got through a barrier of latex and spermicide after all those bloody months of trying at the best times they will be in serious trouble with me for ruining my wedding day!
I love your pushchair ROM! So cute! I love the polka dots too! If I had that Id wear my polka dot dresses whilst pushing it, and be like the rockabilly version of Daniella Westbrook in her burberry outfit with burberry pushchair
You have a fantastic bump Flossy! I think this must herald the start of the other ladies posting their bump pics! (Like I havent hinted enough already
)Congratulations to getting to the last baby on your ticker Chok!
Fab bump Claire! I want one!
The wedding is 8 and a half months away so a BFP couldnt really come at a worse time! It would be a 'will she make it down the aisle before she pops' type of wedding, and I wouldnt be able to drink or go on honeymoon! Thankfully I have started spotting now so no chance of it.
Hmm does make me think though, I remember ovulation really well as it killed me this time, it was definitely on the night of Saturday November 1st, it was so painful I couldnt get to sleep, and I thought to myself it must have been a whopper of an egg to hurt that much and what a waste that nothing was going to come of it. So that means by luteal phase has increased by at least 2 days this month
Ill keep an eye on that! Not that Im complaining, a longer luteal phase would be just fine!
The wedding is 8 and a half months away so a BFP couldnt really come at a worse time! It would be a 'will she make it down the aisle before she pops' type of wedding, and I wouldnt be able to drink or go on honeymoon! Thankfully I have started spotting now so no chance of it.
Hmm does make me think though, I remember ovulation really well as it killed me this time, it was definitely on the night of Saturday November 1st, it was so painful I couldnt get to sleep, and I thought to myself it must have been a whopper of an egg to hurt that much and what a waste that nothing was going to come of it. So that means by luteal phase has increased by at least 2 days this month
Ill keep an eye on that! Not that Im complaining, a longer luteal phase would be just fine! mrs_tommo22
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Great too see you on Loola!!!
Hi everyone!
So I've been absent for a few weeks and I log back on to such wonderful news!!! CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS SaDi!!!!
I am over the moon for you. I understand how you muct be feeling, but we are all here 
that this is a sticky one. I've been thinking about you a bit lately, and how unfair it is that you have been waiting so long to get your BFP, so I am just really chuffed for you 
Tasha! You too!!! CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS!!! So pleased for you darlin! Am it's a sticky one too.
Hi
to everyone else.
Well, I am doing ok this week. Last week wasn't great. I found that I thought I was ok at first, but then after a week and a half or so I got really upset and emotional. I was crying a lot. Anyway, as Kitty recommended I bought some I/Cs and was monitoring my drop in HCG. The tests were fading. By Sunday it was negative, and I was over the worst of the upset (Thursday, Friday and Saturday were really bad). It didn't help that the day of the D&C we had asked to have the house to ourselves for when I got back from the hospital (DH's parents were there for the weekend as its their beach house) and they said 'no, we're not leaving'. This created a conflict that I didn't need and meant that I sort of delayed my grieving. I was really pi**ed at my MIL for not being sensitive. She thought I was being selfish, and what right did I have to ask them to leave their own house, yadda yadda yadda (and yes they knew all about it). I didn't think it was too much to ask to be alone and have some privacy. They were planning to leave at 7pm and we asked them to go at 5pm. Was that unreasonable? Anyway, I'm over it now, but it really upset me.
So what are you're thoughts on trying again before AF comes? I know the HCG is gone as I watched the tests fade. Plus am back temping so will know when I ov (god knows when that will be though!) So figure that shouldn't be a problem for dating if I was to fall. Not sure that I want to go crazy, but don't want to prevent either. I feel ready to try again, but the doctors all said to wait a cycle or two. What do you think?
We move house on Friday, so can't wait to be in my own place again. Hopefully will have internet up and running in 10 days or so, and I will be checking in more regularly.
Hope you're all well.
So I've been absent for a few weeks and I log back on to such wonderful news!!! CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS SaDi!!!!
I am over the moon for you. I understand how you muct be feeling, but we are all here that this is a sticky one. I've been thinking about you a bit lately, and how unfair it is that you have been waiting so long to get your BFP, so I am just really chuffed for you Tasha! You too!!! CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS!!! So pleased for you darlin! Am
it's a sticky one too.Hi
to everyone else.Well, I am doing ok this week. Last week wasn't great. I found that I thought I was ok at first, but then after a week and a half or so I got really upset and emotional. I was crying a lot. Anyway, as Kitty recommended I bought some I/Cs and was monitoring my drop in HCG. The tests were fading. By Sunday it was negative, and I was over the worst of the upset (Thursday, Friday and Saturday were really bad). It didn't help that the day of the D&C we had asked to have the house to ourselves for when I got back from the hospital (DH's parents were there for the weekend as its their beach house) and they said 'no, we're not leaving'. This created a conflict that I didn't need and meant that I sort of delayed my grieving. I was really pi**ed at my MIL for not being sensitive. She thought I was being selfish, and what right did I have to ask them to leave their own house, yadda yadda yadda (and yes they knew all about it). I didn't think it was too much to ask to be alone and have some privacy. They were planning to leave at 7pm and we asked them to go at 5pm. Was that unreasonable? Anyway, I'm over it now, but it really upset me.
So what are you're thoughts on trying again before AF comes? I know the HCG is gone as I watched the tests fade. Plus am back temping so will know when I ov (god knows when that will be though!) So figure that shouldn't be a problem for dating if I was to fall. Not sure that I want to go crazy, but don't want to prevent either. I feel ready to try again, but the doctors all said to wait a cycle or two. What do you think?
We move house on Friday, so can't wait to be in my own place again. Hopefully will have internet up and running in 10 days or so, and I will be checking in more regularly.
Hope you're all well.
Trudyscrumptious76
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Oh Sookie you poor love. Fancy making a fuss over 2 hours?? I'm sorry you've had such a rotten time. As for trying again I say try right away if you feel you're up to it. My Doc told me to wait until AF returned but apparently you're body is very fertile after a MC. I wish I'd tried straight away.
Thanks for the congrats.Still sinking in. I'm trying not to get too excited until I see LO on the screen.
As for trying again I say try right away if you feel you're up to it. My Doc told me to wait until AF returned but apparently you're body is very fertile after a MC. I wish I'd tried straight away. Thanks for the congrats.Still sinking in. I'm trying not to get too excited until I see LO on the screen.
rach said:sally where have you been hun ive been worried about you
Whoops sorry Rach - Ive had internet issues
but I am back now and will come on over...at least you noticed I was missing...unlike the rest of this lot! Trudy - Try to stay positive for you LO...there is not much you can do to help things along but I think even very tiny Little Ones can pick up on our feelings
Im sure it will be fine...just take it easy!! Sookie - What an awful MIL
You were right to be mad..I cant believe it! You would think that she would do everything she could to help! As for TTC...I say "get back on that horse!!!" If you feel ready then I see no reason not to and like Trudys says, you might be extra fertile!Babydust - what a lovely bump!
But where is your extra weight that we are 'meant' to put on? You lucky lucky thing!choklatemunky
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Sookie - nasty MIL! 
You should just do whatever feels right to you with regard to trying...I read that the main reason Drs say to wait is for their own benefit re dating (and you will be able to do that anyway) so if you are ready then go for it!
You should just do whatever feels right to you with regard to trying...I read that the main reason Drs say to wait is for their own benefit re dating (and you will be able to do that anyway) so if you are ready then go for it!
Hey everyone. Wow, what a lot of news! Sorry to have missed it. Things have been busy - loads of marking, plus I've been out nearly every evening (all work-related, sadly..) and it was my brother's 30th so a big family celebration at the weekend...
but goodness, I don't even know where to begin. Congrats to Trudy, of course, and again... How come every time I turn my back for a couple of days, someone goes and gets a BFP?!
Great bump pics, ladies! I did have a small bump last night, but finally relieved my constipation this morning and the bump went
I'm not sure there's a lot that can shift constipation - it happens in its own time
Unfortunately I eat a lot of fruit normally, and I just can't manage any extra. I'd normally have prunes a couple of times a week, often in casseroles, or stewed in brandy or red wine with meat, or chopped small in a chocolate pudding... That might work for anyone who doesn't normally eat them, but I think I'd need kilos of the bloody things. On Monday I had 11 different portions of fruit and veg, including a 500g bag of prunes(!), swam 1.5km without stopping (sounds much more impressive than admitting it was only 60 lengths!) and still no reaction until this morning 
And the downside of prunes is that you end up with a lot of gas stuck behind all the solid stuff, which works its way out at the most inopportune moments Lovely, eh? Sorry everyone...
Trudy, I had about a week to ten days of funny pulling twinges in my abdomen, immediately after my BFP. Not really cramps... not painful so much as very uncomfortable - and they were quick, and would come and go.
Well, m'dear, you can probably guess what I'd say about trying again immediately after a D&C for a blighted ovum... BOLLOX TO THE DOCTORS! Do what's right for you - it's your body, not theirs. And what are they going to do if you do get pg? Refuse to treat you?! There are two main issues: 1) doctors' opinions and 2) your mental health. If medical opinion was unanimous, I'd say go with it. But the fact your doctors said to wait a cycle or two, a friend's said wait three months, another's said wait 6 months, and mine all said no need to wait suggests to me that in the absence of a specific individual reason, there is no medical evidence to back up any particular recommendation. If your doctors had said that they had accidentally cut the uterine wall, or that it was a particularly complicated D&C, and that you would need to allow extra time to heal, then that would be a good reason to wait. However, if they used that kind of reasoning, I would be demanding u/s scans to check that I had healed properly... My doctors told me that the usual reason for a recommendation of a month or two (and I asked both gynaes) was because it's much easier to date (e.g. my LMP with this pregnancy is actually 11 June, same as the last) - but that will not be an issue if you know your ov date (my doc has simply made up a new LMP for me based on ov date minus 14 - the benefits of charting!) - and because many women will need that time to recover emotionally. The docs do not want to be responsible for a woman trying before she's ready, and for a lot of women, being told that can't try absolves them of pressure/responsibility/guilt.
That leads us to 2) mental health. I thought long and hard about this after the m/c. For some reason I convinced myself that I'd get pg if we tried right away (well, I had a weird dream, but that makes me sound like a freak, so I shall tell you that I read that statistically, women DO appear to be more fertile immediately after a m/c, as Trudy said, and thus I calculated that there was an increased probability of pregnancy. That makes me sound much more sane). I asked myself the following questions:
1) Do I feel prepared for another pg so soon? Or will I feel guilty for not preparing myself better, i.e. regaining fitness, losing the bloat, etc?
2) Will I be able to separate the two pgs? Or will I see the second as a continuation of the first, and be convinced that it will follow the same template? (that I have struggled with, I admit. In some ways it would have been good to have had the clean break of a period between them)
3) How will I cope with m/c? (this is the important question - it was only when I finally convinced myself that if I was to m/c again, I'd get over it, that I was willing to try. But for me, I had to work out dates, and get to grips with the realisation that I could actually be pg for 6 months, and still end up with no baby to show for it - that has to be worse than two separate 3-month m/cs when at least you've felt normal in between).
4) What if I actually don't get pg? The finality of not being pg might hit rather harder than if you had deliberately planned not to be, by waiting till after AF. This may sound really odd, but I was so convinced that I would get pg that had my period come instead, I think I would have had a breakdown. I would not have coped with that.
Only you can know. But I honestly think that your own responses to the above questions are much more important than your doctors' opinions, UNLESS they have given solid medical reasons for their recommendation. If it's generic advice, it's useless.
Obviously, I'm delighted that I'm pg again - and my doctor is also delighted and says there is no reason why this shouldn't go to term. But it would be wrong of me not to mention that it has not been easy. My biggest issue is that of separation of pregnancies. I find it very difficult to remember that I am only 6w pregnant, not 22w pregnant. I keep expecting to have developed a bump. I get false confidence syndrome - mentally I feel like I'm past the first tri, then I get a really nasty shock when I realise that's all still ahead - and I feel cold and sick at the thought of it all. I forget that it's too early to tell people - I have, after all, been pregnant since June, with just a week of negative tests in the middle of that. I want to move on already. I'm sure there's a lot a psychologist could have a field day with, but these things really are the hardest, along with the obvious worry (but then, I think once you've had a m/c, you're going to worry with any pg, doesn't matter how long the gap between).
and yeah, I'm not impressed with your MIL either. Mine is lovely, though it's all a bit difficult at the moment. She keeps phoning up every couple of days to find out how I am post-m/c, and then gets really upset about it... we haven't told her about the new pg, since if that went wrong, we really don't think she'd cope (it's all bringing back bad memories of her own m/cs) but in the meantime I feel terrible. She's being so sweet, offering support and advice and then getting upset over the loss of her potential grandchild, and I feel like a fraud as I try to console her! But I'd go for a weepy MIL any day over your insensitive one...
ok, this has turned into another really long post.
And now I feel knackered and queasy and I haven't really responded to anyone else
Please forgive me, I love you all dearly, I don't mean to offend anyone, and if I go like this anymore I'll make myself cry
oh yes, did I mention I've been getting very over-emotional recently?! will try to catch up properly in the next couple of days, but we're away for the weekend with friends (that'll be interesting, hiding the pg from THEM!) so may not be till next week...
but goodness, I don't even know where to begin. Congrats to Trudy, of course, and again...
How come every time I turn my back for a couple of days, someone goes and gets a BFP?!Great bump pics, ladies! I did have a small bump last night, but finally relieved my constipation this morning and the bump went
I'm not sure there's a lot that can shift constipation - it happens in its own time
Unfortunately I eat a lot of fruit normally, and I just can't manage any extra. I'd normally have prunes a couple of times a week, often in casseroles, or stewed in brandy or red wine with meat, or chopped small in a chocolate pudding... That might work for anyone who doesn't normally eat them, but I think I'd need kilos of the bloody things. On Monday I had 11 different portions of fruit and veg, including a 500g bag of prunes(!), swam 1.5km without stopping (sounds much more impressive than admitting it was only 60 lengths!) and still no reaction until this morning And the downside of prunes is that you end up with a lot of gas stuck behind all the solid stuff, which works its way out at the most inopportune moments Lovely, eh? Sorry everyone... Trudy, I had about a week to ten days of funny pulling twinges in my abdomen, immediately after my BFP. Not really cramps... not painful so much as very uncomfortable - and they were quick, and would come and go.
sookie said:
Well, m'dear, you can probably guess what I'd say about trying again immediately after a D&C for a blighted ovum... BOLLOX TO THE DOCTORS! Do what's right for you - it's your body, not theirs. And what are they going to do if you do get pg? Refuse to treat you?! There are two main issues: 1) doctors' opinions and 2) your mental health. If medical opinion was unanimous, I'd say go with it. But the fact your doctors said to wait a cycle or two, a friend's said wait three months, another's said wait 6 months, and mine all said no need to wait suggests to me that in the absence of a specific individual reason, there is no medical evidence to back up any particular recommendation. If your doctors had said that they had accidentally cut the uterine wall, or that it was a particularly complicated D&C, and that you would need to allow extra time to heal, then that would be a good reason to wait. However, if they used that kind of reasoning, I would be demanding u/s scans to check that I had healed properly... My doctors told me that the usual reason for a recommendation of a month or two (and I asked both gynaes) was because it's much easier to date (e.g. my LMP with this pregnancy is actually 11 June, same as the last) - but that will not be an issue if you know your ov date (my doc has simply made up a new LMP for me based on ov date minus 14 - the benefits of charting!) - and because many women will need that time to recover emotionally. The docs do not want to be responsible for a woman trying before she's ready, and for a lot of women, being told that can't try absolves them of pressure/responsibility/guilt.
That leads us to 2) mental health. I thought long and hard about this after the m/c. For some reason I convinced myself that I'd get pg if we tried right away (well, I had a weird dream, but that makes me sound like a freak, so I shall tell you that I read that statistically, women DO appear to be more fertile immediately after a m/c, as Trudy said, and thus I calculated that there was an increased probability of pregnancy. That makes me sound much more sane). I asked myself the following questions:
1) Do I feel prepared for another pg so soon? Or will I feel guilty for not preparing myself better, i.e. regaining fitness, losing the bloat, etc?
2) Will I be able to separate the two pgs? Or will I see the second as a continuation of the first, and be convinced that it will follow the same template? (that I have struggled with, I admit. In some ways it would have been good to have had the clean break of a period between them)
3) How will I cope with m/c? (this is the important question - it was only when I finally convinced myself that if I was to m/c again, I'd get over it, that I was willing to try. But for me, I had to work out dates, and get to grips with the realisation that I could actually be pg for 6 months, and still end up with no baby to show for it - that has to be worse than two separate 3-month m/cs when at least you've felt normal in between).
4) What if I actually don't get pg? The finality of not being pg might hit rather harder than if you had deliberately planned not to be, by waiting till after AF. This may sound really odd, but I was so convinced that I would get pg that had my period come instead, I think I would have had a breakdown. I would not have coped with that.
Only you can know. But I honestly think that your own responses to the above questions are much more important than your doctors' opinions, UNLESS they have given solid medical reasons for their recommendation. If it's generic advice, it's useless.
Obviously, I'm delighted that I'm pg again - and my doctor is also delighted and says there is no reason why this shouldn't go to term. But it would be wrong of me not to mention that it has not been easy. My biggest issue is that of separation of pregnancies. I find it very difficult to remember that I am only 6w pregnant, not 22w pregnant. I keep expecting to have developed a bump. I get false confidence syndrome - mentally I feel like I'm past the first tri, then I get a really nasty shock when I realise that's all still ahead - and I feel cold and sick at the thought of it all. I forget that it's too early to tell people - I have, after all, been pregnant since June, with just a week of negative tests in the middle of that. I want to move on already. I'm sure there's a lot a psychologist could have a field day with, but these things really are the hardest, along with the obvious worry (but then, I think once you've had a m/c, you're going to worry with any pg, doesn't matter how long the gap between).
and yeah, I'm not impressed with your MIL either. Mine is lovely, though it's all a bit difficult at the moment. She keeps phoning up every couple of days to find out how I am post-m/c, and then gets really upset about it... we haven't told her about the new pg, since if that went wrong, we really don't think she'd cope (it's all bringing back bad memories of her own m/cs) but in the meantime I feel terrible. She's being so sweet, offering support and advice and then getting upset over the loss of her potential grandchild, and I feel like a fraud as I try to console her! But I'd go for a weepy MIL any day over your insensitive one...
ok, this has turned into another really long post.
And now I feel knackered and queasy and I haven't really responded to anyone else
Please forgive me, I love you all dearly, I don't mean to offend anyone, and if I go like this anymore I'll make myself cry
oh yes, did I mention I've been getting very over-emotional recently?! will try to catch up properly in the next couple of days, but we're away for the weekend with friends (that'll be interesting, hiding the pg from THEM!) so may not be till next week...Good to see Kitty back on long post form!!
Sookie - hope you are ok - I think if you feel ready just go for it!
rom sorry you are having a hard time. hope there is some light on the horizon soon!
Hope everyone is ok, good to see everyone chatting again!
I'm a bit up and down at the min, so haven't been posting so much but I have been lurking!
My mum really got to me last night. I'm still reeling a bit tbh. I will try and explain briefly....
When I got pg, parents said they would downsize and move closer. We live just outside Edinburgh, they are in Glasgow.
My mum actually works in Edinburgh 3 days a week, so she said she would look after the baby 2 days a week.
Now, I saw her on Saturday and we spoke about it briefly. They can't move just now with the way the market is but the rest of the plan still seemed to be happening.
Then she texts me asking if she can come and stay last night and she wants to talk to me about childcare.
I asked if she had changed her mind, and she said no but maybe we could do it differently.
(sorry this is getting a bit long )
So she appears last night and tells me she has realised if she does what she said she would, she would hardly ever be at home or see my dad. Well yes, I did think that myself but she's not stupid you would think it may have occured to her too.
So this is her solution..... please bear in mind when i go back to work baby will only be about 7/8 months old...
She would like to take the baby through to Glasgow on a Wednesday after work and KEEP IT THERE until Friday afternoon/evening when I could go and collect it - or if I was too tired leave it until Saturday i'm sorry but no F'ing way!!!
I was so proud of myself - usually I react very quickly to my mum but I kept perfectly calm although inside i was raging!!
I totally understand her reasons don't get me wrong but that is a crazy idea!!!
I'm a bit disappointed as it would have saved us a fair bit on child care but i would rather pay more and at least have my baby here when I am home, even if it means we will have to cut back elsewhere (don't know where but that's another issue!). Imagine sitting for 2 or 3 nights a week with NO BABY!!!???
Also, she thinks I should go back part-time as I will be "missing out on so much" - well i think I would miss out on even more if I agree to that. It's madness. Isn't it?? I would love to work part-time but unfortunately we have, like most other people, a huge mortgage and lots of bills to pay! We need both our incomes. (DH found out yesterday he is getting a "promotion" but no pay rise - that was a bit of a kick in the teeth as well as it would have really helped!)
DH totally agrees with me so there is no problem there (he was present during the whole conversation) and immediately started working out how much full time child care will cost!
I think things may be a bit funny with my mum now but I did stress that I understand her reasons and totally accept them. I just can't believe she thinks taking the baby away is the answer??? Or is it me who is off my rocker??
So I hardly slept at all, and when I got to work someone asked me how I was and I burst into tears
Sorry that ended up so long, but i feel a bit better now!! Grrrrrrrr!!
Well I can't believe it's half eight already. I honestly don't know where the evenings go - it's alarming!!
Best go and wash up etc as DH cooked (again).
That was another thing - when she got here last night DH was cooking a risotto. He LOVES cooking, and had made his own chicken stock and everything and mum loudly says " Does that poor man have to cook every night when he gets home?!"
Well no actually he doesn't, but quite often he likes to. ANd I could comment on the relative cooking skills of my two parents but kept my mouth shut.
God, I'm off again......... sorry!!
Hope everyone is ok!!
to all
(and I will post a bump pic soon Loola!!)
Sookie - hope you are ok - I think if you feel ready just go for it!
rom
sorry you are having a hard time. hope there is some light on the horizon soon! Hope everyone is ok, good to see everyone chatting again!
I'm a bit up and down at the min, so haven't been posting so much but I have been lurking!
My mum really got to me last night. I'm still reeling a bit tbh. I will try and explain briefly....
When I got pg, parents said they would downsize and move closer. We live just outside Edinburgh, they are in Glasgow.
My mum actually works in Edinburgh 3 days a week, so she said she would look after the baby 2 days a week.
Now, I saw her on Saturday and we spoke about it briefly. They can't move just now with the way the market is but the rest of the plan still seemed to be happening.
Then she texts me asking if she can come and stay last night and she wants to talk to me about childcare.
I asked if she had changed her mind, and she said no but maybe we could do it differently.
(sorry this is getting a bit long
)So she appears last night and tells me she has realised if she does what she said she would, she would hardly ever be at home or see my dad. Well yes, I did think that myself but she's not stupid you would think it may have occured to her too.
So this is her solution.....
please bear in mind when i go back to work baby will only be about 7/8 months old...She would like to take the baby through to Glasgow on a Wednesday after work and KEEP IT THERE until Friday afternoon/evening when I could go and collect it - or if I was too tired leave it until Saturday
i'm sorry but no F'ing way!!!I was so proud of myself - usually I react very quickly to my mum but I kept perfectly calm although inside i was raging!!
I totally understand her reasons don't get me wrong but that is a crazy idea!!!
I'm a bit disappointed as it would have saved us a fair bit on child care but i would rather pay more and at least have my baby here when I am home, even if it means we will have to cut back elsewhere (don't know where but that's another issue!). Imagine sitting for 2 or 3 nights a week with NO BABY!!!???
Also, she thinks I should go back part-time as I will be "missing out on so much" - well i think I would miss out on even more if I agree to that. It's madness. Isn't it?? I would love to work part-time but unfortunately we have, like most other people, a huge mortgage and lots of bills to pay! We need both our incomes. (DH found out yesterday he is getting a "promotion" but no pay rise - that was a bit of a kick in the teeth as well as it would have really helped!)
DH totally agrees with me so there is no problem there (he was present during the whole conversation) and immediately started working out how much full time child care will cost!
I think things may be a bit funny with my mum now but I did stress that I understand her reasons and totally accept them. I just can't believe she thinks taking the baby away is the answer??? Or is it me who is off my rocker??
So I hardly slept at all, and when I got to work someone asked me how I was and I burst into tears
Sorry that ended up so long, but i feel a bit better now!! Grrrrrrrr!!
Well I can't believe it's half eight already. I honestly don't know where the evenings go - it's alarming!!
Best go and wash up etc as DH cooked (again).
That was another thing - when she got here last night DH was cooking a risotto. He LOVES cooking, and had made his own chicken stock and everything and mum loudly says " Does that poor man have to cook every night when he gets home?!"
Well no actually he doesn't, but quite often he likes to. ANd I could comment on the relative cooking skills of my two parents but kept my mouth shut.
God, I'm off again......... sorry!!
Hope everyone is ok!!
to all (and I will post a bump pic soon Loola!!)
Sookie, I agree with Kitty, forget what your docs says try when YOU are ready I started trying straight away, though it took a few months to concieve.
For everyone else, sorry there is too much here , I have read it all and I just wanted to say I hope you are all ok.Im shatterd
Oh looking forward to seing more bump pics!
Aww Kmac hun! I am completely with you I would never give my baby to my Mum for a few nights a week! Its just not realistic at all. I cant understand the odd weekend here and there but not seeing your own child for half a week every week is just insane. I really dont know much about child care costs, but will you get any help with child care costs from the Government? or do you have to be earning under a certain amount for that?
Sookie - Go for it! I wouldnt wait at all! I think there have been quite a few pregnancies that have happened straight after a m/c, including Kitty, Flossy and Babydust. I really want you to get your sticky BFP. I agree your MIL was very insensitive
I want to see more bumps please!
I discovered today that one of my colleagues is pregnant. She is one of the most selfsh, prissy and snobby cows you are ever likely to meet. For that reason alone Im gutted She had been trying for the grand total of 1 month. some people just dont have to want for anything do they. Jealousy is a terrible thing, I know She was a hypocondriac anyway, she is always off sick so now she will be off for the next 9 months I guess. Not that Im complaining.
Sookie - Go for it! I wouldnt wait at all! I think there have been quite a few pregnancies that have happened straight after a m/c, including Kitty, Flossy and Babydust. I really want you to get your sticky BFP. I agree your MIL was very insensitive
I want to see more bumps please!
I discovered today that one of my colleagues is pregnant. She is one of the most selfsh, prissy and snobby cows you are ever likely to meet. For that reason alone Im gutted
She had been trying for the grand total of 1 month. some people just dont have to want for anything do they. Jealousy is a terrible thing, I know She was a hypocondriac anyway, she is always off sick so now she will be off for the next 9 months I guess. Not that Im complaining. 
kmac - that sounds exactly like something my mother would say In fact, DH asked me a couple of nights ago how I was going to handle my mother. I was confused, then he said "well, you know that she will want to look after the baby - on her terms, in her house. How are you going to react whilst remaining on speaking terms?" - and we're only 6w pg!
Obviously, your mother is being totally unreasonable. I think you've done very well to remain calm so far... Whilst her argument that she doesn't want to be separated from your dad is a strong one, your argument that you don't want to be separated from your baby is even stronger. If your mum can commute to Edinburgh three days a week for work, why can't she do the same journey for her grandchild? Would you have enough room for your parents to stay on Weds and Thurs nights, and would your dad be willing to commute to Glasgow for work on Thurs and Fri? He would then see his grandchild on Weds and Thurs evenings too.
I know what you mean about working part-time, but it is probably worth investigating. Several friends here found that it was cheaper to work part-time and pay only for part-time childcare, especially whilst the baby's small, since childcare is so expensive (one friend got quotes ranging from £1800-£2500 per month for an 8mo baby full-time - you'd have to be earning at least £32,000 to be able to pay tax, NI and the childcare fees, and that doesn't even allow for the costs of commuting, let alone anything towards mortgage and other living expenses... ). Basically, don't close off any options yet. Can your DH ask for a pay-rise? I was once given a promotion with no pay-rise, and told them I didn't want the extra responsibility without the extra reward, and that other companies offered higher pay for the role they were offering me (I showed a few job ads too to prove my point). Amazingly, I was instantly offered an extra £8k per year... if you don't ask, you don't get, though I know now isn't a great time to be asking anyone for more money...
Anyway, I can't quite imagine what your mum was thinking, but it was totally insensitive and totally unreasonable. With any luck she'll think about it a bit and realise how outrageous her suggestion was and apologise at the very least!
In fact, DH asked me a couple of nights ago how I was going to handle my mother. I was confused, then he said "well, you know that she will want to look after the baby - on her terms, in her house. How are you going to react whilst remaining on speaking terms?" - and we're only 6w pg! Obviously, your mother is being totally unreasonable. I think you've done very well to remain calm so far... Whilst her argument that she doesn't want to be separated from your dad is a strong one, your argument that you don't want to be separated from your baby is even stronger. If your mum can commute to Edinburgh three days a week for work, why can't she do the same journey for her grandchild? Would you have enough room for your parents to stay on Weds and Thurs nights, and would your dad be willing to commute to Glasgow for work on Thurs and Fri? He would then see his grandchild on Weds and Thurs evenings too.
I know what you mean about working part-time, but it is probably worth investigating. Several friends here found that it was cheaper to work part-time and pay only for part-time childcare, especially whilst the baby's small, since childcare is so expensive (one friend got quotes ranging from £1800-£2500 per month for an 8mo baby full-time - you'd have to be earning at least £32,000 to be able to pay tax, NI and the childcare fees, and that doesn't even allow for the costs of commuting, let alone anything towards mortgage and other living expenses... ). Basically, don't close off any options yet. Can your DH ask for a pay-rise? I was once given a promotion with no pay-rise, and told them I didn't want the extra responsibility without the extra reward, and that other companies offered higher pay for the role they were offering me (I showed a few job ads too to prove my point). Amazingly, I was instantly offered an extra £8k per year... if you don't ask, you don't get, though I know now isn't a great time to be asking anyone for more money...
Anyway, I can't quite imagine what your mum was thinking, but it was totally insensitive and totally unreasonable. With any luck she'll think about it a bit and realise how outrageous her suggestion was and apologise at the very least!
Trudyscrumptious76
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OH Kmac. you poor love. I don't think she's thought it through really. Once she has she might realise how abusurd a suggestion it is. You are definitely right, it's hard enough leaving your baby to go to work, never mind not seeing it for 3 days a week. Madness!
I hope you get it sorted.
I hope you get it sorted.
choklatemunky
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Oh dear - looks like a few people are needing some
Trudyscrumptious76
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Just been in 3rd Tri (there's no stopping me now!!) Rach's water had broken last night and she was due for her section.
